I would like to give someone some money.

strobe

No, not you, sorry.

Good morning oh wise and revered denisons of AH, I come humbly seeking your guidance.

My issue is thus. I know someone that could use some money. I have money and would like to give it to them. They however, are too proud (read: ****ing retarded) to accept my money.

So, I would like to come up with a way of them having the money, without knowing I have given it to them.

I, unfortunately, am not an intelligent person, and as such, the best I have been able to come up with is to simply post a big wad of cash to their address, perhaps with a card inside the envelope written to 'Joe'. But there is the possibility the cash could be lost (or stolen) in transit through the postal system, or that the gob****e would hand it into the cops in the hope that they could locate 'Joe', or something else I haven't thought of could go awry... there's too many unknown variables at play.

Here is where you come in. I need to harness your well known sneaky, conniving, despicable streak and use it to my own ends.

Any ideas welcome.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, etc.

obriendj

a game of CUPS???

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

strobe

strobe wrote: »

No, not you, sorry.

well fcuk you too then!!!

Good morning oh wise and revered denisons of AH, I come humbly seeking your guidance.

My issue is thus. I k ow someone that could use some money. I have money and would like to give it to them. They however, are too proud (read: ****ing retarded) to accept my money.

So, I would like to come up with a way of them having the money, without knowing I have given it to them.

I, unfortunately, am not an intelligent person, and as such, the best I have been able to come up with is to simply post a big wad of cash to their address, perhaps with a card inside the envelope written to 'Joe'. But there is the possibility the cash could be lost (or stolen) in transit through the postal system, or that the gob****e would hand it into the cops in the hope that they could locate 'Joe', or something else I haven't thought of could go awry... there's too many unknown variables at play.

Here is where you come in. I need to harness your well known sneaky, conniving, despicable streak and use it to my own ends.

Any ideas welcome.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, etc.

Post it in their letterbox with their name on it and an anonymous note so they know it's not a mistake
Insist it's an interest free loan and you'll expect payment back so it's not charity (but then don't chase it)
Pay a bill for them if you are close enough to be able to do that
Buy a voucher for whereever they usually shop and say you got it as a present and have no use for it and could they take it off your hands
I like the poker game idea also, very much

whiskeyman

Tell them you just got a job for FG and you need them to drive you about as an official driver on just a one off trip.
Pay them handsomely for this.

Job done.

Laois6556

I know their bank account number. It's 437288632. Sort code: 33 54 76. Go to aib and lodge the money in there. Do it now!

Micky Dolenz

If they won't accept it, mind your own business. They are clearly not as stuck as you think.

bear1

strobe wrote: »

No, not you, sorry.

Good morning oh wise and revered denisons of AH, I come humbly seeking your guidance.

My issue is thus. I know someone that could use some money. I have money and would like to give it to them. They however, are too proud (read: ****ing retarded) to accept my money.

So, I would like to come up with a way of them having the money, without knowing I have given it to them.

I, unfortunately, am not an intelligent person, and as such, the best I have been able to come up with is to simply post a big wad of cash to their address, perhaps with a card inside the envelope written to 'Joe'. But there is the possibility the cash could be lost (or stolen) in transit through the postal system, or that the gob****e would hand it into the cops in the hope that they could locate 'Joe', or something else I haven't thought of could go awry... there's too many unknown variables at play.

Here is where you come in. I need to harness your well known sneaky, conniving, despicable streak and use it to my own ends.

Any ideas welcome.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, etc.

Probably a bit too personal but how much money are we talking here?
The suggestion of just leaving it in their letter box is probably the best one.
Tbh, I would more than likely not take it either. It's embarrassing. It would also be in the back of your mind that this person has lent you a lot of money and doesn't want it back. Money and friends don't mix.
Anonymously is the way to go.
Best of luck OP and let me the first to say that it is very kind of you

jamesbere

Give me the money and I'll give it to him. I charge a small commission

Tokyo

What I'd like to know is how does one request money from an anonymous donor?

bear1

mike_ie wrote: »

What I'd like to know is how does one request money from an anonymous donor?

Ad in the paper?
There's prostitution also... in a way it's anonymous.

solomafioso

Gift them prize bonds. Well done you!

Akrasia

Ask him if he wants to join a lottery syndicate with you. Collect the 2 euros off him. Then next week, tell him you matched 4 numbers and his share of the winnings is whatever amount you want to give him.

nelly17

I had an issue like this a while ago, someone close lost their job and their family was literally on bread and beans, they were too proud to let anyone know, eventually we found out. They would have been too proud to accept money so we went and done a gropcery shop for them call over and filled their kitcken cupboards. Yes its was demeaning, embarrasing extreamly patronising and not our place but there were 3 kids on bread and beans for weeks because of their 'pride'.

They're back on their feet and its never been spoken of again, nor should it be. This can happen to anyone.

mike_ie

mike_ie wrote: »

What I'd like to know is how does one request money from an anonymous donor?

Craigslist
though you may have to do them a few "favours" first ...

apollo8

Print a fake ticket to a draw,give it to him,later tell him he won and give him his "winnings".:)

nelly17

Do an 419er Scam on him but actually give him the money

Sky King

OP is your friend the king of Nigeria by any chance?

Because I already sorted him out.

thrashmetalfan

OP are you the euromillions winner??

Foggy Jew

I fell on seriously hard times 7 years ago... involving a runaway husband, no job, 3 young kids, not a bean to my name. It was difficult. I dreaded the postman. One day, a card dropped on my doormat. There was 3 fifty euro notes in it with a little note saying that the sender had come by the money easily, they knew that I was a decent person, and they would prefer not to reveal who they were, and that I was to use the money to treat myself. The arrival of the card coincided with the arrival of a second reminder from the ESB about an overdue bill - so I treated myself to a good nights sleep by paying the ESB bill with the money.

That was 6 and a half years ago. I think of that person frequently, and my heart always lifts at the thought of their generosity. I have never found out who it was, but since then, I have done my best to try to pay their kindness forward.

This post will probably be deleted for it's smushiness, but, OP, what you want to do is a good thing. You will think of a way.

AnonoBoy

Leave a ten cent coin on their windowsill every morning. After a week they'll have 70 cent.

The next week double it to 20 cent. That's 1 euro 40 (two euro 10 cent in all) by the end of week two.

By this stage they'll be thinking something strange is happening so you go all out next week and leave a shiny 50 cent piece on the windowsill each morning. That's 3 euro fifty by the end of that week. (And as we all know Three Fiddy is the magic number). So now they'll have Five euro sixty cent in total.

Soon enough they'll start believing in the money fairy. And now the magic begins. The next week you have to leave one euro on the windowsill every morning.

So that's 7 euro by Sunday morning and twelve euro and sixty cent in total.

Then ring them up and ask them can you borrow twelve euro.

If they refuse you have to stick to the plan for the next week put two euro on the windowsill every morning. 14 euro by the end of the week. So the person will now have 26 euro and sixty cent. That's not to be sniffed at.

Of course by this stage you'll be tired with all the getting up in the morning to leave money on the windowsill. But stay true to the vision and this will all pay off.

For the next week you need to leave exactly 2 euro and fifty three cent on the windowsill every morning. So by the end of the week you will have left 17 euro and 71 cent.

This amount of money will undoubtedly pique your friend's curiosity. Why is this money being left outside my house? Who is doing this? Do Money Fairies really exist.

Now he will start rising early in an attempt to catch the Money Fairy so to trick him you will need to start leaving the money at night as opposed to in the morning.

So for the first nightly drop you will need to gather 4 euro and 21 cent. This is to be the amount you leave every night for the week. By the end of the week you will have left 29 euro and 47 cent. And his total will be 47 euro and 8 cent.


So anyway I just bought a new calculator. How much are you planning to give this person?

Doom

Give him 1 million to sleep with his wife...

nelly17

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Leave a ten cent coin on their windowsill every morning. After a week they'll have 70 cent.

The next week double it to 20 cent. That's 1 euro 40 (two euro 10 cent in all) by the end of week two.

By this stage they'll be thinking something strange is happening so you go all out next week and leave a shiny 50 cent piece on the windowsill each morning. That's 3 euro fifty by the end of that week. (And as we all know Three Fiddy is the magic number). So now they'll have Five euro sixty cent in total.

Soon enough they'll start believing in the money fairy. And now the magic begins. The next week you have to leave one euro on the windowsill every morning.

So that's 7 euro by Sunday morning and twelve euro and sixty cent in total.

Then ring them up and ask them can you borrow twelve euro.

If the refuse you have to stick to the plan for the next week put two euro on the windowsill every morning. 14 euro by the end of the week. So the person will now have 26 euro and sixty cent. That's not to be sniffed at.

Of course by this stage you'll be tired with all the getting up in the morning to leave money on the windowsill. But stay true to the vision and this will all pay off.

For the next week you need to leave exactly 2 euro and fifty three cent on the windowsill every morning. So by the end of the week you will have left 17 euro and 71 cent.

This amount of money will undoubtedly pique your friend's curiosity. Why is this money being left outside my house? Who is doing this? Do Money Fairies really exist.

Now he will start rising early in an attempt to catch the Money Fairy so to trick him you will need to start leaving the money at night as opposed to in the morning.

So for the first nightly drop you will need to gather 4 euro and 21 cent. This is to be the amount you leave every night for the week. By the end of the week you will have left 29 euro and 47 cent. And his total will be 47 euro and 8 cent.


So anyway I just bought a new calculator. How much are you planning to give this person?

This made me spit my coffee out laughing

I am having an amazing deja vu that we had this _exact_ thread a few months ago and it was full of advice. But I can not find it now to link you to it OP to help you out. Perhaps someone else can find it.

Two things jump to mind though - rather than simply give it to him why not find something he can do for you or help you with and then offer to pay him for his time?

Or alternatively why not offer simply to lend it to him - but at a repayment rate and period that makes your offer much more compelling than any Bank or Credit Union loan?

People always rise to bets when they know they are right though. You could of course make some nonsense claim and bet him X euro that you are right. If he takes the bet, then lose gracefully.

cloud493

If somebody wants to give me free money, I am definitely not too proud to accept it

gk5000

Foggy Jew wrote: »

I fell on seriously hard times 7 years ago... involving a runaway husband, no job, 3 young kids, not a bean to my name. It was difficult. I dreaded the postman. One day, a card dropped on my doormat. There was 3 fifty euro notes in it with a little note saying that the sender had come by the money easily, they knew that I was a decent person, and they would prefer not to reveal who they were, and that I was to use the money to treat myself. The arrival of the card coincided with the arrival of a second reminder from the ESB about an overdue bill - so I treated myself to a good nights sleep by paying the ESB bill with the money.

That was 6 and a half years ago. I think of that person frequently, and my heart always lifts at the thought of their generosity. I have never found out who it was, but since then, I have done my best to try to pay their kindness forward.

This post will probably be deleted for it's smushiness, but, OP, what you want to do is a good thing. You will think of a way.

That's a genuine good idea.
Just give them the money either personally or anonymously - and tell them they must pay it forward in the future, either back to you or to someone else of their choosing.

Stella Virgo

beat them senseless with a big stick....then they can sue you

Frynge

Deleted User wrote: »

I am having an amazing deja vu that we had this _exact_ thread a few months ago and it was full of advice. But I can not find it now to link you to it OP to help you out. Perhaps someone else can find it.

It reads word for word what I thought I had read previously, maybe bout a year ago.

walshyp

Hi There,

My name is Muhammed King of Nigeria, I have a very special offer for your friend in need. I am currently out of Nigeria and am unable to access my funds
If your friends sends me 500 euro I will send him back 500,000 euro when I return to Nigeria. I need the 500 to purchase some resin and hookers in Amsterdam as I have lost my bank card.
Your friend will not be dissapointed. Please PM me their email address if they are interested or you can email me if interested.

Thank you,

Muhammed

Frynge

Frynge wrote: »

It reads word for word what I thought I had read previously, maybe bout a year ago.

Found it.

The Backwards Man

I would just be direct.

Go and see them, make sure no one else is in earshot and tell them 'Look, you need this more then me at the minute, to just take it and say fcuk all. That's it. No ifs, ands or buts about it. End of story. Finito. Kaput.'

Miss Lizzie Jones

Just put it in an envelopewith their name on it in a birthday card ( also with their name on it) and drop it in their mail box or have it hand delivered with some flowers. Say it is either a future or a belated birthday gift. No need to say from whom.

Macavity.

Have a private conversation with them but make sure to be really condescending. Wear a suit, a top hat and smoke a cigar when you talk to them. Refer to them as "boy" as in "You need my money, boy?" and make sure to say it in a really smug way. If they don't accept wave the money in their face then smack the money off their nose and say "You need my money, boy?", then get your lighter and burn the money in front of them and mush the burned money into their face.

strobe

Thanks kids, some good suggestions there, keep them coming if anyone's any other ideas.

The poker things a good one but isn't really a goer unfortunately for a couple of reasons, mainly the amount is not something they would ever agree to play for and if I did manage to arrange it and get them liquored up enough to play for those stakes they'd probably feel guilty and start a thread on AH looking for sneaky ways to give it back to me without me knowing and we'd get caught in a weird loop.

messrs

I think go with the draw/raffle, could you ask them to buy a ticket for €2 for some raffle in your job then tell them they won and give them the money

Mr. CooL ICE

Walk up to them and give them the money. Then shoot them in the kneecap so they can't follow you.

nelly17

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Walk up to them and give them the money. Then shoot them in the kneecap so they can't follow you.

Its kind of the opposite of a protection racket

biko

An older thread on the same topic
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057215549

Fair play OP(s) for being so generous!

emer_b

Have you seen Breaking Bad? Walter found a way to get that money to his kids in the end...few ideas in there

Fishyfreak

Fair play OP.

Really liking the fake raffle idea. Print up some professional looking literature similar to the Temple Street ones where it's massive prizes for a small ticket price.

If you really want to follow through and make it 100% believable see if a printer will do up a one off book of tickets for you.

_Whimsical_

I know someone who got a wad of money in the post at a time they needed it and despite the fact that they'd never ask for help ,they were delighted.
It came with a note that was written on a copy book page in pencil in block capitals and a mass card so it was impossible to trace the writing or imagine who they knew who'd go about it in such a way. It didn't say anything about their money situation just , "I have some extra cash and wanted to share it, just thought it might give you a lift". It was signed just "a friend".

That person still talks about it and wonders who it was and would love to thank them. I still think about it myself and it cheers me up when I do to think there are kind people like that. You never know how many you can touch by doing a nice thing.

It's a lovely idea OP. Fair play.

Tail Docker

Tie it round a brick and feck it through their front window. Everyone loves getting money that way.

Gongoozler

Probably most likely to accept it if it's anonymous, through the door. Or yeah if it's a win on something, but making up that seems like an awful lot of effort.

Would this person play poker? Cause if not, that's also a non runner

Lalealynn

strobe wrote: »

No, not you, sorry.

Good morning oh wise and revered denisons of AH, I come humbly seeking your guidance.

My issue is thus. I know someone that could use some money. I have money and would like to give it to them. They however, are too proud (read: ****ing retarded) to accept my money.

So, I would like to come up with a way of them having the money, without knowing I have given it to them.

I, unfortunately, am not an intelligent person, and as such, the best I have been able to come up with is to simply post a big wad of cash to their address, perhaps with a card inside the envelope written to 'Joe'. But there is the possibility the cash could be lost (or stolen) in transit through the postal system, or that the gob****e would hand it into the cops in the hope that they could locate 'Joe', or something else I haven't thought of could go awry... there's too many unknown variables at play.

Here is where you come in. I need to harness your well known sneaky, conniving, despicable streak and use it to my own ends.

Any ideas welcome.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, etc.

This rings a rather strange bell.....but ...it's out of reach ...where have I heard this before?

indigo twist

Lalealynn wrote: »

This rings a rather strange bell.....but ...it's out of reach ...where have I heard this before?

Maybe in one of the links that have already been posted in this thread, from a previous similar thread by a different poster a few months ago who found themselves in the same situation ...

beks101

I've just spent the afternoon dealing with aRseholes and this thread has warmed the cockles of my heart.

Please stick with your plan OP, there is definitely a way. The world needs more decent and kind-hearted people like you!

Joe Doe

I'm a joe,
ack, I won't say no
if you want to send me spare some doe.
Sure just open the wallet and let it go.

Karmic flow will reward you whenever you die,
cause up in there in the sky, there is not much fancy to buy.
So it is, like...

kissmequick

O.P. could ya Paypal it to them? Would you have any way of finding out their email address? If you chat to them on a regular basis, maybe you could strike up a convo about playing games online or something and try and see if they by any chance happen to have a Paypal Account? If ya do happen to know their email ya could then write them an anonymous email from a dummy addie telling them what you've done. Or actually could you set up a Paypal Account yourself but actually for them like, and put an anonymous note with these details in their Letter-box then, and they can withdraw it into their own Bank Account from there......

Or perhaps a Money-Card? Payzone or one of them.... I know they incur fees but still. Drop that in their Letter-Box then with a simple note of acknowledgement signed or anonymous whichever. I don't know a whole pile about finance-y stuff, but I wonder, if ya were to post the money-card to the person anonymously if that's what you wanted to do to post it, maybe the Money-Card Company have some way of safeguarding it until later-activation with a delayed pin / code or something / some way in case it gets into the wrong hands during posting.

Personally, if anyone ever did such a lovely act of kindness for me, I think, i.m.o., I'd like to have known who the good samaritan was before I departed this world. It'd be so annoying time going on and it'd always be on your mind and not ever being able to say thank you or re-pay them.

If I was you if I was going to do Money-Card thing, I'd load the money on the card and go see them and hand it to them personally. Just say you know they're down on their luck and consider it a loan if they so wish but you're more thinking of it as a gift to a friend, and the money's loaded onto the card now and any protests they have will fall on deaf ears, and leave it at that and be on your merry way. Or just say you have something for them to tide them over, hand it over and leave and walk away.

Lalealynn

strobe wrote: »

Thanks kids, some good suggestions there, keep them coming if anyone's any other ideas.

The poker things a good one but isn't really a goer unfortunately for a couple of reasons, mainly the amount is not something they would ever agree to play for and if I did manage to arrange it and get them liquored up enough to play for those stakes they'd probably feel guilty and start a thread on AH looking for sneaky ways to give it back to me without me knowing and we'd get caught in a weird loop.

Ok here is a way.

It's tried and tested. But it reeeally relies on a few things. 1. It would help if they were male. 2. That you know them quite well are on friendly enough terms. 3. You are mates with a couple of their mates.


Allah sent 20 apples it's the name of a short story. Anyway the premise is this. You get a card and get a number of people to sign it. Their friends. You put the sum of money with it. You tell them that each person donated an equal amount. Say seven people gave 75 euro thats 525 euro (odd number I know). Tell them that if they accept then you will take 100 euro of it and all of you will go out and have the biggest night out ever. And the rest they will take. But if they don't accept then there is no night out and each of you takes a measly 75 euro home. (Adjust the figures to suit).

The good thing is they don't think it's coming from you but rather a rallying of their mates.

When I was in college a guy had a fire in his digs and he was in hospital etc. We only managed to get him to accept a whip round if we agreed to let him use some of it to buy a few rounds.

What's the point of making everyone take back a measly contribution? If you admit you gave a large figure it's harder to accept for your mate.

As I say it has some draw backs. It works if you have a group to go along etc.

Anyway. If they won't accept maybe it's not your place to give it. But just support them. Anyway you could put in their letterbox and run. Are you fast?

Packrat

Be careful OP:

A few years ago, I was in difficulty with a company I had as well as a divorce, and a very good friend lent me a few thousand. He was handling millions at the time. The deal was that if or when he needed it, he'd give me plenty notice. The company went bust, and I've spent the last few years gathering together the ruins of my life.
Now he is in trouble and needs money fast. I have a little, but have a child on the way and am fairly tight. Thing is though, that I was given it in good faith and I'll have to give it back now, despite the consequences for my fiancée and child this winter.
I'm now wishing I'd never got it.

If you want to give it, - give it anonymously.

cruais

Go to the bank and get a bank draft made out for the amount you wish to give.

Doing this ensures that your friend knows that it is definitely meant for him, as his full name will be printed on the draft. Your name isn't, so you will remain anonymous.


Pop it in a card, with a message like,

'A gift from me to you'

Put it through the letterbox.