Bus journey nightmare

Witchie

Currently on bus from Monaghan to Dublin and have the pleasure of 2 loud mouthed young mothers and their screeching babies behind me. If the constant "f**k off and stop biting me" shouts at one of the babies wasn't enough, they have been playing loud music and one of the babies was trying to sing along but add to that the bus is so crowded that 3 people are standing in the stairwell of the emergency exit.

Help. Can someone rescue me?

Entertain me with your bus nitemares. I want to shout "bus wa*kers" at the top of my voice but since am one today I better not.

smash

Bus w@nkers!

Go on... do it!

D-FENS

Witchie wrote: »

Currently on bus from Monaghan to Dublin and have the pleasure of 2 loud mouthed young mothers and their screeching babies behind me. If the constant "f**k off and stop biting me" shouts at one of the babies wasn't enough, they have been playing loud music and one of the babies was trying to sing along but add to that the bus is so crowded that 3 people are standing in the stairwell of the emergency exit.

Help. Can someone rescue me?

Entertain me with your bus nitemares. I want to shout "bus wa*kers" at the top of my voice but since am one today I better not.

Happy Birthday

Your title made me think of this

Ruu

Crash the bus.

Richard Hillman

Walk around the bus and start asking people to they want to become mormans. Everybody will pretend to be asleep.

manlad

Witchie wrote: »

Currently on bus from Monaghan to Dublin and have the pleasure of 2 loud mouthed young mothers and their screeching babies behind me. If the constant "f**k off and stop biting me" shouts at one of the babies wasn't enough, they have been playing loud music and one of the babies was trying to sing along but add to that the bus is so crowded that 3 people are standing in the stairwell of the emergency exit.

Help. Can someone rescue me?

Entertain me with your bus nitemares. I want to shout "bus wa*kers" at the top of my voice but since am one today I better not.

Ulsterbus or Bus Eireann? neither a nice trip

kingtiger

never ever travel on a bus without headphones

coldcake

No way OP I'm on the same bus. At 1:15 exactly lets both stand up and tell them to shut the fcuk up and control their brats!

Banjo String

Entertain me with your bus nitemares.

The time I heard the Dublin bus driver ask the man with no legs or arms "well bud, howya gettin on?"

Witchie

Bus eireann. I have headphones but they feckin broke in my bag. I don't think they would block these noisy feckers out anyway.

danniemcq

At least nobody is getting sick on a 4 hour journey in the seat behind you.

Oh jesus the smell of it.

Or the time I went to the loo at the break in sligo and missed the bus pulling away so went on the piss instead while i waited on the next one.

Woke up an hour and a half past my stop in the middle of nowhere in Donegal at midnight.

Then there was the huge guy who sat beside me one day despite their being other seats and then fell asleep and started drooling on my shoulder

Or the old lady who just wanted to talk about her family and all this inane crap but i didn't have the heart to tell her to whist.

Or the time i came back from amsterdam and knowing i had a 4 hour journey ahead of me left a good chunk of the first GoT book to read to keep me entertained.

Half hour in and the story ends and just has a bazillion pages showing family trees and that.

I should really start driving

Witchie

coldcake wrote: »

No way OP I'm on the same bus. At 1:15 exactly lets both stand up and tell them to shut the fcuk up and control their brats!

Are you near back or front of bus? The kids aren't too bad actually its one of the mothers who is the main problem.

Larianne

Witchie wrote: »

Currently on bus from Monaghan to Dublin and have the pleasure of 2 loud mouthed young mothers and their screeching babies behind me. If the constant "f**k off and stop biting me" shouts at one of the babies wasn't enough, they have been playing loud music and one of the babies was trying to sing along but add to that the bus is so crowded that 3 people are standing in the stairwell of the emergency exit.

Help. Can someone rescue me?

Entertain me with your bus nitemares. I want to shout "bus wa*kers" at the top of my voice but since am one today I better not.

Just get everyone to sing "The wheels on the bus go round and round..." The rhythmic tune will eventually hypnotise the kids and they'll fall asleep.

I travelled on a sleeper bus in Vietnam. 11 hour overnight journey. Forgot that Vietnamese are of a short stature so my 5'10" frame didn't fit into the beds on board.

11 hours. :(:(

Glock Lesnar

Call in a bomb threat, I do it all the time.

Witchie

danniemcq wrote: »

At least nobody is getting sick on a 4 hour journey in the seat behind you.

Oh jesus the smell of it.

Or the time I went to the loo at the break in sligo and missed the bus pulling away so went on the piss instead while i waited on the next one.

Woke up an hour and a half past my stop in the middle of nowhere in Donegal at midnight.

Then there was the huge guy who sat beside me one day despite their being other seats and then fell asleep and started drooling on my shoulder

Or the old lady who just wanted to talk about her family and all this inane crap but i didn't have the heart to tell her to whist.

Or the time i came back from amsterdam and knowing i had a 4 hour journey ahead of me left a good chunk of the first GoT book to read to keep me entertained.

Half hour in and the story ends and just has a bazillion pages showing family trees and that.

I should really start driving

As bad on here. The smell of milk makes me want to boke. Add in a nappy being changed and my nose has had enough.

danniemcq

Witchie wrote: »

As bad on here. The smell of milk makes me want to boke. Add in a nappy being changed and my nose has had enough.

I did the jackass milk challenge in secondary school.

All went well had nearly the 4l done and my mate punched me in the stomach. What took 5 mins to go down came up in seconds.

I then had 3 or 4 hours of stinking of warm almost sour milk cause of the stomach acid and nobody would sit beside me.

KahBoom

One of the warmest days of the year, drunk guy gets sick all over himself while upstairs on a double decker bus, runs down the stairs and off the bus - smearing the handle bars while at it.

The smell of it was bad enough - being the first to discover the handle bars was far worse.

This year I think I'll start learning to drive.

circadian

Larianne wrote: »

Just get everyone to sing "The wheels on the bus go round and round..." The rhythmic tune will eventually hypnotise the kids and they'll fall asleep.

I travelled on a sleeper bus in Vietnam. 11 hour overnight journey. Forgot that Vietnamese are of a short stature so my 5'10" frame didn't fit into the beds on board.

11 hours. :(:(

You'd be lucky to sleep for the driving, never mind fitting on the bed.

gugleguy

kingtiger wrote: »

never ever travel on a bus without headphones

Please file under mission critical OP. MY add in: ensure they are good brand earphones like Apple, Seinheiser etc. So one earphone or both does not break down. Finally only operate on occasions like this. Otherwise may damage hearing function over long period of use.

Hande hoche!

I had a nice Lithuanian woman spill her wine on me. After the third time I took the bottle off her.

Smartly Dressed

Monaghan to Dublin? That's just a run up the road. Unless the journey is at least 5 hours, I've no sympathy.

Aglomerado

A guy puked in the aisle of the (packed) bus going from Dublin to Limerick. This happened somewhere near Monasterevin. I was sitting in an aisle seat and some of the barf spattered on my leg. The driver put the guy off at the next stop and had to make do with a newspaper to mop up the yak until we got to Borris in Ossory....

Larianne

circadian wrote: »

You'd be lucky to sleep for the driving, never mind fitting on the bed.

Yeah, that made the journey even more pleasant. :cool:

shruikan2553

A girl in her 20s who sounded like Mrs brown as her group of friends bitched about the "friend" who's party they went to.

jimgoose

I used to get a Bus Eireann coach between Dublin and Limerick every few weeks at one stage as a youngfella. The consistently worst thing about that was probably the absence of a WC. This is why Monasterevin used to look quite good in those days.

wretcheddomain

Witchie wrote: »

Currently on bus from Monaghan to Dublin

You should be happy, if you were on the bus from Dublin to Monaghan you'd be listening to sheep.

Pablodreamsofnew

I hate when people play those little portable radios on buses.

I was on a bus before heading into the city centre. I asked an old man what time it was, as phone was flat and he pulled up his arm and there was about ten watches on it, he asked me what time I wanted...

Another time I was on the phone to a friend and talking very low, it was just me and another guy on the bus, he looked like a serial killer. Anyway he started shouting at me, saying he hated my voice and shut the feck up, guess what about 12 at night and we were getting off the same stop. I ran like a crazy person home.

Larianne

Technically if someone is being a nusiance on the bus (playing loud music, eating stinky McDonalds) the bus driver can have a word.
Realistically, this doesn't happen.
:cool:

solomafioso

Punch the kids in the face.

Witchie

Got through it without punching the load foul mouthed dumb mum. She was a total nightmare.

Casshern88

I was once getting the bus from Carlow to Dublin early one morning after a heavy night of drinking, I got a roll of some sort in a near by shop before hopping on the bus this roll was in a small paper bag i wasnt quite up for eating it yet so I just kept it on my lap, It was a roasting hot day which only made matters worse, some elderly overweight woman sat in the seat beside me, worse again!

So about 30 min into the journey i start feeling pretty bad as in oh crap im going to puke bad!, i take a few deep breaths try and control my stomach, things settle down for a few minutes then we hit a bump in the road. My stomach does a back flip and that's it i cant keep it down anymore i feel the puke rushing into my mouth. I do the only thing i can and grab the paper bag the roll is it and puke into that, The bag holds the puke for about 2 seconds before it bursts, Que puke going every where all over me all over woman beside me and i continue to get sick a little more.

In fairness she took it in her stride, she of course did move seats but came back to offer me some tissue, so i had to sit there covered in my own puke for a good 45 min before we got to Dublin, Worst bus journey ever!

Witchie

Chav with baby on bus part 2. On bus from city center out to college and a woman with a baby in a pushchair is shouting down the phone at someone. Child is a quiet wee angel but despite the child only being about 8 months at the max, it has a massive big blue lollipop. Who gives young kids crap like that. Childs face is covered in blue gick from it. What is wrong with people?

Pablodreamsofnew

Witchie wrote: »

Chav with baby on bus part 2. On bus from city center out to college and a woman with a baby in a pushchair is shouting down the phone at someone. Child is a quiet wee angel but despite the child only being about 8 months at the max, it has a massive big blue lollipop. Who gives young kids crap like that. Childs face is covered in blue gick from it. What is wrong with people?

Never mind the crap that goes into bright blue lollys but the choking hazard :O
My son is two and has never had a lolly!

Pablodreamsofnew

Casshern88 wrote: »

I was once getting the bus from Carlow to Dublin early one morning after a heavy night of drinking, I got a roll of some sort in a near by shop before hopping on the bus this roll was in a small paper bag i wasnt quite up for eating it yet so I just kept it on my lap, It was a roasting hot day which only made matters worse, some elderly overweight woman sat in the seat beside me, worse again!

So about 30 min into the journey i start feeling pretty bad as in oh crap im going to puke bad!, i take a few deep breaths try and control my stomach, things settle down for a few minutes then we hit a bump in the road. My stomach does a back flip and that's it i cant keep it down anymore i feel the puke rushing into my mouth. I do the only thing i can and grab the paper bag the roll is it and puke into that, The bag holds the puke for about 2 seconds before it bursts, Que puke going every where all over me all over woman beside me and i continue to get sick a little more.

In fairness she took it in her stride, she of course did move seats but came back to offer me some tissue, so i had to sit there covered in my own puke for a good 45 min before we got to Dublin, Worst bus journey ever!

The old lady should be posting here not you!!

Witchie

Poor baby had no interest in it really and was chewing on the stick. Its now asleep so thankfully won't have to watch it choke.

Pablodreamsofnew

Witchie wrote: »

Poor baby had no interest in it really and was chewing on the stick. Its now asleep so thankfully won't have to watch it choke.

Some people I've seen 8 month old with coke in their bottle in the city and their parents looked like junkies. So gross

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Casshern88 wrote: »

I was once getting the bus from Carlow to Dublin early one morning after a heavy night of drinking, I got a roll of some sort in a near by shop before hopping on the bus this roll was in a small paper bag i wasnt quite up for eating it yet so I just kept it on my lap, It was a roasting hot day which only made matters worse, some elderly overweight woman sat in the seat beside me, worse again!

So about 30 min into the journey i start feeling pretty bad as in oh crap im going to puke bad!, i take a few deep breaths try and control my stomach, things settle down for a few minutes then we hit a bump in the road. My stomach does a back flip and that's it i cant keep it down anymore i feel the puke rushing into my mouth. I do the only thing i can and grab the paper bag the roll is it and puke into that, The bag holds the puke for about 2 seconds before it bursts, Que puke going every where all over me all over woman beside me and i continue to get sick a little more.

In fairness she took it in her stride, she of course did move seats but came back to offer me some tissue, so i had to sit there covered in my own puke for a good 45 min before we got to Dublin, Worst bus journey ever!

Did she ask "are you going to eat that roll?"

Vel

I was one of the pukers on a trip from Galway to Dublin when I was in college. Managed to get most of it into a crisp bag and some tissues, and some on my clothes. Cleaned myself up as best I could when we stopped at Athlone but I was pretty sure I reeked of sick. I was sitting beside a chatty American guy who took it quite well, so well in fact that he asked me to go for a drink with him once we got to Dublin :eek:

Bio Mech

I pity anyone on a bus full stop. Horrible way to travel. used to have to do it for years, so many bad memories.

Bio Mech

Vel wrote: »

I was one of the pukers on a trip from Galway to Dublin when I was in college. Managed to get most of it into a crisp bag and some tissues, and some on my clothes. Cleaned myself up as best I could when we stopped at Athlone but I was pretty sure I reeked of sick. I was sitting beside a chatty American guy who took it quite well, so well in fact that he asked me to go for a drink with him once we got to Dublin :eek:

A chatty American guy with a vomit fetish.

Aglomerado

Vel wrote: »

I was one of the pukers on a trip from Galway to Dublin when I was in college. Managed to get most of it into a crisp bag and some tissues, and some on my clothes. Cleaned myself up as best I could when we stopped at Athlone but I was pretty sure I reeked of sick. I was sitting beside a chatty American guy who took it quite well, so well in fact that he asked me to go for a drink with him once we got to Dublin :eek:

Emetophilia. Classy.

jimgoose

You do, by all accounts, encounter a disproportionate amount of people on buses who seem to have problems keeping their bodily fluids confined within. :pac:

doyouevenwash

Some people just never wash themself's

Bio Mech

jimgoose wrote: »

You do, by all accounts, encounter a disproportionate amount of people on buses who seem to have problems keeping their bodily fluids confined within. :pac:

Yes when you see the body fluids waterfall coming down the stairs of a Dublin bus nitelink you know its time to try another way of getting home.

The Backwards Man

I love going places on glass lorries, the further the better. I haven't met anyone weirder than meself on one yet.

miss no stars

doyouevenwash wrote: »

Some people just never wash themself's

And even more will skimp on hygiene with water charges

Pinturicchio

I was on a bus in Limerick city once (it turned out to be the wrong bus, but that's another story), and this auld fella got on. He looked like he hadn't been in a city since 1962. Think filthy trousers held up with baling twine. I was sitting looking out the window minding my own business with headphones in. When he got onto the bus, I was alerted to his presence by one of the worst stenches I have ever experienced. I think everybody on the bus noticed it as soon as he got on. He smelled like shite combined with several decades' worth of B.O.

As he walked down the bus, I could see that everyone was petrified that he'd sit beside them (and then relieved once he had gone past them). As he approached my row, I just knew what was coming. Inevitably he sat down beside me. I honestly had to hold in the vomit when I got the full hit of his aroma from close up. I was trapped between him and the window. I could just sense that he wanted to strike up conversation with me, but I turned and studiously stared out the window. After a couple of minutes of me trying in vain to ignore the smell, he goes "grand day isn't it?". It's pissing rain outside. I slowly turned towards him, hoping he wasn't talking to me. He was, of course. I reply "yeah". Opening my mouth to say that almost lets the vomit out. Most of the other passengers are looking on with a mix of pity and disgust on their faces.

He proceeds to ask me where I'm from, who my grandparents are, what they did for a living, where they were from and so on. He won't accept that I'm from Galway city and keeps asking what part of county Galway I'm from. For some reason, I try to answer his question semi-truthfully instead of just getting up and moving seats. Maybe I was starting to get used to the smell. All the while he is enthusiastically scratching his scalp and various other body parts. I'm sure I'm going to get fleas.

Once we have established that I and the last three generations of my family are from no where near Limerick, he asks me where should he get off for Debenham's. I didn't know there was a Debenham's in Limerick. By this stage I have realised that I'm on the wrong bus and am lost, but can't decide what to do about it because I'm too busy trying to block out this old farmer's stench while responding as best I can to his genealogical enquires. After me telling him a few times that I have no idea where Debenham's is, he asks a woman on the row across from us. At this point, I should mention that he has a country accent was almost as strong as his odour. I had been struggling to understand him. This woman seemingly fails to understand and replies to his "where should I get off for Debenham's" question with "no, you're in Limerick", in a tone usually reserved for dementia patients. This annoys him. He tries asking me again. I still don't know where Debenham's is. This further annoys him. I eventually get off the bus into the lashing rain in some part of the outskirts of Limerick that I had never seen before just to get away from him.

hatrickpatrick

Start singing "Seven Drunken Nights".
Reeeeeeeeeeeally slowly.

Boom_Bap

I've had a few on the Dublin -> Dundalk route, back when it used to be over 2 hours long.

One time a shabby looking guy gets on the bus and sits in the centre seat on the back row. Me and a bunch of lads where scattered around him all telling our tales of the night previous. The shabby guy proceeds to open is bag, and take out plastic bags of individually wrapped in newspaper fresh fish. Must have been about 10 - 15 of them. The f*cking stench was horrendous. I never quite understood what he was doing.

Another time, a guy sits down beside me at the station in Dublin and with a Northern accent says 'Catholic or Prodestant?'. He was trying to start an argument with me the whole journey.

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

...Another time, a guy sits down beside me at the station in Dublin and with a Northern accent says 'Catholic or Prodestant?'. He was trying to start an argument with me the whole journey.

Best thing to do there would be turn to face him, look him right in the eye, and roar "See yee, hi! Shut yur fuckan moyth!!"

eisenberg1

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I've had a few on the Dublin -> Dundalk route, back when it used to be over 2 hours long.
Another time, a guy sits down beside me at the station in Dublin and with a Northern accent says 'Catholic or Prodestant?'. He was trying to start an argument with me the whole journey.

Best answer is "Jewish", but depending on the part of the North you are in, you may be asked "Catholic Jewish or Protestant Jewish?":D