Giving money to parents

unicorn97

I'm 19 (eldest sibling of 3), student and part time worker. I work mainly Thursday - Sunday in a bar, often at weddings, average 40+/- hours a week. I get paid monthly. My parents set a 1/3 savings, 1/3 spending money, 1/3 give them money policy in my house. This means I am expected to hand up around 400+ euro a month to my parents. Is this fair? i'm trying to save up for a car which is nearly impossible to do on top of day to day costs in my opinion. I've no problem helping my parents out financially but i feel 400 euro a month (5000 a year) is too steep? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

thank you

beechwood55

Do you need a car? Have you got a full licence?
Are your parents well off? Do they pay your college registration fees for example?

Stheno

Will you not have 5000 saved in a year for a car?

Loveinapril

You are not "helping your parents out", you are paying for food, rent and utilities. They have covered the last 19 years and now you can afford to pay it yourself. Welcome to adulthood!

Agent Smith

400 is about fair.

For 400, (say, 100 a week) we'll assume your washing is done, there is food in the fridge, the TV's on, The Internet is connected, there's Heat, electricity, Water coming into the house.

This is part of growing up. 1200 a month isn't a bad start for a student job, you'd be surprised how many people cant save 400 a month!

howamidifferent

Try find a flat to move into where €400 per month covers rent, food and all bills then go back and tell them your off :-)

unicorn97

My dads on a slightly above average salary. My mam doesn't work and isn't looking for work. as I'm 1/5 of the family can i not pay 1/5 of the bills? i rarely eat in the house also. I get a SUSI grant for college and pay for the buses and food and everything college related myself

Deagol

As I told my daughter....If you don't like it you can always move out and get your own place, that will surely save you a bundle of money!

Loveinapril

unicorn97 wrote: »

My dads on a slightly above average salary. My mam doesn't work and isn't looking for work. as I'm 1/5 of the family can i not pay 1/5 of the bills? i rarely eat in the house also. I get a SUSI grant for college and pay for the buses and food and everything college related myself

You are the third adult who can contribute to the household. It is called being responsible. As another poster said, check out houseshares in your area and add up all the bills. I bet it is way cheaper to stay at home!

unicorn97

unicorn97 wrote: »

My dads on a slightly above average salary. My mam doesn't work and isn't looking for work. as I'm 1/5 of the family can i not pay 1/5 of the bills?.............

If you were an only child would you want to pay 1/3?

This is simple, your parents reckon 1/3 of your take home is reasonable, folks on here agree, you don't - tough sh1t.

If you actually average 40 hours/week and only earn €1200/month your issue should be with either your employer or your old maths teacher.

LegacyUser

€400 is a lot for keep at 19. As long as you aren't in Dublin you could live elsewhere for far less than that - room in a shared house in a regional area could be less than 200 quid.

Also you say they enforce the one third saving and 1/3 to them. It's great they encourage you to save but the fact that they force this is worrying, if they want you to pay keep like an adult, they should keep out of your financial affairs and treat you like one.

Keep shouldn't be a percentage of your income as that is a disincentive to work hard. Why do overtime or cover a shift for a colleague if you have to hand over a good chunk!

I suggest that you show them what it would cost to move into a rented house with a few mates, point out that they are charging you over the odds (remember a landlord probably pays 42% tax on rental income - I sincerely doubt your folks declare what you pay!) and point out that paying a percentage isn't fair. Suggest a flat rate of 250-300/month.

If they counter with chat of free washing/food etc then point out anything you do e.g. Childcare for siblings etc. They will miss having you there if you do leave (and miss the cash) so as long as you are mature about discussing this they should come around to your point of view.

Best of luck

unicorn97

Augeo wrote: »

If you were an only child would you want to pay 1/3?

This is simple, your parents reckon 1/3 of your take home is reasonable, folks on here agree, you don't - tough sh1t.

If you actually average 40 hours/week and only earn €1200/month your issue should be with either your employer or your old maths teacher.

It's a rough estimation. Some weeks i could work 25 hours, and i've worked a lot more than 40 hours in a week before. monthly pay can be anywhere between 1000 and 1600 depending on time of year. Tax is also a wonderful thing.

bonyn

Hi op, not a teen here (and you're barely still one so stop thinking like one!) but here's my 2c worth.

I agree they're not doing you any favours. Eur400 tax-free into their pockets is a disgrace. Why are they doing that? Do they depend on your contribution to run the household? Or are they so well-off that they don't realise just how much you are giving them? (or do they genuinely spend a lot of money on you, like pay for your car insurance and holidays)

Personally, I'd rather spend 100% of my income for a bit of independence. If I could save a little, even better. I'd rather a landlord that charged me Eur100 a week market rate than one that gauged me for 33% of my income.

But, that's a pretty emotional decision. Ideally you should weight it up. Are there many advantages of living at home that you would lose by moving out?

Just a couple of points:
- when I was in college for a while my parents took money off me. I earned so little some weeks, and my dad was on so much money. Back then, my mother lied about how much my dad earned (a lot of poormouthing, while he stashed his cash in savings accounts), and also lied about how i wouldn't be able to manage if I moved out (in reality, I spent so much on buses and taxis I would have been better off renting in town). It really destroyed my confidence.
- A friend of mine gave a lot to his parents while he was at home because he had younger siblings in college. What happened? Well, his dad lost his job and the guy had to give even more. He had no quality of life for years thanks to his parents.

Put yourself first, op.

In my view, if you move out your living expenses will skyrocket, while your parent's income will take a hit of Eur5000 a year tax free (equivalent to Eur7000 if they had to earn that, less actual costs). I'm pretty sure you could come to a fairer arrangement.

A lot will depend too on your relationship with your parents, how they treat you, and also their reason for charging you so much in the first place.

edit: i only found your post from the front page.. I really don't think pre-teens and teens forum is the place for this post! Maybe PI

nhunter100

unicorn97 wrote:

It's a rough estimation. Some weeks i could work 25 hours, and i've worked a lot more than 40 hours in a week before. monthly pay can be anywhere between 1000 and 1600 depending on time of year. Tax is also a wonderful thing.

Sucks growing up and having to pay your way. You're folks are being reasonable. 400 a month for accommodation, food and utilities is excellent. However you can always move out of you feel aggrieved.

nhunter100

bonyn wrote:

I agree they're not doing you any favours. Eur400 tax-free into their pockets is a disgrace. Why are they doing that? Do they depend on your contribution to run the household? Or are they so well-off that they don't realise just how much you are giving them? (or do they genuinely spend a lot of money on you, like pay for your car insurance and holidays)

Really? 400 a month for accommodation food and utilities is a disgrace. It's called paying your way.

irishguy1983

unicorn97 wrote: »

I'm 19 (eldest sibling of 3), student and part time worker. I work mainly Thursday - Sunday in a bar, often at weddings, average 40+/- hours a week. I get paid monthly. My parents set a 1/3 savings, 1/3 spending money, 1/3 give them money policy in my house. This means I am expected to hand up around 400+ euro a month to my parents. Is this fair? i'm trying to save up for a car which is nearly impossible to do on top of day to day costs in my opinion. I've no problem helping my parents out financially but i feel 400 euro a month (5000 a year) is too steep? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

thank you

Seems a bit high to me but maybe your folks are struggling - you mentioned there are 3 kids in the house (I'm including you) and only your Dad works/Mum doesn't.

Maybe cash is a bit tight.

endacl

unicorn97 wrote: »

My dads on a slightly above average salary. My mam doesn't work and isn't looking for work. as I'm 1/5 of the family can i not pay 1/5 of the bills? i rarely eat in the house also. I get a SUSI grant for college and pay for the buses and food and everything college related myself

Good stuff. And you can cover all your bills?

You see, the way it works is, if you think you're paying too much, find an alternative. If it's cheaper, happy days. If you can't find anything cheaper, you're getting a sweet deal!

ct5amr2ig1nfhp

You are earning ~15k per year, you are receiving a student grant (full grant I would presume based on the info you have posed) and you live at home. Presumably when you say you pay tax, I would guess you pay less than 200 EUR in total for the year (which is all USC). If you're paying more in tax, you're doing something wrong.

400 per month seems very fair. I wish more parents would be as wise with their kids financial well being.

bonyn wrote: »

...
I agree they're not doing you any favours. Eur400 tax-free into their pockets is a disgrace. Why are they doing that?
...

Perhaps the OP's parents believe that they have a role in shaping their kids financial behaviour and attitude towards money? More parents should do the same.

unicorn97

Thanks for feedback everyone

myshirt

€400.00 is a good deal to be fair op.

I was sent on my bike at 16 and had to paddle my own canoe.

Personally however, with my kids if they were in college and trying to better themselves I wouldn't take anything. It's an uphill battle ahead for young people to compete with the type of economy your parents left you, and that they want you to pay for their financial crisis and the perks they enjoyed during that period.

But I accept you have to pay your way, so 400 is a good deal.

Mikefitzs

They're teaching you a real world lesson in living.
Personally I would say €50/week is fair at 19,, all depends on circumstances, maybe you're insured to drive their car? Only you know you're family situation and what your parents are like to live with. Stay as long as possible because at the end of the day if you get sick and have no income for a week or 2 your parents will surely look after you, a landlord won't give a duck if your sick or not!

You will pay 1/3 of your income on rent or mortgage, all this you'll learn in a few years time when you buy or rent a house and have a family of your own.
NEVER commit to paying more than this 1/3. You will never have a holiday. nice car, properly afford to bring up kids of your own or accumulate a good pension fund if you go over the 1/3 rule. BUT HEY- That's all bull if you finish college and get a really well paid job.
Average Joe will pay 1/3 for the roof over his head for 2/3's of his life, the 1/3 you don't pay is where you were last year (The Kid at school) that's the way it is.
It's easier financially when your partner/spouse work but when the kids come along it's money out everywhere.
I hope all works out, best of luck.

TheIrishGrover

unicorn97 wrote: »

I'm 19 (eldest sibling of 3), student and part time worker. I work mainly Thursday - Sunday in a bar, often at weddings, average 40+/- hours a week. I get paid monthly. My parents set a 1/3 savings, 1/3 spending money, 1/3 give them money policy in my house. This means I am expected to hand up around 400+ euro a month to my parents. Is this fair? i'm trying to save up for a car which is nearly impossible to do on top of day to day costs in my opinion. I've no problem helping my parents out financially but i feel 400 euro a month (5000 a year) is too steep? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

thank you

It's not your house, it's theirs. While 400 does seem a lot to you, you say there are 5 in the house with one wage. It's time to pay your way if you are in a position to do so. Bear in mind that 400 covers room, food, electricity, heating, TV, internet, laundry amongst everything else, I assume.

As some of the other posters below (Hilariously) said: You can always teach your folks a lesson and move out. That'll teach 'em. And how DARE they suggest you learn a valuable lesson such as saving!!! Inconsiderate b*&%$£ds.

You pull down 1200 a month "after tax" a month at 19 while living at home? PLUS getting a grant???!!! Pay up or move out

Lemsiper

unicorn97 wrote: »

It's a rough estimation. Some weeks i could work 25 hours, and i've worked a lot more than 40 hours in a week before. monthly pay can be anywhere between 1000 and 1600 depending on time of year. Tax is also a wonderful thing.

Full time student? You shouldn't be paying tax.

Sleeper12

We take money from our kids 22 & 24. They don't know it but it goes into 2 separate accounts. When they are ready to buy their own homes they'll get it back. We collect the money not because we need it but because they need to be in the habit of handing in up.

newacc2015

nhunter100 wrote: »

Really? 400 a month for accommodation food and utilities is a disgrace. It's called paying your way.

The other side is also having children is expensive. If you cant afford them in the first place, dont have them. Instead OPs parents are expecting their children to pay for them 'supporting them'. A lot of Americans and Germans would support their children until they finish College. Personally I dont think €400 is much for a college student to live on after transport and paying for meals etc.

With the amount of hours OP is working, I personally wouldnt be surprised if he graduates with a 2.2 or a third the fact he has to work so hard to get money that so much. The fact OP is working so much is alarming. He probably wouldnt if he didnt have to pay a third of his wage.

Yes there is the argument of OP "your now an adult, support your family etc" BS that everyone is on about. But your only priority should be to do as well as possible in college. That is not possible at 40 hours a week.

bonyn

Sleeper12 wrote: »

We take money from our kids 22 & 24. They don't know it but it goes into 2 separate accounts. When they are ready to buy their own homes they'll get it back. We collect the money not because we need it but because they need to be in the habit of handing in up.

The time for these games is up to the child being 15 or 16. Now, they're not kids. They're adults you're just treating like kids with this bank account in their name that they dont know about with funds earmarked solely for buying a house.
Look, you charge rent, and you don't need the money so you put it away from them. I get it. I'd love to find out someone did this for me, if there were no strings attached. Just be careful you're not inadvertently controlling them financially.

GrumpyMe

Lemsiper wrote: »

Full time student? You shouldn't be paying tax.

Why shouldn't he be paying tax?
If he earns income above his tax credits he'll be due to pay income tax!
Yet another of life's lessons!

TheChizler

I'd be more of the opinion that a set amount each month is more fair rather than 1/3. What you earn each month might vary but the cost of you living at home won't change much. I also don't think that saying it's a good deal compared to costs of renting is fair either. Landlords have to make profit (sometimes!), pay 42% tax and cover costs with that. Aside from wear and tear on the house, and presuming you do your own laundry and clean up after yourself, your parents have no such costs that they wouldn't be paying whether you were there or not. A good starting point for negotiation would be your fair share of food and utilities, plus a bit for any other costs.

I do agree though that it's a good idea to be in the habit of putting away that much every month, preferably in an account you don't have easy access to, and separate to your short term savings such as the car fund.

LegacyUser

unicorn97 wrote: »

I'm 19 (eldest sibling of 3), student and part time worker. I work mainly Thursday - Sunday in a bar, often at weddings, average 40+/- hours a week. I get paid monthly. My parents set a 1/3 savings, 1/3 spending money, 1/3 give them money policy in my house. This means I am expected to hand up around 400+ euro a month to my parents. Is this fair? i'm trying to save up for a car which is nearly impossible to do on top of day to day costs in my opinion. I've no problem helping my parents out financially but i feel 400 euro a month (5000 a year) is too steep? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

thank you

I'm sorry but €400 per month is absurd. They are your parents. You're being robbed. You can rent a room for that amount or less depending on where you live

muslimahkar

unicorn97 wrote: »

I'm 19 (eldest sibling of 3), student and part time worker. I work mainly Thursday - Sunday in a bar, often at weddings, average 40+/- hours a week. I get paid monthly. My parents set a 1/3 savings, 1/3 spending money, 1/3 give them money policy in my house. This means I am expected to hand up around 400+ euro a month to my parents. Is this fair? i'm trying to save up for a car which is nearly impossible to do on top of day to day costs in my opinion. I've no problem helping my parents out financially but i feel 400 euro a month (5000 a year) is too steep? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

thank you

400 a month is absurd. Especially if your parenta demand that much. My mother asks for €20 per week. Move out and rent a room.

muslimahkar

It costs around €5000 per year for accommodation in a college dorm.