My first novel - now on Amazon

alfa beta

Hi all ... been a while since I've been here ... been scribbling .... scribbled 130,000 words and the rescribbled and rescribbled until I was happy-ish!!

Now it's done - phew

It's called 'After the Affair' by Jonathan Kaye - (Oh and there's adult content - I just read the charter, and it seems I gotta say that here.)

Here's a link. Remember you don't need a Kindle to read - you can just download the free Kindle app from Amazon and read the book on any device.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N09ZG5P/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478720805&sr=8-1&keywords=jonathan+kaye


I really need a few reviews to get the ball rolling on selling / promoting etc - so I'd be very very very very grateful if anyone might oblige. Also - if you're skint and want a copy of the full book but can't afford to buy just send me a pm and I'll get it to you in return for a review. (I can send as PDF / epub / azw3 file.)

Thanks for having a look - appreciate all the help I can get :-)

Das Kitty

Ooh. I remember the bit I read.

I'm going to buy that now.

alfa beta

Das Kitty - you're an uberstar - thank you :-) :-)

Insect Overlord

Congratulations!

alfa beta

wu-hoooo - just got my first review on Goodreads (by someone I don't even know) and it might just be the highlight of my writing career lol.

I'm so chuffed with it, I'm posting it here and I'm claiming my Warholian fifteen minutes and I'm smiling like a loon.

I don't care if I'll only ever sell thirteen copies .... I got a five star review from someone who's not my mother and that is all there is to it. I am now officially the best novelist ever in the history of novelism.

Here it is ..... I need a trumpet fanfare .... hang on, I'm just gonna read it again before posting it ....


"An epic thriller! If I could award a 6 star rating I would.
After the Affair is the one of the most compelling page turners I've read in years.

Intriguing, brilliant writing accompany a fabulous plot.
After the Affair is amazingly fast paced, with vividly rich three dimensional characters,a brilliantly articulated narrative and super dialogue which herald the way for shocking twists & turns galore.
One of the most suspense fueled thrillers I've ever encountered.
After the Affair is spine tingling experience, filled riveting with tension and suspense.
This book is highly atmospheric and its primary atmosphere is one of palpable tension; almost every page I turned transported me into David Ryan's world and left me feeling the knife edge that he was living.

Jonathan Kaye shooting star of the highest calibre.
Such a spectacular writer, his official title should be storyteller extraordinaire.
His writing transcends all the usual genre classifications.
Inter genre master: an expert of the thriller, mystery and crime genres.
Looking forward to reading more Jonathan Kaye books."


(I think I'll print it out and frame it :-) :-))))

echo beach

alfa beta wrote: »

(I think I'll print it out and frame it :-) :-))))

Do, do, do.
I can't wait to read it now.

Kalimah

Based on that review I'm going to buy it!

Kalimah

I've just bought it! Looking forward to a good read. I'll review it as soon as i can!

Just finished the first chapter- adult content alright but the writing is excellent. I can't wait to read a bit more.

alfa beta

Thanks Kalimah - both for the purchase and the comment - hope you find the rest of the book a good read

DangerMouse27

Amazing stuff alfa beta. Congratulations.

I've published on Amazon myself so kudos for putting it out there.

I must say, the cover is exceptionally striking. Was it Lime Tree that arranged all of that?

Best of luck.

alfa beta

Thanks Dangermouse - putting your writing up for sale is somewhat intimidating isn't it?! One friend of mine said showing her scribbles to other people felt a bit like taking all your clothes off and standing in front of them and saying, 'so, there you go, what do you think?!' ... and it's true, it is a bit like that.

So far, reaction from friends has been good and the reviews from people I don't know - one from Goodreads as quoted above and one on Amazon.com (as opposed to .co.uk) - have been very positive, so at least I don't feel embarrassed about what I've done!

Unfortunately some glitch with amazon.co.uk means their 'look inside' function (where a reader can read the first few chapters online for free) doesn't appear to be working on mobile devices (works fine on amazon.com across all devices). I'm hoping this will be fixed soon as I'd like to start promoting the book and I know the best market to start with would be Ire/UK.

Thanks for the compliment on the cover btw - that's just done in 'Pages' on a mac using a royalty free image. (Lime Tree was the company name I used to use for copywriting jobs so I stuck with it for my foray into self-publishing )

Kalimah

I'm nearly 20% in and loving it so far. I don't think there's hardly a word I would change except " might" for "may" used once , though I think "may" seems to be what everyone uses now. i'm a bit old fashioned!

The whole think just flows along so well- there's a lovely balance between description and dialogue. I can visualize all the locations too which I like. The whole thing is just so real- really well done!

SanfranCal

Congratulations, Alfa Beta.  You can now officially call yourself an author!  It takes a lot of courage to wake up one morning and say I am going to be a writer.
Just so you know, Amazon.com now has two 5-star ratings for your novel -- Amazon.com being the USA website.
I need to get myself a Kindle!  Good luck to you.

echo beach

Warning. Do not start this novel unless you have time to keep reading.

I started with the intention of only reading the first chapter and couldn't stop until I had to give in and go to bed long after midnight. Can't wait to get back to finish it. Really gripping.
Well done.

alfa beta

Thanks for the feedback kalimah and Echo Beach - hope you're still enjoying the read - hey, if you spot any typos, please shout. I've been proofreading it again over the past couple of days and picked up a few howlers - that's the great thing about e-books, you can edit and change them even when they're live and re-upload. I've read it so many times now I can't imagine there's much left that's slipped through the net, but you never know.

angeldaisy

Never visited this forum before, but spotted it on my home page so popped in.

I'm always looking for a good read, so I've just purchased your book. I'll give it a review as soon as I've finished it.
Looking forward to reading it based on reviews here!

Pawwed Rig

Congrats on the book. I just purchased it on Kindle so will start making my way through.

alfa beta

wow - thanks angel daisy and pawwed rig - really appreciate that - hope you both find it a good read

Livvie

It's doing really well - 39,737 might sound pretty low in the charts, but it really isn't when you think how many Kindle books are available.

I'm going to read and review - but probably not this side of Christmas.

alfa beta

thanks livvie - I actually remember you saying something about needing 'rhino-hide skin' when you first published your book (sorry, can't remember the name but it was about a guy called Luke and the writing was stunning). Have you got any of that Rhino-hide left ... I could do with some lol!

Kalimah

I'm 65% of the way through- I left my Kindle in the office last night and was really disappointed I couldn't read more! I absolutely love the whole story!

lawred2

Just bought it

alfa beta

Thanks Kalimah - so glad you're liking it - it really steps up a gear now until the end And thanks Lawred, really appreciate the purchase

Livvie

alfa beta wrote: »

thanks livvie - I actually remember you saying something about needing 'rhino-hide skin' when you first published your book (sorry, can't remember the name but it was about a guy called Luke and the writing was stunning). Have you got any of that Rhino-hide left ... I could do with some lol!

Thank you! I'm surprised - and extremely flattered - that you remembered both my comment, and some of the book detail. And thanks too, for being so complimentary.

Am looking forward to getting my teeth into yours - this will help me with my post Christmas breakdown, that I'm managing to put off until at least 27th December!

Kalimah

I'm three quarters of the way through! I literally cannot put it down. I have a suspicion about one of the main characters not being quite as they seem. I won't say any more! It would make a great two or three part TV drama I think. I wonder would any of the film production companies be interested? And it should be in the shops too. If I was a publisher I'd publish it in the morning and there's hardly a word I'd change. I'd be delighted if I'd written it!

Kalimah

I have just finished it!!!! All I can say is wow!!! I'm so impressed by it. Just two observations that you might have changed already alfa beta- Euston station should be Houston, and towards the end when you were talking about a brand of car- I would change that to marque.
I'm going to miss the characters so much . I loved Hayes by the way! If someone doesn't make this into a movie or a tv special I'll eat my hat.

alfa beta

Thanks Kalimah - I'm so glad you liked it - (and thanks for the nod re Euston / Houston - getting my cities mixed up ... I also had another boardsie point out a misspelling of Glasnevin - it's great to have you eagle eyed readers out there because I can update the Kindle version as many times as I like :-) )

Do please spread the word among friends etc - being self-published I have literally no marketing or advertising budget. All I've got is a book and word of mouth (i.e. the same marketing tools as a few million other aspiring writers on amazon!!!)

Chuffed you liked Hayes btw - He was great fun to write!!

Kalimah

I've already recommended it to a few people- and will to many more!

Pawwed Rig

Heuston Station, No?

Wailin

Kalimah wrote: »

I have just finished it!!!! All I can say is wow!!! I'm so impressed by it. Just two observations that you might have changed already alfa beta- Euston station should be Houston, and towards the end when you were talking about a brand of car- I would change that to marque.
I'm going to miss the characters so much . I loved Hayes by the way! If someone doesn't make this into a movie or a tv special I'll eat my hat.

If its based in dublin its Heuston station not Houston!

alfa beta

thanks guys - I realised what Kalimah meant - I'd left the H of Heuston - now corrected for future downloaders (the beauty of ebooks eh!!)

Kalimah

I knew when I wrote Houston it didn't look right!

9or10

Hi Alfa Beta - finished the kindle sample last night - then a wifi glitch meant I couldn't buy the rest - Grrrrrrr 1st world problems.

Just bought it now.

Pawwed Rig

Finished the book yesterday. It is definitely a page turner and kept my interest to the end. Very good story and very well written. Congrats on it

Missus is reading it at the moment.

alfa beta

Thanks all - getting some great feedback here (as well as some constructive points that have allowed me to make changes) and I'm really delighted people are enjoying the story and the writing.

I wonder if I could ask a favour. It would be great if anyone who's read the book here could pop a (glowing 5-star!!!) review up on the amazon site they bought it on (either .com or .co.uk)

Unfortunately at the moment I've got lots of good verbal feedback, but only one review on amazon.co.uk and two on .com. I could do with some more reviews/ratings to encourage potential purchases. Otherwise it's simply not going to sell. (There are services you can pay for to do reviews - Kirkus, Netgalley etc, but they're very expensive and I don't have the resources so if anyone has a few minutes to pop something up on amazon that would be amazing.) Thank you

Livvie

Are you on Twitter? I will do a post on there for you if so.

alfa beta

Livvie wrote: »

Are you on Twitter? I will do a post on there for you if so.

Only just started using it ... not sure what to make of it ... I'm a die hard face booker!!

I'm @jonathankaye000

and the link to the amazon store for my book is https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=jonathan+kaye

Thanks Livvie

Yellow pack crisps

How inspiring. I am going to buy it and do a review when i have read it. But a big congratulations on finishing it as a friend of mine says the art is in the finishing. The cover is deadly BTW.

lawred2

Well I've just started chapter one and it flows nicely.

Main protagonist is a right creep.

Reminds me a little of Christian Bale's character in American Psycho.

echo beach

Got it finished and really enjoyed every word. I've stuck up a review for you and will be telling all my friends. This is so much better than just about everything on the bestseller lists.
Have you thought of getting some copies printed, say from a print on demand service where you can order a small number. A few physical copies in shops or to take around when taking to writers groups or book clubs might help to kick-start interest in the way an e-book can't.

Kalimah

I just put up a 5 star review on Amazon. Can't remember if it was .com or .co.uk! I'd second Echo Beach's suggestion re getting some copies printed. Remember how The Martian started life as a self published book and look how that went!

I had meant to do this ages ago Alfa Beta! Fingers crossed for a massive best seller in 2017! We'll all want invites to the launch!

endacl

Bought there. Will queue it up.

Well done.

npgallag

When can I get a paperback...I feel the need to flick through pages..:)

alfa beta

npgallag wrote: »

When can I get a paperback...I feel the need to flick through pages..:)

There's an option now on KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) to produce a paperback. Previously this was only possible though Createspace, another amazon company. So I'll have a look at that over Christmas and see it it would be worth my while.

I just want to make sure any final typos are spotted before going down the paper route. E-books are great that way. If you spot something, you simply fix it and re-upload.

I'll pop a message up here on boards if I make a paperback available.

Thanks for all the messages everyone. Without Boards I don't think I'd have had any sales at all. :-)

pickarooney

Just started reading this. Like it so far.
There are a few minor tense issues that could be looked at, mostly perfect and pluperfect.

"He always thought he'd be a good actor"
Should be "He'd always thought..."

He thought her quite ugly
He didn't mention that

Both should have 'had' as you're describing something that happened previously to the time of the story which is already in the past tense.

A better view [of] her ass.

As best as he could

alfa beta

pickarooney wrote: »

Just started reading this. Like it so far.
There are a few minor tense issues that could be looked at, mostly perfect and pluperfect.

"He always thought he'd be a good actor"
Should be "He'd always thought..."

He thought her quite ugly
He didn't mention that

Both should have 'had' as you're describing something that happened previously to the time of the story which is already in the past tense.

Thanks Pickarooney - Past perfect is a funny old beast. I actually tend to edit out a lot of 'hads' coz they can make flashbacks clumsy. If you set up a passage in Past Perfect (or pluperfect) I find it can get really cumbersome to keep using that format throughout - often smoother to revert to Past Simple (but then make sure to make the end of the flashback obvious) - actually this link explains what I'm rambling on about much better
http://writers.stackexchange.com/questions/4344/should-a-flashback-be-in-past-tense-or-past-perfect

Thanks for the other typo spots - appreciate that.

pickarooney

Couple more typo things.

'Curb' for 'kerb'. You don't use American terms or spelling elsewhere.

Missing 'a' in 'couple of seconds' somewhere.
'An empty and a somewhat' two articles for the same noun.

'Left cruise control do' instead of 'let'. May be idiomatic rather than a typo, but is likely to confuse.

The bit where he bangs the knocker and it's 'almost startling' which isn't a very clear description. The noise is described as loud but Ryan, the only person there, doesn't notice it. The non intrusive narrator shouldn't be able to hear what his character doesn't. It's a nice description otherwise, just rather jarring.

Edit: I'm thoroughly enjoying it by the way. Got caught not listening to customers twice as I was engrossed in it.

Mr E

pickarooney wrote: »

Edit: I'm thoroughly enjoying it by the way. Got caught not listening to customers twice as I was engrossed in it.

I agree - I'm about half way through and I'm hooked. One of the best stories I've read this year (no joke). Hope it takes off for the OP!

alfa beta

Great proofread Pickarooney - serious eagle eyes - very helpful - make sure to forward your invoice when your done!!!

Thanks Mr E - really glad you're liking it

pickarooney

I scribbled a few notes but they don't all make sense reading them back!

leave her sleep

Let her sleep or leave her to sleep

gave away

No idea what this was. It's somewhere between the previous and next bits in the early chapters, maybe you can find whatever it is I meant

one stupid mistake ruin

Again, not sure but I think there was a verb missing

plenty people

Missing 'of' twice

hurtled the tops off

I didn't understand this phrase. Hurtle is not a transitve verb as fast as I know, but it could be a meaning I'm not familiar with

The use of Ryan's last name doesn't sit well with me for some reason. Everyone else has their first name and when you describe the wife and son using their first names and then immediately him as Ryan something seems off. It feels like calling him Ryan is presenting him as some sort of action man, or lessens the reader's sympathy with him. I can't explain it and am possibly alone in thinking it.

alfa beta

Keep em coming Pickarooney!! Extremely helpful.

I imagine the 'gave away' should be changed to 'gave way' - I found a good few of those when proofreading so probably missed that one.

Happy with 'hurtled' - one of the meanings is: break by hitting or throwing violently (as per my trusted thesaurus.com).

My habit tends to be: male characters - use surnames (in narrative) . Female characters and children: use first names. I like that. And if it was good enough for Isaac Asimov it's good enough for me!!