Faced with the possibility of chemo.

Stheno

There is a programme on RTE tomorrow night on tv following Louise McSharry as she goes through treatment for Hodgkins Lymphoma.

http://www.rte.ie/lifestyle/living/2015/0910/726959-louise-mcsharry-new-documentary-is-no-cry-fest/

It may be useful to watch to gain an insight into the journey of surviving cancer?

dreamstar

Leogirl wrote:

Following this thread as it looks like I'm.facing chemo once my baby is born (39 weeks pregnant now). Also told I would need mastectomy + radiotherapy but it's the chemo I'm dreading :-(

Leogirl I'm so sorry to hear that. So they found it while you were pregnant? That must have been so hard. From what everyone is saying here I don't think it's as bad as we think. Of course its still a major thing. You'll have your little bundle as a distraction.

We have been trying to conceive for two years now and this will delay things further. I've also lost an ovary so our chances of conceiving are smaller again. Plus then if I need chemo chances are down again. Its just so hard. I'm struggling with this as I'm getting older and really want a baby. But I need to get better first.

Leogirl

Dreamstar- they found tumour last week, I was 38 weeks pregnant. It's pretty hard but trying to stay positive+ there is a small chance they'll tell me its benign. She didn't seem to think so though. I'm just geared up now for the bad news+ the plan then have my baby next week+ get on with it all.

I was not expecting to get pregnant. We were told I had to put it on hold due to new MS meds but I was pregnant all along so we are blessed. I think it must be so hard to be trying+ hoping every month. I'm 38 now so I guess I was lucky really. I don't think there'll be another, one is a blessing. We know that now. I hope it's not too hard a journey for you. X

dreamstar

Leogirl wrote:

Dreamstar- they found tumour last week, I was 38 weeks pregnant. It's pretty hard but trying to stay positive+ there is a small chance they'll tell me its benign. She didn't seem to think so though. I'm just geared up now for the bad news+ the plan then have my baby next week+ get on with it all.

Leogirl I'm so so sorry. What awful news to get when you should be so excited. You're right to stay positive. No doubt you'll have your moments - I'm exactly the same. Some days are good and then for some reason it can just hit you.

I'll be getting my results next Thursday so trying not to think about it too much until then. Just focusing on getting myself stronger after the surgeries. Don't know where I would be without my amazing husband and family. They're the ones getting me through this. I am lucky mine was caught early so I count my blessings for that. I'm turning 30 in a few weeks so hopefully I'll be celebrating a start to a luckier decade.

I'll be thinking of you - keep us posted. Xxxxxxxx

Leogirl

Well it was the expected bad news. Its cancer+ aggressive. But it's grade 1-2+ not in lymph nodes so that's something. Before they can do anything I need to give birth to my little girl-asap. I don't know how I will find strength to do this. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel more positive+ strong.

Stheno

Leogirl wrote: »

Well it was the expected bad news. Its cancer+ aggressive. But it's grade 1-2+ not in lymph nodes so that's something. Before they can do anything I need to give birth to my little girl-asap. I don't know how I will find strength to do this. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel more positive+ strong.

I'm very sorry to read this

My very best wishes that you find the strength you need, and recover fully

mark_jmc

Leogirl
My thoughts are with you and your family, you will find the strength, you will get through this,
Take care,
Mark

dreamstar

Leogirl wrote:

Well it was the expected bad news. Its cancer+ aggressive. But it's grade 1-2+ not in lymph nodes so that's something. Before they can do anything I need to give birth to my little girl-asap. I don't know how I will find strength to do this. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel more positive+ strong.

I'm so sorry Leogirl. Don't worry you will find the strength and you will get through this.
As you said its a huge plus that its not in the lymph nodes. I know it must have been a massive shock for you. If you ever need to vent we're here to support you. Take care of yourself. Xxxx

dreamstar

So I had my appointment with the consultant today. They found more cancer in the ovary they removed but everything else came back clear. It just means I need to have the chemo done. :-(

As I am only 29 and we were trying to conceive they are recommending having IVF done so that we have some embryos there for after the chemo. Just in case we need them. Once that's done we can start the chemo.

I honestly don't know how to feel. I think a part of me was just expecting them to say everything would be clear and that would be it. But we have a few tough months ahead still. Sometimes I feel like we never get a break. 

mark_jmc

Hi dreamgirl
Sorry to hear that, at least you now know what the plan is. Chemo is tough but in my experience it is not as bad as they portray in the movies!
With regard to the IVF, I had to freeze sperm before I had my chemo,
Incidentally We were undergoing a round of IVF just before i was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Unfortunately the baby had no heartbeat on the 12 week scan - the same day I was diagnosed with cancer- how crap can life be sometimes.
What I will say about IVF is it is amazing what they can do these days and there will be a very good chance you will conceive.
Stay strong during your treatment and keep posting
Mark

dreamstar

Wow mark that's a lot to happen all at once. We got pregnant last year and were told the same at the 12 week scan. It was unbelievably heartbreaking. We were trying to conceive since with no luck.

I couldn't imagine going through that and a cancer diagnosis at once. I'm finding it tough dealing with them separately. I'm eager to just start the chemo asap. And I'm sure the time will go quick.

Its just so scary.....

IRLConor

dreamstar wrote: »

Wow mark that's a lot to happen all at once. We got pregnant last year and were told the same at the 12 week scan. It was unbelievably heartbreaking. We were trying to conceive since with no luck.

I couldn't imagine going through that and a cancer diagnosis at once. I'm finding it tough dealing with them separately. I'm eager to just start the chemo asap. And I'm sure the time will go quick.

Its just so scary.....

You have the shock now. Then you'll have the apprehension before your first session. Once you're done with that you'll be in the phase of "well, there's nothing left to do but get on with it" and that's a lot easier to handle.

I found the uncertainty and worry was worse than the actual treatment and the good side to that is that you can get a lot of it out of the way near the start.

Leogirl

Dreamstar, I'm sorry to hear you need the chemo. I'm dreading it too but im coming round to the idea now after a few days. I know I've been distracted but it's still there on my mind. So stupid but losing my hair really bothers me. So I made a plan so I can sort of control it. I really find knowing as much as I can about my schedule etc+ trying to get some control over it help me a lot. I hope you find your way of getting to grips with this Shi**y situation too.

I'm in Vincent's for treatment, if you are too then maybe we could bump into each other sometime - push each other on a bit :-)

dreamstar

Leogirl wrote:

Dreamstar, I'm sorry to hear you need the chemo. I'm dreading it too but im coming round to the idea now after a few days. I know I've been distracted but it's still there on my mind. So stupid but losing my hair really bothers me. So I made a plan so I can sort of control it. I really find knowing as much as I can about my schedule etc+ trying to get some control over it help me a lot. I hope you find your way of getting to grips with this Shi**y situation too.

I understand completely. Losing my hair really bothers me too. I'm not a vain person or anything but its just that once you lose your hair everyone knows. And I think that's the hardest thing for family to watch. I can pretend im ok but once i have no hair I'm exposed and vulnerable. I think I'll definitely get a wig. Just couldn't cope otherwise.

Does chemo also mean you lose your eyebrows too?

Aw leogirl I'm also in Vincents. We must keep in touch when we're starting. Would be nice to have support from someone in the same boat. Xxx

IRLConor

dreamstar wrote: »

Does chemo also mean you lose your eyebrows too?

I didn't lose mine. They thinned out a bit, but that was about it.

Everybody's different. The amount of hair you lose is down to a combination of the particular chemo you're on and how your body reacts to it.

Leogirl

My friend had it a couple of years ago+ didn't lose her eyebrows. Hers thinned out a bit too. Really hoping I don't.

I had my baby on weds morning+ I believe I'd be losing a load of hair after that anyway. May as well chop it up soon+ ease my way into it :-)

Will definitely keep in touch- I think it'd help me having someone to talk to+ be free to be honest+ open about the chemotherapy+ the cancer. I know I'll be putting on a brave face for family+ friends.

Exclamation Marc

I lost my hair but didn't lose my eyebrows. I'm due to finish my chemo (3 cycles of ABVD and 4 cycles of EscBEACOPP) in a couple of weeks (final day of chemo on Tuesday).

Eyebrows thinned out slightly but still very much there.

I'm just finished in Vincents Private, nicest nurses/people you will ever meet in your life.

Stheno

Leogirl wrote: »

My friend had it a couple of years ago+ didn't lose her eyebrows. Hers thinned out a bit too. Really hoping I don't.

I had my baby on weds morning+ I believe I'd be losing a load of hair after that anyway. May as well chop it up soon+ ease my way into it :-)

Will definitely keep in touch- I think it'd help me having someone to talk to+ be free to be honest+ open about the chemotherapy+ the cancer. I know I'll be putting on a brave face for family+ friends.

Congratulations on the baby.

hard as it may be, try to enjoy what time you have before you begin your treatment

Very best wishes to you for a full recovery

dreamstar

Leogirl wrote:

I had my baby on weds morning+ I believe I'd be losing a load of hair after that anyway. May as well chop it up soon+ ease my way into it :-)

Congratulations Leogirl!!!! That's lovely news. So fill us in - boy/girl?
I'd imagine that in itself is emotional enough without everything else. So focus on your new baba for a while.

Leogirl wrote:

Will definitely keep in touch- I think it'd help me having someone to talk to+ be free to be honest+ open about the chemotherapy+ the cancer. I know I'll be putting on a brave face for family+ friends.

Absolutely we will definitely keep in touch. I've no idea when I'll be starting the chemo as I've to do the IVF first. Not a clue how long it all takes.

dreamstar

Manufactured Miracle wrote:

I lost my hair but didn't lose my eyebrows. I'm due to finish my chemo (3 cycles of ABVD and 4 cycles of EscBEACOPP) in a couple of weeks (final day of chemo on Tuesday).

Your final day is next Tuesday? Wow that's amazing. Do you have anything nice planned for when it's over?

Once I get my schedule I'm getting a calander and marking everything in. I think crossing off each day will help a bit.

IRLConor

Leogirl wrote: »

I had my baby on weds morning

Congratulations!

Leogirl wrote: »

I know I'll be putting on a brave face for family+ friends.

If you want to do this because putting on a brave face makes you feel better then by all means do it. I wouldn't recommend putting on a brave face purely for the sake of your family and friends though. Now is not the time for self-sacrifice. Don't feel like you'll be putting them out. Most of them will want to help you and won't know how and will only be too glad to be given an opportunity to help whether it's practical stuff with the baby or just emotional support.

Exclamation Marc

dreamstar wrote: »

Your final day is next Tuesday? Wow that's amazing. Do you have anything nice planned for when it's over?

Once I get my schedule I'm getting a calander and marking everything in. I think crossing off each day will help a bit.

Nothing big planned yet. Have a final scan in 6/7 weeks to ascertain any activity so slightly apprehensive to celebrate in case I jinx myself!

The one thing I will say to anyone starting down the chemo road is that these last 7 months have absolutely flown by for me. I sat at the very start of everything thinking that the road ahead would be never-ending and it was so daunting. With the right people and right surroundings, the months will fly by and you'll surprise yourself.

Hopefully I am out of the woods now, but if not, I know I'm nearly there.

Always stay positive, it will get you through so much.

dreamstar

Manufactured Miracle wrote:

Nothing big planned yet. Have a final scan in 6/7 weeks to ascertain any activity so slightly apprehensive to celebrate in case I jinx myself!

Yeah I understand that - I'd be the same. Still its all very exciting that its nearly over. Please keep us updated.

Yeah I know it will fly in but at the minute it seems like an eternity until the end. I think even being off work for that long will be strange. I'll just have to find some new hobbies to occupy myself.

dreamstar

How you doing Leogirl? I've been thinking of you.

We're going through the ivf process now. Presume I'll start chemo soon after we're done in the ivf clinic. Which should be 3/4 weeks. I'm so eager to start the chemo asap. Its all I can think about so just want to start.

Leogirl

Hi. I'm doing ok. Kept busy with the baby+ trying to recover. Birth was hard+ I was really sick. Only got home this week so trying to be normal before the cancer stuff needs to be faced :-)

I've a ct scan on Monday+ a bone scan one Thursday, after that I was told ill have a few weeks before chemo starts. I need to really make the most of that time.

We are thinking of storing some eggs. I'm on tamoxifen for 5 years after chemo so it looks like I'd need help having another baby. I'm 38 though so another baby was never guaranteed anyway.

Sounds like we'll be starting chemo around same time. I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm seriously dreading losing my hair :-( I'm getting my head around scarves+ wig, gradually cutting my hair over next few weeks but even that terrfies me!! How are you feeling about that side of it?

dreamstar

Leogirl wrote:

Sounds like we'll be starting chemo around same time. I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm seriously dreading losing my hair :-( I'm getting my head around scarves+ wig, gradually cutting my hair over next few weeks but even that terrfies me!! How are you feeling about that side of it?

Honestly that's the part I'm most terrified about too. And I know it grows back and all but it's still scary. I think I'll definitely get a wig and I'll probably just shave it off before it starts falling out. I think it will be less traumatic for me.

The only thing is leogirl we're lucky its going to happen over the winter. A nice hat when we're out and nobody will know. I really think it would be a lot harder to hide in the summer.

If I'm honest the ivf stuff has me very distracted. I'm in the clinic every second day for scans etc. So hopefully we'll get a few little embryos. I'm sure your little bundle has you distracted too.

Hope you're feeling a bit better.

dreamstar

Got my appointment for Vincents for the chemo. Eeeek!
Next Monday. And my 30th birthday is that week. I'm hoping it won't actually start until after my birthday.

irishlady29

dreamstar wrote:

Got my appointment for Vincents for the chemo. Eeeek! Next Monday. And my 30th birthday is that week. I'm hoping it won't actually start until after my birthday.

Thinking a lot about you. Hope it goes ok for you

IRLConor

dreamstar wrote: »

Next Monday. And my 30th birthday is that week. I'm hoping it won't actually start until after my birthday.

Good luck!

I had chemo the day of my 18th birthday, so I know how you feel about that. I don't know about the plan for you, but for me there were a few days of tests before my first one so you might not start until after your birthday.

dreamstar

irishlady29 wrote:

Thinking a lot about you. Hope it goes ok for you

Thanks irishlady. I'll let you know how it goes. Hope you're doing ok.
Xxxx