There's no such thing as Santa Claus!!!

RobertKK

I stopped believing when I was 7 years old, my sister was 8. No big deal, as long as we got presents we didn't care. We were told to say nothing to other children.
It was due to a Santa Claus in a shop in Kilkenny, who was rather creepy as he had a very bad mask on and we just couldn't believe it was Santa, so we aired our suspicions with our parents and they told us the truth, and that was that.

Richard Dawkins said he was wrong to let his child believe in Santa Claus, but he did, maybe the link to a saint was an issue for him.

I just think parents should be responsible as it is not up to one parent to tell her child the truth then allow the child to tell all. A parent should know how their child will react, some children will do what the parent ask if told not to tell other children, others are not capable and will tell all.
Poor parenting is the problem with the child that told all.

uck51js9zml2yt

My 5 year olds not stupid.he knows the Santa in the shops isn't the real one.
The real one is in the north pole making his" 2 big guns"

TheChizler

If you tell your kids a nice pretend story that they're going to invest serious emotional energy into then you're going to have to be prepared for them finding out the truth before they figure it out for themselves.

I think if a child asked me directly was it pretend and not to lie, and I wasn't able to run away or avoid the question or defer to their parents (i.e. if they were my own!) that I wouldn't be able to lie. You lead by example with kids, and if I remember correctly the importance of telling the truth is one thing adults are always drilling into kids.

I imagine I'd try to not make a big thing of it and stress that they don't tell classmates but I don't think that you can expect a parent to lie to kids if they feel strongly about it.

PARlance

TheChizler wrote: »

If you tell your kids a nice pretend story that they're going to invest serious emotional energy into then you're going to have to be prepared for them finding out the truth before they figure it out for themselves.

I think if a child asked me directly was it pretend and not to lie, and I wasn't able to run away or avoid the question or defer to their parents (i.e. if they were my own!) that I wouldn't be able to lie. You lead by example with kids, and if I remember correctly the importance of telling the truth is one thing adults are always drilling into kids.

I imagine I'd try to not make a big thing of it and stress that they don't tell classmates but I don't think that you can expect a parent to lie to kids if they feel strongly about it.

Look at you channelling you inner kid and creating imaginary scenarios. Never let them knock that out of you.

lolokeogh

lol..realy?folks telling kids at 6.miserable ole gits,its one of the best parts of growing up,and if they do suss the "lie" early well ya try to convince them.im glad i dont have the mind set to tell my kids,and i look forward to seeing there faces light up come christmas morning,ill worry about the lie having deep effect on them in latter years in january,or the fact that imaginary people are the cause the world been on brink off all out war..somehow i dont think santy is included in that list,its a "white" lie folks,out of the many many people i know having a visit from santy every year never done them damage...lol..but it did leave great memorys,hopfully my kids will have the same..

Vitriol towards this lady a bit much

She didn't want her kids thinking there was a Santa. No big deal. Those kids told some other kids. No big deal.

Pretending like its spoiled Christmas is a bit much, or you're all relying on the big fella overmuch. The toys will still be the star of the show on the day and the panto can still carry on.

It's not like they don't know a good deal earlier than people are pretending in here either. Some people saying eleven. Eleven!

They'll be riding at eleven ye poor deluded stooges.

Another point to consider- its impossible for a parent to decide not to go along with the Santa conspiracy and for the kids not to blare it out all over scheeol- even if they were warned not to they'd have it wriggled out of them soon enough with other kids refusing to let it drop (kids at 6 don't believe in agreeing to disagree as a general rule)

Therefore everyone here dumping on this parent is essentially demanding that she be forced to raise her kids their way. At least she's got the facts on her side.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I'd be the first to admit I dislike pretty much all kids. I don't find kids cute. I have no interest in other people's kids. I don't fuss over kids. I have no interest in anyone's kids.

But even me - miserable and all as I am - couldn't find it in me to ruin a kids Christmas by saying Santa is not real. Yesterday myself and my cousin were out for dinner and talking about what her daughter was getting for Christmas, and for the benefit of the two small kids eavesdropping at the table next to us, we talked about "what's Santa bringing?" "Did she tell Santa to drop some presents at her dads house too?" "Do you think Santa will take her soother in exchange for her toys Xmas morning" etc

It's quite grim knowing there's people out there who'd gladly ruin that on a bunch of kids -- how miserable would you need to be, I wonder?

IvaBigWun

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'd be the first to admit I dislike pretty much all kids. I don't find kids cute. I have no interest in other people's kids. I don't fuss over kids. I have no interest in anyone's kids.

Ya know the way some people dont trust people who dont like pets? Well Ive a serious distrust for anyone who doesnt like kids.

Horrible, constantly bold kids? Sure, no one likes them if they're not their own. But nice, happy, funny kids? Seriously? Who doesnt like them?

Whats worse is that you're a woman and you're rejecting one of your most basic primal instincts.

Something isnt right there.

uck51js9zml2yt

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'd be the first to admit I dislike pretty much all kids. I don't find kids cute. I have no interest in other people's kids. I don't fuss over kids. I have no interest in anyone's kids.

But even me - miserable and all as I am - couldn't find it in me to ruin a kids Christmas by saying Santa is not real. Yesterday myself and my cousin were out for dinner and talking about what her daughter was getting for Christmas, and for the benefit of the two small kids eavesdropping at the table next to us, we talked about "what's Santa bringing?" "Did she tell Santa to drop some presents at her dads house too?" "Do you think Santa will take her soother in exchange for her toys Xmas morning" etc

It's quite grim knowing there's people out there who'd gladly ruin that on a bunch of kids -- how miserable would you need to be, I wonder?

So you really DO like kids but won't admit it

the_pen_turner

i wouldn't want to ruin anyones chrismass

but on the other hand if I had children I would not start this delusion.

TheChizler

Sam Rapping Huntsman wrote: »

So you really DO like kids but won't admit it

A Christmas miracle!

the_pen_turner

whats wrong with kids seening that mammy and daddy has to work hard all year to pay for their christmass morning and that those toys don't just appear out of the blue

Neamhshuntasach

I figured it out myself from watching the very Christmas films that added to the magic. Well it at least aroused my suspicions.

So take the Santa Clause with Tim Allen for example. He is fighting to prove he is Santa Claus while all the parents are like, there's no such thing ya lunatic. But the kids believe him as they still think he's real. But then it gets proved in the end that he is actually Santa Claus and he exists.

What always got me is, where did the parents think the presents came from all the years? Did they not wonder where all the additional or duplicate presents came from? And if no presents were left. Were they entitled to be back-dated?

robindch

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

Is it fair to lie to kids? Is lying ever ok? Is it fair to tell them the truth? Did that parent ruin the "magic" of Christmas for all?

I don't see anything "magic" about filling my kid's head with Santa-related stories, especially since she figured out that it was an adult conjob when she was, AFAIR, four. I can make her smile by telling her lots of other false stories too - she's a kid - why would I abuse her trust?

Yes, it's lovely to see her smile and grin and giggle and be happy over the moon when she knows she's going to get a present - and we put one from Santa beneath the tree - but she knows quite well it's from her parents. And now at the age of nine, she's embarrassed for her classmates (all of them religious) who still believe in Santa. As a parent, I'd like her to be a little ahead of the curve in terms of maturity and knowing what's what, instead of being one of the kids that's being laughed at her behind their backs because they still believe in Santa, the tooth fairy or any other pious myth.

iguana

Different parents will tell their own kids different things based on their own research/feelings/beliefs. That's their prerogative. And kids will ultimately tell each other what their parents told them and kids will pick up ideas that are contrary to what they learned at home. That's life and to be accepted on every subject, including Santa and when that happens it's up to the parent to be prepared for it and talk to their child in a way that (at least temporarily) brings them back around to the parent's way of thinking or lets the child know that what they have heard from the other children is true/a valid perspective.

Personally I love the Santa myth and I think that the notion of Santa bringing the toys is more exciting than the knowledge that I put the presents out. I believe this because my son's birthday is in November and I do the the same thing the night before and leave all his gifts out in the same way as I do on Xmas eve, yet Christmas is just a whole different level of exciting because of Santa. However I won't ever tell my son that Santa only comes to good children. I don't like to threaten/bribe him into behaving as I want. And in time I'm pretty sure he'll tell his friends that Santa doesn't care if you aren't always 'good' and if his friend's parents later try to tell them tidy their room/eat all their dinner or Santa mightn't come those kids will probably retort that S's mammy says that's not true and that will piss them off. But I can't base my parenting decisions on how some people I don't even know yet will be annoyed when my son talks to their children about how things are in our house. That would be ridiculous. And the same is true for parents who just don't want to tell their children that Santa is real. It's not how I do things and may cause awkward conversations for me, but that's just life.

Mackman

the_pen_turner wrote: »

whats wrong with kids seening that mammy and daddy has to work hard all year to pay for their christmass morning and that those toys don't just appear out of the blue

Whats wrong is that kids shouldn't be subjected to the mysery and trudgery that is adult life for as long as possible. The should get to believe that the world is a magical place where faries, easter bunny, santa tooth fairy etc. all exist.

Seriously, they get like 10 years tops with this stuff, they will have 70 years of the rest. Give them the 10 years. (Although with smartphones and tablets now, they will probably only get 7-8 years)

trixychic

Both my boys believe and I would love to keep it that way. Many times they have heard someone in passing saying Santa's not real and they turn to me and laugh and say "he is real!!!!" To which i reply of course he is...

But. If they ever come to me and ask is he real I will simply ask "what do you think". I won't lie to them then. If they figure it out then that's fine. But if they come home crying saying such and such said he's not but he really is mammy. I'm not gonna ruin their magic.

Kids need magic and mystery and the ability to believe in stuff without seeing it for as long as possible imo.

namloc1980

robindch wrote: »

I don't see anything "magic" about filling my kid's head with Santa-related stories, especially since she figured out that it was an adult conjob when she was, AFAIR, four. I can make her smile by telling her lots of other false stories too - she's a kid - why would I abuse her trust?

Yes, it's lovely to see her smile and grin and giggle and be happy over the moon when she knows she's going to get a present - and we put one from Santa beneath the tree - but she knows quite well it's from her parents. And now at the age of nine, she's embarrassed for her classmates (all of them religious) who still believe in Santa. As a parent, I'd like her to be a little ahead of the curve in terms of maturity and knowing what's what, instead of being one of the kids that's being laughed at her behind their backs because they still believe in Santa, the tooth fairy or any other pious myth.

Must say that post is pretty sad IMHO.

StinkyMunkey

Stupid bint, sounds like a bitter old cow. I pity the child that has her as a parent, the world is a horrible nasty place full of hardship, I remember the magic that was Christmas when I was young. I'm thankful my parents didn't spoil my bubble of joy, some days I wish I wasn't privy to just what goes on in the world. I'm not worried about some nasty piece of work ruining Xmas for my boys.

Into The Blue

trixychic wrote: »

Believe what ****e? ???

The opening post.

KungPao

My missus never had the Santa deal as a kid, or Papai Noel as it is in her country.

I believe in her country, Santa is just a symbol of the event, but he won't be coming down the chimney with a sack of wonderful presents.

Obviously one can't miss something they never had, but I feel a bit sorry for her. Some of my best memories are of the magic of waiting for Santa to come on Christmas Eve.

feargale

Benteke wrote: »

She is a 100% right, To much pressure on parents these days when it comes to xmas, Just look at what is happening around the world with religion, Lies and imaginary friends at the heart of it, Kids are best to know the truth

You're a little gem, you are.

attagirl

I kind of get it. There is something a bit Truman Show-esque about realising the whole world has been keeping up this lie, and in some cases going to elaborate lenghts to convince you it's real (parents sending reply letters from Santa, some app I saw the other day where you can take a pic of your living room and superimpose Santa in, and say you got a photo) -I mean it's enough to make you feel paranoid and like you can never trust grown ups again!

However, I LOVED believing in Santa, and think that feeling of really believing in magic and Santa was one of the best aspects of childhood. If I decided to have kids, I think I'd keep up the Santa lark, but only til about 6 or 7.

I do think there's too much cushioning these days though. I mean people saying "Hide the thread title!" ? Even six year olds who believe in Santa know it's a contentious issue ha.
My mom straight up told us that all the Santas in grottos/shopping centres etc are just men dressed up, that of course the real Santa is very busy in lapland. It was pretty clever of her. She also said that Santa only comes to children who believe in him. So when kids in my class said that they stayed up and saw their parents putting gifts under the tree, it didn't shake my belief, I just thought "well, that's because you were cynical and didn't believe in Santa, so your parents have to get your presents or else you'll get nothing."

When I was about 8 and my two siblings were older, it was just freely talked about that they got gifts from my parents because they stopped believing, but Santa came to me. Of course, I noticed Santa is a bit more generous than parents, so I milked a few extra years out of that..

attagirl

I kind of get it. There is something a bit Truman Show-esque about realising the whole world has been keeping up this lie, and in some cases going to elaborate lengths to convince you it's real (parents sending reply letters from Santa, some app I saw the other day where you can take a pic of your living room and superimpose Santa in, and say you got a photo) -I mean it's enough to make you feel paranoid and like you can never trust grown ups again!

However, I LOVED believing in Santa, and think that feeling of really believing in magic and Santa was one of the best aspects of childhood. If I decided to have kids, I think I'd keep up the Santa lark, but only til about 6 or 7.

I do think there's too much cushioning these days though. I mean people saying "Hide the thread title!" ? Even six year olds who believe in Santa know it's a contentious issue ha.
My mom straight up told us that all the Santas in grottos/shopping centres etc are just men dressed up, that of course the real Santa is very busy in lapland. It was pretty clever of her. She also said that Santa only comes to children who believe in him. So when kids in my class said that they stayed up and saw their parents putting gifts under the tree, it didn't shake my belief, I just thought "well, that's because you were cynical and didn't believe in Santa, so your parents have to get your presents or else you'll get nothing."

When I was about 8 and my two siblings were older, it was just freely talked about that they got gifts from my parents because they stopped believing, but Santa came to me. Of course, I noticed Santa is a bit more generous than parents, so I milked a few extra years out of that..

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Ya know the way some people dont trust people who dont like pets? Well Ive a serious distrust for anyone who doesnt like kids.

Horrible, constantly bold kids? Sure, no one likes them if they're not their own. But nice, happy, funny kids? Seriously? Who doesnt like them?

Whats worse is that you're a woman and you're rejecting one of your most basic primal instincts.

Something isnt right there.

So because I'm a woman I'm supposed to melt at the sight of them? Mm no.
I take no notice of happy good well behaved kids. I'm skeptical of how long it'll last for if I'm in a confined space for a period of time but apart from that, meh - they're just there. Wouldn't be falling over myself to be in their company.

Bold kids? The jury is still out on whether it's the kids that insufferable arseholes or if it's the parents. The lazy parents who brush off their children's lack of manners as "kids will be kids". I don't find anyone's bad behaviour cute or endearing. My gender is completely irrelevant.

Dirty Dingus McGee

the_pen_turner wrote: »

whats wrong with kids seening that mammy and daddy has to work hard all year to pay for their christmass morning and that those toys don't just appear out of the blue

Because their children and children don't really appreciate that people have to work hard to pay for things.

freshpopcorn

I loved the magic of Christmas as a child. Santa meant so much to me and I looked forward to him when I got bullied at school. Some years I asked for little and other years I asked for more. I probably always got extra surprises as well but it was more the magic if the season that I loved more so than the presents. When I did find out I wasn't really pushed about getting the presents because or getting up on Christmas morning getting all my presents.
The magic feeling that he brings to kids life is brilliant in my opinion. I love shopping a couple of days before Christmas and seeing how happy kids are known he's on the way. It adds so much to the season.
I was always told that the guy working in shops were his helpers.
Regarding telling your kids at a very early age. In my experience kids are the worst secret keepers and the news spreads around pretty fast around 5th/6th class once the news comes out.

pickarooney

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

I wonder if she ruins the oul bedtime stories as well.

Does Goldilocks get mauled to death by grizzlies?

Do Snow White and the Prince end up going through an acrimonious divorce?

In my experience kids much prefer the versions of fairy tales with the gruesome twists than the sanitised versions.

pickarooney

Mackman wrote: »

Whats wrong is that kids shouldn't be subjected to the mysery and trudgery that is adult life for as long as possible. The should get to believe that the world is a magical place where faries, easter bunny, santa tooth fairy etc. all exist.

Seriously, they get like 10 years tops with this stuff, they will have 70 years of the rest. Give them the 10 years. (Although with smartphones and tablets now, they will probably only get 7-8 years)

How about raising your kids with a positive mindset and to appreciate all the good in the world and the huge array of opportunities open to them? This notion that once you stop believing in Santy the wonder of the world ends is disturbing.