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Waiting until Marriage.

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24567…19

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    #32
    Silverman11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭Silverman11


    I would have been of the opinion that women are more likely to wait for a guy then a guy waiting for a girl. People say that sexual compatibility would be a problem but I think if I communicate with the girl then surely it can talked through.


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    #33
    Sir Arthur Daley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    Waiting till you get married for sex and get married then and get none.


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    #34
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Silverman11 wrote: »
    I would have been of the opinion that women are more likely to wait for a guy then a guy waiting for a girl. People say that sexual compatibility would be a problem but I think if I communicate with the girl then surely it can talked through.

    How are you going to communicate when you don't have a clue what you're talking about?


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    #35
    Silverman11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭Silverman11


    Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »
    Waiting till you get married for sex and get married then and get none.

    Is that not usually the case for people who have been having sex before marriage. If I wait then it is a new experience.


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    #36
    Silverman11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭Silverman11


    http://waitingtillmarriage.org/top-5-objections-to-waiting-till-marriage-and-how-to-overcome-them/

    I found this article interesting.


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    #37
    Sir Arthur Daley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    Silverman11 wrote: »
    Is that not usually the case for people who have been having sex before marriage. If I wait then it is a new experience.

    It will of course :rolleyes:


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    #38
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    The most common root of marital problems is sexual. You can talk about whatever you like, but most marriages break down over problems of some kind in the bedroom.

    It would be better to find out BEFORE marriage if you an you fiancée are sexually compatible, because it can be quite hard to change turn ons/turn offs, after a marriage and having lived with said turn-ons/turn-offs for so long.

    Add in another little reality; there are very, very few women who would be willing to enter into a relationship if there was no sex until they were married to you. In fact, if you mentioned this very early in the relationship, most would head for the hills. Or they would try and get you into bed. But very few would be willing to give "no sex until marriage" a shot. Especially nowadays.

    Sex is a basic human want, need and desire. It is genetically programmed into us. It is a wonderful thing. For sure, it is used by many as just a source of pleasure with no meaning behind it (one night stand, quick shag, etc.), but for two people who are in a relationship, without being married, it is a wonderful opportunity to be properly intimate, to bond, to make each other feel amazing and it is part of the natural urge if you are attracted to each other.

    Personally, I think anyone who would knowingly and willingly inflict celibacy on themselves and then attempt to do it to whomever they are going to try and get into a relationship with, is quite naive. Why would you deny yourself one of the greatest pleasures in life? Why would you try to deny that pleasure to someone else? Bad enough you're doing it to yourself (at least you've made your bad choice), but by doing it to someone else, you've eliminated their chance to make a free choice. And you can be damn sure that they will try to get around it some way (by dumping you or by trying to drag you to bed).

    Celibacy is an old-fashioned, stupid, silly way of carrying on. I'm not advocating, as Niall Toibín put it, "a good dose of red hot fornication" either, with random orgies springing up all over the kip. But I believe that sex is a crucial part to ANY romantic relationship between two consenting adults. It is the cause of more hassle and problems if sex is bad or if it does not exist.

    Basically, the point would be:

    Good luck trying to find a woman who would be willing to live like a nun until you decide to marry her. Here, in the 21st Century, sex is no longer the "dirty" act it once was. Time to lose a lot of these hang-ups. Men and women have sex! SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX... get over it.


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    #39
    dar100
    Registered Users Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dar100


    There's also physical compatibility, which you cannot talk through, and if that's not right, your sex life will be sihte.

    You may have a high sex drive, the oh May have a fairly low sex drive, this will cause lots of problems, especially if you don't practice "self abuse" :):)


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    #40
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    Silverman11 wrote: »

    I honestly believe that I could talk with my future wife as regards sexual compatibility. I can't see how I couldn't.


    It's not something that you can just talk about, it's something you won't know until you've had sex, on more than one occasion. Sure you can talk about limits but you will never know if you're sexually compatible through talking alone. I'd never have contemplated sleeping with a virgin much less marrying one!


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    #41
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    So for people waiting, well since straight up sex is off... what's ok? Where's the boundary? Does a sneaky hj down the back of the cinema count?


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    #42
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    c_man wrote: »
    So for people waiting, well since straight up sex is off... what's ok? Where's the boundary? Does a sneaky hj down the back of the cinema count?

    THE SIN OF ONANISM!!! :eek:

    Nope... for most of the celibacy crowd, even "self-abuse" is off the table. Sex is a dirty thing, only meant for procreation and nothing else. :eek:


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    #43
    catallus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    DazMarz wrote: »
    [..]

    Good luck trying to find a woman who would be willing to live like a nun until you decide to marry her. Here, in the 21st Century, sex is no longer the "dirty" act it once was. Time to lose a lot of these hang-ups. Men and women have sex! SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX... get over it.

    I'm sorry but that whole post, from start to finish, is absolute nonsense.

    Marriages hardly ever break down due to bedroom issues. Usually they break down over financial issues.

    As for your thinking on sex having being thought of as "dirty" in the past, it is lazy simplistic thinking.

    The article the OP linked to just now is a very interesting take on the issue.


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    #44
    Yer Aul One
    Registered Users Posts: 664 ✭✭✭Yer Aul One


    Nodin wrote: »
    Why?

    I also want to know that?

    Why do you want to wait?


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    #45
    FearDark
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    OP so would your future wife also have to be a virgin?

    ...good luck with that one.


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    #46
    Kopparberg Strawberry and Lime
    Registered Users Posts: 3,964 ✭✭✭Kopparberg Strawberry and Lime


    Feck that

    Try before you buy


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    #47
    I am pie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭I am pie


    It's lads like this who on their stag do, which they reluctantly consent to, end up mowing through ladies of europe's red light districts like a hungry dog goes through sausages. All those hormones and booze have them ravaged and loosing the run of themselves!

    Que weeks of rocking back and forth hugging himself pre-wedding as he bottles up the shame with self flagellation, a crippling whiskey and porn problem and an itchy helmet.

    Good luck young man.


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    #48
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    DazMarz wrote: »
    THE SIN OF ONANISM!!! :eek:

    Nope... for most of the celibacy crowd, even "self-abuse" is off the table. Sex is a dirty thing, only meant for procreation and nothing else. :eek:

    I was more thinking that the prospective wife is the one administering the hand shandy!


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    #49
    I am pie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭I am pie


    catallus wrote: »
    I'm sorry but that whole post, from start to finish, is absolute nonsense.

    Marriages hardly ever break down due to bedroom issues. Usually they break down over financial issues.

    As for your thinking on sex having being thought of as "dirty" in the past, it is lazy simplistic thinking.

    The article the OP linked to just now is a very interesting take on the issue.

    Financial issues!

    What, like spending too much money in the pub and riding some trout after several costly pints?

    Those kind of financial issues?


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    #50
    dar100
    Registered Users Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dar100


    catallus wrote: »
    I'm sorry but that whole post, from start to finish, is absolute nonsense.

    Marriages hardly ever break down due to bedroom issues. Usually they break down over financial issues.

    As for your thinking on sex having being thought of as "dirty" in the past, it is lazy simplistic thinking.

    The article the OP linked to just now is a very interesting take on the issue.

    Can't agree with this! Many marriages break down over sex, if not sex with each other, then sex outside of the relationship. I was reading an interesting article that suggests the majority of breakups are due to facebook


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    #51
    catallus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    I am pie wrote: »
    Financial issues!

    What, like spending too much money in the pub and riding some trout after several costly pints?

    Those kind of financial issues?

    Ya wha?!:confused:
    dar100 wrote: »
    Can't agree with this! Many marriages break down over sex, if not sex with each other, then sex outside of the relationship. I was reading an interesting article that suggests the majority of breakups are due to facebook

    Well, Facebook is evil.


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    #52
    RobertKK
    Registered Users Posts: 33,739 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    Silverman11 wrote: »
    Okay I am going to explain myself further. I am a Catholic and my faith is really important to me (btw I do not judge anyone for having sex before marriage. My motto is to love all :) ) I do agree with the idea about sex before marriage but I also find it really romantic the thought of saving myself for the woman I love.

    I honestly believe that I could talk with my future wife as regards sexual compatibility. I can't see how I couldn't.

    And Fear Dark I would appreciate it if you didn't attack my beliefs. I don't attack yours. And all women are beautiful :)

    I am also a devout Catholic, don't mind what others say as in put downs. That is their problem, not yours.
    People will think one is ignorant about sex as if sex was some complicated unnatural act that needs to be learned.

    It takes a strong person to wait till marriage and that is something the people who didn't wait should acknowledge.


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    #53
    dar100
    Registered Users Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dar100


    catallus wrote: »
    Ya wha?!:confused:



    Well, Facebook is evil.

    So is Boards:):)


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    #54
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    catallus wrote: »
    I'm sorry but that whole post, from start to finish, is absolute nonsense.

    Marriages hardly ever break down due to bedroom issues. Usually they break down over financial issues.

    As for your thinking on sex having being thought of as "dirty" in the past, it is lazy simplistic thinking.

    The article the OP linked to just now is a very interesting take on the issue.

    Disagree. Almost every marriage break up I know of, including some very close friends, has had sexual incompatibility at the heart of it


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    #55
    FearDark
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    RobertKK wrote: »
    I am also a devout Catholic, don't mind what others say as in put downs. That is their problem, not yours.
    People will think one is ignorant about sex as if sex was some complicated unnatural act that needs to be learned.

    It takes a strong person to wait till marriage and that is something the people who didn't wait should acknowledge.

    It takes a mentally weak person tbh, you know the kind who would get involved in organised religion and fall for all of it's BS teachings.


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    #56
    catallus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    athtrasna wrote: »
    Disagree. Almost every marriage break up I know of, including some very close friends, has had physical incompatibility at the heart of it

    What does this even mean?!


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    #57
    RobertKK
    Registered Users Posts: 33,739 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    FearDark wrote: »
    It takes a mentally weak person tbh, you know the kind who would get involved in organised religion and fall for all of it's BS teachings.

    It is a mentality weak person who would have to attack someone else for believing something they didn't believe and making it their own problem.


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    #58
    dar100
    Registered Users Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dar100


    RobertKK wrote: »
    I am also a devout Catholic, don't mind what others say as in put downs. That is their problem, not yours.
    People will think one is ignorant about sex as if sex was some complicated unnatural act that needs to be learned.


    If one doesn't have sex (Virgin) then one is ignorant about sex. And sex is certainly something that needs to be learned, if that is, you don't want to miss the : tunnel and end up in the back door:):)


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    #59
    pablo128
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,221 ✭✭✭pablo128


    You'd be wanting to start hanging around halting sites if you want someone who'll wait to get married before humping.
    A few tips. Wear wellies, if a lurcher approaches you, give it a kick before it bites you, don't carry money or valuables on you. When booking the wedding reception, leave out the fact she's a traveller. Be prepared to lose your deposit.
    Good luck.


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    #60
    I am pie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭I am pie


    RobertKK wrote: »
    I am also a devout Catholic, don't mind what others say as in put downs. That is their problem, not yours.
    People will think one is ignorant about sex as if sex was some complicated unnatural act that needs to be learned.

    It takes a strong person to wait till marriage and that is something the people who didn't wait should acknowledge.

    I think I can see your nostril hairs from down here.


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    #61
    Dowl88
    Closed Accounts Posts: 167 ✭✭Dowl88


    Did you ever get stinky fingers?


This discussion has been closed.
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