Online dating. Would you? Wouldn't you?

Hi Guesswhoeh,

I've been using Tinder for the past couple of months. I think it's fun!! My advice is don't take it too seriously, be open minded and don't rely solely on it to meet someone.

I've had around 5 dates now, 1 who I have met a couple of times and will probably meet again. The rest where all fun but nothing there in terms of romance. As long as you're not going to get upset if every date isn't with your Prince Charming then go for it.

It's actually really interesting meeting new people as well, a couple of the guys I met were lovely even though there was no interest in pursuing them romantically.

So in answer to your question, Yes I would meet someone who I have been chatting to online!

I've met my last two girlfriends online, the process in infallible.

One thing I hate on dating sites is when a girl's profile says "Want to chat to someone nice who can hold a conversation" then all they reply is yes, no, lol, haha etc. puts me right off!

IR1SH RANG3R wrote: »

One thing I hate on dating sites is when a girl's profile says "Want to chat to someone nice who can hold a conversation" then all they reply is yes, no, lol, haha etc. puts me right off!

Usually that's all they'll type in the "About Me" section of their profile as well.

Tried it - didn't work.......met the OH on a night out, and we're together almost a year!!

I've made friends online, one I meet regularly for gigs etc so I don't see meeting someone for a date as anything odd.

If when you meet you click and fancy each other, why would it matter how you met?

Tinder is a load of S H I T E. Whenever I get a match I don't get a message from my match. So I send a message and I don't get a reply. Since when have women got so choosey. Why can't they even reply, its common Courtesy and manners. Is there a magic word or phrase you have to use to get a response.

Wow there seems to be a lot of quite bitter people on this thread! I think the idea of Tinder and POF is not to take it too seriously. Getting hung up on non-replies and conversations ending abruptly isn't the end of the world. Just chalk it up and move on to the next person.

I've been stood up a good 3 times now, I don't get bitter about it. It sucks but it's all an experience and you just have to laugh.

There was one guy who sent me a message, the generic "How are you?" I mailed back "Thanks for the message, I'm well thanks, how are you?". Then I went away for a long weekend with the girls and wasn't on in 4 days. Came back and had 5 messages for him telling me how much of a snobby b@tch I was for not responding, how I was up myself etc. Advice to anyone here, don't be that guy.

My general rules are:
1) Chat with people you have a common interest with.
2) If there is no indication of meeting up after X amount of time call it a day. No-one needs a penpal, unless of course that's what you want.
3) Don't be pushy/clingy and don't put up with others who are pushy/clingy.
4) Above all else, Have fun. Don't take it so seriously.
5) It's all an experience. Take the good with the bad, laugh at outrageous messages and assholes. It's the only way.

For the guys that are saying conversation ended abruptly etc can I ask how long you were messaging for? Maybe the woman/man thought you had no interest in meeting them? Just a suggestion.

Met my bf almost three years ago on POF and we've recently moved in together. He was my third time lucky. First guy, who I had known from a past life was only after one thing, second guy was a nutter.
The bf went on a few dates and had a couple of brief relationships. It worked for us because neither of us are pub goers so we never would have met anyone outside of work.
Its a great way to meet prospective partners imo. Just be careful and tell someone where you are going. And don't drag out the chatting for months before you meet, you risk getting friend-zoned.

Trebor176 wrote: »

The longest was a couple of weeks. I remember she replied to me weeks after I first messaged her. I had actually forgotten I messaged her. Anyway, we shared some interests, we had some good conversations. But, at times, I felt there was no interest. Still, I asked her if she wanted to meet for a coffee, and she seemed up for it. But, then she spoke of a bad experience she had had with someone from the dating site, who seemed a bit stalkerish (she gave him her number). Her mind was changed about meeting up, and she stopped messaging. Her account was deleted a while after. I did feel that maybe I suggested the coffee too early on.

The above is a case of a conversation ending abruptly. I am still in touch with someone else I met, and we've been chatting for a couple of months, and plan to meet up soon. But, I had/have feelings for a friend of mine, who I have told. I was also honest with this girl about it too. But, all along, I never thought there would be any romance, if we met. After all, her profile states that she is looking for friends, rather than someone to date. We do get on well, though. So far, anyway.

Hi Trebor,

It sounds like that girl genuinely did have a bad experience and was just really put off dating sites, it wasn't a personal thing to do with you. I don't think you offered coffee too early and I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. When she mentioned "stalkerish" is there any possibility that you came on too strong? Did you say anything like "I really like you", or anything to that effect? Coming on too strong at the start can be very off putting.

With the 2nd girl are you sure you want to be friend zoned? IMO Tinder and POF are for dating, not really so conducive to making friends. If you are looking for a girlfriend I would cut this now or you're going to end up disappointed and hurt. Regardless of whether you are meeting as friends or romantically 2 months is an extremely long time. Sometimes online clicking doesn't equate in real life. What is holding you both back from meeting?

People, no matter what all the "touchy feely" literature and media tries to make us believe, looks take the lion's share in the decision to make first contact with someone or not, in a pub just the same as online.

As a matter of fact, the profiles on dating websites are more likely to push somebody away rather than attract them...stuff like "shur up 4 sm craic!" as the description or "yummy mommy!" as the profession will make a lot of people run for their money, regardless of how good looking the person might be.

FTA69 wrote: »

I went on one date from Tinder and while it was nice and all, there was no spark. I don't care what anyone says, if you don't at least want to maul the face off someone on the first date then there's no point dragging the arse out of it. I ended up saying my goodbyes and went to catch the 10pm train from Camden Town.

At the train platform I got chatting to two young ones from Cork, diverted to Dalston for a rake of beer and rode the hoop off one of them.

Moral of the story, go out and enjoy yourself and you're more likely to meet someone on the same level as you.

Agree with the first part, disagree with the last period, love the writing - it almost made me fall off my chair

skimpydoo wrote: »

Tinder is a load of S H I T E. Whenever I get a match I don't get a message from my match. So I send a message and I don't get a reply. Since when have women got so choosey. Why can't they even reply, its common Courtesy and manners. Is there a magic word or phrase you have to use to get a response.

realgirl wrote: »

I 100% agree, being choosy is essential!

Women always have been choosy and simply because they can. No matter what, it's ultimately their decision and there's absolutely nothing that will change that. Sometimes it can be difficult for us guys to understand it as many would quite literally stick it into a bagel, as long as they get some action

cazzer22 wrote: »

I've used POF and Tinder and I found Tinder to be quite strange. I always seemed to find people I know/knew on it...[CUT]...personally I find it much easier to meet people out (pubs, social groups, gigs, concerts etc) then online dating apps and websites, it's just more real.

If everyone was more open and honest about themselves and shunned the stupid, idiotic and anachronistic social conventions there would be no need whatsoever to any dating service and similar.

As for the second part, it really depends person by person. Somebody who is a non drinker will have a hard time enjoying a night out in Ireland, it will be clear and it will make it difficult for him/her to meet anybody as they'd come across as grumpy.

As for it being more "real", I beg to differ...I have seen so many friends spitting out the most hyperbolic baloney trying to impress a girl it's cringeworthy; From the guy that works as an IT engineer saying he doesn't like computers to the one that was an experienced scuba diver after taking two lessons. Not sure if the ladies are up to the same antics, but I wouldn't be surprised; Guess next time I'll claim I'm a Formula 1 driver because of the 2-days track driving course I took 15 years ago.

knucklehead6 wrote: »

There's no hard and fast answer to this. Some women will reply with a thanks but no thanks message, and some won't.

Some of the women who reply with a thanks but no thanks message then get a torrent of abuse along the lines of...I've seen those messages. Why should a woman invite those messages on herself just because she is not interested in a chap?

It's the ugly side of non-first-person interaction. There's no fear of reprisal, so people do and say things they wouldn't face to face. Not answering at all is the easy way out, but doesn't really shield from the same kind of abuse happening regardless.

Unfortunately in the "real world", some women abuse the "no fear of reprisal" part; Every guy had it happen at least once. Sure enough you deserve it if you're an asshole, but most of the times a "no thanks" would work no problem, without the need of burying the poor sod in insults - which happens more frequently than it should.

wolfen wrote: »

This actually happens fairly regularly. Its a catch 22, you don't respond you're a B@*ch, you do respond and say no thanks you're a b@*ch. :eek: Seriously can't win sometimes.

I'm of the opinion that i'd actually prefer a no reply (cos then i can get all high horsey and call you a bitch:p , or pretend that you never saw the message:o ) and live in a little self deluded bubble of non suspense than get a message back that is essentially saying "Yeah, you're not good enough for me, thanks but no thanks"