I cheated on my husband

Stealthfins

Shint0 wrote:

Fortunately, this thread isn't about me.

Shint0 wrote:

People struggle with moral dilemmas all the time. It doesn't always mean they will go 'nuts' or suffer reactive depression and counselling isn't always required for every life situation. The event is all very recent and the OP is reflecting on what happened and her behaviour in an appropriate way, in my opinion. If it still continues to bother her and cause her difficulties a few months down the line then counselling might be an appropriate course of action but I wouldn't recommend it straightaway.

I'm only thinking of the woman and what she'd be going through.

My posts are only suggestions.
It's just living with that must be tough.

She's an adult and can make her own suggestions.

I was in her husband's boots before and found out about my exe playing away while on work trips.
I was driven mad,would have preferred if she broke up with me and said she wasn't happy rather than tell me she was doing the horizontal 4 legged monster with a guy ten years younger than I .

Anyhow I hope the op gets over it.

Peist2007

bilbot79 wrote: »

I think a lot of people suggesting she tell are just putting themselves in the husbands shoes rather than the couples shoes. The OP should prioritise the relationship and not any individual within it.

Honestly cant get my head around this. Maybe i'm odd!

If it turns out that she is pregnant as a result of this threesome (hypothetical) would you be advising her to keep that quiet too? Or is there a scale of awfulness that you would draw the line at? I trust it is fine if your own missus is riding all around her as long as she keeps it quiet, yeah?

skywanderer

Imagine the vitriol and bile which would be spouted here if this was a man who had cheated on his woman, Tell your husband so he can make a decision and if it was me I would be leaving you for sure.

Shint0

skywanderer wrote: »

Imagine the vitriol and bile which would be spouted here if this was a man who had cheated on his woman, Tell your husband so he can make a decision and if it was me I would be leaving you for sure.

Actually there have been posts here where men have said they cheated but it's not a gender issue. It's about looking at each case individually and posters trying to offer constructive advice to help the OP weigh up their options. There are always going to be divided opinions as to tell or not to tell based on people's own perception of the greater good. These type of situations are never straightforward but hopefully might help the OP in reaching a decision if someone offers a perspective which might help.

Big Bag of Chips

There is a thread here about a man cheating on his wife. Much like this thread advice and opinion varies from 'don't tell her it'll destroy her', to 'tell her she needs to know'. 'How could you do something so hurtful' to 'good man, you were right, she deserves it'

Mr.JB1986

If I was your husband OP, I think I might be forgiving if you only had had sex with your female friend... this may sound egocentric, but I couldn't forgive you if you also had unprotected sex with the husband. I know you stated that he didn't ejaculate inside you but must have on your body when he pulled out. I could never forgive this, knowing what another man has done to 'my' wife, knowing another man has 'conquered' my wife. I know that it sounds egocentric but..It would tear me apart, thinking about that.

Do you know how these ''friends" of yours are? Are they in turmoil like you are? You gave the husband presumably a mind blowing experience... and you're the one who's suffering.

I feel so sorry for your husband.

Taltos

Mod Note
For reasons outside of our control we have had to close this thread.
OP please PM the mods of PI/RI is you require this thread to be re-opened but we hope at this stage you've enough information to help you with your issue.