3 arrests, one year

RoyalBaa

Hi.

I have been arrested twice in ireland and once in the usa in less than one year, all for drink related offences. I just want some advice if anyone has been in a similiar situation. I am in college and doing well for myself but am worried about ruining my life if I get in trouble again. I have never been to court, just cautioned each time, so have no record. My future career will revolve around working with children, and although I know I will be great at the job, I feel like I'm not good enough or suitable for it, due to my recent actions. I'm 20 years old.

moonshadow

Don't drink alcohol .

RoyalBaa

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

Beano

It is incredibly useful advice. If you cant drink without getting arrested then perhaps alcohol is not for you.

moonshadow

College life revolves around studying, you study to get points to get into college. Then you continue , you fupp it up if you go on the piss , your choice.

The Peanut

Look, if you can't control your drinking; don't drink. It's illegal to drink in the States at 20. You won't have a career if you are not more careful.

This is probably not the correct forum for the question you're asking.

scheister

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

But the sounds of your post drink is the issue so if you want to work with children in years to come give up the drink before it ruins your career hopes

As someone who returned to college after i stopped drinking it can be annoying when 90% of things in college are drink driven. But try and mix with some of the socs that are less likely to drink or if you cant just explain that you have taken a break from drinking due to budget reasons or something. in most cases people will understand you will have the one or two twats that dont but what can you do

Little CuChulainn

College life does not revolve around drinking. YOUR life revolves around it and you are using college, and your nationality, as an excuse to behave like an idiot. You do have a record if you were arrested, a record that will show when you are vetted for working with kids. There are plenty of people who don't drink and a lot more who simply drink responsibly. If you can't do either of those then seek professional help.

Penny Tration

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

I managed to drink in college without being arrested or cautioned, as have most of us.

If you're binge drinking to the extent where you're being arrested, you have a problem with drink.

If you're serious about your career, quit.

Which is more important - your future, or getting pissed with the lads?

Frynge

When I started college............... It revolved around drinking.
When I continued with college..... It revolved around drinking.
When I finished college............... It revolved around drinking.

I don't have any degree.

I also have never been arrested.

I would suggest you stop drinking or at a minimum try a hell of a lot better to control it.

Sittingpretty

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Hi.

I have been arrested twice in ireland and once in the usa in less than one year, all for drink related offences. I just want some advice if anyone has been in a similiar situation. I am in college and doing well for myself but am worried about ruining my life if I get in trouble again. I have never been to court, just cautioned each time, so have no record. My future career will revolve around working with children, and although I know I will be great at the job, I feel like I'm not good enough or suitable for it, due to my recent actions. I'm 20 years old.

Stop drinking, seriously.

3 arrests in 12 months for drinking offences? At 20 years old? That's a slippery slope you're on there.

P_1

Legally speaking there's little you can do. Practically speaking, you need to be smarter with your drinking.

RoyalBaa

I understand that. Exactly the reason Im posting this. Its not normal to be arrested so many times in such a little space of time. Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it. I just feel miserable now returning to my course, knowing what i have done and feel Im not a suitable person for it

The Peanut

The Peanut wrote: »

Look, if you can't control your drinking; don't drink. It's illegal to drink in the States at 20. You won't have a career if you are not more careful.

This is probably not the correct forum for the question you're asking.

Just to expand on what I said. You're 20 years of age, you have a great life ahead of you if you want. Drinking problems will remove opportunities and limit your abilities. You joined boards for help. May I suggest reading some of the threads on the Non-drinkers group forum.

All your replies have been uniform in their message. You're young. Please listen to the advice.

Sittingpretty

RoyalBaa wrote: »

I understand that. Exactly the reason Im posting this. Its not normal to be arrested so many times in such a little space of time. Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it. I just feel miserable now returning to my course, knowing what i have done and feel Im not a suitable person for it

At least you recognise the problem.

It's one thing loving going out drinking but you have to give serious thought to how it can and most likely effect your future career and life.

You're 20 years old, I could be your mother, it's most Definately NOT TOO LATE to change things.

Do it for yourself and do it now, I promise you, you won't regret it.

Good luck

Sittingpretty

Also by way of explanation, I've been there, drinking almost destroyed my life and my relationship.

There comes a point where you have to realise is drinking your priority or are you your priority.

I'm 37. I gave up drinking 5 years ago and I've NEVER looked back. Wish I did it when I was your age.

goz83

RoyalBaa wrote: »

I understand that. Exactly the reason Im posting this. Its not normal to be arrested so many times in such a little space of time. Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it. I just feel miserable now returning to my course, knowing what i have done and feel Im not a suitable person for it

Seriously dude, you need to slap yourself. Getting wasted is not unwinding. If you've been arrested 3 times in a year, I can only wonder what else you do when you're wasted and don't get caught by the cops.

You're not good enough to work with children if you can't control your alcohol intake. Grow up, clean up and dry up. It's not too late, but it may be very soon on this path.

RedemptionZ

As someone who's given up drink, I can tell you college life doesn't have to revolve around drink. Think here for a second now, you're 20 years old. You don't have to hang around with the cool dudes who get plastered every time they go out and call you a dry shíte if you stay sober.

Your career is potentially going to be ruined if you keep this up. I don't know what your relationship with drink is like, but for me once I got started I couldn't stop. And we all know when we're drunk we do stupid things. If you're like that, ie. can't control your drink intake, which it sounds like you are, then you've got to stop drinking. The earlier you do it the more of your life you'll have to enjoy and probably more importantly the less regrets you'll have.

You can say that you're just unwinding, but 3 arrests speak for themselves. You've got a clean record, a lot of people wouldn't have been so lucky, take the chance you've been given. Your call.

Peregrinus

Your problem is not the arrests. The arrests are in fact a benefit to you, because they have brought home to you earlier than might otherwise have been the case that your problem is the drink.

This is not something you want to hear, I know, but you have to hear it. Some people can have a lively social life that revolves around drink, and can cope with it. You are not one of those people. Fortunately, you have discovered this at a time when it is still possible for you to make life-choices that reflect this reality. It may not be easy for you to make those choices, and to live up to them; it will take strength, and you have to man up for it. But it can be done; others have done it before you. And in the long run it will certainly be easier than living with the consequences of continued denial. You haven’t yet f*cked your career, your family and your relationships. Any price you pay now to make sure that never happens is worth it.

Your pattern of drinking makes you feel bad about returning to your course? Pretend a friend said that to you. Would you be in any doubt about what advice to offer him? You knew even before you opened this thread what we would all say. You opened this thread because you wanted to hear us say it. And good on you for doing that; you are looking for support and solidarity in facing your issues.

Keep doing that. Tell your friends that you are concerned about your drinking, and that you need to make some changes. If they are your friends, they will support you. And if your college offers a counselling service, go and see the counsellor; he or she may be able to put you in touch with some support groups or support services.

At twenty, you are still making the choices that will determine the person that you are going to become. This is one of those choices.

salamanca22

Drinking is the problem. Learn to control your drunken behavior or stop drinking full stop. Those are your options.

I am in college in an intense engineering course and my life does not revolve around drinking to relieve my stress nor does it for many many others and for those that do drink a few times a week they are behind the class in most subjects.

It's time to prioritise OP. You are an adult now and you need to do things now that will benefit your future and not cause you to lose out on your dream job!

Good luck.

TheChizler

If you're not going to go cold turkey at least take steps to control your drinking. Set yourself a time limit for your last drink of the night, plan to be up doing something in the morning as the desire to be not-hungover for that should curb yourself the night before, pace yourself with water, eat a large meal so you can't fit too much booze.

Some of these are just ways of tricking yourself, so it's not totally about willpower, which might be lacking when the beer is flowing, but once you get into the habit of drinking less the self control will become automatic.

Esel

Three strikes, not out yet, phew...

How many more amber lights do you need to see before you drive through a red light?

P_1

RoyalBaa wrote: »

I understand that. Exactly the reason Im posting this. Its not normal to be arrested so many times in such a little space of time. Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it. I just feel miserable now returning to my course, knowing what i have done and feel Im not a suitable person for it

First of all it's never too late to change anything do don't be thinking that.

What I've started doing with drinking is trying to maintain that mellow buzz you get after two or 3 drinks all night. After a while switch to the cokes and then switch back to the pints but don't go too mad on them if that makes any sense. Maybe that might work for you?

GerardKeating

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

No it does not. College life revolves around studying and exams.

You need to decide what you want, a career in Child Care or a career as a drinker.

Speaking purely as a parent, and ignoring the legal aspect, I would be worried about you having care of my children, if you do not have the self-control to regulate your drinking, why would a parent allow you to care for their children.

You are lucky, so far that there is no formal record, but your luck will run out and when it does, your garda vetting might be the least of your worries.

And remember, expect to be competing with your college classmate for employment, and all you need is one of them to bad mouth you to a potential employer to gain an advantage.

Either change career choices or seek help to stop drinking, you might not be an alcoholic yet, but it is clear you have a drink "Problem".

Timberrrrrrrr

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

Ah the old everyone else is doing it so i should to defence.

Simple enough advice for you. Curb your drinking, No one is saying you should stop altogether but when your drinking gets to the point where you are getting into trouble with the law then it's time to take a long hard look at yourself. Fwiw i am 44 years old, Been to college, Drinking for over 25 years and have never been arrested.

If you cannot see that you have a problem or are unwilling to admit it to yourself then you should practice saying the words "Would you like fries with that" for 10 minutes a day because if you keep on this trail of self destruction there will be no way you will be allowed to work with children. Even one arrest will almost certainly kill any career in childcare.

theteal

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Ok, some useful advice please. College life in fact revolves around drinking. As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland and is not something that you can give up too easily!!

I'm a bit late to this thread. That has to be a piss-take comment

.jacksparrow.

Great to see the free college fees is been put to good use.

Squatman

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Hi.

I have been arrested twice in ireland and once in the usa in less than one year, all for drink related offences. I just want some advice if anyone has been in a similiar situation. I am in college and doing well for myself but am worried about ruining my life if I get in trouble again. I have never been to court, just cautioned each time, so have no record. My future career will revolve around working with children, and although I know I will be great at the job, I feel like I'm not good enough or suitable for it, due to my recent actions. I'm 20 years old.

you dont get arrested for being drunk. you get arrested for being disorderly, or starting fights, or not obeying orders from Gardaí.
what specifically were you arrested for?

Also. fixed your post.

As bad as it may be, its the norm in Ireland for me and is not something that you I can give up too easily!!

Alf Veedersane

RoyalBaa wrote: »

Problem is I love going out during the week and drinking with my friends. It's the one thing that relieves me from the stress of my tough course. It helps me to have a good time. It has just gotten to the stage where I feel it's too late to change things. I hate what I have done to my life so far, and wish I could change it.

You can change it. You just have to want to change.

You don't have to give up drinking. Just stop drinking to the point where you're liable to do stupid sh*t that will get you arrested.It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Know the one before the one that's one too many.

RedemptionZ

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

You can change it. You just have to want to change.

You don't have to give up drinking. Just stop drinking to the point where you're liable to do stupid sh*t that will get you arrested.It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Know the one before the one that's one too many.

For people who have alcohol abuse problems, it's often near impossible for them to know the one that's one too many. Honestly OP I would at the very least abstain completely for a while and then ease your way back in. Even then it's a very tough medium to get right, I know I tried for years and could never get it.

Alf Veedersane

RedemptionZ wrote: »

For people who have alcohol abuse problems, it's often near impossible for them to know the one that's one too many. Honestly OP I would at the very least abstain completely for a while and then ease your way back in. Even then it's a very tough medium to get right, I know I tried for years and could never get it.

It's just a turn of phrase.

To translate. Don't drink as much and if you can't stop at a certain point, don't drink.