Back with Ex- She's sent nudes to some lads in work and her college course

kylith

Andrew Laeddis wrote: »

We both agreed to keep what went on when we were apart in the 6 months to ourselves but curiosity got the better of me whereas she's fine not knowing who I was with or if I sent anyone any pics ( I did on both counts, albeit not to work colleagues)

So now I feel hypocritical.

So your question is if you can forgive her for doing exactly the same thing you did? Of course you feel hypocritical; you're being a hypocrite.

If anything you should be asking if you should come clean about snooping through her sent emails.

Wompa1

Funny you mention this. I was out with an ex once and we met some guy she knew. Had a brief chat, got introduced to him but to me he seemed off. He was giggling like a school girl. Not a nervous laugh..

Anyways, months later I found out that she had sent him nudes before we met and at the time was posing for him for some (non-art) thing he was working on while we were together. Then all of a sudden that weighed on me a lot because I remembered him laughing so much for no reason....He wasn't laughing innocently. He was laughing at me..or at least that's what I still think.

It's crappy. Personally, I would dump her. She sounds like she likes drama. Particularly in this day and age, sharing nude pictures is such a dumb thing to do. Pretty poor decision on her part

LegacyUser

Wompa1 wrote: »

Funny you mention this. I was out with an ex once and we met some guy she knew. Had a brief chat, got introduced to him but to me he seemed off. He was giggling like a school girl. Not a nervous laugh..

Anyways, months later I found out that she had sent him nudes before we met and at the time was posing for him for some (non-art) thing he was working on while we were together. Then all of a sudden that weighed on me a lot because I remembered him laughing so much for no reason....He wasn't laughing innocently. He was laughing at me..or at least that's what I still think.

Why do you care that some random guy was, in your mind, laughing at you? So what, let him giggle all he wants, what difference does it make to have a stranger act like an idiot around you? If we all worried about random people thought of us we might never leave the house

Wompa1 wrote: »

It's crappy. Personally, I would dump her. She sounds like she likes drama. Particularly in this day and age, sharing nude pictures is such a dumb thing to do. Pretty poor decision on her part

The OP made the exact same decision while they were separated ie sent nude pics so he's hardly in a place to judge her.

Augme

If she meet up with some other guy and had a thing with him and sent him nudes I wouldn't mind. However the fact she fired them off to 2-3 people would bother me. I get the impression she does not even like one of these guys and so she probably just did it for the attention. Not sure I would want to date someone who was so desperate for attention they felt the need to send nude pictures to a good few lads.

Although for you the issue seems to be a bit more on the jealousy side of things which is something you need to just get over.

cloudatlas

All the evidence points to you shutting up about this and trying not to judge her or cause her to feel hurt, embarrassed.

You were broken up at the time. You had a 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy as a way of protecting the trust you now have. You have already violated that policy and the trust.

Will it be awkward if you are around these guys? Yes, it will but that is the price you will have to pay if you don't want your girlfriend to question your relationship. Sometimes it's necessary to lie or conceal things to keep a healthy relationship, this is one of those times.

Andrew Laeddis

cloudatlas wrote: »

All the evidence points to you shutting up about this and trying not to judge her or cause her to feel hurt, embarrassed.

You were broken up at the time. You had a 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy as a way of protecting the trust you now have. You have already violated that policy and the trust.

Will it be awkward if you are around these guys? Yes, it will but that is the price you will have to pay if you don't want your girlfriend to question your relationship. Sometimes it's necessary to lie or conceal things to keep a healthy relationship, this is one of those times.

I understand this now. Thanks

PressRun

This thread is horrible, full of fairly harsh judgements for a complete stranger, whose behaviour is being filtered through the lens of a partner who seems to believe there's one rule for him and another for his girlfriend.

OP, you either accept that you're both on the same page and have done the same thing, and get over it, or break up with her. Sounds like a jealousy issue more than anything.

zeffabelli

Op this is very very silly, you do know that?

So what she sent nude pictures....

Do you live her, shoes she make you feel valued and cherished?

I wish relationships weren't so hard... But no one can fit your ideal...

You were the one who snooped... You're the transgressor here...