I dont want them 4 or 5 times a year

lulu1

About 4 years ago ago I met a woman in the out patients dept of a hosp. We got chatting and discovered we suffered with the same complaint. We kept in contact and of course me and my big mouth says you'll have to come and visit me. We live in different parts of the country. The very next month she arrived foe the weekend ( which i did not mind in the least ). The next year her and her daughter came and for 3 solid days they never left the house. In July this year her and the daughter came again and i had the house spotless. Well if my blood didnt boil when I caught the daughter examining the knives and forks before we had dinner I said to my daughter that I was going to say something but she wouldnt let me. Last month they landed again This time the daughter only left the house to get supplies to make her own dinner. A few times I commented how mary was going to make the dinner for everyone. OH I only bought enough for myself she says. So the two of them sits for another 3 days with the tv blaring as loud as it could go, and everyone shouting at each other to make themselves heard But I know I should have said something when the daughter said Mum you should come here a few days a week when I am at collage sure you will only be sitting at home on your own ()she is a single mother)Last night the dreaded phone all came asking could she come for a few days as she is in bad form and lonely now the daughter is back at scchool. I told her I would have to ok it with my husband, I couldnt think of anything else to say.We definately dont want to see her so soon again

0byme75341jo28

Tell her to fúck off.

shedweller

Lifes too short to put up with that nonsense. They are taking the p!ss and they know it. The longer you leave this the harder it will be to finish it so finish it now and tell them not to come back.

indigo twist

Then say no ...

Tail Docker

Burn down the house and tell them you're homeless -they'll stay somewhere else.


Or just say no??

Simonigs1.0

Have I missed something or why haven't you told her to **** off?

Lapin

Tell her you'd like a few days break yourself and ask her if it ok or you to go to her place for a few days.

If she says no, thats your cue to tell her to fuck off.

If she says yes. Land up on her doorstep at 7 the following morning, with your husband, the kids, dogs, cats and three large suitcases each and move in for a fortnight.

Ruu

You have to be cruel to be kind sometimes. 'Really need some time with my family/by myself/others close to me' which wouldn't be too far from the truth.

lulu1

Simonigs1.0 wrote: »

Have I missed something or why haven't you told her to **** off?

because i am my own worst enemy I could not do it

Peregrine

Has no one suggested burning the house down yet?



You really do have to tell them you don't want them visiting again. It's tough but it has to be done.

shuffles88

She doesn't happen to look like the female version of Father Stone does she?

I think you need to be honest with this person. It all sounds like an awful imposition on you and your family. Tell her sorry but no. Do you even enjoy her company?

Vincent Vega

Shame you didn't post this sooner.
You could have brought them along to AH beers tonight, got some other users in on it and weirded them out enough to see them off for good. :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Just say, "sorry Mary. Some other time, maybe"

Heisenberg88

Just tell em that now is not a good time. I am constipated and my husband it waiting to eat it should work. Will never hear from them again.

Chunners

lulu1 wrote: »

because i am my own worst enemy I could not do it

Sure when they come where are they staying/sleeping? I assume it is in one of your kids rooms? just tell her she can't come because it disrupts your kids schedule and if she doesn't like it then tough titty, it's not your responsibility to look after her while her daughter swans off to college. IF her daughter is so concerned then let her give up her days to entertain her mother

lulu1

Lapin wrote: »

Tell her you'd like a few days break yourself and ask her if it ok or you to go to her place for a few days.

If she says no, thats your cue to tell her to fuck off.

If she says yes. Land up on her doorstep at 7 the following morning, with your husband, the kids, dogs, cats and three large suitcases each and move in for a fortnight.

I did suggest that i might go to her for a few days oh she says we have only two rooms you will have to stay in the b/b

catallus

May I please be the first to suggest burning your house down?

It is the only way.

Sofiztikated

"We're away,"

Keep saying it until they get the hint.

lulu1

catallus wrote: »

May I please be the first to suggest burning your house down?

It is the only way.

Sorry to late someone got in before ye anyway i am offf to bed before someone burns it

catallus

lulu1 wrote: »

Sorry to late someone got in before ye anyway i am offf to bed before someone burns it

But arson is still an option, yes?

eug87

http://youtu.be/bWmGhaO59qY

lulu1

Sofiztikated wrote: »

"We're away,"

Keep saying it until they get the hint.

Or how would this sound

HER Can i come for a few days next week

ME Oh god sorry we're away the very same week

wandatowell

This is my worst nightmare come through.


Fcuk them You don't need them in your life.




Fake your death.

The Strawman Argument

You've gotta tell her to f*ck off (can be done more politely though, I'm sure), she's not your responsiblity and you're not helping her if it's something you realistically can't keep doing forever. My mam has one of these problem people hassling her at home these days and she's only gotten worse, she's just gonna lay into you more and more until you sever ties at this stage.

It's a bad idea to let people become dependent on you like that, you've to ensure there's some sign of a road toward improvement because you can't count on them to do so, like.

lulu1

catallus wrote: »

But arson is still an option, yes?

i will sleep on it

catallus

lulu1 wrote: »

i will sleep on it

Backslider:mad:

nc19

Start charging her........

nc19

Start charging her........

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Or how about suggest she stay in a b n b too, just say you find it a little cramped

on_my_oe

Just say your doctor has told you you need to take it easy for a while, and so you're not accepting guests for the next decade or three.

Or flip it around and say you're opening a boutique B&B at €225 per person per night and you'll need to pre charge her credit card to guarantee her booking.

shruikan2553

Has anyone suggested something flame related yet?

Maybe you could say you are hosting a swingers party.

B.A._Baracus

Lulu,
you are under no obligation to even keep in contact with this person. Let alone letting them stay in your house.

Chunners

Tell her you have a confirmed case of Ebola

the_syco

Ya sound desperate.

Anonymous tip-off to the cops that people are dealing drugs from your house?

Calling the cops to raid your own house is a desperate move!

Burkie94

Start dropping casual but super racist remarks into your conversations.

BlaasForRafa

Tell her you've got an ambassador staying with you and all your time is spent constructing Ferrero Rocher pyramids.

whatdoicare

If you really can't bring yourself to say no, can your husband not do it?

Other than that, just say you cant have her as your sister/brother/aunt/long lost cousin twice removed/other user friend is staying that week.

I do think you need to grow a pair and tell her fup off, she lands up at your doorstep 3 - 4 times a year but wont put you up? User of the highest order! Why are you even answering the phone to her? Get caller ID and stop taking her calls.

ardle1

But LuLau, she told you she's in bad form, you should let her stay 'again':rolleyes:

Oryx

You don't need wild excuses or passive aggression. Just learn how to say no without any reason.

A brief, 'no I'm sorry I can't have you to stay'. And nothing further. We're so used to being polite we look for excuses to soften the blow, but get strong and dont do it! Not just with this lady but in all areas of life. Its kinda liberating.

LynnGrace

Agreed. Just say No, politely, without attaching a load of excuses, and stop the contact.

crazygeryy

Who the hell invites someone they met in the hospital to come and stay with them ffs?that's weird to begin with and to let it go on for so long? ? Maybe your the one that's weird?

Barely There

"Sorry, it doesn't really suit"


That's literally all you have to say, don't add any excuses or further explanation.

Teyla Emmagan

Or you could go with the cop out "Sorry, my husband isn't keen on the idea. It doesn't suit to have guests at this time of the year". And then you won't hear about it till next summer. Either way, out of the goodness of your heart you are being a right mug. They clearly come and contribute nothing. What terrible guests! And the utter cheek of the daughter suggesting you take her mother in a few days a week!! Realistically this woman may have no friends and no family but that's not your problem. You have got to stop being so softhearted. They are leeches!!

lightspeed

This is not at all normal. Do you really think you are the first she has done this to?

Seriously, tell her to **** off. Tell her you might be available to go out for dinner or drinks some time but its not appropriate for her to come and stay over?

How did that even happen? How does a grown adult make friends with someone new to them and just turn up to stay in their house?

Sounds like she raising her daughter to do the same. Try be nice about it if you want, but id be direct and tell her she is taking the piss.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Tell her out straight that you would rather they don't visit any more. Explain that you initially meant she visit you for a day or two but not that she treat your home like some sort of weekend retreat for her and her daughter. She is not your friend so don't worry about offending or hurting her feelings as you won't have to see them again.

lulu1

shuffles88 wrote: »

She doesn't happen to look like the female version of Father Stone does she?

I think you need to be honest with this person. It all sounds like an awful imposition on you and your family. Tell her sorry but no. Do you even enjoy her company?

There is nothing wrong with the woman really it's ,just

lulu1

shuffles88 wrote: »

She doesn't happen to look like the female version of Father Stone does she?

I think you need to be honest with this person. It all sounds like an awful imposition on you and your family. Tell her sorry but no. Do you even enjoy her company?

There is nothing wrong with the woman really it's ,just visiting to often for myy liking

Buona Fortuna

lulu1 wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with the woman really it's ,just visiting to often for myy liking

Lulu I admire your generosity.

I sort of find myself between places around the end of November, any chance me and the family could crash for a couple of nights or so?

lulu1

crazygeryy wrote: »

Who the hell invites someone they met in the hospital to come and stay with them ffs?that's weird to begin with and to let it go on for so long? ? Maybe your the one that's weird?

Op I didn't. Actually invite her there and then in the hospital I am not stupid

lulu1

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Or you could go with the cop out "Sorry, my husband isn't keen on the idea. It doesn't suit to have guests at this time of the year". And then you won't hear about it till next summer. Either way, out of the goodness of your heart you are being a right mug. They clearly come and contribute nothing. What terrible guests! And the utter cheek of the daughter suggesting you take her mother in a few days a week!! Realistically this woman may have no friends and no family but that's not your problem. You have got to stop being so softhearted. They are leeches!!

Oh she dose have a well to do family but i done think she gets on with them she only tells ye what u need to know

lulu1

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Lulu I admire your generosity.

I sort of find myself between places around the end of November, any chance me and the family could crash for a couple of nights or so?

The new me

NO. Sorry we are going to the south of France that week