Cash requests with wedding invitations

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Just been reading this article about a bride and groom in the UK who wrote to a guest who had given them a gift of a cheque for £100, and basically told her it wasn't as much as they'd expected and would she like to reconsider the amount.

Just wondering, in general, how posters feel about wedding invitations that explicitly ask for cash donations towards the honeymoon instead of a present? I usually give a gift cheque if I'm going to a wedding, as it's far easier than traipsing around the shops trying to second guess what the couple need/like. But I think specific requests for money (often complete with bank account details) are rude and crass.

http://metro.co.uk/2016/05/10/outrage-over-wedding-gift-that-wasnt-generous-enough-5873468/

The Sidewards Man

If people want to make a profit out of a wedding big deal, get over it is what I say.

howamidifferent

Ira Little Band wrote: »

Just been reading this article about a bride and groom in the UK who wrote to a guest who had given the a gift of a cheque for £100, and basically told her it wasn't as much as they'd expected and would she like to reconsider the amount.

Just wondering, in general, how posters feel about wedding invitations that explicitly ask for cash donations towards the honeymoon instead of a present? I usually give a gift cheque if I'm going to a wedding, as it's far easier than traipsing around the shops trying to second guess what the couple need/like. But I think specific requests for money (often complete with bank account details) are rude and crass.

http://metro.co.uk/2016/05/10/outrage-over-wedding-gift-that-wasnt-generous-enough-5873468/

I'd be cancelling that cheque in double quick time. :mad:

Baggy Trousers

No trash, just cash!

valoren

Nothing spells romance more than treating your wedding day as a business transaction.

jayo26

I dont see how it would be more rude then doing a gift present list.

Some couples depend on cash presents to finish paying off there wedding bills or indeed pay for a honeymoon it would be pretty hard to actually make money out of a wedding unless a parent is paying for it.

I would much prefer to know that whatever I did give them would be more helpful then a few wedding frames or something stupid that they will leave in the corner of a room.

seamus

I don't see an issue with a couple requesting cash, but demanding or even suggesting an amount is pretty trashy.

Unfortunately weddings (and births and funerals) have a tendency to reveal the inner narcissist in many people who otherwise manage to keep it stowed away the rest of the time.

stoplooklisten

I've stopped giving cash. Weddings are so over rated. Same old crap different day.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

jayo26 wrote: »

I dont see how it would be more rude then doing a gift present list.

Some couples depend on cash presents to finish paying off there wedding bills or indeed pay for a honeymoon it would be pretty hard to actually make money out of a wedding unless a parent is paying for it.

I would much prefer to know that whatever I did give them would be more helpful then a few wedding frames or something stupid that they will leave in the corner of a room.

Why not just have a wedding and honeymoon you can afford? That's what people did years ago. They didn't expect the guests to make up the shortfall.

The_Valeyard

stoplooklisten wrote: »

I've stopped giving cash. Weddings are so over rated. Same old crap different day.

That's you off the guest list then.

Baggy Trousers

stoplooklisten wrote: »

I've stopped giving cash. Weddings are so over rated. Same old crap different day.

They're worse than that!

Avatar MIA

Lovely couple. At least they wont have to fight over who owns what present when the divorce is finalised.

FTA69

Sh*te in a bag and post it back to her first class.

jester77

I'd be more pissed that someone would give a cheque, who gives a cheque in 2016. Haven't seen a cheque in over 15 years

Atlantic Dawn

I always give cash but if I was asked for cash in the invitation they would get the finest horrible looking brown coloured toaster that same money would buy.

smash

"We want a flashy wedding and we want you to pay for it!"

stoplooklisten

The_Valeyard wrote: »

That's you off the guest list then.

good! I have enough of candy carts and photobooths.

grummpy grumpy

5rtytry56

"In case YOU were thinking, this is no ordinary "BLINGY"/ TINSELTOWN WEDDING! ""

I wouldn't go to a wedding where I was being charged admission. You're not a guest, you're a customer.

stoplooklisten

We'd love you to join us on our day,
All that we ask is that you pay,
Really if we had our way,
you wouldn't come but still pay

Shawn Michaels

That was in incredibly bad taste. Wedding lists are things of the past as a lot of people "have everything".

Personally, I believe in staying silent on the issue, but letting the mothers know that if they're asked, "they have pretty much everything...".

irishgirl19

Dont like the idea of people requesting cash (not even if they use one of those cheesy/cheeky poems asking) 90% give cash anyway!

5rtytry56

"My BIG FAT SLUSH-FUND wedding"

Sofiztikated

I can't get over the cheek of yer wan though, "Eh, c'mere, you didn't give enough, stump up!"

Uriel.

I see cash requests the same as I see gift lists... Vulgar.

Wedding day... Invite the people you want to share the day with, and forget about gifts. If you can't afford the wedding,save more or cut things out.

wally1990

I'm getting married in 2018 and NOT a HOPE would I ask for cash. Whatever people give they give and I be happy to see all family and friends honestly

I've saved and anything I make in return is a benefit

Hate these people who demand cash and give out about low amounts as gifts

Takes away from the whole day

stoplooklisten

Cash for weddings is really crass,
For people out there eating grass,
Come with me and share my day,
I'l upgrade it to bales of hay

harr

Always give cash, but as poster said above if they asked for cash they would get a gift about have the value of the cash I was going to give...
If you can't afford your wedding cut back and have one within your means...was invited to wedding last year where the gift list was from brown Thomas and nothing under 200 quid on it....that couple got a small cash gift...normally I am generous enough with wedding gifts...

Avatar MIA

harr wrote: »

Always give cash, but as poster said above if they asked for cash they would get a gift about have the value of the cash I was going to give...
If you can't afford your wedding cut back and have one within your means...was invited to wedding last year where the gift list was from brown Thomas and nothing under 200 quid on it....that couple got a small cash gift...normally I am generous enough with wedding gifts...

That's a strange mentality as well. The, I'd give them a smaller gift mentality. Who are these people that you're going to their wedding?

If I didn't think that much of them I'd not bother going. I've better things to be doing than going and playing silly buggers.

Going to a wedding with a specified amount of cash requested is like paying out for a days entertainment that you have no say in, a wedding service that will bore you to tears, a meal you don't get to choose, a duration you're probably not comfortable with, in a venue you'd rather not drive for hours to, in an outfit you probably didn't want to have to buy, but with no right to complain to the management when it all turns out to be incredibly disappointing.

smash

Candie wrote: »

Going to a wedding with a specified amount of cash requested is like paying out for a days entertainment that you have no say in, a wedding service that will bore you to tears, a meal you don't get to choose, a duration you're probably not comfortable with, in a venue you'd rather not drive for hours to, in an outfit you probably didn't want to have to buy, but with no right to complain to the management when it all turns out to be incredibly disappointing.

And you're not even guaranteed the ride!

freshpopcorn

My family would always give cash to couples getting married. If we knew somebody might want something we might get that gut apart from that I generally would avoid presents. The amount of times I've heard of people buying these lovely vases/glasses for couples which they feel a suited/unique and couple are left with a hideous lump.
However I don't think people should really request cash or ask for more money after the wedding.

HalloweenJack

Money is an expected wedding gift here in Spain. The lowest figure is 50 but 100 per adult guest is the standard.

Was at a wedding here a few weeks back. The bride was my GF's friend and told her that her mother had said she should make a list of all the people who attended the wedding and then add beside each name the amount they gave. She should then treat people according to how much or how little money they gave her. In fairness, the bride told her mother to **** off but it is an insight into how some people see weddings and how much importance some people put on the gifting side of it.

uck51js9zml2yt

I read the thread on mumsnet .
The bride cashed the cheque before emailing the guest.
Her reply by email asked if the bride had made a mistake in emailing her!

harr

Avatar MIA wrote: »

That's a strange mentality as well. The, I'd give them a smaller gift mentality. Who are these people that you're going to their wedding?

If I didn't think that much of them I'd not bother going. I've better things to be doing than going and playing silly buggers.

I would rather be invited to a wedding because the bride and groom want you at the wedding not being invited because it's another 200 euro for the honeymoon spends or to pay off a flash wedding.

wokingvoter

smash wrote: »

"We want a flashy wedding and we want you to pay for it!"

.....and for the next 5 or 6 years you have to repeatedly reassure us that our wedding was the best one you've ever been too...

oppenheimer1

Enoch Panicky Watchdog wrote: »

I read the thread on mumsnet .
The bride cashed the cheque before emailing the guest.
Her reply by email asked if the bride had made a mistake in emailing her!

I don't actually believe that Mumsnet story is genuine tbh.

steddyeddy

Candie wrote: »

Going to a wedding with a specified amount of cash requested is like paying out for a days entertainment that you have no say in, a wedding service that will bore you to tears, a meal you don't get to choose, a duration you're probably not comfortable with, in a venue you'd rather not drive for hours to, in an outfit you probably didn't want to have to buy, but with no right to complain to the management when it all turns out to be incredibly disappointing.

Candle I didn't think you had it in you. Completely agree.

ToddyDoody

Ira Little Band wrote: »

Just been reading this article about a bride and groom in the UK who wrote to a guest who had given them a gift of a cheque for £100, and basically told her it wasn't as much as they'd expected and would she like to reconsider the amount.

£120

With compliments.

maudgonner

Candie wrote: »

Going to a wedding with a specified amount of cash requested is like paying out for a days entertainment that you have no say in, a wedding service that will bore you to tears, a meal you don't get to choose, a duration you're probably not comfortable with, in a venue you'd rather not drive for hours to, in an outfit you probably didn't want to have to buy, but with no right to complain to the management when it all turns out to be incredibly disappointing.

Wouldn't it be great if you could give feedback? Go up to the happy couple at the end of the night and ask if you could get your envelope back for a second - "I just want to take a tenner back, 'cause the meal was cold and the bride's dress really doesn't come up to the standard I'd expect for what I paid"

MarkAnthony

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

I don't actually believe that Mumsnet story is genuine tbh.

Trolling, on an online forum? Get away!

That's a work of art if it is tbh.

bnt

You folks complaining about giving cash have clearly never been to a wedding in some parts of Europe. About 10y ago a Portuguese work colleague of mine got married in Portugal, and I went over there to represent the office. I'd Googled the topic beforehand, and an envelope full of cash seemed to be the standard wedding gift there, so I took one over with contributions from the office, €50 each. I was somewhat prepared to be wrong, but after the dessert at the recepttion, the bride went around the room with a big basket. It was soon piled high with envelopes full of cash, so much that she had trouble carrying them all.

SEPT 23 1989

We asked for nothing and expected nothing people gave cards with cash didn't matter how much was in them once they were there and celebrated our day with us that's all that really matters

irishmoss

Uriel. wrote: »

Wedding day... Invite the people you want to share the day with, and forget about gifts. If you can't afford the wedding,save more or cut things out.

Totally agree with this.

The other "group" of people who annoy me more are those that go abroad by themselves or with a small party (nothing wrong with this ) but then they come back and throw a s****y party and expect a gift. What's that all about ?

bnt

Following on from my Portugal story above: at no point did I feel I was "paying for the wedding reception". The gifts were to help the bride and groom, their future life together, house, kids, and so on. Some seriously parochial attitudes in this thread, folks who need to see more of the world! Not that I would have objected to a bit of that: the food was great, and the Vinho Verde flowed like, well, wine.

stoplooklisten

bnt wrote: »

Following on from my Portugal story above: at no point did I feel I was "paying for the wedding reception". The gifts were to help the bride and groom, their future life together, house, kids, and so on. Some seriously parochial attitudes in this thread, folks who need to see more of the world! Not that I would have objected to a bit of that: the food was great, and the Vinho Verde flowed like, well, wine.

If the bride and groom start keeping the german traditional of and open bar, then I'll think about their portugese traditions.

goz83

jester77 wrote: »

I'd be more pissed that someone would give a cheque, who gives a cheque in 2016. Haven't seen a cheque in over 15 years

If someone wants to put a price tag on their wedding, I will decide I don't want to buy. Asked for nothing at our wedding. All gifts of cash and other stuff were kindly received, but the people who attended made the day, not their gifts.

oppenheimer1

MarkAnthony wrote: »

Trolling, on an online forum? Get away!

That's a work of art if it is tbh.

Outrageous but still somewhat believable.

Trolling indeed at its finest.

JupiterKid

Most wedding guests these days give cash gifts but to demand a cash gift and for that gift to be of a certain amount is downright nasty, greedy and trashy.

If you can't afford a super lavish wedding where you expect the "guests" to pay for it then don't have one!

Shawn Michaels

We had a funny one with my wife's boss. She gave us a voucher for €20. Given the context, that was odd, but we just forgot about it. But subsequently, she made a point of saying to my wife that she had tried to put some thought into what to give us, but had given up and taken the easy way out. She suggested that we'd be better off picking a gift ourselves. Obviously awkward to say something, but my wife sensed something wasn't quite right and said "eh, the voucher was for €20. Her boss was shocked and said the voucher had meant to be for €500! Her niece had passed a minor exam and the vouchers had been mixed up! The niece had called her almost in tears thanking her! She gave us €480 despite our protestations.

wokingvoter

Shawn Michaels wrote: »

We had a funny one with my wife's boss. She gave us a voucher for €20. Given the context, that was odd, but we just forgot about it. But subsequently, she made a point of saying to my wife that she had tried to put some thought into what to give us, but had given up and taken the easy way out. She suggested that we'd be better off picking a gift ourselves. Obviously awkward to say something, but my wife sensed something wasn't quite right and said "eh, the voucher was for €20. Her boss was shocked and said the voucher had meant to be for €500! Her niece had passed a minor exam and the vouchers had been mixed up! The niece had called her almost in tears thanking her! She gave us €480 despite our protestations.

How excruciating for the boss! The mortification! And for you too! How easily these things can happen.