Checking your partner's phone

chellyry

What are people's views on checking their partner's phones?

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't every day and in a 'checking up on you' kind of way. If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

I ask because I have never had a problem with it, but my partner has recently become very protective over his and won't let me even touch it, even though I allow him to check mine. I'm not looking for advice here, just opinions on the question above. I've also noticed a lot of comments on posts where people are appalled at partners who do this.

So, which side are you on? Don't see any problem with it, or think it's a complete invasion of privacy?

whomitconcerns

complete invasion of privacy..

smash

chellyry wrote: »

If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

That's such a bullshít thing to say. Just stop being a nosy git.

Witcher

chellyry wrote: »

What are people's views on checking their partner's phones?

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't every day and in a 'checking up on you' kind of way. If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

I ask because I have never had a problem with it, but my partner has recently become very protective over his and won't let me even touch it, even though I allow him to check mine. I'm not looking for advice here, just opinions on the question above. I've also noticed a lot of comments on posts where people are appalled at partners who do this.

So, which side are you on? Don't see any problem with it, or think it's a complete invasion of privacy?

What kind of way would you be checking their phone then?

GLaDOS

Would never look at my girlfriends messages/emails etc without asking permission. Basic manners.

wazky

Is he has half a brain he has a second phone for the other women.

mariaalice

chellyry wrote: »

What are people's views on checking their partner's phones?

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't every day and in a 'checking up on you' kind of way. If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

I ask because I have never had a problem with it, but my partner has recently become very protective over his and won't let me even touch it, even though I allow him to check mine. I'm not looking for advice here, just opinions on the question above. I've also noticed a lot of comments on posts where people are appalled at partners who do this.

So, which side are you on? Don't see any problem with it, or think it's a complete invasion of privacy?

Complete invasion of privacy, nosey, rude and odd in my opinion.

House of Blaze

ATTENTION:

The popcorn machine will be out of order for the duration of this thread due to high demand.

That is all.

krudler

Why do you need to check his phone? I'd let someone use my phone not a bother if they needed to send a text or use an app or whatever but "checking" my phone? for what?

discus

Ah yes, the black-ops phone / batphone!

I Heart Internet

wazky wrote: »

Is he has half a brain he has a second phone for the other women.

He has, he's texting me the whole time on it. His partner doesn't have a clue.

irish_major

He's been looking up engagement rings, and without getting your hopes up he's going to propose to you within the next week.

Maximus Alexander

Wouldn't be with her in the first place if I didn't trust her.

And, incidentally, she deserves better than to be with me if I'm spying on her, since she can't trust me.

chellyry wrote: »

If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

The focus of this article is government, but nevertheless provides an adequate rebuttal to this line of thinking in general.

takamichinoku

Unless they were expecting a call and were in the shower or something like that, I wouldn't, and even then I'd just look at the screen to see the name on it so I could tell them.

SmilingLurker

I trust my wife. I normally get handed her phone when she is driving or wants me to fix something. I have never bothered to look to be honest, I have better things to be doing

sblythe

Absolutely no chance I would let my girlfriend just search through my phone and vice versa. What would you be looking for anyway? If it has gotten to a stage in your relationship where you are conscious of cheating (presumably thats why you want a look), then you need to sit down and really consider whether or not you should be in the relationship.

Penny Tration

Your partner may have nothing to hide, but that doesn't give you the right to invade his privacy, or the privacy of those who have texted him.

krudler

wazky wrote: »

Is he has half a brain he has a second phone for the other women.

I used to work for a mobile phone company, and the amount of disgruntled spouses who would ring up looking for dates and times of certain numbers rang was crazy. If you're gonna be a cheat dont be a dumbass and go buy a 20 quid prepay phone and another number.

timmy880

If you are regularly checking your partners phone or emails it would be my opinion that you think they have something to hide.....

I'd be on the invasion of privacy side in this one!

BizzyC

Should add a poll Op.

Invasion of privacy.

A person is entitled to not have their conversation with friends scrutinised by a 3rd party. doesn't necessarily mean that they have a big secret to hide.

If you dont think it's a big deal, you'll have no problem in not doing it anyway.

Vinz Mesrine

He's cheating, 100%

Leogirl

Have had it done to me & its horrible, a complete invasion of privacy & shows a real lack of trust - and led to me not trusting them or feeling 100% at ease with them. Just ask me & I'd show it!

Wouldnt dream of doing it to someone - if it was done to me again, I'd be gone!!

salmocab

Checking up on him in a not checking up kind of way thats just brilliant and you allow him to check up on yours that is very decent of you, I foresee a long and fruitful relationship here.

chellyry

chellyry wrote: »

What are people's views on checking their partner's phones?

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't every day and in a 'checking up on you' kind of way. If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

I ask because I have never had a problem with it, but my partner has recently become very protective over his and won't let me even touch it, even though I allow him to check mine. I'm not looking for advice here, just opinions on the question above. I've also noticed a lot of comments on posts where people are appalled at partners who do this.

So, which side are you on? Don't see any problem with it, or think it's a complete invasion of privacy?

What do you mean you let him check yours?

Arbiter of Good Taste

krudler wrote: »

I used to work for a mobile phone company, and the amount of disgruntled spouses who would ring up looking for dates and times of certain numbers rang was crazy. If you're gonna be a cheat dont be a dumbass and go buy a 20 quid prepay phone and another number.

My brother in law was too stupid/cheap to pay for a second phone...............

chellyry

Wow, didn't expect that many replies that quickly! When I say checking up I mean looking, as in at pictures etc. And I mean in front of them, not as soon as they leave the room kind of thing.

I'm ok with it, and ok with him looking at messages, mails, snapchats etc too. If you're in an honest relationship then where's the problem. I see it as having no secrets. Just my opinion though.

salmocab

Deleted User wrote: »

What do you mean you let him check yours?

She's very kind like that.

kylith

It's not just his privacy you're invading, his friends have a right to text him without having to worry about you seeing that they have constant diarrhea, or whatever. I only touch my OH's phone if he's out of the room and he gets a phonecall from one of his parents.

Penny Tration

chellyry wrote: »

Wow, didn't expect that many replies that quickly! When I say checking up I mean looking, as in at pictures etc. And I mean in front of them, not as soon as they leave the room kind of thing.

I'm ok with it, and ok with him looking at messages, mails, snapchats etc too. If you're in an honest relationship then where's the problem. I see it as having no secrets. Just my opinion though.

But messages, emails and snapchats he's sent aren't for you. You're invading the privacy of the people sending them.

Holsten

I'd never check and she'd never ask.

Why would you ever need to 'check'?

hatrickpatrick

I wouldn't do it and I'd probably dump someone for doing it, but it's not an issue as I keep everything heavily protected / encrypted anyway.
It'a a matter of principle - being in a relationship does not mean ceasing to be an individual.