Hen Party Help Needed

Triceratops Ballet

A friend of mine organised a great hen in Dublin she hired a private apartment in the city centre and had food delivered, some kareoke and party games with drinks, and then they went out on the town (I think they ended up in coppers!!), those who wanted to then were able to stay in the apartment and do breakfast the next morning.

streetcar

You can do an activity in Dublin city fairly cheaply, book an early bird for the group and arrange access to a nightclub. A restaurant like Brasserie 66 has a great menu for this sort of thing and can accommodate a group easily.
But, an alternative to booking an activity is finding the right bar in town, with good seats and that will serve you platters. There are plenty of group games you can organise for early on in the evening and then serve the patters, enjoy your drinks and have a laugh.

I know you keep saying that you just want ideas but I think posters are only trying to give some perspective to a situation that you gave the background... With that said (!) IMO, a hen should be about getting your friends and family together to a bit of bonding and a few drinks. It doesn't have to be an "event" in itself and it shouldn't put people under pressure to spend money that they may not have. the best ones are when people are relaxed and up for a bit of a laugh. When people go feeling that they cant afford it or that they wouldn't choose to spend their hard earned money in this way, then you may find that you lose peoples enthusiasm and, therefore, the atmosphere for the evening. You want to have a great night and it doesn't matter whether you go to a five star hotel with lovely fluffy dressing gowns or a great little pub in Dublin city, you wont have a good night if everyone else going to the hen isn't having a good night.
If you still don't think that people didn't sign up for it because of the foreign wedding plus an overnight hen etc, but want to get to the bottom of it then maybe ask a close friend that you trust will tell you the truth (if you don't mind hearing the truth, no matter what it is!)

With that said, I hope it all works out for you - let us know what you ended up doing!

streetcar

You can do an activity in Dublin city fairly cheaply, book an early bird for the group and arrange access to a nightclub. A restaurant like Brasserie 66 has a great menu for this sort of thing and can accommodate a group easily.
But, an alternative to booking an activity is finding the right bar in town, with good seats and that will serve you platters. There are plenty of group games you can organise for early on in the evening and then serve the patters, enjoy your drinks and have a laugh.

I know you keep saying that you just want ideas but I think posters are only trying to give some perspective to a situation that you gave the background on in your initial post... With that said (!) IMO, a hen should be about getting your friends and family together to a bit of bonding and a few drinks. It doesn't have to be an "event" in itself and it shouldn't put people under pressure to spend money that they may not have. the best ones are when people are relaxed and up for a bit of a laugh. When people go feeling that they cant afford it or that they wouldn't choose to spend their hard earned money in this way, then you may find that you lose peoples enthusiasm and, therefore, the atmosphere for the evening. You want to have a great night and it doesn't matter whether you go to a five star hotel with lovely fluffy dressing gowns or a great little pub in Dublin city, you wont have a good night if everyone else going to the hen isn't having a good night.
If you still don't think that people didn't sign up for it because of the foreign wedding plus an overnight hen etc, but want to get to the bottom of it then maybe ask a close friend that you trust will tell you the truth (if you don't mind hearing the truth, no matter what it is!)

With that said, I hope it all works out for you - let us know what you ended up doing!

Uno my Uno.

amdublin wrote: »

Wedding away, hen party away, that's twice in a very short while!

I can't imagine many people can afford both. Hostel for the hen is all very well but on top of going away for a wedding it's all big money.

Well I don't know where the OP's Wedding is so maybe it is "Big Money" but my point was that that the hen party could still spend a night away and doesn't have to be extravagant. Perhaps its just my own friends or the difference between stags and hens but i think most of them would be disappointed if it was just a night out in town.

PhoenixParker

Not sure if they still do it, but my sister used to book the hotel above Coppers and stay there the odd time.

They give you free entry to the night club and you could put 3 or so in the room. With the free entry & saving the taxi home, it actually made the night cheaper overall. You could then book food in a restaurant nearby. Anyone who wants to come away for the night can, anyone who just wants dinner & drinks can head home whenever they like.

Electric Sheep

arayess wrote: »

It may be the wedding abroad has people strapped for cash.

But having been best man twice I can tell you this , you have to hound people for the money for the stag. i can only assume a hen is similar. You have to go into debt collector mode. It's not about them not having the money , it's having the wherewithall to actually go do something. In other words most people are useless.

Having useless bridesmaids doesn't help.

Why would you want to go away for a weekend with people you consider useless? Maybe they pick up on your contempt.

Milly33

OP seems to have disappeared..OOhhh did we have our very own bridezilla

Malari

Milly33 wrote: »

OP seems to have disappeared..OOhhh did we have our very own bridezilla

Crikey! It's less than a day since she last posted. Maybe she's working!

Milly33

Maybe I spend too much time here haha.. She hasn't really ans anyone back except for the first page

NewCorkLad

Milly33 wrote: »

OP seems to have disappeared..OOhhh did we have our very own bridezilla

Maybe she hasnt come back because she came on looking for some advice and help but instead just got judged by everyone with very little help.

Milly33

Not really ask a question on a public forum and you get lots of different answers..No one is saying anything harsh just saying it how it is

Toots

Give the OP a break, she's hardly online 24/7

Sligo1

Toots wrote: »

Give the OP a break, she's hardly online 24/7

Not like me....

Liam McPoyle

NewCorkLad wrote: »

Maybe she hasnt come back because she came on looking for some advice and help but instead just got judged by everyone with very little help.

Worst thing about this forum tbh. Its very helpful in many ways but Jesus some people cannot wait to get the holier than thou attitude out and sharpen their claws.

Alot of folk on here dont seem to be capable of giving an opinion or advice without being sanctimonious, very off putting Im sure for posters that arent overly familiar with the place.

Toots

I tell you my eyes have been opened since I started modding here! It's sad cos often weddings can bring out the worst in people, and its usually a fairly emotive topic.

Usually when I see the word "gift" in a thread title, I know there'll be posts reported!

Robyn_14

Business Cat wrote: »

Worst thing about this forum tbh. Its very helpful in many ways but Jesus some people cannot wait to get the holier than thou attitude out and sharpen their claws.

Alot of folk on here dont seem to be capable of giving an opinion or advice without being sanctimonious, very off putting Im sure for posters that arent overly familiar with the place.

Couldn't agree more.... I'm getting married abroad, I tried to organise a cheap hen night in Dublin but my friends wanted to have a night away the gang of us. I made sure I organised it myself to make sure the costs are kept down cos I am conscious of the fact the wedding is abroad.
Many of my friends have mentioned that hens are hard to organise with people being slow about money so I'm not sure it's about them politely trying to say they have no money

Toots

OP I've been involved with organising a few hens, and yes they can be difficult to organise - there's usually a few stragglers RSVPing or paying their way, but I've never experienced a situation where ALL the girls didn't pay!

You mentioned that your bridesmaids are useless - what way do you mean? Have any of them been BM before? Have they been any help to you at all? When you say you're on the young side of 25, are all your BMs the same age, or younger? Are you the first one in your group to get married? (sorry for all the questions BTW, I'm not judging you for being young, I turned 25 a couple of days before my wedding)

TBH, I'd be slow to book anything at all until you've sat them all down and explained that you need a firm commitment from all of them that they'll come and they'll pay.

Are you sure that the reason they didn't pay was because they can't afford to? They may not have said anything because they didn't want to hurt your feelings. Sit them down and ask them to be honest, tell them that your feelings won't be hurt, but you don't want to be asking them to put themselves under pressure. If that is the reason, then you'll need to re-think your plans. A cheap and cheerful early bird, and then a few drinks would be the best thing. Maybe stick in a tour on the Ghost bus or something if you like.

If it's definitely not that they can't afford it, and it's just a case that they're not all that bothered, then I absolutely wouldn't book anything on your own. Go as a group and book it, and pay the deposit as a group. If that's how they are, then if you book something and pay the deposit yourself, then you could be very well left out of pocket with a few texts of "oh I meant to say, I can't go. Meant to tell you weeks ago but forgot" and only one or two people at the hen.

Milly33

Jes OP sorry if that comes across the wrong way I meant it in a light hearted way nothing serious, some people just pick you up wrong... Say no more

Anywho, while thinking wedding wedding wedding last night. If you did want to travel somewhere or well they do it in your own venue too you could try Murder on the Menu.. They do hen packages. would love to do it but don't have that many friends haha.. But they aren't bad goes from €40 I think

thatgirl1

Thanks for the ideas everyone, some great ones in there, and some very judgy ones too! Haven't got time to go through them all individually.

I haven't been on because like people said I am in work and I do have a life! Have put two ideas together for them to choose from (including my mam and his mam, have also appealed to all those I originally invited for their ideas as to what they would like like, no responses yet.

To the person that asked, when I say useless I mean even after asking for help with the hen party (or even anything) is met with with resistance, and I chose them because I thought they would be the best people for the job, clearly I can see I was wrong!

Also to whoever asked about my age , when I say the younger side of 25 I mean a few years younger, all of my friends would be around the same age.

Toots

Have any of them been a bridesmaid before?

thatgirl1

Toots wrote: »

Have any of them been a bridesmaid before?

Nope, but at my age, none of my close friends or family have been, so I tried to choose who I thought was best.

lazygal

thatgirl1 wrote: »

Nope, but at my age, none of my close friends or family have been, so I tried to choose who I thought was best.

Best for what? What do you expect them to do?

Sligo1

lazygal wrote: »

Best for what? What do you expect them to do?

Ah come on now. There's no need to start down this road. Usually when people pick BMs it because they are the brides best mates and they are there for support and to help the bride with bits and pieces including a hen if there is one. That's pretty obvious.

Perhaps "expect" wasn't the right word but it's all semantics. The bride is very young here. Her and her friends are obviously all very new to this wedding malarkey. No need to be giving her a hard time and having a go at her "expectations" or whatever. She's quite entitled to think her BMs should be there to support her choices and help her out with a few bits and pieces.

thatgirl1

Sligo1 wrote: »

Ah come on now. There's no need to start down this road. Usually when people pick BMs it because they are the brides best mates and they are there for support and to help the bride with bits and pieces including a hen if there is one. That's pretty obvious.

Perhaps "expect" wasn't the right word but it's all semantics. The bride is very young here. Her and her friends are obviously all very new to this wedding malarkey. No need to be giving her a hard time and having a go at her "expectations" or whatever. She's quite entitled to think her BMs should be there to support her choices and help her out with a few bits and pieces.

Thanks Sligo1, you're on the money!

My "expectations" as you put them, would be for at least some help and support, I honestly didn't think that'd be too much to ask, it's not like I'm asking them to plan the wedding for me!

Toots

I was wondering when you said you were young would this be the first rodeo for some of your BMs. That being said, even if it is their first time being a bridesmaid, it's common knowledge that part of being a bridesmaid is that you help the bride! I mean the clue is in the name ffs!

Have you actually outrightly asked them in black and white: I need you to help me organise my hen weekend?

If you have, and they still haven't bothered their holes doing anything, then that's just lousy. How have they been with going to dress fittings/choosing their dresses, etc?

From what you're describing, I'd make sure you have other family/relatives/friends lined up on the wedding day if you need a hand (getting to the loo, bustling your dress, etc) because it doesn't sound like you'd be able to count on your BMs.

thatgirl1

I thought that too, but obviously not!

I have asked them outright, but I've gotten very little in rresponse, kind of along the lines of 'oh yeah, must get something planned' and that'd be it! They've been the same for dress fittings too, they came eventually, but it takes forever! Not exactly ideal.

Definitely will have mum on hand for the day to help with my dress/other bits!

Toots

I suppose it's too late to give them the boot?

thatgirl1

Toots wrote: »

I suppose it's too late to give them the boot?

Just a little! :-P

PLL

I'm 24 and if one of my friends got married she would be sick of me I would so excited. However, I have been in a relationship 5 years so weddings/babies/interior design etc excite me because they are part of my life. Maybe your friends are single or not in long term relationships and just don't get the whole excitement yet. I only have one other friend in a relationship (8 months) and the rest are single so I'd say they wouldn't take it too seriously either.

I wish you the best of luck OP I hope you find a compromise between what you will enjoy. Health, wealth, and happiness to you and your future husband.

Toots

Back to the drawing board! Has your OH got any sisters? Would it be nice for you and your mum, his mum, his sisters, a few of your female relatives to have a spa day or something, if your bridesmaids are going to be unreliable.