Cheating on a hen weekend :(

spud82

Hey guys

We were on a hen weekend for the bank holiday in Galway for and one of my friends cheated on her boyfriend. I saw her kiss someone else, and it really annoyed me as her boyfriend is a good friend of mine too.

She said it was a drunken kiss and meant nothing,and she doesn't remember it and begged me not to tell. Obviously I won't.

I just feel so bad for him. Worst is as it was away from home and noone else saw bar me that knows them, means she'll get away with it. Why do people cheat on these hen weekends?? I just don't get it

Surreptitious

Dying for the ride after pink cocktails and inflatable penises.

The_Valeyard

Maybe best in the relationships forum.

I wouldnt get involved OP, just leave it be.

But yeah, its not cool, people do very silly things when extremely drunk (not that its an excuse or anything)

Allinall

spud82 wrote: »

Hey guys

We were on a hen weekend for the bank holiday in Galway for and one of my friends cheated on her boyfriend. I saw her kiss someone else, and it really annoyed me as her boyfriend is a good friend of mine too.

She said it was a drunken kiss and meant nothing,and she doesn't remember it and begged me not to tell. Obviously I won't.

I just feel so bad for him. Worst is as it was away from home and noone else saw bar me that knows them, means she'll get away with it. Why do people cheat on these hen weekends?? I just don't get it

I wouldn't call kissing cheating, even with tongues.

Gigiddy would be bad form though

spud82

Mods can this be moved?

failinis

Yeah I think this would be better in relationships fourm - but personally one drunken kiss is not enough to tell someone else about unless its the partner who done the kissing to tell them.

Birneybau

Sh1tty and all but only a snog.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

If it's a one-off, leave it. If there's a pattern developing, talk to the girl involved. Don't talk to the boyfriend unless there's a serious chance of the relationship being ****ed up.

drunkmonkey

Forget it happened, what goes on tour!!!

Not cool but nothing you can do about it without causing trouble.

Richard Hillman

Small country. Anybody know anyone that had a hen party in Galway over the weekend?

spud82

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Small country. Anybody know anyone that had a hen party in Galway over the weekend?

It was Gail Platt and Audrey shifted someone don't tell Ken

Keane2baMused

It's not your relationship to get involved in I'm afraid. Fair chance the lad wouldn't thank you for telling him. The messenger often gets the blame.

Fr_Dougal

It happens on stags too.

Worst place I've seen for it is the workplace. People think they're invisible at Xmas parties!

mdwexford

Dirty bitch, it's 100% cheating.

And you better believe she remembers.

spud82

Ya I won't tell as it's not my place and I don't want to be the messenger, I guess mistakes happen and she did seem remourseful. ill let her off this time but don't like people cheating as I've had it done to me and it broke my heart

Thoie

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

drunkmonkey

spud82 wrote: »

ill let her off this time but don't like people cheating as I've had it done to me and it broke my heart

That's cause you found out, don't go breaking anyone else's heart.

Ken.

spud82 wrote: »

Mods can this be moved?

Where. It can't be moved to personal or relationship issues as its too general for them forums.

andekwarhola

spud82 wrote: »

I guess mistakes happen and she did seem remourseful. ill let her off this time

Perhaps give her detention and leave it at that.

mdwexford

Mr.S wrote: »

Ah here, it's a kiss.

Are you in a relationship?

How would you feel in his position if you found out.

Also if she did this I imagine she could easily ride someone as well.

spud82

ken wrote: »

Where. It can't be moved to personal or relationship issues as its too general for them forums.

Wherever is most appropriate guys whatever you think is best.

Ken.

Mod-Moved to humanities. Please read the local charter before posting.

Burial.

Mr.S wrote: »

Ah here, it's a kiss.

Ah here, it's still cheating.

Letree

Kissing is cheating imo. I have ended relationships in the past over it. Ive never done it on anyone so won't tolerate it either.

liam7831

Bet she had one of those penis shaped straws in her glass drives the women wild they do

Pawwed Rig

Mr.S wrote: »

I am.

And I have been in said position, didn't phase me! I can fully relate and understand the stupid **** you get up to in drunken states

Are you saying that you are happy for your girlfriend to get rat arsed and play tongue tennis with any passing horn dog?

OP of course it is cheating and the girl has put you in a very difficult situation. Who are you closer to him or her? That should give you the answer.

cantdecide

I was in a bad relationship in the recent past. It all started with her admitting she kissed another guy at a college friend's wedding that I was unable to attend with her. I forgave her at the time and forgot about it. After another year and a half of all kinds of other events in the relationship, I began to think back and wish I had dumped her then. I know now it was a sign of the lack of respect she had for me.

Augme

I'd find it hard to believe this is the one and only time she has done it. People cheat for a reason unless that reason is fixed then most people cheat continuously. I'd have a very hard time staying good friends with this person, it will be difficult to have any respect for her anymore.

Hazydays123

Oh the humanities!!!

Hazydays123

People aren't perfect. Sometimes they make mistakes. Sometimes people die because of other people's mistakes. Nobody died as a result of this incident. So it's probably not worth you getting in their business.

If the relationship is worthwhile then she probably feels awful and will tell him in her own time.
If the relationship isn't worthwhile then it will fizzle out by itself.

I'm never a big fan of getting between two people in an intimate relationship. You don't ever truly understand their dynamic. You could tell on her indiscretions to him but they might decide to stay together anyway. Then you'll be on the receiving end of some severe frostiness from both of them.

mdwexford

Mr.S wrote: »

I am.

And I have been in said position, didn't phase me! I can fully relate and understand the stupid **** you get up to in drunken states

To each their own though, I wouldn't call a random drunken kiss cheating, but obviously others do. That said, if its a regular thing, that's a whole 'nudder story!

Really, wow it would crush me and I don't know if I'd ever have full trust back in her. It would be a massive betrayal.

I get very drunk often but I would never even consider kissing someone else.

SteM

Augme wrote: »

I'd find it hard to believe this is the one and only time she has done it. People cheat for a reason unless that reason is fixed then most people cheat continuously. I'd have a very hard time staying good friends with this person, it will be difficult to have any respect for her anymore.

Or sometimes people get ratarsed drunk and do something stupid that they regret and never repeat. Not every action has to have deep psychological reasons behind it.

Turtle_

Wow, how can anyone say kissing someone isn't cheating?! Of course it's cheating!

OP, I think if I was in your position I'd warn your friend that you won't tell him this time but if she does it again you'll be straight on to him about what she did. And I'd be inclined to say that if he or anyone else asks if anything happened you'll be honest.

It's not really your place to interfere, but you can't be expected to keep up the charade for her.

cantdecide

Hazydays123 wrote: »

If the relationship isn't worthwhile then it will fizzle out by itself.

Or... maybe she's just spinning her wheels in the relationship while he is completely invested and would be devastated. All is not fair in love and war sometimes.

The very least I'd be saying is warning the friend that you wish to never be party to her misbehaviour again. Personally, I'd supplement this with 'I'll never deny it happened if I'm asked'.

OnTheCouch

The problem about claiming that it is OK to kiss as long as it goes no further is that one is simply a later step on the same linear process in my opinion.

Pretty much every form of seduction follows the same sort of pattern, at least in our Western culture. First comes touching in let's say neutral areas like the shoulders and back. Then perhaps the touching may move to slightly more private areas, such as legs and face perhaps. A kiss would then follow this, followed by heavy petting and then eventually sexual intercourse.

In my opinion this is simply a step-by-step process and the reason these encounters often do not go the whole way is simply logistics, one person has to accompany a friend home, the other has no private space where they can be alone etc. I don't think many people think specifically before a night out "Right I'm going to kiss someone but that'll be it," once you go down that road you have blatantly cheated in my opinion and it's simply circumstances that ensure it goes no further. Possibly some people can stop themselves before things get too heavy, but if the attraction is there, it's hard to stop once you get start with the more intimate touching, especially when alcohol is involved.

So no sympathy from me here.

not yet

Sounds like the girl is Gamey to me..


In all seriousness, who here would continue a relationship with someone who kissed someone else on a weekend away, It's very rarely a one off. Can you imagine what would have happened if she was 10 years married and feeling ''unloved''...

Once your gamey it's a slippery road to a full blown gameyness..

Lisha

If I found out that my husband 'just kissed' someone else it would devastate me and kill any trust in the relationship.

Kissing is cheating, in my humble opinion.

Augme

SteM wrote: »

Or sometimes people get ratarsed drunk and do something stupid that they regret and never repeat. Not every action has to have deep psychological reasons behind it.

That's fairly rare though.

Keane2baMused

Augme wrote: »

That's fairly rare though.

I'd have thought cheating was a less common occurance than being faithful? Or maybe I'm being naive.

groucho marx

It is cheating for sure it is. Definitelyn not a good sign,I wouldn't swallow the I was drunk line if it was my significant other

SteM

Augme wrote: »

That's fairly rare though.

Do you have figures to back this up or are you just making random statements tonight? You've already stated that you don't think it was the first time or only time this person cheated without knowing anything about them.

Hazydays123

Lisha wrote: »

If I found out that my husband 'just kissed' someone else it would devastate me and kill any trust in the relationship.

Kissing is cheating, in my humble opinion.

I'd forgive my husband anything if he admitted it straight away and he sought forgiveness. But it sounds to me like we're not talking about profound and meaningful relationships here. Boys and girls in their 20s who do stupid things at nightclubs. I did it in my time (much worse even) and was forgiven. But then again I held my hands up and admitted my mistakes.

I really think the girl in question should fess up. She's a pretty ****ty person if she doesn't and it will only eat away at her to keep it hidden. But i'd never cross the line and tell the boyfriend. You rarely get thanked for these things. People are complicated like that.

The Bishop Basher

If you don't want you partner to know about it..

It's cheating..

Augme

Keane2baMused wrote: »

I'd have thought cheating was a less common occurance than being faithful? Or maybe I'm being naive.

I'm not talking about the cheating.

SteM wrote: »

Do you have figures to back this up or are you just making random statements tonight? You've already stated that you don't think it was the first time or only time this person cheated without knowing anything about them.

Dont be stupid, of course I don't have figures to back it up. Not every statement needs to have statistics to back it up.

SteM

Augme wrote: »

Dont be stupid, of course I don't have figures to back it up.

Yeah, didn't think so alright.

jackofalltrades

SteM wrote: »

Or sometimes people get ratarsed drunk and do something stupid that they regret and never repeat. Not every action has to have deep psychological reasons behind it.

But in this case I'm guessing that the girl in question was being chatted up by the guy before he kissed her.
So she may have been drunk, but she was sober enough to give him enough signals that he decided to kiss her.
That's cheating in my book.

SteM

jackofalltrades wrote: »

But in this case I'm guessing that the girl in question was being chatted up by the guy before he kissed her.
So she may have been drunk, but she was sober enough to give him enough signals that he decided to kiss her.
That's cheating in my book.

I never said it wasn't cheating. I was replying to a comment by another poster who suggested that this person had cheated before and will again without and way of backing their accusations up.

GuessWhoEh

If I was the guy, I'd want to know. But I'm saying this from a woman's perspective. You can always ignore it. She begged not to tell. Respect her wishes. Happen again, and speak to her.

marienbad

mind your own business .

This is on a linear continuum of 'cheating' alright.

Somewhere between taking the last yoplait and a full-blown affair.

Lot closer to the yoplait end. Drunken snog on tour. Little harm done. Granted she woudnt want him knowing, probably why these things happen on tour.

Regardless, best advice is mind your business imo. Nothing to do with you if he's no relation.

Labarbapostiza

Maybe the op is jealous.

Did the op get a shift in Galway?