best revenge you got on someone who did something bad to you?

Sam Kade

Neyite wrote: »

Heard this from a little granny at my hobby group:

Years ago - back in the early 90's, her son went off to college in Limerick. There was a spate of thefts of Levi's/ Wranglers and any kind of branded clothing from washing lines of the student houses. One night, a pair of her son's 501's got robbed, along with jeans belonging to his house mates.

Off he goes home to the sticks for the weekend and on his return, brought back some electric fencing wire, and wired it up to the house electrics so it was live, just like the auld lad had shown him years ago. They then hung a few decoy bits of washing out on the line, switched on the power and waited. The shrieks and yelps later that night from two female scum bags in their back garden was music to their ears.

If he connected the wire to the house electrics he would be looking out at dead scumbags. Even if he used an electric fencer they wouldn't be yelping, they'd just get a belt off the wire and pull their hands away fast. I'd say the little granny was telling you porkies. Also they wouldn't catch the wire if they were taking the clothes off it and cloth deadens an electric fence.

EagererBeaver

Sam Kade wrote: »

He didn't, the fool took her back.

Kind of a crappy revenge then!

Sam Kade

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Kind of a crappy revenge then!

Not exactly, she got stood up.

RonanP77

I have none that I'd care to admit to because a few people on here know who I am. I have a few that came from older lads I work with, they're in their 60s.

The first lad had only started working here so it was back in the early 70s, he used to bring homemade cake or apple tart to work every day but a lot of the time it would go missing. He got fed up of it and put a worm in the middle of a slice of cake, wrapped it up and left it in his bag. Sure enough the cake went missing that day but it was the last time it ever happened.

The second lad was still at school at the time so we're talking mid 60s. He was at a small rural school with no running water. It was his job to go to the well 1 field away every morning to get water, the teacher used it to make tea during the day. She used to beat the crap out of him with a stick most days and he was sick of it. One morning he decided to get his revenge so he pissed in the bucket of water. He had a big smile on his face later on when he saw her drinking her tea.

maudgonner

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Kind of a crappy revenge then!

I'd like to think that he took her back only so that he could enact a long, well thought-out, systematic revenge. That somewhere out there, he's playing the long game and enjoying every minute of it.

kfallon

Sam Kade wrote: »

He didn't, the fool took her back.

The dopey fúck!!

EagererBeaver

Sam Kade wrote: »

Not exactly, she got stood up.

Who took revenge? The guy she'd been having the affair with? What was he taking revenge for in that case? He might have ****ed her over a good bit (tee hee hee) but that's not revenge.

Katgurl

It's probably not a very interesting one but years ago I was living with two of my female friends in a houseshare; all good fun, we were 19/20 so going out constantly, having boys over, sharing clothes , sharing meals etc. One of them had gotten into a serious relationship with a bloke who turned out to be a class A manipulative w@nker; telling her she was fat (laughable), we were s!uts, we weren't her real friends etc. She unfortunately fell completely under his spell and moved him in. That was the end of the good vibes and myself and other singleton told constantly that "no tv after 9.30pm", no using the stereo at all, no people no guests allowed over, constant passive aggressive sulking or him appearing on the couch if we were chatting quietly squeezing in between us with his hood up and arms folded to intimidate us etc. She transformed almost magically into Susie Homemaker. Fair enough, people can live whatever way they want so myself and other girl decide to get our own place and leave them to marital bliss as this is not what we signed up for. We gave our notice and had found a place to move into in two weeks time when we overhear the two of them slagging us off really really nastily. So we quickly packed our bags and disappeared home for the last two weeks we'd paid rent for but made sure to lock and take key to my bathroom door (directly under their bedroom) with the loudest shrillest most head wrecking alarm set to 4am. This alarm sung for 40 mins too without switching off. The first few days we were bombarded with angry texts which then petered off as it must have dawned on them that it wasn't an accident.

Thargor

kingchess wrote: »

Long story made short

---

I married her daughter just to piss her off,

Read that as "maimed her daughter" for a second :eek:

arayess

Katgurl wrote: »

It's probably not a very interesting one but years ago I was living with two of my female friends in a houseshare; all good fun, we were 19/20 so going out constantly, having boys over, sharing clothes , sharing meals etc. One of them had gotten into a serious relationship with a bloke who turned out to be a class A manipulative w@nker; telling her she was fat (laughable), we were s!uts, we weren't her real friends etc. She unfortunately fell completely under his spell and moved him in. That was the end of the good vibes and myself and other singleton told constantly that "no tv after 9.30pm", no using the stereo at all, no people no guests allowed over, constant passive aggressive sulking or him appearing on the couch if we were chatting quietly squeezing in between us with his hood up and arms folded to intimidate us etc. She transformed almost magically into Susie Homemaker. Fair enough, people can live whatever way they want so myself and other girl decide to get our own place and leave them to marital bliss as this is not what we signed up for. We gave our notice and had found a place to move into in two weeks time when we overhear the two of them slagging us off really really nastily. So we quickly packed our bags and disappeared home for the last two weeks we'd paid rent for but made sure to lock and take key to my bathroom door (directly under their bedroom) with the loudest shrillest most head wrecking alarm set to 4am. This alarm sung for 40 mins too without switching off. The first few days we were bombarded with angry texts which then petered off as it must have dawned on them that it wasn't an accident.

thats' good revenge

humberklog

During a boozy lunch time on a Saturday with a big gang of mates in London during the mid 90's one of the more In Your Face friends got quite unkind with my then girlfriend.

He was a typical English "geezer"- good enough bloke mostly but an aggressive bully with more than 6 pints of Stella on him.

My girlfriend left soon after and I stayed on with the gang.

Let's call him Matt (because that is his name) got a general bollocking from the group and he approached me to say sorry. I tapped him on the shoulder with one hand pulled him close in and said " no problem" while I dropped my cigarette into the pocket of his brand new coat.

He sat down for a few minutes sleepily rueing in the corner of the pub before deciding he had enough and made his goodbyes.

I followed a distance behind.

Looking at the fooker drunkily wrestle his burning coat off his back and jumping all over it on the Tottenham Court Road is a memory that'll always bring a smile to my face.

Neyite

Sam Kade wrote: »

If he connected the wire to the house electrics he would be looking out at dead scumbags. Even if he used an electric fencer they wouldn't be yelping, they'd just get a belt off the wire and pull their hands away fast. I'd say the little granny was telling you porkies. Also they wouldn't catch the wire if they were taking the clothes off it and cloth deadens an electric fence.

No, They got a belt off the fencing all right. Since I wasn't there, I cant tell you how exactly it was wired up to to make it give a shock rather than kill, but the lad knew how to connect a fence to a power source, as taught by his auld lad. They'd been doing it on the farm for years. And that's what he did. Those fences are designed to give you a jolt, rather than maim or kill, otherwise they would be too unsafe for farm use with children around.

And the quickest way to take stuff off a washing line is to hold the line with one hand and unpeg with the other, so that's likely what the women did. If they've never encountered electric fencing before, its possible they didn't realise what shocked them and tried again.

It did happen, and pretty much the way I described, because when I went home that evening and told my partner the story, it turns out he went to the local school with the guy who did it, and was in college in Limerick around the same time with him too and the lad became a bit of a legend for it. Both in Limerick and at home.

ticklebelly7

I was a staff manager in a big London university. We'd taken on this chap who was as lazy as sin except when dealing with the Director of the department, where he was so far up her ar*e he could see daylight. He was constantly boasting about how popular he was and who he'd shagged and what drugs / drink combo he'd had at the weekend. His boss thought he was wonderful. We knew he was a coke-fuelled ingratiating little gob****e.

I was going to dent his ego if it was the last thing I did.

Four weeks before Xmas I sent out an email to several members of staff reminding them that it was nearly time for the annual Nativity Living Crib. I assigned roles to each of them and Gob****e Junior was to be one of the Three Kings. What wasn't apparent was that I'd misspelled all their names - except for his - so that the emails would bounce back.

On the last day of term, when we had a big Christmas party in the afternoon, Gob****e Junior turned up in the Staff Room wearing a floor length red skirt topped off with a navy blue tunic. Across his shoulder was his cloak, a leaf green curtain, and the piece de resistance was my tea cosy, covered in custard yellow satin and finished with a huge dangling earring in the middle, which he had on his head as a turban. Oh, and he was carrying a little brass pot which was filled with burning incense and he waved this around as I'd instructed him to.
Bear in mind that no-one apart from a couple of other people knew about this. So the assembled staff were rather taken aback by this wonderful vision that passed amongst them wafting lightly - being terribly terribly British though, no-one commented or dared to ask why he'd turned up like that ...

Classic Rock Man

Broken hearts want broken necks.

Lets leave it at that.

Thargor

The laxative stories you get in these threads are always such bullsh1t, especially the poster who claims to have "found some in a press" at a party and laced his screw-top (never seen them for sale in Ireland) Millers with them.

humberklog

Thargor wrote: »

The laxative stories you get in these threads are always such bullsh1t, especially the poster who claims to have "found some in a press" at a party and laced his screw-top (never seen them for sale in Ireland) Millers with them.

I've never seen a non-screw top bottle of Miller in Ireland. Not saying they don't exist but I've only ever got screw tops myself.

Still don't believe laxative stories though.

ancapailldorcha

Wibbs wrote: »

Honestly? The point where I truly stopped giving a damn about them. For me morons are kinda like cracks in the path, in the landscape, to be avoided, largely going unnoticed unless you happen to trip over one by mistake when your head is on other things and then you feel foolish for doing so.

This. So much this.

That said, I used to live with 3 drug addicts. One was addicted to Coke, another E with the last chaps poison of choice being herbal. The pothead was a really ugly person. The stuff strongly accentuated his uglier qualities. Used to glare at me, have his pals round stinking out the place, all night parties every weekend, etc.... Anyway, I'd a few friends from Ireland in town. There was a place in the centre of town, Manchester in this instance which offered all-you-can-eat Chinese for £6. I'd been a few times and it was good grub. Afterwards, we head around various Irish pubs and I end up consuming 8 or so pints of Guinness. Heading home I begin to feel unwell. I get off the tram and I realise I've got food poisoning. It's a special feeling realising that you're about to pollute yourself in public. About half a second between realising you're not going to be able to stem the tide and the gates opening. I digress, however. Fortunately, I was living in a posh suburb and it was dark so I race home. I have a shower where my condition... deteriorated. I went to bed and my housemate has told me that he's had to clean up my mess thinking it was vomit. I didn't bother to correct him. Not revenge as such but every time he pulled one of his stunts, this memory alleviated a lot of my suffering. If I ever see him again, I think I'm going to get his name wrong on purpose.

razorblunt

Thargor wrote: »

The laxative stories you get in these threads are always such bullsh1t, especially the poster who claims to have "found some in a press" at a party and laced his screw-top (never seen them for sale in Ireland) Millers with them.

Screw top Millers are fine, definitely can get them. But yeah, the rest of it is highly suspicious alright.

EagererBeaver

Thargor wrote: »

The laxative stories you get in these threads are always such bullsh1t, especially the poster who claims to have "found some in a press" at a party and laced his screw-top (never seen them for sale in Ireland) Millers with them.

I lived in Dublin for 10 years and from the beginning to the end, screw cap Miller was widely available.

Pinch Flat

Not direct revenge as such, but about 10 years ago I worked in an organisation where the CEO made life hell for the employees - a sociopathic , narcissistic bully. Shortly after joining the organsiation, he took a particular dislike to me, and invented fake disciplinary charges to have me disciplined. Went to HR but they wouldn't dare question him - they rowed in instead in the whole charade.

He formulated my first warning it in a formal written warning (was totally fabricated) and made it clear that if I took it any further - employment tribunal / solicitor - that the entire resources of the organisation would be brought in against me. I attended the disciplinary meeting - him flanked by HR and one of the other directors, almost like Sugar in the apprentice. It was an extremely stressful time for me and I ended up resigning from the organisation shortly after my 'trial'.

Imagine my surprise then when shortly after leaving, he was effectively publicly sacked - on the evening news, the whole thing. Staff that remained there said he was escorted from the premises by security, almost in tears, his belongings in an card board box and publicly humiliated. My only regret was that I wasn't working there to witness this and give hi ma slow clap on the way out. But was a nice bit of schadenfreude nevertheless.

youtheman

Toots wrote: »

Not sure if anyone remembers the catastrophic laxative effects Bulmers pear used to have, but it was quite potent.

I remember someone who used to work in the Customer Complaints section of Bulmers once receiving a letter describing the after-effects of the Bulmers pear cider. He said it was like "pulling a pin on a grenade". I thought it was an apt description.

Thargor

humberklog wrote: »

I've never seen a non-screw top bottle of Miller in Ireland. Not saying they don't exist but I've only ever got screw tops myself.

Still don't believe laxative stories though.

EagererBeaver wrote: »

I lived in Dublin for 10 years and from the beginning to the end, screw cap Miller was widely available.

Well I spent 5 years in various pub jobs throughout college serving them after popping the tops off on the bottle openers like every other bottle of beer

PinkLemonade

Thargor wrote: »

Well I spent 5 years in various pub jobs throughout college serving them after popping the tops off on the bottle openers like every other bottle of beer

Off-licence boxes of Miller are usually screwtop, what they supply to pubs probably isn't

YFlyer

voz es wrote: »

Neither the water or the fight was ever mentioned again............

The other guy never knew about the dick in the water?

Sam Kade

Thargor wrote: »

The laxative stories you get in these threads are always such bullsh1t, especially the poster who claims to have "found some in a press" at a party and laced his screw-top (never seen them for sale in Ireland) Millers with them.

humberklog wrote: »

I've never seen a non-screw top bottle of Miller in Ireland. Not saying they don't exist but I've only ever got screw tops myself.

Still don't believe laxative stories though.

razorblunt wrote: »

Screw top Millers are fine, definitely can get them. But yeah, the rest of it is highly suspicious alright.

It really happened as for saying screw top Miller bottles never existed in Ireland now that's bullsh1t.

Capt'n Midnight

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

It's the whole Christian thing of turning the other cheek.

You mean like when you're mooning someone ?

Mesrine65

Thargor wrote: »

The laxative stories you get in these threads are always such bullsh1t, especially the poster who claims to have "found some in a press" at a party and laced his screw-top (never seen them for sale in Ireland) Millers with them.

Sure ye wouldn't need laxatives if ye're drinking Millers :P

beertons

As a former barman, a few squeezes of eye drops into a pint would give a lad the scuts. Laxatives come in many forms.

Thargor

beertons wrote: »

As a former barman, a few squeezes of eye drops into a pint would give a lad the scuts. Laxatives come in many forms.

"Eyedrops" is nearly as wide a pharmaceutical term as "tablets", it covers whole ranges of drugs and is a completely meaningless phrase, although most are just saline which wouldn't do anything.

I just dont believe all these laxative stories, its a lazy cliche you've seen Adam Sandler and friends do a million times but it just wouldn't work like that in real life and you sound like the 13 year old geek with the fake girlfriend who goes to "a different school" when you try to bullsh1t about spiking someones drink or food with them, it just doesnt work like that:

How long do laxatives take to work?
Bulk-forming laxatives can have some effect within 12-24 hours but their full effect usually takes 2-3 days to develop.

Osmotic laxatives such as lactulose can take 2-3 days to have any effect so they are not suitable for the rapid relief of constipation.

Stimulant laxatives usually work within 6-12 hours. A bedtime dose is recommended so you are likely to feel the urge to go to the toilet sometime the following morning. However, you may try taking it at different times in the day to find the best time of day for you. Some people naturally have their bowel movements later in the day rather than in the morning.

Stool (faecal) softeners usually work within 12 to 72 hours.

http://patient.info/health/laxatives

EagererBeaver

Alright there, Buzz Killington. I wouldn't go taking the thread too seriously.

You're still wrong about the Miller though.