Alan Partridge Superthread - Sponsored by Dettol

deaddonkey15

Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?

Penn

It's me
It's me
It's Alan
It's Alan
On I
On I
On Partridge
On Partridge
It's me
It's me
It's Alan
It's Alan
On I
On I
On Partridge
On Partridge
It's me
It's me
It's Alan
It's Alan
On I
On I
On Partridge
On Partridge
It's me
It's me
It's Alan
It's *chokes*Alan
On I
On I
On Partridge
On Partridge

.red.

deaddonkey15 wrote: »

Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?

How did it take 5 pages before that came up?

Evil_g

keano_afc

.red. wrote: »

For me the best episode of I'm Alan Partridge was "Watership Alan". I still cry when i see it. My favourite quote is probably the rant he goes on about the farmers.

"You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. You make pigs smoke. You feed beef burgers to swans. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. Do you deny that? No, I think his silence speaks volumes"
That and the
"Old Robert a bit slow on the uptake there, dunno what he had for breakfast this morning... Presumably an infected spinal column in a bap"
Dr. No, Vocal Chrods is another classic.

"I'd love to have it off with her. MMMMmm breasts"

rubadub

Funeral jacket


"You know the breakfast buffet, all you can eat but from an 8-inch plate? 12 inches. Keep it in my room."

Evil_g

"Got your big plate Alan?"

keano_afc

"Are you going to the 4th floor Alan? Or are you going all the way with me?"

griffin100

Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan.............,

bur

And, here are U2. Who seem to be describing my search for a new washer dryer with 'I still haven't found what i'm looking for'

Some great stuff on MMM.

SimonTemplar

I love the moment when Alan and the hotel porter (not Michael, the younger guy) were talking about ladyboys and Alan was saying that you'd never know what women are actually men. Then, Sally Phillips' character Sophie, who is completely oblivious to the conversation, comes around the corner and Alan suddenly asks "Are you a man Sophie?". Her simple deadpan reply of "No" is perfect.

HalloweenJack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX2K2nNsSWw

I got 2.

loyatemu

HalloweenJack wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX2K2nNsSWw

I got 2.

I got 4 - yer man really knows his Alan.

RayM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5s3_9iPqoo

"Sue Cook's pulled out..."

Ipso

RayM wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5s3_9iPqoo

"Sue Cook's pulled out..."

Looks like he's up slack alley.

Welsh Megaman

Alan compering the finals of Miss Norwich...

Alan: Contestant number four is Maria McNulty. Maria is an Irish Roman Catholic. She says that before each beauty contest, she says a quick prayer.

She has a 36'' bust...AVE MARIA!

Olishi4

Alan's hatred for The Laughing Guy who is also staying at the hotel. The face on Alan when he gets stuck in the lift with him (cant post a clip )

Thargor

Olishi4 wrote: »

Alan's hatred for The Laughing Guy who is also staying at the hotel. The face on Alan when he gets stuck in the lift with him (cant post a clip )

That was the episode where he had a mystery object in the drawer in his bedroom and people kept trying to look at it

thecretinhop

Maasive alan p fan. I thought this series was epic. When he was getting a massage simon asks him a reply for critics alan in a sleepy voice says " i i hope... they get... cancer..

Olishi4

"Stop getting Bond wrong"

And then later he's outside the caravan pretending he has a gun and throwing grenades like a kid. Then he takes a bottle of Sunny Delight and spills it like its oil and he is going to light a fire

.red.

The air guitar is another classic scene. I love how he goes to take the guitar strap off his shoulder at the end


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nNDqzpgzdis

Skid X

Olishi4 wrote: »

"Stop getting Bond wrong"

I love how Alan's commentary syncs up exactly with the real intro to The Spy Who Loved Me. Lovely Stuff.

Say Your Number

My favourite moment is at the 'An Audience With.....' at the hotel at the when a cheap keyboard is playing Knowing Me, Knowing You and Alan tries to stop it but ends up playing a few different sound effects before he eventually stops it and when comes back "Sorry about that, a few gremlins in the system, ghosts in the machine, perhaps a metaphor for...............good evening"

Also at the same event when two fella's interrupt him by opening the door, just take a quick look at him and leave without saying a word, Alan turns to the crowd and says "Why do people do that"

"Very clever men, but I don't trust them, Gerry Adams looks like a Deputy Headmaster and Martin McGuinness looks like a clown without make up"

fussyonion

It's great to see so many AP fans here.
I thought of some more snippets that I loved:

-When Michael has drawn a "baby H" on the ground incase a helicopter flies overheard.
-When Alan tells Lynn she "couldn't present a cat."
-When Alan calls to Michael who won't let him indoors but gives him a cup of beans and Alan says the sausage is like a spoon.

Ash.J.Williams

North Norfolk hunt

Valentina

Cook Pass Babtridge

Torricelli

Alan revisits his old school and meets his headmaster:

Raphael: That was an appalling thing to say, you’ve placed me in a rather invidious position.
Alan: Don’t know that word. Carry on.
Raphael: You leave this school again and we’re left with the detritus.
Alan: Knock it off with the fancy words mate. Say it like it is, it went tits up. Y’know, you speak like you’re from the 19th century. And you sweat.
Raphael: I’d like to see you sweat over your work like I do over mine.
Alan: I don’t, because I use Lynx Africa. Gonna cane me?
Raphael: No, but I might throw a chair at you.
Alan: It’s still corporal punishment. See you in Strasbourg.

Ipso

“That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they ‘Paved paradise to put up a parking lot’, a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn’t quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song.”

Welsh Megaman

Some of the radio show sketches to be re-released on vinyl for Record Store Day!

Can you play them on a Bang And Olufsen?

http://recordstoreday.co.uk/exclusive-releases/rsd-2016/alan-partridge/

Ash.J.Williams

Welsh Megaman wrote: »

Some of the radio show sketches to be re-released on vinyl for Record Store Day!

Can you play them on a Bang And Olufsen?

http://recordstoreday.co.uk/exclusive-releases/rsd-2016/alan-partridge/

Lovely action

take everything

Olishi4 wrote: »

Alan's hatred for The Laughing Guy who is also staying at the hotel. The face on Alan when he gets stuck in the lift with him (cant post a clip )

Played by the actor Kevin Eldon.

prinzeugen

Thargor wrote: »

That was the episode where he had a mystery object in the drawer in his bedroom and people kept trying to look at it

They revealed what it was.. A Dutch special interest magazines called "Dikke Vrouwen op de Toiletten" (Fat women on toilets).

keano_afc

Watching I'm Alan Partridge now, delighted to discover it's on Netflix. "3 words. Wash. My. Car. Oh right, wash your car. Sorry Mr Partridge".

Ipso

I’m going nowhere, Lynn. Quite literally, I’m on the ring road. Third time round. I’ve just been into B&Q for a bag of tungsten-tipped screws. Never gonna use ‘em. Never gonna use ‘em.

Torricelli

"don't rub your fanny on me"

Ciaran_B

Ipso wrote: »

I’m going nowhere, Lynn. Quite literally, I’m on the ring road. Third time round. I’ve just been into B&Q for a bag of tungsten-tipped screws. Never gonna use ‘em. Never gonna use ‘em.

I only noticed, after my millionth rewatch, that this is the set up of a joke that we get the pay off for later in the episode.

Thargor

Did we? What did he use the screws for?

Ciaran_B

At the end when he dresses up as a zombie (shower curtain cape etc) he has the screws taped to his fingers.

ronnie3585

"Did you know that there are no Dutch Elms left in Britain?

Completely wiped out.


Disgusting.


Absolutely disgusting."

Welsh Megaman

Alan: It's nearly 7 o'clock, this is Dave Clifton.

Dave: Yes, indeed! Good morning, it's Dave Clifton! And there goes Alan Partridge..."Cone" but not forgotten!

Alan: *a bit annoyed but laughing*

Dave: You must've seen a film like, "Cone"an The Barbarian.

Alan: Yeah, good one.

Dave: Then watch a bit of TV like, "Cone" dancing.

Alan: Yeah, not so good but... fine.

Dave: Come on Alan, whats the matter with you? "Cone" you take a joke?

Alan: Oh, F**K OFF!

Dave: I am speechless! Dave Clifton is actually speechless! I don't believe you just said...

Alan: You don't sound it! I wish you were!

Dave: I mean, I really don't know what to say! I find it really difficult to find the words...

Alan: Try saying nothing!

Dave: You and I both know that dead air is a crime, and I think it's terrible that you have to fill it with swearing on your show!

Alan: Fortunately Dave, you are bang wrong! It's 1 minute past 7, it's your show, you're responsible for the output. I am technically a guest and you failed to control me...READ THE SMALL PRINT ON YOUR CONETRACT.

Penn

Needless to say, I had the last laugh!... Now f*ck off!

Jimbob1977

Rolled on the thighs of a Virgin!

Knowing me, Alan Partridge. Sacking you, Glen Ponder

I will remain impartial. I will be Pontius Partridge

Jimbob1977

o Arm wrestling with Chas n' Dave

o Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank

o Cooking in prison



Two of those concepts are now a reality.....

Thargor

Ciaran_B wrote: »

At the end when he dresses up as a zombie (shower curtain cape etc) he has the screws taped to his fingers.

Oh yeah

love the way Micheal is going to hit him:

Jimbob1977

Ten years ago, I spent months staying at the Watford Hilton for work. No joke.

Effectively I lived in the Linton Travel Tavern.

It was grand. Not like a troll living in a lay-by.

One night, I had to call reception to make porn come on my telly

Welsh Megaman

Dr. No Vocal Chords

Ipso

Welsh Megaman wrote: »

Alan: It's nearly 7 o'clock, this is Dave Clifton.

Dave: Yes, indeed! Good morning, it's Dave Clifton! And there goes Alan Partridge..."Cone" but not forgotten!

Alan: *a bit annoyed but laughing*

Dave: You must've seen a film like, "Cone"an The Barbarian.

Alan: Yeah, good one.

Dave: Then watch a bit of TV like, "Cone" dancing.

Alan: Yeah, not so good but... fine.

Dave: Come on Alan, whats the matter with you? "Cone" you take a joke?

Alan: Oh, F**K OFF!

Dave: I am speechless! Dave Clifton is actually speechless! I don't believe you just said...

Alan: You don't sound it! I wish you were!

Dave: I mean, I really don't know what to say! I find it really difficult to find the words...

Alan: Try saying nothing!

Dave: You and I both know that dead air is a crime, and I think it's terrible that you have to fill it with swearing on your show!

Alan: Fortunately Dave, you are bang wrong! It's 1 minute past 7, it's your show, you're responsible for the output. I am technically a guest and you failed to control me...READ THE SMALL PRINT ON YOUR CONETRACT.

Enough to make you hit the boddle.

Olishi4

When he is asking that red head woman on a date and says "I know a cracking owl sanctuary?"

There's a scene, i cant find it but Alan is staying at the hotel and he looks out the window and sees michael. He "shoots" Michael with an imaginary gun sort of like a nod of appreciation

stimpson

Jimbob1977 wrote: »

o Arm wrestling with Chas n' Dave

o Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank

o Cooking in prison



Two of those concepts are now a reality.....

Monkey tennis?

Welsh Megaman

Alan: Well done, Lynn. Now, before we get up, I’m just going to warn you...I have popped out again. It’s in no way connected with our proximity, so just don’t turn round.

[Alan untangles himself from the phone and adjusts his crotch.]

Alan: Right, the boys are back in the barracks! [Singing] Take a pinch of white man…