Hen Party Help Needed

thatgirl1

Hi all,

Wondering if you could help me out!

I am planning my own hen party (let's just say my bms are nothing short of useless!), and had something all planned out for 11th April (not all entirely what I wanted, but hey, compromises!), long story short, the girls didn't come up with the money (or min numbers needed) in time (despite being given almost 2 months notice for the deposit!) and so we've lost our slot.

Now I'm completely at a loss as for what to do. Was thinking of spa night, with meal, nightclub entry, b&b for in and around the same price as I had gotten the other deal for (I had managed to get b&b, dinner, free drink, limo and entry to the butlers chocolate experience (special hen party tour) and also a nightclub for 119pp). Saw a great deal for a spa night inc. most of the above plus cocktail class in Roganstown House for 125pp but it's literally booked solid for the entire month of April and as we're getting married abroad in June, I figured that was the latest we could have it.

Any ideas would be great!

HelgaWard

Maybe your friends don't want to go to an expensive hen night as well as traveling abroad for the wedding? Sounds like that, if you had a it all planned and they didn't give you the €s! Try to do something that doesn't cost a lot of money, like just a meal for anyone who can make it, and reserve an area in a pub, anyone who can't make the meal, just meets ye in the pub? Or do you have a house, you could have a good old fashioned girls night in? Drinks, nibbles, karaoke etc? Or else if ye are travelling a few days before the wedding you could have your hen night out over there?

benjani825

carrick on shannon is the best place i have been for both hens and stags

username000

Your wedding is abroad and you want people to go away for your hens as well? Thats going to be very expensive.

Why dont you just have a cheap hens, a bit of a party in your house with nibbles and drinks til 10pm or so and then off to a pub/niteclub later on? That way its not too dear and people can kind of choose what bits to go to - if they just go to the house bit youll still see them etc....

thatgirl1

HelgaWard wrote: »

Maybe your friends don't want to go to an expensive hen night as well as traveling abroad for the wedding? Sounds like that, if you had a it all planned and they didn't give you the €s! Try to do something that doesn't cost a lot of money, like just a meal for anyone who can make it, and reserve an area in a pub, anyone who can't make the meal, just meets ye in the pub? Or do you have a house, you could have a good old fashioned girls night in? Drinks, nibbles, karaoke etc? Or else if ye are travelling a few days before the wedding you could have your hen night out over there?

It's not that at all, they were all perfectly happy with the idea when I originally went to them with it, none of them had an issue with the price (which was a concern of mine), they were more concered about nightclub entry (which I'm not a huge fan of!), they just didn't pay, despite them telling me they were going.

Unfortunately, the house thing wouldn't be an option as we live in an apartment, so theres not a whole lot of room, with most of my friends still living at home (let's just say I'm on the younger side of 25, as are they so they're still with their folks!) and my parents house is pretty far in the middle of the country, while most people are in Dublin, so that was another of my concerns, to keep it in Dublin.

Thanks for the ideas though, appreciated

cactusgal

Wowza, I def wouldn't expect anyone to attend an expensive hen weekend with an overnight stay if you're having your wedding abroad! There's obviously a reason why the girls didn't jump at the idea.

+1 to the posters who've suggested a simple get together at home or in the pub.

cactusgal

Sorry, our posts crossed, just saw your other one.

thatgirl1

username000 wrote: »

Your wedding is abroad and you want people to go away for your hens as well? Thats going to be very expensive.

Why dont you just have a cheap hens, a bit of a party in your house with nibbles and drinks til 10pm or so and then off to a pub/niteclub later on? That way its not too dear and people can kind of choose what bits to go to - if they just go to the house bit youll still see them etc....

Thanks for the suggestion, but as mentioned earlier, not really an option as far as the house thing goes!

thatgirl1

cactusgal wrote: »

Wowza, I def wouldn't expect anyone to attend an expensive hen weekend with an overnight stay if you're having your wedding abroad! There's obviously a reason why the girls didn't jump at the idea.

+1 to the posters who've suggested a simple get together at home or in the pub.

Thanks again for the suggestion, not getting at you in particular, but I'm looking for ideas for nice places within that price range, not to be told to do it more cheaply.

thatgirl1

benjani825 wrote: »

carrick on shannon is the best place i have been for both hens and stags

Thanks benjani , I'll have a look, was hoping to keep it within Dublin though.

Uno my Uno.

I'd say cost is the main issue here, they might not have said it to your face but the fact that they didn't come up with the money makes it pretty clear. A night away for a stag or hen can be done pretty cheaply and at short notice, you'll just need to revise your budget.

username000

What about renting a holiday cottage(s) and then having a bit of a party there with food/drinks before heading off to pub/niteclub?

These ones in Tibradden are cool: http://www.dublincottages.com/
And its not that far to Dundrum where you could go to a nice bar and then a niteclub?

thatgirl1

Uno my Uno. wrote: »

I'd say cost is the main issue here, they might not have said it to your face but the fact that they didn't come up with the money makes it pretty clear. A night away for a stag or hen can be done pretty cheaply and at short notice, you'll just need to revise your budget.

Any suggestions? That's really what I'm looking for here. Thanks

thatgirl1

username000 wrote: »

What about renting a holiday cottage(s) and then having a bit of a party there with food/drinks before heading off to pub/niteclub

That seems like a nice idea, something a bit different too. I'll have a look into it . Thanks

username000

Ooh - I just thought of one - I think you can rent out a barge on the canal and have a party on it!

Yeah - there are a few: http://lapeniche.ie/exclusive-hire/hen-party-barge/

You could get a hotel nearby for after?

Milly33

mmm it sounds like something is suss.. do you mean to say useless with the bridesmaids in like a funny way or they are just shocking..Would be wondering why your having them if they are crap!!

But after all that pondering..I would say just book a table someplace for dinner, with no deposit needed, get an early bird or ask the restaurant to arrange a menu price for the bunch and just leave it at that.. Seems like the ladies who should be doing it either don't want to do it, or are just being muppets. So this way you wont loose anything really youll have a nice dinner out and a few drinks

Honestly, I know it's not what you want to hear, but if they didn't pay it was for a reason. You also said that you didn't meet minimum numbers for your original plan. I don't mean to sound cold - but perhaps take the hint?

Asking people to go away for your wedding and for your hen is just too much, and it sounds as if your friends just don't have the heart to tell you. I'm going to a wedding away too this year, and the hen weekend is also away and it's definitely put a bad taste in peoples mouths.

How about booking something more local? Dinner and reserve a section in a late bar/club?

Uno my Uno.

thatgirl1 wrote: »

Any suggestions? That's really what I'm looking for here. Thanks

Well if you're set on going away I would suggest picking a city such as Cork or Galway and look at hostel style accommodation. There are excellent hostels around for a fraction of the price of even a cheap hotel. If that's not suitable you could look at renting a holiday home for the weekend and splitting the cost, that can often be quite cheap also.

If all of that fails I would suggest Dinner and Night Club in your home town, essentially a good night out and everyone can spend as much or as little as they want.

Malari

People will be slow to say to your face that they can't afford to go OP, it can be embarrassing, but as long as they didn't pay a deposit, you can't really take their initial enthusiasm as confirming they definitely want to go.

I'm not sure how many people you are talking about here, but perhaps price your own preferred option, and then one about half that price maybe more local, then email the options and ask for a vote? Put a time deadline on it so you are not hanging for too long. It's a lot easier to say no to something when you are saying yes to something else! Especially if they could leave before the nightclub, for example. Or join you after a meal maybe for drinks only.

homemadecider

Early bird dinner followed by a nearby pub.

If someone expected me to go away for a hen as well as a wedding I would refuse as well. Like someone else said, take the hint.

lazygal

I wouldn't go to a night away hen regardless of cost as it is completely over the top. What's wrong with dinner drinks? Hen and stag nights away are extremely self indulgent.

tarmon

+1 for Carrick on Shannon. Lots of great places to stay, restaurants, pubs and nightclubs. Its only 10 min from Lough Key Forest Park which has lots of great activities like the Boda Borg (crystal maze type thing), boat hire and Segways! The Segways are great fun and I'm sure they'd make a very memorable hen party!

amor3

thatgirl1 wrote: »

Any suggestions? That's really what I'm looking for here. Thanks

Carrick on Shannon as already mentioned. My hens is there in august. Great packages available and the house sleep 10 people. Think its 119 (can double check definite prices) which includes 4 course meal with drinks, cocktails an champagne in nightclub, activity, 2 nights accommodation, finger food in reserved area of pub. To add the train is about 50 euro or you could car share our look into mini bus hire.

Uno my Uno.

lazygal wrote: »

I wouldn't go to a night away hen regardless of cost as it is completely over the top. What's wrong with dinner drinks? Hen and stag nights away are extremely self indulgent.

Ah no it's great to get away for a carefree weekend with your friends. People do go over the top with activities or accommodation sometimes but it doesn't have to be that way.

amdublin

If I were you, based on what you have posted, I'd be arranging a local pub night out and then on to the nightclub.

Sounds to me like your friends either don't have the money or want to spend the money on a big hen.

If you continue with your plans you will end up out of pocket and disappointed.

arayess

Deleted User wrote: »

Honestly, I know it's not what you want to hear, but if they didn't pay it was for a reason. You also said that you didn't meet minimum numbers for your original plan. I don't mean to sound cold - but perhaps take the hint?

?

It may be the wedding abroad has people strapped for cash.

But having been best man twice I can tell you this , you have to hound people for the money for the stag. i can only assume a hen is similar. You have to go into debt collector mode. It's not about them not having the money , it's having the wherewithall to actually go do something. In other words most people are useless.

Having useless bridesmaids doesn't help.

lazygal

Uno my Uno. wrote: »

Ah no it's great to get away for a carefree weekend with your friends. People do go over the top with activities or accommodation sometimes but it doesn't have to be that way.

But the friends are already going away for the wedding. Why does any one need to have a weekend away just because they're getting married? It's a Celtic tiger thing that should be left to that era.

Uno my Uno.

lazygal wrote: »

But the friends are already going away for the wedding. Why does any one need to have a weekend away just because they're getting married? It's a Celtic tiger thing that should be left to that era.

Because its fun to go away with just your friends every once in a while?

My own experience of Stag parties is that everyone loves going away for a night or two but that they don't want it to cost too much. If there is a group sharing a hostel or AirBnB accommodation it can be done very cheaply, nothing Celtic Tiger about spending two nights in a hostel in Cork.

Milly33

username000 wrote: »

Ooh - I just thought of one - I think you can rent out a barge on the canal and have a party on it!

Yeah - there are a few: http://lapeniche.ie/exclusive-hire/hen-party-barge/

You could get a hotel nearby for after?

OHHHH I want a barge this looks great

amdublin

Uno my Uno. wrote: »

Because its fun to go away with just your friends every once in a while?

My own experience of Stag parties is that everyone loves going away for a night or two but that they don't want it to cost too much. If there is a group sharing a hostel or AirBnB accommodation it can be done very cheaply, nothing Celtic Tiger about spending two nights in a hostel in Cork.

Wedding away, hen party away, that's twice in a very short while!

I can't imagine many people can afford both. Hostel for the hen is all very well but on top of going away for a wedding it's all big money.

CurvesAndBoots

Hi, you could try the Osprey Hotel in Naas? they have a €75 package, for overnight stay, meal in the restuarant, with breakfast and use of their swimming pool sauna etc and free entry into their nightclub..its great fun down there me and my friends go anytime the packages run the deals or they have the €105 package that will include all the above, plus a spa treatment
Have a great hens!

Triceratops Ballet

A friend of mine organised a great hen in Dublin she hired a private apartment in the city centre and had food delivered, some kareoke and party games with drinks, and then they went out on the town (I think they ended up in coppers!!), those who wanted to then were able to stay in the apartment and do breakfast the next morning.

streetcar

You can do an activity in Dublin city fairly cheaply, book an early bird for the group and arrange access to a nightclub. A restaurant like Brasserie 66 has a great menu for this sort of thing and can accommodate a group easily.
But, an alternative to booking an activity is finding the right bar in town, with good seats and that will serve you platters. There are plenty of group games you can organise for early on in the evening and then serve the patters, enjoy your drinks and have a laugh.

I know you keep saying that you just want ideas but I think posters are only trying to give some perspective to a situation that you gave the background... With that said (!) IMO, a hen should be about getting your friends and family together to a bit of bonding and a few drinks. It doesn't have to be an "event" in itself and it shouldn't put people under pressure to spend money that they may not have. the best ones are when people are relaxed and up for a bit of a laugh. When people go feeling that they cant afford it or that they wouldn't choose to spend their hard earned money in this way, then you may find that you lose peoples enthusiasm and, therefore, the atmosphere for the evening. You want to have a great night and it doesn't matter whether you go to a five star hotel with lovely fluffy dressing gowns or a great little pub in Dublin city, you wont have a good night if everyone else going to the hen isn't having a good night.
If you still don't think that people didn't sign up for it because of the foreign wedding plus an overnight hen etc, but want to get to the bottom of it then maybe ask a close friend that you trust will tell you the truth (if you don't mind hearing the truth, no matter what it is!)

With that said, I hope it all works out for you - let us know what you ended up doing!

streetcar

You can do an activity in Dublin city fairly cheaply, book an early bird for the group and arrange access to a nightclub. A restaurant like Brasserie 66 has a great menu for this sort of thing and can accommodate a group easily.
But, an alternative to booking an activity is finding the right bar in town, with good seats and that will serve you platters. There are plenty of group games you can organise for early on in the evening and then serve the patters, enjoy your drinks and have a laugh.

I know you keep saying that you just want ideas but I think posters are only trying to give some perspective to a situation that you gave the background on in your initial post... With that said (!) IMO, a hen should be about getting your friends and family together to a bit of bonding and a few drinks. It doesn't have to be an "event" in itself and it shouldn't put people under pressure to spend money that they may not have. the best ones are when people are relaxed and up for a bit of a laugh. When people go feeling that they cant afford it or that they wouldn't choose to spend their hard earned money in this way, then you may find that you lose peoples enthusiasm and, therefore, the atmosphere for the evening. You want to have a great night and it doesn't matter whether you go to a five star hotel with lovely fluffy dressing gowns or a great little pub in Dublin city, you wont have a good night if everyone else going to the hen isn't having a good night.
If you still don't think that people didn't sign up for it because of the foreign wedding plus an overnight hen etc, but want to get to the bottom of it then maybe ask a close friend that you trust will tell you the truth (if you don't mind hearing the truth, no matter what it is!)

With that said, I hope it all works out for you - let us know what you ended up doing!

Uno my Uno.

amdublin wrote: »

Wedding away, hen party away, that's twice in a very short while!

I can't imagine many people can afford both. Hostel for the hen is all very well but on top of going away for a wedding it's all big money.

Well I don't know where the OP's Wedding is so maybe it is "Big Money" but my point was that that the hen party could still spend a night away and doesn't have to be extravagant. Perhaps its just my own friends or the difference between stags and hens but i think most of them would be disappointed if it was just a night out in town.

PhoenixParker

Not sure if they still do it, but my sister used to book the hotel above Coppers and stay there the odd time.

They give you free entry to the night club and you could put 3 or so in the room. With the free entry & saving the taxi home, it actually made the night cheaper overall. You could then book food in a restaurant nearby. Anyone who wants to come away for the night can, anyone who just wants dinner & drinks can head home whenever they like.

Electric Sheep

arayess wrote: »

It may be the wedding abroad has people strapped for cash.

But having been best man twice I can tell you this , you have to hound people for the money for the stag. i can only assume a hen is similar. You have to go into debt collector mode. It's not about them not having the money , it's having the wherewithall to actually go do something. In other words most people are useless.

Having useless bridesmaids doesn't help.

Why would you want to go away for a weekend with people you consider useless? Maybe they pick up on your contempt.

Milly33

OP seems to have disappeared..OOhhh did we have our very own bridezilla

Malari

Milly33 wrote: »

OP seems to have disappeared..OOhhh did we have our very own bridezilla

Crikey! It's less than a day since she last posted. Maybe she's working!

Milly33

Maybe I spend too much time here haha.. She hasn't really ans anyone back except for the first page

NewCorkLad

Milly33 wrote: »

OP seems to have disappeared..OOhhh did we have our very own bridezilla

Maybe she hasnt come back because she came on looking for some advice and help but instead just got judged by everyone with very little help.

Milly33

Not really ask a question on a public forum and you get lots of different answers..No one is saying anything harsh just saying it how it is

Toots

Give the OP a break, she's hardly online 24/7

Sligo1

Toots wrote: »

Give the OP a break, she's hardly online 24/7

Not like me....

Liam McPoyle

NewCorkLad wrote: »

Maybe she hasnt come back because she came on looking for some advice and help but instead just got judged by everyone with very little help.

Worst thing about this forum tbh. Its very helpful in many ways but Jesus some people cannot wait to get the holier than thou attitude out and sharpen their claws.

Alot of folk on here dont seem to be capable of giving an opinion or advice without being sanctimonious, very off putting Im sure for posters that arent overly familiar with the place.

Toots

I tell you my eyes have been opened since I started modding here! It's sad cos often weddings can bring out the worst in people, and its usually a fairly emotive topic.

Usually when I see the word "gift" in a thread title, I know there'll be posts reported!

Robyn_14

Business Cat wrote: »

Worst thing about this forum tbh. Its very helpful in many ways but Jesus some people cannot wait to get the holier than thou attitude out and sharpen their claws.

Alot of folk on here dont seem to be capable of giving an opinion or advice without being sanctimonious, very off putting Im sure for posters that arent overly familiar with the place.

Couldn't agree more.... I'm getting married abroad, I tried to organise a cheap hen night in Dublin but my friends wanted to have a night away the gang of us. I made sure I organised it myself to make sure the costs are kept down cos I am conscious of the fact the wedding is abroad.
Many of my friends have mentioned that hens are hard to organise with people being slow about money so I'm not sure it's about them politely trying to say they have no money

Toots

OP I've been involved with organising a few hens, and yes they can be difficult to organise - there's usually a few stragglers RSVPing or paying their way, but I've never experienced a situation where ALL the girls didn't pay!

You mentioned that your bridesmaids are useless - what way do you mean? Have any of them been BM before? Have they been any help to you at all? When you say you're on the young side of 25, are all your BMs the same age, or younger? Are you the first one in your group to get married? (sorry for all the questions BTW, I'm not judging you for being young, I turned 25 a couple of days before my wedding)

TBH, I'd be slow to book anything at all until you've sat them all down and explained that you need a firm commitment from all of them that they'll come and they'll pay.

Are you sure that the reason they didn't pay was because they can't afford to? They may not have said anything because they didn't want to hurt your feelings. Sit them down and ask them to be honest, tell them that your feelings won't be hurt, but you don't want to be asking them to put themselves under pressure. If that is the reason, then you'll need to re-think your plans. A cheap and cheerful early bird, and then a few drinks would be the best thing. Maybe stick in a tour on the Ghost bus or something if you like.

If it's definitely not that they can't afford it, and it's just a case that they're not all that bothered, then I absolutely wouldn't book anything on your own. Go as a group and book it, and pay the deposit as a group. If that's how they are, then if you book something and pay the deposit yourself, then you could be very well left out of pocket with a few texts of "oh I meant to say, I can't go. Meant to tell you weeks ago but forgot" and only one or two people at the hen.

Milly33

Jes OP sorry if that comes across the wrong way I meant it in a light hearted way nothing serious, some people just pick you up wrong... Say no more

Anywho, while thinking wedding wedding wedding last night. If you did want to travel somewhere or well they do it in your own venue too you could try Murder on the Menu.. They do hen packages. would love to do it but don't have that many friends haha.. But they aren't bad goes from €40 I think

thatgirl1

Thanks for the ideas everyone, some great ones in there, and some very judgy ones too! Haven't got time to go through them all individually.

I haven't been on because like people said I am in work and I do have a life! Have put two ideas together for them to choose from (including my mam and his mam, have also appealed to all those I originally invited for their ideas as to what they would like like, no responses yet.

To the person that asked, when I say useless I mean even after asking for help with the hen party (or even anything) is met with with resistance, and I chose them because I thought they would be the best people for the job, clearly I can see I was wrong!

Also to whoever asked about my age , when I say the younger side of 25 I mean a few years younger, all of my friends would be around the same age.

Toots

Have any of them been a bridesmaid before?