Back with Ex- She's sent nudes to some lads in work and her college course

Andrew Laeddis

Obviously she was single and entitled to do whatever she wanted.

Now we're back together and I found this out inadvertently- feel awkward as hell at the thoughts of going on nights out with her and her classmates/colleagues or even collecting her from college or work.

Any advice please?

Thanks

Kev W

Andrew Laeddis wrote: »

Obviously she was single and entitled to do whatever she wanted.

There you go.

Stranger Danger

Andrew Laeddis wrote: »

Any advice please?

Thanks

Get over it or dump her.

That's your two choices.

She doesn't exactly sound like a great catch though.

racso1975

Stranger Danger wrote: »

Get over it or dump her.

That's your two choices.

She doesn't exactly sound like a great catch though.

Why?? cause she chose to express herself sexually when single???? Just cause you might not like it gives you no right to judge.

Op: suck it up or split up.....that's it sorry

Stranger Danger

racso1975 wrote: »

Why?? cause she chose to express herself sexually when single???? Just cause you might not like it gives you no right to judge.

Sure it does - this forum is full of moral judgements - including yours ironically - do you mean that its only your moral judgements that are allowed?.


I'd be looking for a bit more class from a partner - buy hey, that's just me and my morals.

racso1975

Bilbao Brigue wrote: »

That doesn't answer his question at all. He's looking for advice on dealing with the awkwardness.

OP, personally I would pretend it never happened , it will probably be forgotten about in time.

But the awkwardness is his issue. He is concerned that somebody saw a pic of his girlfriend naked, when she was single. Fact is she wants to be with the op, she has a past as do most partner's. You let that stuff get in your head and your relationship does not stand a chance

racso1975

Bilbao Brigue wrote: »

He is entitled to choose whatever criteria he likes as dump worthy offences. So he has every right to judge when it comes to choosing a woman to be his girlfriend.

Read my post again........the post was not directed at the op in anyway shape or form.......bar the last line that cleary indicates its for the op

racso1975

Stranger Danger wrote: »

Sure it does - this forum is full of moral judgements - including yours ironically - do you mean that its only your moral judgements that are allowed?.


I'd be looking for a bit more class from a partner - buy hey, that's just me and my morals.

True I did make a judgement too and accept your point and of course you are entitled to your view. I just think telling the op that his girlfriend is not classy or not a good catch is a bit ott in fairness.

Stranger Danger

racso1975 wrote: »

True I did make a judgement too and accept your point and of course you are entitled to your view. I just think telling the op that his girlfriend is not classy or not a good catch is a bit ott in fairness.

I think there's a big difference between sending intimate pictures to a partner as against sending intimate pictures to a bunch of people you go to college with and work with.

The latter scenario would lead me to conclude that the girl in question is a bit of a desperate attention-seeker.
Not a quality I'd find particularly attractive.

Perhaps the OP doesn't feel the same way.

VisibleGorilla

My advise would be to end things 100%.

I doubt you'll let this go, if I was in this situation I wouldn't.

End it, move on to a new girl.

CaraMay

What was she thinking? I really don't understand why people do that with people who can share / post the photos. I wouldn't like it either op and it would change my view of the person simply because it's so dumb and needy. I agree that of you don't think you can get over it then you just let it go now as otherwise it will be constantly hanging over you.

racso1975

Stranger Danger wrote: »

I think there's a big difference between sending intimate pictures to a partner as against sending intimate pictures to a bunch of people you go to college with and work with.

The latter scenario would lead me to conclude that the girl in question is a bit of a desperate attention-seeker.
Not a quality I'd find particularly attractive.

Perhaps the OP doesn't feel the same way.

The part in bold is probably what we need clarity on:

1) Some lads, as mentioned in title, could be 2 lads as opposed to just sending random nude pics to colleagues and college mates (by the way if that is the case and they are just random people she sent pics to then yes op run for the hills)

2) The op could have been broken up for a number of years with this girl at which point she developed relationships and partners during that time and hence sent them nudes.

Ursus Horribilis

He started another thread about the relationship a few weeks ago. They were split up for 6 months.

blueb

sending nudes to groups of men you work with!!? and go to school with.
sounds like a slapper to me

dudara

@blueb - Your post doesn't offer any advice to the OP. Please keep your posts helpful and make sure to post actual advice.

dudara

blueb

*sounds like a slapper to me.... you should leave her

Kev W

OP, how did you "inadvertently" find out about the pictures? What kind of relationship does she have with the guys who she sent the pictures to? The more context we have the better informed the advice you get will be.

OneOfThem

There's a thread in here at the minute from a guy in a sexless marriage. Wife just can't be arsed with sex at all. Threads full to the brim of guys (and a couple of girls) in the same situation, sexually frustrated and going out of thier minds in relationships with people for whom sex is way down on thier list of priorities.

Your girlfriend sounds like a pretty sexual and adventurous person. Surely that's a good thing in a girlfriend.

As to feeling awkward, look, most girls you're with, people will have not only have seen them nude, they'll have flipped them over, mushed thier face into the pillow and been balls deep inside them. A nude picture is nothing. You kinda just have to be a grown up and deal with it.

ColeTrain

blueb wrote: »

what a load of crap, hopefully OP does not have as low standard of women as you

These are ppl she works with!! and is in school with....

I agree with this, wouldn't be pleased myself. It's up to the OP if he can let this go or not.

Kev W

blueb wrote: »

what a load of crap, hopefully OP does not have as low standard of women as you

These are ppl she works with!! and is in school with....

And may have been seeing at the time, for all we know.

Andrew Laeddis

Kev W wrote: »

OP, how did you "inadvertently" find out about the pictures? What kind of relationship does she have with the guys who she sent the pictures to? The more context we have the better informed the advice you get will be.

She was in college and asked me to email her a file from her iMac

When I went to her Google Drive to get it, there were 2 emails to a colleague and a classmate with pics.

I really dont know what kind of relationship she has with these guys - i was aware of the classmate before the break up but never saw him as someone she'd be into (hes shorter than her, overweight, not someone I would have ever thought she'd give the time of day too)

blueb

OneOfThem wrote: »

< mod note: Banned poster>

Wow !! what a revelation

look lad if you would be happy to be with a girl that sends group nude photos to
people that she works with and studies with then fair play to ya, as long as you
know that your gf is an idiot.
Guaranteed the lads she works and studies with are having a good laugh and sending those pics around in whatsapp groups ect

Kev W

blueb wrote: »

Wow !! what a revelation

look lad if you would be happy to be with a girl that sends group nude photos to
people that she works with and studies with then fair play to ya, as long as you
know that your gf is an idiot.
Guaranteed the lads she works and studies with are having a good laugh and sending those pics around in whatsapp groups ect

Where are you getting "group nude photos" from?

How is she an "idiot" for sharing pictures?

How are you "guaranteeing" that they're sharing the pics? If it were you receiving them, would you share them?

Atlantic Dawn

My take on it...if you have no problem with those photos ever appearing on the front of a newspaper then stay in a relationship with her, if you do have a problem then leave her as the probability will always be there.

Kev W

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

My take on it...if you have no problem with those photos ever appearing on the front of a newspaper then stay in a relationship with her, if you do have a problem then leave her as the probability will always be there.

Are newspapers so desperate now that nude photos of random people will "probably" end up on the front page?

Ann84

Hi OP, it's always hard when you break up and get back with someone, it's really hard to forget that for a period of time they weren't with you or visa versa..
Most couples just agree to leave a lot unsaid and that makes it easier to forget however in this case you know stuff you don't wanna know and it's no ones fault so all I can suggest is that you give it time and focus on what you guys have and that your happy to be with her now.

In a couple of months/ years time it won't feel so raw as you guys will have much better memories together! No one is perfect and if you guys have gotten back together, there must be something there for you both so try to focus on the positives is my advice I guess!!

Taltos

dudara wrote: »

@blueb - Your post doesn't offer any advice to the OP. Please keep your posts helpful and make sure to post actual advice.

dudara

Mod Note
Since the above mod warning we've already had to ban one poster and remove a number of below standard posts. Guys, off topic posts like this do little to advise the OP and just result in threads going totally off topic.

If you've issues with a post please report it, challenging it here isn't always the best approach and can also result in mod action if the replies cross the line as well.

Thanks.

intheclouds

So she sent a nude pic to 1 classmate and 1 colleague?

Was it a sexually explicit pic or just a sexy "hey look at my great body but my nips and my lady garden are not visible" type pic?

I really dont see the big deal tbh. She was single, perhaps she was intimate with one or both of these guys?

Does she send those kinds of pics to you while you are in a relationship with her?

Up to her who she wants to send nudies to when she is single, if you cant handle it then you should break up.

Bit odd to say you would feel awkward picking her up from work or college because of it - why?

racso1975

Andrew Laeddis wrote: »

She was in college and asked me to email her a file from her iMac

When I went to her Google Drive to get it, there were 2 emails to a colleague and a classmate with pics.

I really dont know what kind of relationship she has with these guys - i was aware of the classmate before the break up but never saw him as someone she'd be into (hes shorter than her, overweight, not someone I would have ever thought she'd give the time of day too)

Talk to her so. Tell her you saw what you saw and you just want clarity. Just when doing it try not to make that she feels she has to justify her actions to you.

You're only options are to either stay with her or break up. That's all. Can you get over your niggling insecurities? Because those are your issues, not hers. She was absolutely entitled to do what she wanted with her photos and her body while she was single.

frostyjacks

I'd finish it. It would always be there under the surface. Anytime you have a row that would probably be the first weapon to fire at her. Best to let her go and enjoy herself with someone else.