Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

I dont want them 4 or 5 times a year

  • 02-11-2014 1:16am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭


    About 4 years ago ago I met a woman in the out patients dept of a hosp. We got chatting and discovered we suffered with the same complaint. We kept in contact and of course me and my big mouth says you'll have to come and visit me. We live in different parts of the country. The very next month she arrived foe the weekend ( which i did not mind in the least ). The next year her and her daughter came and for 3 solid days they never left the house. In July this year her and the daughter came again and i had the house spotless. Well if my blood didnt boil when I caught the daughter examining the knives and forks before we had dinner I said to my daughter that I was going to say something but she wouldnt let me. Last month they landed again This time the daughter only left the house to get supplies to make her own dinner. A few times I commented how mary was going to make the dinner for everyone. OH I only bought enough for myself she says. So the two of them sits for another 3 days with the tv blaring as loud as it could go, and everyone shouting at each other to make themselves heard But I know I should have said something when the daughter said Mum you should come here a few days a week when I am at collage sure you will only be sitting at home on your own ()she is a single mother)Last night the dreaded phone all came asking could she come for a few days as she is in bad form and lonely now the daughter is back at scchool. I told her I would have to ok it with my husband, I couldnt think of anything else to say.We definately dont want to see her so soon again


«13

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,571 ✭✭✭0byme75341jo28


    Tell her to fúck off.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,029 ✭✭✭shedweller


    Lifes too short to put up with that nonsense. They are taking the p!ss and they know it. The longer you leave this the harder it will be to finish it so finish it now and tell them not to come back.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 500 ✭✭✭indigo twist


    Then say no ... :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    Burn down the house and tell them you're homeless -they'll stay somewhere else.


    Or just say no??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 712 ✭✭✭Simonigs1.0


    Have I missed something or why haven't you told her to **** off?


  • Advertisement
  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,184 ✭✭✭✭Lapin


    Tell her you'd like a few days break yourself and ask her if it ok or you to go to her place for a few days.

    If she says no, thats your cue to tell her to fuck off.

    If she says yes. Land up on her doorstep at 7 the following morning, with your husband, the kids, dogs, cats and three large suitcases each and move in for a fortnight.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    You have to be cruel to be kind sometimes. 'Really need some time with my family/by myself/others close to me' which wouldn't be too far from the truth.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    Have I missed something or why haven't you told her to **** off?

    because i am my own worst enemy I could not do it


  • Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,403 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    Has no one suggested burning the house down yet?



    You really do have to tell them you don't want them visiting again. It's tough but it has to be done.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 239 ✭✭shuffles88




    She doesn't happen to look like the female version of Father Stone does she?

    I think you need to be honest with this person. It all sounds like an awful imposition on you and your family. Tell her sorry but no. Do you even enjoy her company?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭Vincent Vega


    Shame you didn't post this sooner.
    You could have brought them along to AH beers tonight, got some other users in on it and weirded them out enough to see them off for good. :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Just say, "sorry Mary. Some other time, maybe"


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 87 ✭✭Heisenberg88


    Just tell em that now is not a good time. I am constipated and my husband it waiting to eat it should work. Will never hear from them again.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 424 ✭✭Chunners


    lulu1 wrote: »
    because i am my own worst enemy I could not do it

    Sure when they come where are they staying/sleeping? I assume it is in one of your kids rooms? just tell her she can't come because it disrupts your kids schedule and if she doesn't like it then tough titty, it's not your responsibility to look after her while her daughter swans off to college. IF her daughter is so concerned then let her give up her days to entertain her mother


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    Lapin wrote: »
    Tell her you'd like a few days break yourself and ask her if it ok or you to go to her place for a few days.

    If she says no, thats your cue to tell her to fuck off.

    If she says yes. Land up on her doorstep at 7 the following morning, with your husband, the kids, dogs, cats and three large suitcases each and move in for a fortnight.

    I did suggest that i might go to her for a few days oh she says we have only two rooms you will have to stay in the b/b


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    May I please be the first to suggest burning your house down?

    It is the only way.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,995 ✭✭✭Sofiztikated


    "We're away,"

    Keep saying it until they get the hint.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    catallus wrote: »
    May I please be the first to suggest burning your house down?

    It is the only way.

    Sorry to late someone got in before ye anyway i am offf to bed before someone burns it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    lulu1 wrote: »
    Sorry to late someone got in before ye anyway i am offf to bed before someone burns it

    But arson is still an option, yes?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 134 ✭✭eug87




  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    "We're away,"

    Keep saying it until they get the hint.

    Or how would this sound

    HER Can i come for a few days next week

    ME Oh god sorry we're away the very same week


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,435 ✭✭✭wandatowell


    This is my worst nightmare come through.


    Fcuk them You don't need them in your life.




    Fake your death.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 477 ✭✭The Strawman Argument


    You've gotta tell her to f*ck off (can be done more politely though, I'm sure), she's not your responsiblity and you're not helping her if it's something you realistically can't keep doing forever. My mam has one of these problem people hassling her at home these days and she's only gotten worse, she's just gonna lay into you more and more until you sever ties at this stage.

    It's a bad idea to let people become dependent on you like that, you've to ensure there's some sign of a road toward improvement because you can't count on them to do so, like.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    catallus wrote: »
    But arson is still an option, yes?

    i will sleep on it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    lulu1 wrote: »
    i will sleep on it

    Backslider:mad:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭nc19


    Start charging her........


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭nc19


    Start charging her........


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Or how about suggest she stay in a b n b too, just say you find it a little cramped


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 991 ✭✭✭on_my_oe


    Just say your doctor has told you you need to take it easy for a while, and so you're not accepting guests for the next decade or three.

    Or flip it around and say you're opening a boutique B&B at €225 per person per night and you'll need to pre charge her credit card to guarantee her booking.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    Has anyone suggested something flame related yet?

    Maybe you could say you are hosting a swingers party.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,230 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Lulu,
    you are under no obligation to even keep in contact with this person. Let alone letting them stay in your house.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 424 ✭✭Chunners


    Tell her you have a confirmed case of Ebola


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,315 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Ya sound desperate.

    Anonymous tip-off to the cops that people are dealing drugs from your house?

    Calling the cops to raid your own house is a desperate move!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71 ✭✭Burkie94


    Start dropping casual but super racist remarks into your conversations.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,020 ✭✭✭BlaasForRafa


    Tell her you've got an ambassador staying with you and all your time is spent constructing Ferrero Rocher pyramids.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    If you really can't bring yourself to say no, can your husband not do it?

    Other than that, just say you cant have her as your sister/brother/aunt/long lost cousin twice removed/other user friend is staying that week.

    I do think you need to grow a pair and tell her fup off, she lands up at your doorstep 3 - 4 times a year but wont put you up? User of the highest order! Why are you even answering the phone to her? Get caller ID and stop taking her calls.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭ardle1


    But LuLau, she told you she's in bad form, you should let her stay 'again':rolleyes:


  • Subscribers Posts: 19,421 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    You don't need wild excuses or passive aggression. Just learn how to say no without any reason.

    A brief, 'no I'm sorry I can't have you to stay'. And nothing further. We're so used to being polite we look for excuses to soften the blow, but get strong and dont do it! Not just with this lady but in all areas of life. Its kinda liberating.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭LynnGrace


    Agreed. Just say No, politely, without attaching a load of excuses, and stop the contact.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,065 ✭✭✭crazygeryy


    Who the hell invites someone they met in the hospital to come and stay with them ffs?that's weird to begin with and to let it go on for so long? ? Maybe your the one that's weird?


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    "Sorry, it doesn't really suit"


    That's literally all you have to say, don't add any excuses or further explanation.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    Or you could go with the cop out "Sorry, my husband isn't keen on the idea. It doesn't suit to have guests at this time of the year". And then you won't hear about it till next summer. Either way, out of the goodness of your heart you are being a right mug. They clearly come and contribute nothing. What terrible guests! And the utter cheek of the daughter suggesting you take her mother in a few days a week!! Realistically this woman may have no friends and no family but that's not your problem. You have got to stop being so softhearted. They are leeches!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭lightspeed


    This is not at all normal. Do you really think you are the first she has done this to?

    Seriously, tell her to **** off. Tell her you might be available to go out for dinner or drinks some time but its not appropriate for her to come and stay over?

    How did that even happen? How does a grown adult make friends with someone new to them and just turn up to stay in their house?

    Sounds like she raising her daughter to do the same. Try be nice about it if you want, but id be direct and tell her she is taking the piss.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Tell her out straight that you would rather they don't visit any more. Explain that you initially meant she visit you for a day or two but not that she treat your home like some sort of weekend retreat for her and her daughter. She is not your friend so don't worry about offending or hurting her feelings as you won't have to see them again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    shuffles88 wrote: »


    She doesn't happen to look like the female version of Father Stone does she?

    I think you need to be honest with this person. It all sounds like an awful imposition on you and your family. Tell her sorry but no. Do you even enjoy her company?

    There is nothing wrong with the woman really it's ,just


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    shuffles88 wrote: »


    She doesn't happen to look like the female version of Father Stone does she?

    I think you need to be honest with this person. It all sounds like an awful imposition on you and your family. Tell her sorry but no. Do you even enjoy her company?

    There is nothing wrong with the woman really it's ,just visiting to often for myy liking


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭Buona Fortuna


    lulu1 wrote: »
    There is nothing wrong with the woman really it's ,just visiting to often for myy liking

    Lulu I admire your generosity.

    I sort of find myself between places around the end of November, any chance me and the family could crash for a couple of nights or so?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    crazygeryy wrote: »
    Who the hell invites someone they met in the hospital to come and stay with them ffs?that's weird to begin with and to let it go on for so long? ? Maybe your the one that's weird?

    Op I didn't. Actually invite her there and then in the hospital I am not stupid


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    Or you could go with the cop out "Sorry, my husband isn't keen on the idea. It doesn't suit to have guests at this time of the year". And then you won't hear about it till next summer. Either way, out of the goodness of your heart you are being a right mug. They clearly come and contribute nothing. What terrible guests! And the utter cheek of the daughter suggesting you take her mother in a few days a week!! Realistically this woman may have no friends and no family but that's not your problem. You have got to stop being so softhearted. They are leeches!!

    Oh she dose have a well to do family but i done think she gets on with them she only tells ye what u need to know


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    Lulu I admire your generosity.

    I sort of find myself between places around the end of November, any chance me and the family could crash for a couple of nights or so?

    The new me

    NO. Sorry we are going to the south of France that week


  • Advertisement
Advertisement