Is it rude to demand that passengers in a car not talk when your driving?

andekwarhola

Chickarooney wrote: »

You don't like listening to music with anyone else?

I know it's strange, I just find it rude. I'd never put it on with others in the car unless it was like, let's all listen to some tunes.

Wait a minute, are you my wife?

_Kaiser_

andekwarhola wrote: »

I know it's strange, I just find it rude. I'd never put it on with others in the car unless it was like, let's all listen to some tunes.

Wait a minute, are you my wife?

It only bugs me when they progress from listening to actively changing the channel/track themselves or adjusting the climate control settings.

Boundaries people!

fatknacker

Maybe you just need a bit more experience behind the wheel. I'm sure you're a good driver, but acquiring driving skills should make it feel like second nature, so you don't have to concentrate the entire time. It must be mentally exhausting for you after each trip.
Maybe try building up confidence by relaxing a little more. Put on some music you really enjoy at low volume to start out with.
And pull your seat back a little. If you're hunched up next to the wheel it will be near impossible to be relaxed and comfortable.

Stealthfins

Buy some Rock ballad CD to drive to and before you know it you'll be singing firestarter like Keith Flint.

failinis

I am only driving 4 years now, and I don't mind the radio on if its not deafening and I can chat to people.
But if I am looking at a junction/round a bout or trying to see which lane/turn to take then I do stop talking.

I am more distracted if a person is jumping all over the place in the car and waving arms about (any drunk friend when I am designated driver). Does my ****ing head in.

hardCopy

I forbid my passengers to sleep. Their job is to engage me in interesting conversation and keep me awake.

I usually listen to talk radio when I'm driving alone. Motorways are boring and dosing off is a very real danger.

Rubberlegs

If I'm driving alone it's more often than not in total silence. It's more to do with the need for a bit of quiet time than anything else. If someone is in the car I'll have the radio on, and chat, but I hate mindless jabbering, or anyone attempting to fidget at CDs etc. Like some other posters have said, I'll go quiet/ turn the music down if negotiating a tricky junction or in a situation where extra attention is needed.

looksee

I like to listen to 'easy' audio books - the kind that if you miss a bit it doesn't really matter - I find I automatically tune out at roundabouts or junctions, whether the story or in a conversation.

Fox_In_Socks

Sometimes, I like to post on boards.ie when I'm dri

Ah-Watch

When I used drive from North Tipp to college in Waterford I would have had a car full of lads, I did the driving, they could chat or listen to music, I concentrated on the road itself so everyone knew that there'd be little conversation from me but they listened to music among themselves and whatnot. This was before the M9 opened and since. The talking can be a help though because if the car is silent some people nod off, I would imagine music and them talking would kill the boredom and can also keep you alert to an extent too. I would not like to be in a car the whole way Dublin to Galway in silence. Its okay if you want to concentrate but if you can't take noise in the background etc then I'm sitting on the fence whether you should be driving

Maybe you need more practice driving even with the radio on down low and build from there

2RockMountain

To hell with the begrudgers, OP. Yes, it's unusual, but if that's what you need, then take it. Warn the passengers in advance, they can listen to their own music on earphones if they like, or work on their phones or whatever. If they don't fancy that, they can take the train.

Honestly, it is probably a practice / confidence thing, and if you do ever plan on having a family, it might be something that you'd like to work on. In the meantime, post 14 in the thread got it right.

I'd never be a passenger in a car where the drive can't talk. I'd rather a drunk capable driver to be honest.

Samaris

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd never be a passenger in a car where the drive can't talk. I'd rather a drunk capable driver to be honest.

I wouldn't, I'd feel a capable driver is one that knows their limits and is more concerned with getting us all there safely than helping to entertain me. If the driver wants to focus, grand, I'll shut up and entertain myself on my phone or whatever.

DeVore

talking to the driver is proven to be about the same as three pints in terms of reliability of driving. I wouldn't find it rude if you asked me not to talk to you at junctions... when its a dead straight motor way perhaps it might be considered weird but no, town-driving is tricky enough without someone yakking in your ear.

Charles Babbage

The driver should be able to chat a bit, but some passengers just do not know when to stop, demanding answers in seconds when you are going through the Mad Cow. These people are a danger.

meeeeh

hardCopy wrote: »

I usually listen to talk radio when I'm driving alone. Motorways are boring and dosing off is a very real danger.

Yes I could fall asleep on motorway or start speeding without radio. But it also depends in what condition other passengers are. If they are drunk or kids I prefer them to be quiet because sooner or later they manage to rile me up with something.

I can tune out radio fairly well so that stays on all the time when alone in the car.

mickrock

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

If you can't drive on a motorway (or any road) without being able to talk or have a radio/music on then you shouldn't be driving IMO

I do a lot of driving and always have either the news or music on, or I'll be talking to someone in the car or on the handsfree kit.

Equally, if you can't drive on a motorway (or any road) without the need for incessant noise and distraction then you shouldn't be driving IMO.

A bit of peace and quiet is very underrated.

Wibbs

DeVore wrote: »

talking to the driver is proven to be about the same as three pints in terms of reliability of driving.

Really D? :eek: Jaysus I must be some lightweight when it comes to pints then. On three pints behind the wheel I'd be a danger to shipping on the high seas, but you could yammer away to me at your hearts content and I'd be fine. If anything light conversation would keep me alert, particularly on long boring motorway driving. And TBH I'd be pretty defensive a driver, even though I've been at it officially since the mid 80's.

That might be much of it though. I'd probably have close to three quarters of a million miles under my belt now so it's pretty much reflex at this stage, or at least the average driving stuff is(though reflex brings it's own issues, complacency being the danger).

I do remember when I first started driving my concentration levels required fully engaging what passes for my brain. And the Fear was high. A busy crossroads could have me requiring wipe down seats if the radio was on. In the early days my dad directed me to the Walkinstown roundabout in south Dublin to see how I'd deal with it and upon seeing it from behind the wheel for the first time, patricide and walking home were very high on my options list.

One thing that does bork my driving brain is talking on the phone. I don't mean the illegal kind, I mean the bluetooth carphone kind. I tried it when it first came out and nope. For whatever reason and for whatever pathway in my brain it uses, I actually would be "safer" off my head on drink, or LSD. Near complete shutdown of anything but concentrating on the disembodied voice.

*EDIT* even something as normal to most like talking on the phone with either ear throws me. I have to use my right ear to phone. If I use my left ear the other person may as well be speaking in vulgate Latin. I will get the general gist of it, but I have to concentrate really bloody hard and will likely forget the details if present. I'm wired arseways mind you.

I think it's rude to demand it, but not unreasonable to ask it. Passengers can always use earphones to listen to music or radio on long journeys.

I wouldn't be keen on being your passenger if you're so easily distracted though.

jimgoose

I am the man who grabs the sun, while riding to Valhalla! Witness me, Blood-Bag. Witness!!

SEPT 23 1989

A long long time ago the driver turned off the music because the tripping got so bad they couldn't focus on the road

meeeeh

mickrock wrote: »

Equally, if you can't drive on a motorway (or any road) without the need for incessant noise and distraction then you shouldn't be driving IMO.

A bit of peace and quiet is very underrated.

A bit of peace and quiet is very underrated if you are doing it for half an hour. Try doing that for a few hours on empty motorways especially at night and it's different story.

freshpopcorn

My advice would be to ring around a few driving instructors and explain your situation. Lots of people like having their car quiet when there parking the car or driving on the M50 for their first few times.
However once these people are out of these situations they can talk to people and listen to the radio. Out of interest what do you do when you've driving at rush hour or the traffic begin to slow for no obvious reason do you sit in the car or do you turn on the radio and try and find an AA report or something on a local radio stations about their traffic problem/ways around it!

hardCopy

Wibbs wrote: »

Really D? :eek: Jaysus I must be some lightweight when it comes to pints then. On three pints behind the wheel I'd be a danger to shipping on the high seas, but you could yammer away to me at your hearts content and I'd be fine. If anything light conversation would keep me alert, particularly on long boring motorway driving. And TBH I'd be pretty defensive a driver, even though I've been at it officially since the mid 80's.

That might be much of it though. I'd probably have close to three quarters of a million miles under my belt now so it's pretty much reflex at this stage, or at least the average driving stuff is(though reflex brings it's own issues, complacency being the danger).

I do remember when I first started driving my concentration levels required fully engaging what passes for my brain. And the Fear was high. A busy crossroads could have me requiring wipe down seats if the radio was on. In the early days my dad directed me to the Walkinstown roundabout in south Dublin to see how I'd deal with it and upon seeing it from behind the wheel for the first time, patricide and walking home were very high on my options list.

One thing that does bork my driving brain is talking on the phone. I don't mean the illegal kind, I mean the bluetooth carphone kind. I tried it when it first came out and nope. For whatever reason and for whatever pathway in my brain it uses, I actually would be "safer" off my head on drink, or LSD. Near complete shutdown of anything but concentrating on the disembodied voice.

*EDIT* even something as normal to most like talking on the phone with either ear throws me. I have to use my right ear to phone. If I use my left ear the other person may as well be speaking in vulgate Latin. I will get the general gist of it, but I have to concentrate really bloody hard and will likely forget the details if present. I'm wired arseways mind you.

I definitely can't pay the same attention to the road when Bluetoothing that I would if talking to a passenger. I won't take calls unless I'm on a stretch of open road even with a legal and decent Bluetooth setup.

Lia_lia

That seems a bit mental. I used not turn on the radio/not talk to people when I started driving but was grand after about 4 months. Only time I ever turn off the music off now is if I need to concentrate on parallel parking. After a few years you'd think you'd be able for it..

foggy_lad

I could never drive with passengers making loads of noise or singing/shouting or that bloody awful screeeeeeching that modern teens do. I have often given the option of shutting up or getting out. I would always chat away with people a small bit but not long winded conversations as my mind would be on the driving.

Samaris

Samaris wrote: »

I wouldn't, I'd feel a capable driver is one that knows their limits and is more concerned with getting us all there safely than helping to entertain me. If the driver wants to focus, grand, I'll shut up and entertain myself on my phone or whatever.

It's not about entertaining.. Having to concentrate on every move of the hands or feet isn't a limit. It's just a sign that a person is either a beginner or has never taken to driving.

I've never met anyone who can't talk while driving. It would scare the shlt out of me to be in a car with a person who couldn't do it.

Cee-Jay-Cee

The Dublin to Galway road is mainly dual carriageway for quite a bit of the way and wide two way carriageway for the other parts. If you are unable to drive on a wide open relatively straight road without being able to talk or even listen to the radio then you really shouldn't be driving.

blueser

Terrlock wrote: »

If your that easily distracted or nervous from driving then I wouldn't want to get into a car at all with you.

Is the correct answer.

Buona Fortuna

Doesn't bother me OP, radio or chatter, but I will "zone out" when something needs to be done.

So conversation is OK, but not something deep and meaningful.