Online dating. Would you? Wouldn't you?

GuessWhoEh

I've recently joined Tinder and so far it's been going pretty well. I've spoken to some decent chaps and I've also been asked for a drink or two by some.

My main question is...

Would you go on a date with someone you've started to chat to online? What are your opinions on internet dating? Have you heard any success stories? Or even embarrassing stories.....

Sir Arthur Daley

Got married after 4 days of meeting someone on tinder, i swear by it.

A Greedy Algorithm

Its a last resort really.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Would you buy clothes online? Book a flight? Download a song?

If so, then why not date someone you met online?

NightOfTheHunt

I'm heading to my local diy store tomorrow to collect some rope and a shovel. Then I'll be all set to try this internet dating lark.

With my gf 2 and a half years now, met her online, kinda strange when people ask where we met!

GuessWhoEh

Duracell Bunny wrote: »

Would you buy clothes online? Book a flight? Download a song?

If so, then why not date someone you met online?

I'm pretty sure you can't refund a bad date...

smellmepower

Bit the bullet and joined one earlier this evening,strangely enough.

I'm not expecting much from it in all honesty, but can't do any harm I suppose.

GuessWhoEh

smellmepower wrote: »

Bit the bullet and joined one earlier this evening,strangely enough.

I'm not expecting much from it in all honesty, but can't do any harm I suppose.

I was always against these dating websites and apps and my friend went on two seperate dates in the last 2 weeks and she said they went grand, meal, drinks and banter. Maybe she was just lucky?

She kept going on about Tinder so eventually I downloaded it. It honestly seems a little harmless but at the same time, talk about your ego failing when a guy you "like" doesn't match back -_-

smellmepower

GuessWhoEh wrote: »

I was always against these dating websites and apps and my friend went on two seperate dates in the last 2 weeks and she said they went grand, meal, drinks and banter. Maybe she was just lucky?

She kept going on about Tinder so eventually I downloaded it. It honestly seems a little harmless but at the same time, talk about your ego failing when a guy you "like" doesn't match back -_-

That tinder thingy is a bit too vain for my tastes (though if I was better looking I'd probably have no problem with it!) at least on some of the dating sites you get a chance to skim over what someone has written on their profile page before dismissing them!

takamichinoku

I've had positive experiences mostly but it depends really, outside of Dublin you're gonna have issues with the relatively low numbers on most sites. I gather pay sites are better if you want to avoid time wasters cos a lot of people might be not that interested in meeting up on free ones and are just there out of boredom.

Installed tinder about a week ago and I didn't really get it at all, it was an extremely misanthropic experience of rejecting people endlessly just to see who the next person was ...probably not for me. Something like it could be cool in a major city if people were serious about it though, arrange loads of instant casual dates with someone else who's free in the area or something.



Very important to have some okay photos too, I guess, especially on tinder.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Was going to start a thread on the following a half hour or so, but I decided to make a bacon sambo instead. Was lovely so it was, anyway ...

OKCupid today admitted that they experimented with and manipulated people's profiles with some interesting, but perhaps particlaby, outcomes:

It Doesn’t Matter What You Write on Your Dating Profile

Lest you think Facebook is the only site conducting experiments on its users, OKCupid published a blog post today on a few of the ways the dating site has transformed itself into a little online love laboratory. One of the most interesting findings: No one pays much attention to the words you so painstakingly chose to describe yourself.

Christian Rudder, one of the site’s co-founders, writes that in an older version of the site, users were able to rate a profile for both looks and personality. But data from that earlier iteration of OKCupid suggested that, to most users, looks and personality are practically interchangeable.

Once OKCupid’s administrators realized that having two rankings wasn’t giving them any additional, useful data, they replaced the two with just one overall rating — though they were pretty sure users were still mostly judging from the photographs. To test this, they manipulated the profiles of about 10,000 users and hid the text on their profiles about half of the time, allowing them to see how much the text influenced the person’s ratings:

The results? “Essentially, the text is less than 10% what people think of you,” Rudder writes. “[Y]our picture is worth that fabled thousand words, but actual words are worth … almost nothing.” All the more reason to worry about your profile picture.

GuessWhoEh

takamichinoku wrote: »

I've had positive experiences mostly but it depends really, outside of Dublin you're gonna have issues with the relatively low numbers on most sites. I gather pay sites are better if you want to avoid time wasters cos a lot of people might be not that interested in meeting up on free ones and are just there out of boredom.

Installed tinder about a week ago and I didn't really get it at all, it was an extremely misanthropic experience of rejecting people endlessly just to see who the next person was ...probably not for me. Something like it could be cool in a major city if people were serious about it though, arrange loads of instant casual dates with someone else who's free in the area or something.



Very important to have some okay photos too, I guess, especially on tinder.

That's my thoughts exactly! When going through the profiles, I'm hardly paying attention half the time because it can be a bit dull but on the other hand, it can be a little exciting.

I've yet to hear some success stories though....

Shenshen

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

Was going to start a thread on the following a half hour or so, but I decided to make a bacon sambo instead. Was lovely so it was, anyway ...

OKCupid today admitted that they experimented with and manipulated people's profiles with some interesting, but perhaps particlaby, outcomes:

Interesting... back when I was still using them, I would never, ever reply to a profile that didn't contain any information.

And I would get annoyed as the proverbial if a first contact message clearly showed that the other person hadn't read mine.

JeffKenna

I wouldn't get laid if it wasn't for online dating.

God bless that sex ap, I mean tinder!

Trebor176

From my experience on POF, girls are a very fussy bunch. It seems there is more to a genuine, honest, friendly chap that they would like, judging by the lack of replies. At least they view the profile. . .after!

The few replies have been from timewasters. That is that the conversation seems to go very well until they stop replying a while later. I've been chatting to a nice girl from Okcupid for a few months now, and we will probably be meeting at some point soon. Though, I don't see any romance on the cards there.

I'm intrigued by this Tinder thing. I may as well join, see what the fuss is and give my opinion further down the line. I feel I may not like it that much.

tink2

I met my now husband on match.com ! I felt the paid sites had more genuine people. You need to be sure on what you are looking for too like someone with the same values etc it can be hit and miss like anything else but worth a try. Try not to let the rejection get to you too much it can be harsh at times and don't spend weeks talking to people before meeting them it can be a real disappointment if you build up a connection that isn't there when you meet! Good luck! ðŸ˜႒

Fat Christy

Does riding them and buying them chips count as a date? If so, then yes.

agriman27

I don't think tinder is that bad, the fact that it can be narrowed down to a local search, its handy to see women who are actually single who you might just know to see when out at night in big groups who are hard to approach sometimes because of cockblockers or friends of friends who I fancy. You can just flick by all the strangers if you want, it's sometimes surprising to see who are looking for someone.

Kev.OC

GuessWhoEh wrote: »

That's my thoughts exactly! When going through the profiles, I'm hardly paying attention half the time because it can be a bit dull but on the other hand, it can be a little exciting.

I've yet to hear some success stories though....

I met my GF of 7 months on Tinder. So there's one success story to get you started.

Micky Dolenz

You'd be mad not to, sure everyone is on the google machine these days.

Elessar

Only overweight women like me on Tinder

I'm not even fat, or ugly. You see I'm a nice guy. Nice guys get all the fat women, unfortunately

EDIT: I'm joking

realgirl

Elessar wrote: »

Only overweight women like me on Tinder

I'm not even fat, or ugly. You see I'm a nice guy. Nice guys get all the fat women, unfortunately

Emm...not a very 'nice' statement...

I just started using tinder 2 weeks ago, am.frustrated with it already!

jebediah

GuessWhoEh wrote: »

I've recently joined Tinder and so far it's been going pretty well. I've spoken to some decent chaps and I've also been asked for a drink or two by some.

My main question is...

Would you go on a date with someone you've started to chat to online? What are your opinions on internet dating? Have you heard any success stories? Or even embarrassing stories.....

They only want to get in your knickers.

spookymuffin

Success story here. Met my husband online and couldn't be happier :-)

Strazdas

Haven't done so so far but things are rapidly heading in that direction anyway. A couple of people flirting on Facebook is a form of online dating when you think about it and I suspect it's going to be the absolute norm in future.

Fat Christy

Elessar wrote: »

Only overweight women like me on Tinder

I'm not even fat, or ugly. You see I'm a nice guy. Nice guys get all the fat women, unfortunately

Thanks Elessar, seriously thanks! I can't believe you found me on boards and decided to comment on the thread I commented on. Way to go, thanks for adding salt to my wounds!! :mad:

I thought you were a nice guy and there was something there, obviously not! You could have just politely said no without leading me on. :mad:

I feel so broken up inside. </3

topcatcbr

Don't replace meeting people in real life with virtual dating.

i met my gf of 4 years on PoF.

i had mixed experience of it before that.

get enough info to establish their not psyco then meet. Make your opinion on real meeting. That for me is how you met. Anything before that is only anonymous chatting.

castletownman

I'm in the process of making an documentary based on my experiences from Tinder.

I'm calling it Tindlers List

Strazdas

topcatcbr wrote: »

Don't replace meeting people in real life with virtual dating.

i met my gf of 4 years on PoF.

i had mixed experience of it before that.

get enough info to establish their not psyco then meet. Make your opinion on real meeting. That for me is how you met. Anything before that is only anonymous chatting.

Dating is starting to move in that direction already though. Many people use social media to communicate with each other and I've a funny feeling the traditional going out to a pub or nightclub on the off chance of meeting someone will actually start to become unfashionable in years to come. The main reason it was the established way of meeting people for decades is that there was no alternative to it, but we're into a whole new ball game now.

Macavity.

Elessar wrote: »

Only overweight women like me on Tinder

If I swipe right on Tinder to a fat woman's profile I'll match with them, same with my friends. None of us are fat. I guess they're just less picky than women of a normal weight. Thankfully I've a good few matches who look after themselves physically.

Sinister Kid

I have been doing the online dating thing on and off the last year or so... I'm on Pof, OKCupid & Tinder at the min. I have to say, out of the three I wouldn't be mad on Tinder. Most seem to be there just for the ego boost... collecting right clicks & not having much of a conversation!
I have been on dates through pof & okc though. Some really good, some so bad I have mentally blocked them out forever & some where we have both had a laugh but the spark was missing...
It's all pretty hit and miss really... Overall I haven't had much luck but one of my friends has, She met her boyfriend through pof and they are a fantastic match!

Pinkmoon19

Hi Guesswhoeh,

I've been using Tinder for the past couple of months. I think it's fun!! My advice is don't take it too seriously, be open minded and don't rely solely on it to meet someone.

I've had around 5 dates now, 1 who I have met a couple of times and will probably meet again. The rest where all fun but nothing there in terms of romance. As long as you're not going to get upset if every date isn't with your Prince Charming then go for it.

It's actually really interesting meeting new people as well, a couple of the guys I met were lovely even though there was no interest in pursuing them romantically.

So in answer to your question, Yes I would meet someone who I have been chatting to online!

KungPao

"Online dating. Would you? Wouldn't you?"

What is it, 2004? Do people still think dating sites are something to be suspicious of? And only odd people use them?

I mean, I have used them, and yes, I am odd, but some people on there are normal.

Really though, it is just as 'normal' as going to a pub to find somebody.

GreeBo

I've met my last two girlfriends online, the process in infallible.

Dravokivich

Meet people online? This isn't the matrix!

IR1SH RANG3R

One thing I hate on dating sites is when a girl's profile says "Want to chat to someone nice who can hold a conversation" then all they reply is yes, no, lol, haha etc. puts me right off!

FTA69

I went on one date from Tinder and while it was nice and all, there was no spark. I don't care what anyone says, if you don't at least want to maul the face off someone on the first date then there's no point dragging the arse out of it. I ended up saying my goodbyes and went to catch the 10pm train from Camden Town.

At the train platform I got chatting to two young ones from Cork, diverted to Dalston for a rake of beer and rode the hoop off one of them.

Moral of the story, go out and enjoy yourself and you're more likely to meet someone on the same level as you.

ancapailldorcha

IR1SH RANG3R wrote: »

One thing I hate on dating sites is when a girl's profile says "Want to chat to someone nice who can hold a conversation" then all they reply is yes, no, lol, haha etc. puts me right off!

Usually that's all they'll type in the "About Me" section of their profile as well.

knucklehead6

There's an Online Dating Forum here on boards, for those of you who are interested.

Mental Mickey

Tried it - didn't work.......met the OH on a night out, and we're together almost a year!!

KungPao

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Tried it - didn't work.......met the OH on a night out, and we're together almost a year!!

You say "work" like it was supposed "to work". It's just another option.

Would you go out drinking a few times and if you didn't pull* say "to hell with going out - it doesn't work!"?


*I don't actually use this term in real life as I'm not a tosser

magicmushroom

I've made friends online, one I meet regularly for gigs etc so I don't see meeting someone for a date as anything odd.

If when you meet you click and fancy each other, why would it matter how you met?

Pinkmoon19

FTA69 wrote: »

I went on one date from Tinder and while it was nice and all, there was no spark. I don't care what anyone says, if you don't at least want to maul the face off someone on the first date then there's no point dragging the arse out of it. I ended up saying my goodbyes and went to catch the 10pm train from Camden Town.

At the train platform I got chatting to two young ones from Cork, diverted to Dalston for a rake of beer and rode the hoop off one of them.

Moral of the story, go out and enjoy yourself and you're more likely to meet someone on the same level as you.

Such beautiful, eloquent language. :D:D

skimpydoo

Tinder is a load of S H I T E. Whenever I get a match I don't get a message from my match. So I send a message and I don't get a reply. Since when have women got so choosey. Why can't they even reply, its common Courtesy and manners. Is there a magic word or phrase you have to use to get a response.

ancapailldorcha

FTA69 wrote: »

I went on one date from Tinder and while it was nice and all, there was no spark. I don't care what anyone says, if you don't at least want to maul the face off someone on the first date then there's no point dragging the arse out of it. I ended up saying my goodbyes and went to catch the 10pm train from Camden Town.

At the train platform I got chatting to two young ones from Cork, diverted to Dalston for a rake of beer and rode the hoop off one of them.

Moral of the story, go out and enjoy yourself and you're more likely to meet someone on the same level as you.

You suave gentleman, you.

Pinkmoon19

Wow there seems to be a lot of quite bitter people on this thread! I think the idea of Tinder and POF is not to take it too seriously. Getting hung up on non-replies and conversations ending abruptly isn't the end of the world. Just chalk it up and move on to the next person.

I've been stood up a good 3 times now, I don't get bitter about it. It sucks but it's all an experience and you just have to laugh.

There was one guy who sent me a message, the generic "How are you?" I mailed back "Thanks for the message, I'm well thanks, how are you?". Then I went away for a long weekend with the girls and wasn't on in 4 days. Came back and had 5 messages for him telling me how much of a snobby b@tch I was for not responding, how I was up myself etc. Advice to anyone here, don't be that guy.

My general rules are:
1) Chat with people you have a common interest with.
2) If there is no indication of meeting up after X amount of time call it a day. No-one needs a penpal, unless of course that's what you want.
3) Don't be pushy/clingy and don't put up with others who are pushy/clingy.
4) Above all else, Have fun. Don't take it so seriously.
5) It's all an experience. Take the good with the bad, laugh at outrageous messages and assholes. It's the only way.

For the guys that are saying conversation ended abruptly etc can I ask how long you were messaging for? Maybe the woman/man thought you had no interest in meeting them? Just a suggestion.

Trebor176

wolfen wrote: »

For the guys that are saying conversation ended abruptly etc can I ask how long you were messaging for? Maybe the woman/man thought you had no interest in meeting them? Just a suggestion.

The longest was a couple of weeks. I remember she replied to me weeks after I first messaged her. I had actually forgotten I messaged her. Anyway, we shared some interests, we had some good conversations. But, at times, I felt there was no interest. Still, I asked her if she wanted to meet for a coffee, and she seemed up for it. But, then she spoke of a bad experience she had had with someone from the dating site, who seemed a bit stalkerish (she gave him her number). Her mind was changed about meeting up, and she stopped messaging. Her account was deleted a while after. I did feel that maybe I suggested the coffee too early on.

The above is a case of a conversation ending abruptly. I am still in touch with someone else I met, and we've been chatting for a couple of months, and plan to meet up soon. But, I had/have feelings for a friend of mine, who I have told. I was also honest with this girl about it too. But, all along, I never thought there would be any romance, if we met. After all, her profile states that she is looking for friends, rather than someone to date. We do get on well, though. So far, anyway.

I don't know if any of you saw the Metro Herald this morning, where they mentioned that OkCupid were intentionally matching people with someone that they wouldn't be suited to as a sort of experiment. Made me think of what else is going on behind the scenes.

I've been using Tinder for the last while, not taking things seriously at all. Got some matches but very few replied to me. But I got matched with someone a few weeks ago, we met up and we're getting on quite well, so fingers crossed.

Czarcasm

KungPao wrote: »

"Online dating. Would you? Wouldn't you?"

What is it, 2004? Do people still think dating sites are something to be suspicious of? And only odd people use them?

I mean, I have used them, and yes, I am odd, but some people on there are normal.

Really though, it is just as 'normal' as going to a pub to find somebody.

It's not though, because with online dating you already have a mental image in your head of what the person should be like, and more often than not, it turns out either they're not what you thought they were, or you don't have a whole lot to talk about, or the instant chemistry that you get when you meet a stranger for the first time is lacking.

Online dating is merely a convenient way to meet people, but far too many people get their hopes up about it and invest too much of their time in it, literally people fishing as opposed to actually taking the time to get to know one person by spending time with them offline.

hairyprincess

Met my bf almost three years ago on POF and we've recently moved in together. He was my third time lucky. First guy, who I had known from a past life was only after one thing, second guy was a nutter.
The bf went on a few dates and had a couple of brief relationships. It worked for us because neither of us are pub goers so we never would have met anyone outside of work.
Its a great way to meet prospective partners imo. Just be careful and tell someone where you are going. And don't drag out the chatting for months before you meet, you risk getting friend-zoned.