Alan Partridge Superthread - Sponsored by Dettol

thecretinhop

in the movie when alan asks micheal where do you go yo the toilet
"i shat in the lunch box alan!"

paddylonglegs

Heathcliff, PANG!

Ipso

Mike Litoris wrote: »

An ecstasy pellet! I thought Scissored Isle was the best of the recent Partridge. Any time there's reference to 9/11 in the media I cannot help but think of "The 9/11 debacle" and chuckle away to myself.


The only thing I felt slightly let down by was the movie.

Don’t forget he got the pellet at mates rates; 70 knocked down from 120.

artvanderlay

Bouncing Back-era Alan

Chapter 1: Beginnings
" 'Congratulations Mrs. Partridge, it's a boy.' said the doctor, handing me, a boy, to my mother. I had just been born."


I love how the computer asking the questions during the interview, Digital Dave (a Stephen Hawking soundalike), alternates between asking very random questions with highly personal ones, and Alan doesn't bat an eyelid. First question out of the box: "how long did it take, after your wife left you, for your divorce to come through?", followed by:

"what do you think of American football?"

"is your wife still with the man she left you for?"

:):)

artvanderlay

I remember watching this when it was first shown on BBC2, and going into increasingly hysterical convulsions at Alan's facial expressions during the final credits (at 0:52). I slid from the couch onto the floor, crying with laughing, struggling to breathe, and my wife, who had never seen Partridge before, thought I was dying or had lost my mind. It's still hysterical! :pac:

IamtheWalrus

artvanderlay wrote: »

I remember watching this when it was first shown on BBC2, and going into increasingly hysterical convulsions at Alan's facial expressions during the final credits (at 0:52). I slid from the couch onto the floor, crying with laughing, struggling to breathe, and my wife, who had never seen Partridge before, thought I was dying or had lost my mind. It's still hysterical! :pac:

Your story reminds me of my first time watching the Dan episode when Dan makes the orthopaedic shoes joke. It was a Sunday night alone in bed after a very heavy weekend of drinking, I was very anxious and very afraid. I wasn't sure what orthopaedic meant but based on the joke I kind of guessed what it meant and I was laughing wondering if it meant what I guessed it meant. I paused the show and googled orthopaedic and when my guess was confirmed, I was almost buckled over in laughter, with my anxious mind, I was wondering I would ever stop laughing and in fear I suppressed it as much as I could, unsuccessfully. I really thought something bad would happen. Needles to say, I was fine. Good times.

Big Vern

Quick tip for yourself: if you’re ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say “My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I’m late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said ‘I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.’ Straight away you’ve got them by the jaffas.”

artvanderlay

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Your story reminds me of my first time watching the Dan episode when Dan makes the orthopaedic shoes joke. It was a Sunday night alone in bed after a very heavy weekend of drinking, I was very anxious and very afraid. I wasn't sure what orthopaedic meant but based on the joke I kind of guessed what it meant and I was laughing wondering if it meant what I guessed it meant. I paused the show and googled orthopaedic and when my guess was confirmed, I was almost buckled over in laughter, with my anxious mind, I was wondering I would ever stop laughing and in fear I suppressed it as much as I could, unsuccessfully. I really thought something bad would happen. Needles to say, I was fine. Good times.

I can't say "I stand corrected" anymore without adding "...said the man in the orthopaedic shoes"! Alan has ruined that expression for me :pac:

The most quoted lines are definitely from the Coogan/Iannucci/Peter Baynham era (I'm Alan Partridge, series 1 & 2). Get those three back together with or without the Gibbons brothers and we could have some great Alan again.

artvanderlay

Alan: That was Roxanne, by the Police or as they’re now known, Sting. A song there about a prostitute. Doesn’t say what her surname is. Must give her a call sometime. Although the effects of 23 years on the game, would not render her pleasurable to mine eye.

Realt Dearg Sec

artvanderlay wrote: »

I can't say "I stand corrected" anymore without adding "...said the man in the orthopaedic shoes"! Alan has ruined that expression for me :pac:

Yeah I'm the same, drives my wife mental. She also doesn't want to be part of my sex festival.

Ipso

Alan: Anyway, happy Valentines day, how are you?
Susan: Oh I’m a bit tired. I need my beauty sleep.
Alan: You don’t need beauty sleep. Well, forty winks. Did you get the chocolate orange?
Susan: Yes, thank you.
Alan: Good. You might find some superficial to the box, but the chocolate is perfectly edible. I give them to all ladies I know aged fifty and under. Over fifty just seems sarcastic.
Susan: Well, I’m afraid I need to watch my figure.
Alan: I’ll watch it for you! Through my little binoculars, whooo! Mind you I can’t talk. I’ve got a fat back.
Susan: What’s that?
Alan: It’s a build-up of fatty deposits, just above the belt line. It’s fairly well concealed in casual clothing, but you don’t want to see me in my underpants!

Ipso

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Your story reminds me of my first time watching the Dan episode when Dan makes the orthopaedic shoes joke. It was a Sunday night alone in bed after a very heavy weekend of drinking, I was very anxious and very afraid. I wasn't sure what orthopaedic meant but based on the joke I kind of guessed what it meant and I was laughing wondering if it meant what I guessed it meant. I paused the show and googled orthopaedic and when my guess was confirmed, I was almost buckled over in laughter, with my anxious mind, I was wondering I would ever stop laughing and in fear I suppressed it as much as I could, unsuccessfully. I really thought something bad would happen. Needles to say, I was fine. Good times.

All that story is missing is a drive to Dundee in your bare feet.

.red.

Just watching Scissored Isle again, I'd forgotten how funny it is.

Pop pop pop pop,
Alan
"cease fire, cease fire"
Security guard
"It's just the bubble wrap"

Dog Man Star

Can we come live from the Blarney Stone? I'm trying to get an angle on this.

mloc123

.red. wrote: »

Just watching Scissored Isle again, I'd forgotten how funny it is.

Pop pop pop pop,
Alan
"cease fire, cease fire"
Security guard
"It's just the bubble wrap"

The scene where he is arguing with the salesman about the 4x4 transmission in the range rover followed by his voiceover to correct himself gets me.

Thargor

Skip to 00:19 for Alans play about Professor Hannigan:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5a24i3

I cry laughing every time I hear it.

Ipso

Now listeners, I have someone on the line who fears he may be a gay. He’s married, so he wishes to remain anonymous. I shall only be using his Christian name. I’m talking to Domingo in Little Oakley. No? He’s gone. That’s a pity. Marvellous little tapas bar there

artvanderlay

Ipso wrote: »

Now listeners, I have someone on the line who fears he may be a gay. He’s married, so he wishes to remain anonymous. I shall only be using his Christian name. I’m talking to Domingo in Little Oakley. No? He’s gone. That’s a pity. Marvellous little tapas bar there

One of the best Alan bits ever. I love the way you can hear Domingo hang up so quickly, in a panic, when Alan says his name and location


This is what I mean...the truly great, much quoted Alan stuff is all from I'm Alan Partridge...get Iannucci and Baynham back writing!

Welsh Megaman

How would you like to be disposed of, when you’re dead? We’re taking letters and emails on that tonight, starting with a letter from Mike who’s 24. He’d like to be buried in a large satin-lined coffin, with a couple of Page Three stunners. They’re alive, he says…I’m not reading that out.

artvanderlay

This is from the book Nomad, Alan's follow up to I, Partridge. I thought Nomad was quite poor and repetitive compared to the masterpiece that is I, Partridge, but there are some great bits in it. This clip is Alan (and his mother) speculating on the real relationship between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson :pac:



From 1:55:10 on to 1:57:00

Mike Litoris

Meat paste, double thick.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4_-cPdl5B0

De Bhál

artvanderlay wrote: »

This is from the book Nomad, Alan's follow up to I, Partridge. I thought Nomad was quite poor and repetitive compared to the masterpiece that is I, Partridge, but there are some great bits in it. This clip is Alan (and his mother) speculating on the real relationship between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson :pac:



From 1:55:10 on to 1:57:00

Cook a cat! that's 5hrs of Partridge I've never listened to. Jackanakanory

artvanderlay

De Bhál wrote: »

Cook a cat! that's 5hrs of Partridge I've never listened to. Jackanakanory

Have you listened to the audio-book of I,Partridge? Over 7 hours of Alan, and much funnier than Nomad.

De Bhál

artvanderlay wrote: »

Have you listened to the audio-book of I,Partridge? Over 7 hours of Alan, and much funnier than Nomad.

I haven't. great stuff

artvanderlay

7 hours long: enjoy! In my opinion, it is the funniest thing Alan/Coogan has ever done :pac:

Welsh Megaman

Alan: We’re down to the final lather. Just relax. There’s a foamy bit on your shoulder. Let’s make it more frothy with a squirt of light lemon liquid. Don’t you feel good? Relax. Don’t fall asleep and slip under…there’s some terrible statistics about that. Let’s just finish your neck off now with some final suds. Mmmmm!

Announcer: ALAN’S DEEP BATH.

Alan: Brought to you, by Dettol.

artvanderlay

Interview with Bryan Ferry at 7:25.


Alan: ...we're about to take a ferry to an island called Bryan. That's because it's Bryan Ferry...
Bryan: A-ha

Alan: I don't do that anymore.

[the interview gone south straight away!]



This is one of my favs too. Alan interviewing Roger Daltrey from The Who: "someone once described you as a Kinks for welders" Alan also mentions that he thinks Dave Gilmour from Pink Floyd keyed his car!


https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x31jgu8

Mike Litoris

Mis-ter Cragg

Ipso

Alan on “poverty”.

IamtheWalrus

I say telescopic dampers, I mean rigid stays.

Classic Alan