Mate's wife is cheating on him, should I tell him?

everlast75

py2006 wrote: »

banned after 2 posts??

turns out he was the one banging his mate's wife

lightspeed

OP how do you know your mate doesnt know already?

Is it possible they have an open relationship where they allow each other to sleep around?

A_Sober_Paddy

Blackmail...

manofcavan

Depends, if you're riding her I'd say best not lol

professore

pappyodaniel wrote: »

Maybe it's best to approach the wife and tell her you know the craic. It's a sh1tty position she has put you in so tell her in no uncertain terms that she has to tell him or you'll do it yourself.

There's a good chance she will just do everything to discredit the OP - she could even say he made passes at her and now he's trying to cover his tracks. I would tell him anonymously - with proof.

professore

lightspeed wrote: »

OP how do you know your mate doesnt know already?

Is it possible they have an open relationship where they allow each other to sleep around?

Then it doesn't matter if he tells him? He'll say "we have an open marriage, if you fancy a ride yourself let me know"

_Kaiser_

Stay out of it..

You tell him..

- He doesn't believe you/shoots the messenger
- He confronts her, she denies it - stalemate without evidence. He asks for her phone. She flips accusing him of not trusting her etc
- He confronts her, she confesses - but somehow he ends up being the one leaving/losing his home and kids

And that's before the rumors and gossip starts when the neighbours get wind of it

If you have absolutely concrete evidence that can't be explained away, and you absolutely have to tell him, then tell the wife she has a week to do it or you will.

I'd probably tell if it was my friend, but I'd give them the chance to admit it themselves, then I'd make sure I'd every shred of evidence (not just rumors or random sightings out) available and I'd still be prepared to lose a friend over it.

nice_guy80

Long lens camera and a mic like Ted and Dougal

wakka12

Widdershins wrote: »

It feels like the right thing to tell him but it's easy to do that, and wash your hands of it. What about watching their marriage break up? You can't be sure he hasn't done the same or..any number of things.


I'd suggest you tell her you know.

I think that should weigh on the cheating wife's conscience more than the OP's.

I agree to tell her first though before the husband

wakka12

also how can you be 100% sure she's cheating on him? Like she's married, I doubt many married women with children will be very obvious about their affair, ie. meeting the guy in public where you can see them

riclad

Send him a text from a new sim,or email from a new email adress ,from a concerned friend .
Your wife is cheating , if theres an argument,or a breakup
there,s no point in getting caught up in the situation .
Some married men may not care if the wife cheats as long as she is discreet about it.
eg i know people who were not in a hurry to get a divorce ,
Even though they were separated
the marriage may be just convenient ,eg they may live together
but maybe no longer in love.
IF a woman meets a single man a few time,s in a certain place it may be to cheat,
eg in a pub or hotel where the husband does not go .
And the husband does not know they meet up.

The flying mouse

riclad wrote: »

Send him a text from a new sim,or email from a new email adress ,from a concerned friend .
Your wife is cheating , if theres an argument,or a breakup
there,s no point in getting caught up in the situation .
Some married men may not care if the wife cheats as long as she is discreet about it.
eg i know people who were not in a hurry to get a divorce ,
Even though they were separated
the marriage may be just convenient ,eg they may live together
but maybe no longer in love.
IF a woman meets a single man a few time,s in a certain place it may be to cheat,
eg in a pub or hotel where the husband does not go .
And the husband does not know they meet up.

That's a good idea but, What happens when friend says to OP, My wife was cheating on me etc etc etc and he finds out he knows already, The why dident you tell me scenario comes into force big time..unless he denys ever knowing ??

riclad

Just say i,m sorry to hear that, thats bad news ,
could happen to anyone,
Unless you work with the other man how are you supposed to know,?
if the husband doesn,t know why should you know .
The husband cant read your mind,
i presume he,ll talk to his wife , maybe try and fix the relationship.
She,s probably not kissing the man in the street or meeting him
in a pub down the road where she lives .

Widdershins

wakka12 wrote: »

I think that should weigh on the cheating wife's conscience more than the OP's.

I agree to tell her first though before the husband

It'd be on mine too whether I deserved it or not

Avatar MIA

:pac:What's the point of this thread if the OP is banned. Almost certainly a fantasy/troll post.

BTW, being banned for using the word Mate is a bit harsh... but only just.

dieselbug

Yes tell him, don't tell her first, forewarned is forearmed. It just give her time to have her lies ready, that on top of the betrayal and disloyalty.

One question though...

Why is she cheating?

myshirt

Don't tell him.

None of your business.

Avatar MIA

dieselbug wrote: »

Why is she cheating?

The poster is banned. It's likely a made up story, but if you want closure...

Actually, it's because her husband has a micro-penis and she wasn't being satisfied. Very sad story.

gifted

Am I the only one who wonders why people get banned??? Lol lol

macnug

The amount of this carry on is unreal, only heard a rumour yesterday of a neighbour and another having an affair. The husband is out working nights an his wife if over banging a guy 3 doors down ( or so the rumour goes). Its **** the thoughts of this guy out working for his family and his wife is doing this to him. The other guy has a wife and kids too and his wife is in and out of hospital with a medical condition. I know these people fairly well but I'll stay out of it because this guy would never believe anybody over his wife, they have been outed before and anyway its none of my business.

Boggy Turf

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Send him an anonymous email. Can't shoot a messenger that you don't know the identity of.

I think this is a very weak approach. Tell him yourself and then tell him you are there to support him in any way. Who knows how he will react when he finds out (and he will).

leggo

The anonymity idea is flawed because whether or not you choose to believe someone else's word on an emotional issue is usually tied to how you view that person. If someone sent me something like that anonymously, I'd likely read it as some fool who wanted to annoy me and ignore it (unless I had serious trust issues with my missus).

If it was an acquaintence, I'd likely leave it well alone. No point getting caught up on someone else's drama. If it was one of a very select few people, I'd go to them and be like "Look this is none of my business but I'd feel bad if it turned out to be something and I said nothing..." then tell them the exact facts without my reading or opinion of the situation. If I saw her in a nightclub holding hands with some bloke, if I saw her at dinner looking friendly with a bloke, that's what I'd say. I wouldn't say "she's having an affair" or weigh in with what I felt he should do, because that's when you start meddling and crossing boundaries. And most reasonable people would see that and appreciate it, whatever they do with it.

dieselbug

Reminds me of...

Bloke came home from the pub one night looking very anxious, depressed, and worried.

When his wife asked what was wrong he explained... "That f*****g Johhnny Murphy is down in the pub bragging to everyone that he has rode every woman in this estate bar one"!!

His wife looked very thoughtful for a few moments and then gushed "I bet it's that stuck up bitch in no7

Muff Richardson

py2006 wrote: »

banned after 2 posts??

why did the OP get banned? his only other post was some relatively harmless anecdote on him ****ting the bed when he was a kid cos he thought he saw something

The_Captain

Told a friend he was being cheated on. Me and another guy met up with him and basically told him about the guy his long-time gf was seeing on the side.

He accused her, she denied it, they had a big fight, she admitted it, broke down begged forgiveness and when she got it she told him he couldn't be friends with us anymore because it would be too difficult with us knowing what had happened, and loyalty to her or whatever.

End result: we lost a friend and he stayed with his cheating girlfriend. They're still together and I haven't spoken to him in years

razorblunt

The_Captain wrote: »

Told a friend he was being cheated on. Me and another guy met up with him and basically told him about the guy his long-time gf was seeing on the side.

He accused her, she denied it, they had a big fight, she admitted it, broke down begged forgiveness and when she got it she told him he couldn't be friends with us anymore because it would be too difficult with us knowing what had happened, and loyalty to her or whatever.

End result: we lost a friend and he stayed with his cheating girlfriend. They're still together and I haven't spoken to him in years

Hard lines fella, but I'd rather that, than knowing and not sharing it with him
Yourself and your other friend, handled that perfectly too.

kunst nugget

The_Captain wrote: »

Told a friend he was being cheated on. Me and another guy met up with him and basically told him about the guy his long-time gf was seeing on the side.

He accused her, she denied it, they had a big fight, she admitted it, broke down begged forgiveness and when she got it she told him he couldn't be friends with us anymore because it would be too difficult with us knowing what had happened, and loyalty to her or whatever.

End result: we lost a friend and he stayed with his cheating girlfriend. They're still together and I haven't spoken to him in years

Well, your conscience is clear. Not your fault your friend was a pillock. Handy way to weed him out though.

kunst nugget

Muff Richardson wrote: »

why did the OP get banned? his only other post was some relatively harmless anecdote on him ****ting the bed when he was a kid cos he thought he saw something

Most likely a re-reg that they were able to spot straight away. There was a rash of them over the last week or two.

diomed

The_Captain wrote: »

Told a friend he was being cheated on. Me and another guy met up with him and basically told him about the guy his long-time gf was seeing on the side.

He accused her, she denied it, they had a big fight, she admitted it, broke down begged forgiveness and when she got it she told him he couldn't be friends with us anymore because it would be too difficult with us knowing what had happened, and loyalty to her or whatever.

End result: we lost a friend and he stayed with his cheating girlfriend. They're still together and I haven't spoken to him in years

Good move by her. She has eliminated the possibility of future reports.