Giving money to parents

Sleeper12

AnonAgreeingPerson wrote:

I suggest that you show them what it would cost to move into a rented house with a few mates, point out that they are charging you over the odds (remember a landlord probably pays 42% tax on rental income - I sincerely doubt your folks declare what you pay!) and point out that paying a percentage isn't fair. Suggest a flat rate of 250-300/month.

The most ridiculous advice EVER.

You actually think this is a negotiation? Parents house, parents rules. There's more than money here. OP seems very immature. No offense intended. I'm thinking they are trying to get Op in the habit of handing up money and not squandering it.

Suggesting OP shop his parents to the taxman or threatened to do so is nuts. If Op feels its too much to pay then they could go elsewhere. There's nothing forcing op to stay. Share a house with mates if it's so easy and cheap.

Homeowners can rent rooms in their homes up to 12,000 tax free per year.

enzo roco

Tzardine wrote: »

Welcome to the real world. I dont mean to insult you but you sound very immature for a 19 year old.

I wish I was paying only €100 a week for rent / bills / food.

You have two choices really. Pay up or move out and do it yourself.

The amount of high and mighty responses in this thread.
O yeah, I moved out at 13, Im a hero. Real world blah blah


The person is 19, they asked some questions. Give him/her answers, but no need to be dicks about it.

I know at 19 years of age, I didnt know everything.

Sleeper12

enzo roco wrote:

I know at 19 years of age, I didnt know everything.

Problem is at 19 is you think you know everything.

frozenfrozen

very silly responses re: being shocked that a 19 year old would have the audacity to question paying 400 euros to their parents monthly. By all means work through the costs and try get some reasoning behind that number, but there's no need to go full back-in-my-day mode.

I don't see why you should be forced to pay anything to them. By all means and measures it is only fair for you to contribute once you're earning money and staying under their roof, but it makes no sense if they're forcing you and you're unhappy to do it.

IMO you'd be better off moving down the road from college rather than getting a car. You'd be spending that same 400 euro on living out of home, but you wouldn't be spending over 2k on insurance and all of the costs of buying and running a car.

frozenfrozen

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Problem is at 19 is you think you know everything.

Maybe you did. Some of us have always had the self awareness to know we're gobshites, thank you very much :cool:

Cork Lass

judeboy101 wrote: »

If you have gone from paying nothing to paying €400 pm for effectively the same service then you need to demand an upgrade in that service. Remind them that the service they give now will influence the level of service they get in whatever home you stick them in when they are old.

Whoever gave birth to you really hit the jackpot :mad:

Sleeper12

frozenfrozen wrote:

very silly responses re: being shocked that a 19 year old would have the audacity to question paying 400 euros to their parents monthly. By all means work through the costs and try get some reasoning behind that number, but there's no need to go full back-in-my-day mode.

400 Inc food and bills? The comfort of your real family home. Possibly home cooked meals and laundry done for him. Sounds like the deal of a lifetime.
Best thing could be for Op to move out he will either get a great deal sharing with mates as suggested by some or he will realize how good he has it at home as suggested by others.

pablo128

I was told when I left school if I got a job to hand up 20 pounds, and if I didn't have a job to hand up 30 pounds. Needless to say, I had a job immediately.
When I moved out over 10 years ago,I was handing up 90 euro and glad of it too.

I come from a big family, and 3 of my brothers are tradesmen. My mother pretty much set the rent at what she thought we could afford so we might have been paying more or less than each other. Never an issue between us though. The folks actually bought a second house, for holidays, out of the money we were handing up. Now that we have our own families we are able to use this house whenever it's free.

Pay up, OP. 100 euro is cheap.

frozenfrozen

Sleeper12 wrote: »

400 Inc food and bills? The comfort of your real family home. Possibly home cooked meals and laundry done for him. Sounds like the deal of a lifetime.
Best thing could be for Op to move out he will either get a great deal sharing with mates as suggested by some or he will realize how good he has it at home as suggested by others.

I agree it sounds like a very realistic number but if they're unhappy to hand it up, they could live in a college house with friends for the same money, if it meant they wouldn't have to burn money with a car to get to and from college from home.

400 p/m + 4+ grand for a car for the year is what I'd be working from as the cost of living at home for them VS what it would be to rent and survive in a share with friends

Sleeper12

frozenfrozen wrote:

I agree it sounds like a very realistic number but if they're unhappy to hand it up, they could live in a college house with friends for the same money, if it meant they wouldn't have to burn money with a car to get to and from college from home.

frozenfrozen wrote:

400 p/m + 4+ grand for a car for the year is what I'd be working from as the cost of living at home for them VS what it would be to rent and survive in a share with friends

Agreed. For me family is everything. If I felt the way he does I'd move out rather than cause hard feelings.
BTW yes I definitely thought I knew everything at 19. I cringe thinking of some of the things I said and did. I'm sure if I'm around in another 25 years I'll feel the same about some of my decisions made now. I now know that you are always learning and if I live to 100 I still won't know it all.

LegacyUser

Hmm...I am on the fence about this. While paying your way as an adult is important, your parents dictating what percentage of your income that you save and what you give to them is not actually a good thing.

I left home at 18, never financially contributed to the household but every weekend that I was back, I did all the housework that I could, cooked, and did lots of minor jobs as well as holding down a part time job. I used the money from this job to pay for rent, food, travel, etc. Same thing for my brother. We were encouraged to take responsibility in a different way I suppose.

Now, demanding a third be paid to them, a third be saved and a third for you is not actually teaching you anything. If they sat you down and discussed the reasoning, I would understand but just dictating it is not good, or fair. If they want you to contribute like an adult, they should justify the numbers.

I am not so sure of this line of reasoning for another reason. My aunt did this with her kids, no explanation, just demands. Her logic was that as soon as they were earning, they should contribute, but she put them under pressure to earn as much as possible. They all did very badly in college. One went back and ran up huge loans doing another degree, another did a conversion course and is doing ok and the third never actually got anywhere decent financially. The three of them ended up in unnecessary debt in their mid twenties, through not really learning anything from the experience. The three of them are incredibly resentful now. She is elderly, widowed and probably in need of company, but they view her as a toxic, money obsessed person, so they just don't interact with her.

Her sister, my other aunt asked her kids to contribute when they were working during the summer and weekends when they were living at home. They sat down, worked out a budget (including some savings) and went with that. It worked incredibly well. They knew the reasons for their contributions, worked out realistic savings goals and still had plenty money to spend.

For the record, I don't object to people being asked to contribute but I do feel that if parents want their children to contribute as adults, they need to treat them like adults.

rockingchair1

In my view your "job" at the moment is college and you should be putting as much effort as you can into your degree. Working 40 hours per week is crazy at this stage. You should be working just enough to supplement your SUSI payment to get through college.

Loveinapril

rockingchair1 wrote: »

In my view your "job" at the moment is college and you should be putting as much effort as you can into your degree. Working 40 hours per week is crazy at this stage. You should be working just enough to supplement your SUSI payment to get through college.

Yeah, I would personally be cutting hours too. I worked about 20 hours a week in college because I had to (lived away from home) but if I could have, I would have definitely spent more time studying.

Moonbeam

Lemsiper wrote: »

Full time student? You shouldn't be paying tax.

Being a student does not exempt you from paying tax.
I missed out on the grant because I had to work part time.

newacc2015

pablo128 wrote: »

I was told when I left school if I got a job to hand up 20 pounds, and if I didn't have a job to hand up 30 pounds. Needless to say, I had a job immediately.
When I moved out over 10 years ago,I was handing up 90 euro and glad of it too.

I come from a big family, and 3 of my brothers are tradesmen. My mother pretty much set the rent at what she thought we could afford so we might have been paying more or less than each other. Never an issue between us though. The folks actually bought a second house, for holidays, out of the money we were handing up. Now that we have our own families we are able to use this house whenever it's free.

Pay up, OP. 100 euro is cheap.

I cant see where in your post you mention that you were going to up to 40 hours of lecturers a week, were studying, doing assignments and managing exams on top of that? Because working full time and doing well in College at the same time is generally not possible. Doing 40 hours in a trade is commonly different to doing 40 hours of full time working and doing 40 hours of college per week. I have had friends who worked full time in College. A fair amount of they failed their year and had to repeat at the expense of several thousand.

What your post and 90% of the posts on this thread fail to understand that expecting OP to work massive hours and study at same time is going to negatively effect his College grades. Work experience is beneficial looking for a job in the future. But working 40 hours a week and graduating with a 2,2 will result in OP getting a poorly paid job when he graduates( all decent grad programmes are 2,1 minimum). But I suppose the fact his parents will be able to buy materialistic things like a second house at the expense of their sons education and future earnings makes it grand?

OP my suggestion is email your course co-ordinator in college and ask them how they think you will perform in College working full time. I dont think you will get sure its grand responses that you are getting here at the moment

Wesser

I assume, OP, when you go back to college , you will reduce your working hours down to approx 10 a week, and therefore as you are being charged 1/3 of your wages, you will therefore reduce the amount that you pay to your parents when you back to college pro rata.

I assume when you go from 40 hours a week to 10 hours a week you will still not be paying 400euro.

Can you please clarify this point. Coz some people here are under the impression that you will be working full time when you go back to college and therefore loose out on your education..... Please clarify.

pablo128

newacc2015 wrote: »

I cant see where in your post you mention that you were going to up to 40 hours of lecturers a week, were studying, doing assignments and managing exams on top of that? Because working full time and doing well in College at the same time is generally not possible. Doing 40 hours in a trade is commonly different to doing 40 hours of full time working and doing 40 hours of college per week. I have had friends who worked full time in College. A fair amount of they failed their year and had to repeat at the expense of several thousand.

What your post and 90% of the posts on this thread fail to understand that expecting OP to work massive hours and study at same time is going to negatively effect his College grades. Work experience is beneficial looking for a job in the future. But working 40 hours a week and graduating with a 2,2 will result in OP getting a poorly paid job when he graduates( all decent grad programmes are 2,1 minimum). But I suppose the fact his parents will be able to buy materialistic things like a second house at the expense of their sons education and future earnings makes it grand?

OP my suggestion is email your course co-ordinator in college and ask them how they think you will perform in College working full time. I dont think you will get sure its grand responses that you are getting here at the moment

My parents raised 6 children, all treated as equally as possible. One of my brothers went to college. As soon as he was bringing in money he paid up. Everyone else as soon as they were bringing in money. Now my brother did his leaving cert at 16 so was finished his 2 year course at 18 anyway so it wasn't a huge deal. The rest of us had a choice to go to college. We chose not to.

And why wouldn't my folks treat themselves with the money coming in. I can't imagine it was heaven for them with 6 adult children at one stage living in their house.

newacc2015

newacc2015 wrote: »

I cant see where in your post you mention that you were going to up to 40 hours of lecturers a week, were studying, doing assignments and managing exams on top of that? Because working full time and doing well in College at the same time is generally not possible. Doing 40 hours in a trade is commonly different to doing 40 hours of full time working and doing 40 hours of college per week. I have had friends who worked full time in College. A fair amount of they failed their year and had to repeat at the expense of several thousand.

What your post and 90% of the posts on this thread fail to understand that expecting OP to work massive hours and study at same time is going to negatively effect his College grades. Work experience is beneficial looking for a job in the future. But working 40 hours a week and graduating with a 2,2 will result in OP getting a poorly paid job when he graduates( all decent grad programmes are 2,1 minimum). But I suppose the fact his parents will be able to buy materialistic things like a second house at the expense of their sons education and future earnings makes it grand?

OP my suggestion is email your course co-ordinator in college and ask them how they think you will perform in College working full time. I dont think you will get sure its grand responses that you are getting here at the moment

I work with two different men, we work shifts, including 7am starts, night shifts & work is a ten hour shift.
Both these men ( one of whom had kids ) managed to go to college full time to get degrees while working full time.
The swapped as much as they could, working nights so they could go to college during the day.
They also paid big fees in order to do these degrees.
Both got distinctions.
One is currently doing a master's.

So OP, of course it can be done.
If you want something enough you will put the work in.
If you don't do well I suppose you can always blame your parents making you pay your way for your failure.

Colser

Reading the responses here makes me think that my lot got away with murder when it came to the amount they handed up when working.

I feel it's a lot OP unless they really need the money but they're fully entitled to demand it as it's their house.Personally if I felt that my son/daughter was studying hard and working I'd cut them a little slack and take less than 100e(if I could afford to) but we're all different.

Go with it but if you explain about saving for a car they might reconsider the amount..best of luck with it anyway.

groovyg

unicorn97 wrote: »

My dads on a slightly above average salary. My mam doesn't work and isn't looking for work. as I'm 1/5 of the family can i not pay 1/5 of the bills? i rarely eat in the house also. I get a SUSI grant for college and pay for the buses and food and everything college related myself

You need to be careful how much you earn because if you go over a certain a threshold you might not get the grant when you are reapplying next year. I met a girl the other day who is in college and was working part-time during college year, full time during the summer and holidays, she worked her ass off last year passed the year and came back to college to find out she didn't get the grant this year because her total earnings put her over the threshold! Needless to say she's stressed out of her mind as she's in final year this year and was hoping she wouldn't need to work as much and concentrate on getting good grades.