Mad Neighbour Stories

BoredDOTie2014

I have a farmer neighbour who paints abusive comments on to the cows of other farmers he falls out with. Does anyone have any mad neighbour stories?

Yellowblackbird

What's his beef with you.

PirateShampoo

Mad?

That's genius.

NotCominBack

Shud ave moooved out

glynf

Brilliant. Love the idea of a cow wandering around with C**T or similar on the side of it.

degsie

Are the comments in cow language?

Charlie19

Mad cow designs.

Red Kev

That's Bull.

Collie D

I want photos of these cows. What kind of abuse is on them?

"Bet you enjoy playing with my udders, don't you...you filthy pervert"

OneArt

I used to live in a city which seemed to have a disproportionate amount of mad people.

There was one lady who used to live across the road from me. Probably about mid-forties, well-dressed and seemingly normal if you saw her in the supermarket or on the street. However, she very often used to have her living room window open and sit on the windowsill drinking a bottle of wine. She would sing constantly, one of her favorite songs being "Je Ne Regrette Rien". In between singing she would cackle like a witch, burst into tears and continue singing and shlugging her wine. She'd also wave and greet passers-by, but sometimes shouted insults at them. One unfortunate child nearly got a bottle of wine across the head. I saw her in the launderette one day and saw her go up to someone, take off all her clothes (everything, absolutely everything) and put them in a washing machine. Then she asked a horrified-looking Japanese girl if she could have a fiver.

A friend of mine (who lived on the same street) had another lady who lived upstairs from her. She was quiet most of the time, but at regular intervals her washing machine would break and flood the apartment. Of course, this started leaking through into my friend's ceiling. Other neighbors in the house wanted to know what the horrible smell was. The lady had locked her door and not been seen in several days, so the fire department, the ambulance and the police all showed up one night. They were banging on the door trying to get her to leave, but she kept screaming, "Go away! Go away! I don't have any money, leave me alone, you vampires!" or something to that effect. Eventually they had to break down the door and she was taken away to a mental facility. Returned the next week, though.

Another person I lived across the hall from didn't cause as much commotion. We had little plaques with our surnames on them beside the front door, but she'd ripped hers off and thrown it in the bin. I never heard much from her except for a television being to loud sometimes. Every now and then, though, usually in the small hours of the morning, you would hear the most unholy shriek from her apartment.

Though she technically wasn't a neighbor, there was a homeless lady who spent a lot of time on a street I lived (not the same one as the Je Ne Regrette Rien woman). She had different spots she would sit in during the day and evening and slept in some bushes at the end of the road. If you walked past them late at night and woke her up, she would growl at you. This lady also used to light cigarettes and watch them burn whilst talking to them. Sometimes at night, when I looked outside my apartment window, I could see her sitting next to a fire hydrant. She would normally be flicking a lighter, the flame illuminating her face. Was rather unsettling. She also used to shriek from time to time, though not as much as my other neighbor.

LETHAL LADY

I had a neighbour (since moved away) in her sixties who was a bit barmy to say the least. She could be found sunbathing every summer at the local effluent filled smelly river, lying in the thistle filled grass, with her saggy baps on show. I kind of admired her truth be told.:pac:

Supercell

I have a old fella as a neighbour a few doors down who likes to play diddly idle dee music at top volume (dial set to 11) with the front windows open.
In his front garden there are maybe 15 old style sweet bottles filled with water and aligned up carefully in a cross shape which are apparently for the local dogs and cats to drink from (I asked as curiosity was killing me), we must have very intelligent canines as they can unscrew the lids too it seems. Lately he has been putting flowers in some of them.

He likes to play hurling in the front garden with himself (whacks the ball off the front of his house). Or sit out in the evening reading a newspaper regardless of the time of year or weather.

For all that he is lovely fella to talk to. I think he has family further down the road that check in on him from time to time, which is probably for the best!

Sir Osis of Liver.

Had an OCD neighbour.He was a teacher in the local girls school.

Took the poor bastard an hour to leave the house every morning.He would walk out his gate ,go back and make sure the door was locked by shaking it vigorously,walk out the gate again,go back in and shake the door,repeating the cycle over and over.

Eventually he would stop the madness and head off to work,shaking his head,no doubt wondering if his front door was closed.

bop1977

I live next to a crazy b1tch of an old lady. She is retired and does nothing except make life a misery for me and two of my neighbours.

It goes in cycles, 3 weeks not a peep then in the fourth week all hell breaks loose. Take last night, I returned home at about 11pm and swing my car towards her drive way so I could reverse into my driveway. No sooner had I put the car into reverse, I saw an explosion of lights go on in her living room. Followed by her coming to her window and staring out, followed by her coming to her front door and watching me get out of my car and head inside.

To make matters worse she keeps calling the cops every couple of weeks and complains about being intimidated by me and the other two neighbours. If she was a man she would have gotten a hiding by now with all the crap she has pulled.

Boring username

OneArt wrote: »

I used to live in a city which seemed to have a disproportionate amount of mad people....

That could only be Galway.

scdublin

A woman in our area used to go to the local shops every single day and buy a bottle of wine and a box of tampons. She may have been drinking the wine but she was around 60 odd so I don't know what she needed the tampons for. Bless her...

The woman across the road from us used to feed our cat constantly and say she had him in her house sometimes. She also told us our name for him wasn't right and proceeded to call him boots. She was horrified when we told her he actually had a medical condition where he'd pee blood if he wasn't given a certain type of food (100% true, poor cat) and that she should watch out for p!ss around her house.

Mesrine65

I am the mad neighbour :eek:

harr

scdublin wrote: »

A woman in our area used to go to the local shops every single day and buy a bottle of wine and a box of tampons. She may have been drinking the wine but she was around 60 odd so I don't know what she needed the tampons for. Bless her...

The woman across the road from us used to feed our cat constantly and say she had him in her house sometimes. She also told us our name for him wasn't right and proceeded to call him boots. She was horrified when we told her he actually had a medical condition where he'd pee blood if he wasn't given a certain type of food (100% true, poor cat) and that she should watch out for p!ss around her house.

Soaking the tampons with wine then in they go ��

ToddyDoody

I had a neighbour who never carpetted the hall 15 years after living there. In you went and right onto the bare grey concrete. They put down laminate flooring in order to sell it a few months before moving.

Mesrine65

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I had a neighbour who never carpetted the hall 15 years after living there. In you went and right onto the bare grey concrete. They put down laminate flooring in order to sell it a few months before moving.

I have shelves made from recycled timber & cavity blocks in my house, similar to this...

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/88/2b/22/882b2237bf1b30d588182eae1968e917.jpg

OneArt

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I had a neighbour who never carpetted the hall 15 years after living there. In you went and right onto the bare grey concrete. They put down laminate flooring in order to sell it a few months before moving.

Carpets are f*cking disgusting, the amount of crap they collect is unreal. Rugs are fine because they're easier to clean.

People with nailed-down carpets are the insane ones.

eviltwin

I live next door to a family who make that lot in Shameless look like the royal family. Their newest thing is to bring their kitchen table and chairs out onto the street to eat their meals. Not the garden, the actual street :eek: I don't know why they have a house in the first place. All family arguments take place in the street it seems, you never hear anything from within the house. They seem to be a bit mentally ill, the parents would be late 40's but are very childlike when you talk to them. They are harmless and quite friendly but just very odd and I worry a lot about their young kids who don't seem to be well cared for.

jungleman

My old neighbour used to have his grandchildren over to stay with him for long periods. He'd throw their dirty nappies out the back door, and just leave them there in a big pile. My dog would happily go over to his, carry the nappies to our house, and joyfully rip them to shreds in our front garden. So I would come home from school and spend the next hour carefully picking up tiny shreds of nappies which were caked in **** and faeces.

On an unrelated note, same dog went up the road to a different house one day which was undergoing construction for an extension, and came back with a ham sandwich wrapped in tinfoil and a paper cup of coffee. She somehow managed to carry them back in a way that none of the coffee spilled out of the cup, which was amazing. (RIP Poppi 1996-2007 xxx)


My neighbour at the minute is a moron. We have shared parking in our estate, generally there are two parking spaces in front of each house. He decided one day to start parking his car in front of our house. This left a vacant space in front of his, so one of us would park our car there. Every now and again (always after a few beers, give him some courage) he would come around to ours and lecture us on parking etiquette, asking us to stop parking in front of his house. Even though he forced us into it by parking in front of ours.

Same neighbour also invites his friends and family to park in front of our house while they go on holiday. They drive up to our estate, park in front of our house (under his instructions I'm sure), he then drops them to the airport, and we are left with a car parked in front of our house taking up a space for 2-3 weeks at a time. Bloody knobhead.

Mesrine65

jungleman wrote: »

My neighbour at the minute is a moron. We have shared parking in our estate, generally there are two parking spaces in front of each house. He decided one day to start parking his car in front of our house. This left a vacant space in front of his, so one of us would park our car there. Every now and again (always after a few beers, give him some courage) he would come around to ours and lecture us on parking etiquette, asking us to stop parking in front of his house. Even though he forced us into it by parking in front of ours.

Same neighbour also invites his friends and family to park in front of our house while they go on holiday. They drive up to our estate, park in front of our house (under his instructions I'm sure), he then drops them to the airport, and we are left with a car parked in front of our house taking up a space for 2-3 weeks at a time. Bloody knobhead.

Buy a wheel clamp & use it, he'll get the message soon enough.

ihavenoname3

jungleman wrote: »

My old neighbour used to have his grandchildren over to stay with him for long periods. He'd throw their dirty nappies out the back door, and just leave them there in a big pile. My dog would happily go over to his, carry the nappies to our house, and joyfully rip them to shreds in our front garden. So I would come home from school and spend the next hour carefully picking up tiny shreds of nappies which were caked in **** and faeces.

On an unrelated note, same dog went up the road to a different house one day which was undergoing construction for an extension, and came back with a ham sandwich wrapped in tinfoil and a paper cup of coffee. She somehow managed to carry them back in a way that none of the coffee spilled out of the cup, which was amazing. (RIP Poppi 1996-2007 xxx)


My neighbour at the minute is a moron. We have shared parking in our estate, generally there are two parking spaces in front of each house. He decided one day to start parking his car in front of our house. This left a vacant space in front of his, so one of us would park our car there. Every now and again (always after a few beers, give him some courage) he would come around to ours and lecture us on parking etiquette, asking us to stop parking in front of his house. Even though he forced us into it by parking in front of ours.

Same neighbour also invites his friends and family to park in front of our house while they go on holiday. They drive up to our estate, park in front of our house (under his instructions I'm sure), he then drops them to the airport, and we are left with a car parked in front of our house taking up a space for 2-3 weeks at a time. Bloody knobhead.

would you think about installing a removable pole in the two car spaces outside your house? that would stop people parking in your spots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPdgNrm_HeE

DEFTLEFTHAND

I get wound up by landmowers and strimmers malfunctioning, Sometimes when I'm gardening I use very bad language and they stare over the wall at me and walk inside.

Titzon Toast

Strange how my neighbour's haven't posted anything about me in this thread yet.

jungleman

ihavenoname3 wrote: »

would you think about installing a removable pole in the two car spaces outside your house? that would stop people parking in your spots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPdgNrm_HeE

Might be something we could look into... I'd have to check if we are allowed to do it, we're renting and I'm not sure if it would be the council or the homeowner who owns the land outside of the house...

Spanish Eyes

I am the perfect neighbour.

Pity some of the rest of them are not. But most are, to be fair.

But that's life in the shmoke.

Specialun

I really really want to see these cows with "johnny your nothing but a cnut" on the side

Birneybau

Kalman wrote: »

Painting profanities on cows, how bizarre ?
Now it must take a rather strange person to indulge in this type of behaviour.
Would someone like to hazard a prognosis on the mental state of a person who resorts to that sort of thing ?


A job for 'men in white coats, perhaps?

Captain Buzzkill. People can't be characters anymore, they have to be labeled.

ihavenoname3

jungleman wrote: »

Might be something we could look into... I'd have to check if we are allowed to do it, we're renting and I'm not sure if it would be the council or the homeowner who owns the land outside of the house...

im pretty sure it will be the owner who owns the car spaces.

Kalman

Birneybau wrote: »

Captain Buzzkill. People can't be characters anymore, they have to be labeled.

Painting cows, are you serious?

CINCLANTFLT

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I get wound up by landmowers and strimmers malfunctioning, Sometimes when I'm gardening I use very bad language and they stare over the wall at me and walk inside.

Go on my son!

ArnoldJRimmer

Live in an apartment block, and had a neighbour who may have been suffering from PTSD. I'm only guessing this as he used to wear his army gear quite a bit despite not being active. He also had a dog, which are not allowed in the building, but exceptions are made in these circumstances. Any time I said hello, I'd be met with a vacant stare, and some nights, I'd hear him roar his head off.

He eventually moved out, and shortly after, I heard some shouting coming from the apartment. The door was open, and I looked in to see a couple of absolutely horrified cleaners. The place was absolutely disgusting, I have no idea how anyone could have lived like that.

Special Circumstances

Specialun wrote: »

I really really want to see these cows with "johnny your nothing but a cnut" on the side

It's an ancient tradition. Call out videos replaced the noble art of painting "yer only a sh1te in a bucket" on your rivals piebald.

anewme

Bought a new house . Had just collected keys from the Solicitors and signed up to years of debt. Very much an anti climax. Was wandering round the house with nothing in it when went upstairs and looked out the back window. Next door had a massive goats head in their garden. Severed at the neck. Not sure what happened to the rest of the poor goat but there was just a head. The next day, they stuck it on a bbq, set it on fire and stood staring at it. They also had a party and drank a load of cans, many of which ended up in my garden.��. I went out the day after the party and kindly returned the cans to their garden.


they also tried another "goats head incident" one Christmas Day when I had guests for dinner This Time the goats head would not light, so they poured petrol on it and the smoke was billowing everywhere. I could not see with the fog in the garden.. I could not take any more and legged it out to the garden and told them to eff off with the goats head. They looked at me as if I was mad!!!

They use to do other strange things like cut the grass at 11pm in the dark and once their car went on fire going down the m50 and they dumped it outside my house for. Months. Another neighbour complained it was an eyesore so they asked him did he want to buy it off them!!!��. Some other things like blaring music was sorted by a few Incidences of me of me putting on tv and stereo at full blast and going to the shop. They got the message.

youncould go ages with nothing happening and then something would happen out of the blue. Lawn mowing at 2 am was the oddest

Mint Aero

Nothing short of animal abuse OP. The ISPCC should be called. Was the paint used to mutilate the poor defenceless creatures certified as safe by the ECC?? How did the animals feels as a grotesque malevolent man plastered expletives across their pure sweet innocent bodies. It's disgusting is that OP. Call the ISPCC I say!

Ken.

We had a mad neighbour that use to complain we were making too much noise. Always on the phone to the landlady. One weekend we were all 3 of us in Dublin for one of the house mates birthdays. She complained again and we got the landlady down and showed her the credit card receipts for the 3 of us staying 2 nights in a hotel in Dublin.

She went straight next door and ripped your one apart. Told her if she rang her again she'd be reporting her to the cops for harassment. She never did bother us again but the stares afterwards would chill you to the bone.

ollkiller

Had a neighbour in an apartment block across the hall who once a week every week would come back roaring drunk banging on our front door. Open the door and get the usual "black and tan b******s, they took our jooobs, up the ra" etc etc". Lovely guy sober but one crazy fecker on the beer.

This went on for about a year until one day he came back roaring drunk again, knocked on the door and we ignored him and he went away. I went to pop out to the shop to grab some smokes and he had left his door open. Myself and the flatmate went into the gaff and he was unconscious on the couch so we moved everything around the opposite way. And i mean exactly the opposite way like a mirror reflection. Not a peep did we hear of him again.

bilbot79

In Scotland I lived in a tenement on the 3rd floor and on occasion I'd look out the window onto the street. On the opposite side however an old granny would do the same thing but she had this awful habit of scratching herself aswell. Eughh

bilbot79

Mint Aero wrote: »

Nothing short of animal abuse OP. The ISPCC should be called. Was the paint used to mutilate the poor defenceless creatures certified as safe by the ECC?? How did the animals feels as a grotesque malevolent man plastered expletives across their pure sweet innocent bodies. It's disgusting is that OP. Call the ISPCC I say!

So the ispcc are supposed to come out and protect cows from paint but do nothing about castration without anaesthetic or branding which is normal practice in farming?

Ulnar

Neighbour believes he's Jesus, he walks around in a white dressing gown and shawl/scarf combo, he doesn't wear shoes ever (local paper had a field day when he was caught on a stroll)

He still has his Christmas Tree up, with lights on 24/7

anewme

Your own, personal Jesus!

irishgirl19

jungleman wrote:

Same neighbour also invites his friends and family to park in front of our house while they go on holiday. They drive up to our estate, park in front of our house (under his instructions I'm sure), he then drops them to the airport, and we are left with a car parked in front of our house taking up a space for 2-3 weeks at a time. Bloody knobhead.

It would be a shame if the wind blew the plates off the car one night and you called the council and they towed the car away

tuxy

BoredDOTie2014 wrote: »

I have a farmer neighbour who paints abusive comments on to the cows of other farmers he falls out with. Does anyone have any mad neighbour stories?

Like this?
https://youtu.be/tYSqqW6hH0w?t=602

dinorebel

Kalman wrote: »

Painting profanities on cows, how bizarre ?
Now it must take a rather strange person to indulge in this type of behaviour.
Would someone like to hazard a prognosis on the mental state of a person who resorts to that sort of thing ?


A job for 'men in white coats, perhaps?

A Physcowiatrist maybe?

Cheese Wagstaff

A neighbour of mine (Neighbour 1) had been in an altercation with another neighbour (Neighbour 2) in the estate over the latter's dog doing his business on the green directly across from their house. It was a mild argument at the start until the second neighbour decided to flaunt his lack of empathy for them by taking the dog to the same place for toilet time, while staring in the kitchen window at the first neighbour's wife and smiling menacingly at her.

The wife tells her husband, and he marches up to the house looking for Neighbour 2. At that moment, Neighbour 2 was walking back to his house with a shovel. Neighbour 1 decides to run towards him to catch him while shouting. Neighbour 2 feels threatened by this, and proceeds to lay him out with the shovel. The impact knocks Neighbour 1 to the ground, unconscious.

Neighbour 2 goes back home, puts the shovel in the shed, and then drives to work.

Duke O Smiley

I have these neighbours, not next door but the door after, who, at the slightest indication of a nice day will go on a complete bender for the entire day. They do be smashed by midday and as the evening progresses he gets out of his head on coke or whatever and always, always goes mental. Shouting, screaming, kicking things, shouting, the lot. Hes a mental case. This happens every time they drink, and that is every time its nice out.

foxy farmer

My cattle broke out onto the road recently. They damaged my neighbours shrubs. Now he wants €50 to repair the damage.
Heres the damage!!!

DarkyHughes

BoredDOTie2014 wrote: »

I have a farmer neighbor who paints abusive comments on to the cows of other farmers he falls out with. Does anyone have any mad neighbour stories?

I live in Bray (Yes, the best town in Ireland, that Bray) & the estate I live in there's some family who are a bit unpleasant. Anyway one Christmas the parents of the family "had to" sell heroin to buy presents for their kids who would have been around ages 6, 5 & 1. I know this because the headline in the local weekly paper (The Bray People) had a a headline one week reading "Parents Sell Heroin To Buy Christmas Presents For Kids"