3 arrests, one year

reno123

So far, you're lucky that they are only cautions. I wwas in a similar boat, got arrested for drunk and disorderlys etc but I passed child vetting. I was on a downward spiral but gave it up for 6 months and it really helped. After that, try ease yourself back in. Only head out at 9.30 not 7pm, drink bottles instead of cans, leave bank card at home and bring small amount of cash!

Ash.J.Williams

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

there's your problem

Gerry T

Your 20 not 16 so should be mature enough to control your actions. So if you recognise that your the type of person that get's "sloppy" with drink then that's a problem. We all react differently with drink--I become a clown and mess about, others get aggressive or sleepy. But you have to agree getting cautioned is not normal, how many other people do you know have got a caution over drink ? I'm 48 and I don't know 1 person that got cautioned or arrested, and I'm no angel.

Some solid advise on here -- simple really -- if you can't control your drinking, and it controls you = give it up. You say that's not an option (worrying sign there), so take a middle ground. Next night out, drink only one type of drink, a pint of ??? or glass of ??? and don't mix through the night. Secondly every second drink make it a water. IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IN THE MAKING. If you can't go out and enjoy yourself without getting plastered, can't you see there's a problem there ?

Bepolite

OP, I'd suggest dropping in to a local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I wish you the very best of luck.

Tow

Lets call a spade a spade. You are an Alcoholic. The cure is not to drink. Tell your 'friends' you are an Alcoholic and you will find out who the true ones are.

Gerry T

Tow wrote: »

Lets call a spade a spade. You are an Alcoholic. The cure is not to drink. Tell your 'friends' you are an Alcoholic and you will find out who the true ones are.

An Alcoholic is someone that's dependant on drink, when the pressure is put on they drink for support. The OP doesn't sound like an Alcoholic, more a "once I start I can't stop till I fall over" type, but hasn't said if he/she drinks in that way.

But a worrying sign is someone that can't control their drinking, if that's you OP and you can't go out with your drinking buddies and say NO to Alcohol you might do well to change your circle of friends. You might be surprised to find there are as many that don't go out getting slaughtered as there are that do.

adocholiday

People calling OP an alcoholic are being harsh. You don't know if he's dependent on alcohol, he just drinks too much when he's out. Many people of OP's age drink too much, I know I did at 20. You don't need to give it up, you don't need to go to AA; just learn your limits and stick to them.

When you feel yourself getting drunk have a pint of water, take a break for a round, or even get a bottle of beer instead of a pint and drink slower. Stay away from shots/shorts etc. and don't be afraid to say no to offers of them. It takes a bit of willpower and some adjusting but you will get there OP.

Also some drinks are a trigger for people. I know people that when they drink certain shorts become angry and aggressive. Others become sad or upset. It's easy to identify drinks that do this and avoid them.

At the end of the day OP, you are the one responsible for your actions and their consequences. Don't ruin your future for a night on the tear. Be responsible and be aware of your limits. The fix is almost as simple as that.

Faolchu

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

no college life does not revolve around alcohol. and Alcohol is inredcibly easy to give up unless your an alcoholic. you simply decide not to drink it.

Timberrrrrrrr

Gerry T wrote: »

An Alcoholic is someone that's dependant on drink, when the pressure is put on they drink for support. The OP doesn't sound like an Alcoholic, more a "once I start I can't stop till I fall over" type, but hasn't said if he/she drinks in that way.

But a worrying sign is someone that can't control their drinking, if that's you OP and you can't go out with your drinking buddies and say NO to Alcohol you might do well to change your circle of friends. You might be surprised to find there are as many that don't go out getting slaughtered as there are that do.

I donno

RoyalBaa wrote: »

I understand that. Exactly the reason Im posting this. Its not normal to be arrested so many times in such a little space of time. Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it. I just feel miserable now returning to my course, knowing what i have done and feel Im not a suitable person for it

May not be a full blown alcoholic but sure is showing tendencies, Go to an AA meting and just listen, You don't have to say anything but you should listen to the stories of other people. If you can relate to them in anyway then maybe you need to re-evaluate your priorities.

o1s1n

adocholiday wrote: »

You don't need to give it up, you don't need to go to AA; just learn your limits and stick to them.

Some people cannot stick to limits once they've had a few and the only option is to give up. If someone has been cautioned three times by the Gardai in one year I would be leaning towards them falling into this group.

adocholiday wrote: »

Also some drinks are a trigger for people. I know people that when they drink certain shorts become angry and aggressive. Others become sad or upset. It's easy to identify drinks that do this and avoid them.

This is actually an urban legend. All alcoholic drinks have the same active chemical which gets you drunk - ethanol.

Different drinks have different strengths. Therefore different drinks 'appear' to have different results when it all comes down to the potency of the drink itself.

Drink more ethanol/Something with a higher proof, get more drunk.

If the OP seems to have a low tolerance to booze then he should stay away from all strong spirits.

adocholiday wrote: »

At the end of the day OP, you are the one responsible for your actions and their consequences. Don't ruin your future for a night on the tear. Be responsible and be aware of your limits. The fix is almost as simple as that.

I completely agree with the OP being the only one responsible for their actions, but the fix is not always 'simple'.

I know some individuals who turn from the nicest people on earth into self centered asses after a few drinks - and there seems to be no other way to control it than to just stay off the stuff.

If I were the OP with three cautions and a possible career teaching kids, I'd be having a very hard think about touching another drop again in the foreseeable future.

The Rabbit

RoyalBaa wrote: »

I understand that. Exactly the reason Im posting this. Its not normal to be arrested so many times in such a little space of time. Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it. I just feel miserable now returning to my course, knowing what i have done and feel Im not a suitable person for it

Too late to change things at 20?

Yeah, good one.

You've been given good advice here. You should really take it on board.

Export

What is it about the offences that makes you feel you're not suitable to work with children? Would you feel you were suited to working with children if you were not drinking at all?

Sniipe

I don't think this is the correct forum, but it is an interesting predicament and its a trending thread.

When you want to relieve stress you go to drink. Couldn't that be said about any addictive substance to someone who is addicted? Alcohol, drugs, fags, etc. We all want to relieve stress and pressure. Alcohol has the added advantage that it is a social norm.

From what you have said in your 3 posts it is obvious to everyone except you that drink is a problem. You need to realise this for yourself. Your mind will try and push the notion out and you will trick yourself into thinking its not that bad of a problem.

We don't know the exact circumstances of the 3 arrests, however I imagine the arrests would not have happened if there was no alcohol involved.

Lots of people drink sensibly. It seems for you this isn't the case. Heck after reading this thread you might say to yourself that the next time you go out you will not drink to excess and you will know your limits... Is this really likely to happen? I don't think so.

"Know the one that's one to many" and "drink sensibility" may not apply to you.

I'm sure sober you looking at drunk you getting arrested would not be happy?

Its difficult to give up an addiction and for some it has proved impossible. I hope you realise where you are with alcohol and smarten up your F*cking act!

uck51js9zml2yt

Interesting that college revolves around drink for some people.
I had 4 years of college and 20years later did a masters while working and rearing a family.
II never went near a pub.
If the op is drinking that much as frequently as he says which is having serious repercussions then he has a drink problem.
He may not be a fully fledged alcoholic but still needs help to deal with his lack of control and dependence on drink.
OP I suggest you contact the AA to get the help you need.

RoyalBaa

Thanks. I appreciate the replies and advice. However, I do not appreciate those of you who say Im an alcoholic. I do not depend on drink to get me through my every day life. I just enjoy going out drinking with my mates once every couple of weeks. And yes I know I do drink to excess every now and again, and have done stupid things which has led to the three arrests. I understand that if I keep going down this path it could in fact turn into alcoholism. However, college students who drink and get drunk should not be viewed as alcoholics. It's indeed a shame that it has become so normal and is almost accepted for young people to go out and get drunk. Let me assure you I do not go out and get plastered every time, it was just those few times that i happened to get caught. I understand I have to know my limits and be more sensible. I do not want to ruin my future but do feel it's heading that way if I keep on this same path. Thanks anyway for your advice. I just hope I can take it on board next time I go out with my friends

Little CuChulainn

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Thanks. I appreciate the replies and advice. However, I do not appreciate those of you who say Im an alcoholic. I do not depend on drink to get me through my every day life. I just enjoy going out drinking with my mates once every couple of weeks.

This seems at odds with your previous post.

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course.

Export

OP - I would not recommend AA at such a young age - none of us know what you can do yet with regards to curbing your drinking or regulating it - I would for now - ignore all mention of being an alcoholic.

I would however recommend chatting with your GP. Maybe avail of college counselling services too. They'll take a month or two to start, but they could be eye-opening for you. Please keep them up consistently when they start for you. If you are going to graduate, you need to do something? Do you agree?

Are you drinking more days than you used to? Now is the time to nip it in the bud.
You need to curb your drinking. It's THAT serious.

How do I know?
Because I was you. It won't end well if you don't address the things that are going haywire for you.
You are probably a brilliantly talented student. This '****' will not do you any favours.

I was 'lugged' to AA after a suicide attempt at 18. No-one addressed the '****' that was going on for me. Just the symptom. 3 cans of cider a night.

Then I went to uni.
Getting sick in public, drinking nagins of whisky, missing classes, being picked up by guards for being intoxicated in the middle of roads and stuff. Great craic altogether! Not able to study. Not able to get a part-time job. Not able to do anything bar go out and get as drunk as possible. Smoking of the odd joint, drinking bottles of wine in parks, thinking I was having the time of my life. And the vomiting lol.

I would tell you how the rest of my life turned out, but I don't want to frighten you.
Address all of this NOW, THIS YEAR, THIS WEEK.

Penny Tration

I'm not calling you an alcoholic.

However, if your drinking is causing you problems in your personal life (which three arrests would certainly count as) and you just continue to drink - you have a problem with alcohol.

Like I said earlier - either alcohol and ridiculous binge drinking is important to you, or your future career is.

Gerry T

Export" makes a good point -- is there an underlying issue, depression etc.... If so that needs looking at. But if its just a case of going along with your mates, then that's easy to fix

Pro Hoc Vice

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Thanks. I appreciate the replies and advice. However, I do not appreciate those of you who say Im an alcoholic. I do not depend on drink to get me through my every day life. I just enjoy going out drinking with my mates once every couple of weeks. And yes I know I do drink to excess every now and again, and have done stupid things which has led to the three arrests. I understand that if I keep going down this path it could in fact turn into alcoholism. However, college students who drink and get drunk should not be viewed as alcoholics. It's indeed a shame that it has become so normal and is almost accepted for young people to go out and get drunk. Let me assure you I do not go out and get plastered every time, it was just those few times that i happened to get caught. I understand I have to know my limits and be more sensible. I do not want to ruin my future but do feel it's heading that way if I keep on this same path. Thanks anyway for your advice. I just hope I can take it on board next time I go out with my friends

Being an alcoholic is not I can't live with out drink or I must drink every day it's is drink effecting my life and or the lives of the people around me. 1 arrest in a year is unfortunate 2 arrests in a year is oops 3 is causing you problems. I love drink I happily drink 3 bottles of champange in a night I'm in my mid 40's spent 8 years in third level education and enjoyed every day but I have never been arrested. Drink has caused you problems you have a drink problem.

the world wonders

Pro Hoc Vice wrote: »

1 arrest in a year is unfortunate 2 arrests in a year is oops

What? Being arrested even once is a serious wake-up call that you need to change your drinking habits. (Especially in this country where the cops are extremely lenient about public drunkeness.)

Pro Hoc Vice

the world wonders wrote: »

What? Being arrested even once is a serious wake-up call that you need to change your drinking habits. (Especially in this country where the cops are extremely lenient about public drunkeness.)

An arrest can be for many and varried reasons which may not lead to a conviction or even a charge. A person with no drink can be arrested for drink driving (real case) who was having a diabetic episode. Clare Daly TD was arrested, was she drunk. So shove you attitude up your hole every one is entitled to at least one error in judgement or a mistake.

hullaballoo

the world wonders wrote: »

What? Being arrested even once is a serious wake-up call that you need to change your drinking habits. (Especially in this country where the cops are extremely lenient about public drunkeness.)

Ah no, in fairness, AGS will arrest people for drunkenness more easily nowadays. You have to be so drunk that you are a danger to yourself/others, a threshold they seem to set as being incoherent, unable to stand/walk and liable to get yourself killed rather than just being at risk of falling over.

Getting that drunk a few times a year at that age wouldn't be unusual. Getting arrested for it once is bad luck given the likelihood of being spotted by AGS in that state. If it happens twice, that's a mistake on your part. Three times is starting to indicate that your pattern of drinking is getting absolutely wasted every time you go out because on average, most nights you won't get caught.

Most people will have experienced losing control from drinking and most people see it as an issue. There are some people, many more than there should be, who go out with the intention of losing control. I have met quite a good few of these people and although I would not say it has destroyed their lives, it has certainly had a significant impact. Most of them have been arrested at some point as well (though, not 3 times, iirc.)

It's time for the OP to face up to this. Set a limit on the number of drinks, space them out, drink at your own pace, do not get into rounds etc. If your mates are giving you a hard time about that, they're not your mates and you'd be within your rights to be annoyed if they try and coerce you into drinking more. If you find you have tried to take steps to cut back and stay within the safe spectrum of drinking i.e., no blackouts, no bad behaviour etc. then you will have to stop drinking altogether until you are able to bring that part of you under control.

Little CuChulainn

hullaballoo wrote: »

Ah no, in fairness, AGS will arrest people for drunkenness more easily nowadays.

Actually you generally have to really piss a Garda off to be arrested for drunkenness, or be in a terrible state altogether. It's just too much hassle otherwise.

Pro Hoc Vice

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Actually you generally have to really piss a Garda off to be arrested for drunkenness, or be in a terrible state altogether. It's just too much hassle otherwise.

Ftom professional experience I disagree. Members can get out of bed on the wrong side aswell.

Santa Cruz

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

I thought that it was very useful advice. College life revolves around drinking if you want it to. If in as in your case you cannot handle alcohol then you must develop other interests. You can be given the fools pardon only so many times before you get a court conviction.

Santa Cruz

RoyalBaa wrote: »

I understand that. Exactly the reason Im posting this. Its not normal to be arrested so many times in such a little space of time. Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it. I just feel miserable now returning to my course, knowing what i have done and feel Im not a suitable person for it

If you have to depend on drunkenness to cope with your choice of course then you are well in over your depth.

jhea

arrested means you have been stopped and questioned, whethernit was on the street or in a station. if you haven't been charged then your fine but see it as been cautioned.

just calm the f### down when you drink. just think that in the future some of those people you are shouting at or ruining their night by your drunken antics could be the same parents of some poor kids you want to take care of.

so stop worrying, clam down, drink less and enjoy your nights and be inspirational to those kids. would you like to see them acting like this or have the same worries?

BornToKill

jhea wrote: »

arrested means you have been stopped and questioned, whethernit was on the street or in a station. if you haven't been charged then your fine but see it as been cautioned.

Well, arrested doesn't mean stopped and doesn't mean charged. It means arrested.

jhea

An arrest is the act of depriving a person of his or her liberty usually in relation to the purported investigation or prevention of crime and presenting (the arrestee) to a procedure as part of the criminal justice system. The term is Anglo-Norman in origin and is related to the French word arrêt, meaning "stop".

one can be arrested for questioning and be charged with nothing as you can be seen as assisting in an investigation or in this guys case, arrested and had it explained what would lie ahead if he continued on the same path.