This could be it. What'll I Do?

faceman

Howya AH. I could be on my last few minutes on earth so I'm spending it with you. I'm on a flight over the Atlantic and we've hit the weirdest turbulence ever. It was bumpy but now it's not. But the engines are making funny noises though so im assuming the worst.

I seem to be the only one freaking out which makes me think none of these people are right in the head. Why aren't they freaking out?

Anyway. I'm comptemplating life and all that. I could contact home but they'd tell me I'm bonkers. So I need the good folk of AH in my hour of need

I'll need a good eulogy. Has to have a bit of humour as well as something touching

They'll probably want gifts for the mass. Any ideas?

Also who wants my stuff? I've a signed photo of Larry Gogan at home and a piece of rock that apparently comes from Alcatraz. I've also 1 bottle of Sam Adams
Lager too.

Now I'm waiting for the captain to come to say a few words of hope. In the meantime what should I do?

Btw I'm sitting beside a calm collected aul fella who I don't know. He's busy listening to music. So he's not going to hug me.

Relieve me of my sweaty palms AH, you're my only hope...

*salutes*

Fr_Dougal

On an airplane, well laa dee daa!

No recession there!

Sir Arthur Daley

Have they put diesel in the tanks again?

Mint Sauce

<Ooooooo, look at me, I'm on the internet, on an aeroplane...>

Well la la de la.

:P

fussyonion

Write down why you think you deserve a parachute.

KeithM89

Just hope the impact kills you, wouldn't be too much fun floating around in the Atlantic waiting to drown knowing there's no hope any rescuers will reach you in time.

shopaholic01

Fap. You'll be dead before they can arrest you.

faceman

I wish it was la de da but it's not. I'm travelling for work. I haven't a penny to me name. Unless the Larry Gogan autograph is worth money?

I think a parachute would be wasted on me. I haven't been to the toilet.

Fr_Dougal

faceman wrote: »

I wish it was la de da but it's not. I'm travelling for work. I haven't a penny to me name. Unless the Larry Gogan autograph is worth money?

I think a parachute would be wasted on me. I haven't been to the toilet.

Thinly veiled 'I have a job and travel with work' post.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Looks like you picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

House of Blaze

All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close.

Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Nemeses

faceman wrote: »

I wish it was la de da but it's not. I'm travelling for work. I haven't a penny to me name. Unless the Larry Gogan autograph is worth money?

I think a parachute would be wasted on me. I haven't been to the toilet.

Probably now's a good time! I mean, you don't wanna die and then let people find a dead body that sh@t itself do ya...

Think & plan ahead!

punisher5112

Have they used the 1 inch of sticky tape, god bless you.


Keep running up and down the aisle screaming let me off let me off.


Get into brace position and start praying then others will be worried.

Sir Arthur Daley

faceman wrote: »

I haven't been to the toilet.

Senekot or consume a couple of gallons of Guinness would cure that ailement.

Pat Mustard

Your post seems remarkably sober, for a man who's about to punch his ticket.

Surely there's a drinks trolley nearby?

House of Blaze

The Mustard wrote: »

Your post seems remarkably sober, for a man who's about to punch his ticket.

Surely there's a drinks trolley nearby?

I'm afraid not sir.

And don't call me shirley.

faceman

The Mustard wrote: »

Your post seems remarkably sober, for a man who's about to punch his ticket.

Surely there's a drinks trolley nearby?

It's Aer Lingus. No free gargle!

Right I'm going to toilet just in case. The seat belt light is on though. I'll just go in my water bottle

hatrickpatrick

Press the emergency button!
The one with "emergency" written on it.

Sarn

Aviation and aircraft forum

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>

evolving_doors

I will give advice...

But first one question..

Beats or Sennheiser headphones?

Nemeses

Sarn wrote: »

Aviation and aircraft forum

---

>

Wouldn't it be better in the "Life & Death / Snakes on a Plane" forum ?

JONJO THE MISER

I cant see no Aer Lingus flight over the atlantic on flightradar24.

fussyonion

OP, if you snuff it, can I have your empty Fairy Liquid bottle?
I'm making a rocket. Thxbai.

catallus

It has been half an hour now, is the OP brown bread or what?

Pat Mustard

faceman wrote: »

It's Aer Lingus. No free gargle!

Well stick it on your credit card then. Jaysus, no sign of panic here anyway.

faceman

Armelodie wrote: »

I will give advice...

But first one question..

Beats or Sennheiser headphones?

Bose QC something or other.

Ok they're serving the food now. I guess no point kicking it on an empty stomach but chicken tikka as a last meal is hardly rock and roll.

Whose written the eulogy?

daithi1970

..start shouting Allahu-ahkbar! repeatedly. That should enhance the mood of your fellow travellers.

faceman

Right. I've tried chatting to Mr. Quiet beside me but I think he thinks I'm chatting him.

Need a new approach?

dmc17

faceman wrote: »

Right. I've tried chatting to Mr. Quiet beside me but I think he thinks I'm chatting him.

Need a new approach?

Rub his leg or something. What exactly are you trying to achieve again?

evolving_doors

Hmmm Bose...

Ok so you seem to know good quality...

My advice then is to start thinking about a new mod to take over from you on all those forums. Otherwise all your hard work of holding the trolls back will have been for nothing...

And no .. not that guy either... he is a good regular poster alright but just a bit too aloof to keep the show on the road...

PizzamanIRL

You're on a plane that's about to go down and you haven't take a selfie yet? Back to square one you go.

gifted

faceman wrote: »

Howya AH. I could be on my last few minutes on earth so I'm spending it with you. I'm on a flight over the Atlantic and we've hit the weirdest turbulence ever. It was bumpy but now it's not. But the engines are making funny noises though so im assuming the worst.

I seem to be the only one freaking out which makes me think none of these people are right in the head. Why aren't they freaking out?

Anyway. I'm comptemplating life and all that. I could contact home but they'd tell me I'm bonkers. So I need the good folk of AH in my hour of need

I'll need a good eulogy. Has to have a bit of humour as well as something touching

They'll probably want gifts for the mass. Any ideas?

Also who wants my stuff? I've a signed photo of Larry Gogan at home and a piece of rock that apparently comes from Alcatraz. I've also 1 bottle of Sam Adams
Lager too.

Now I'm waiting for the captain to come to say a few words of hope. In the meantime what should I do?

Btw I'm sitting beside a calm collected aul fella who I don't know. He's busy listening to music. So he's not going to hug me.

Relieve me of my sweaty palms AH, you're my only hope...

*salutes*

Please tell us your not the feckin pilot cos that has to be the worst word from the captain ever..:D

Mr. CooL ICE

Maybe there is something wrong with the left fillangey?

Gran Hermano

Do you have access to a pack of Nurofen and the current Cara inflight magazine?
Can you speak with a Cork accent?

dar100

catallus wrote: »

It has been half an hour now, is the OP brown bread or what?

Hopefully:)

INEEDANID

Hope you don't end up in a pig pen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrxPuk0JefA

faceman

Her man out headphones on. He's not up for the banter.

I've 6 hours 20 minutes to go.

There's nothing on the telly and there's only clouds out the window. I think that means we're still in the air. The agony is too much.

FunLover18

corner of hells

I'm goin' out to wait at the end of the runway , like in that Memphis Belle film.
If I see a plane in distance , I'll start hollerin' and ringing bells and ya'll come running .

Ruu

Sexy sex with the flight attendants.

Ditch

daithi1970 wrote: »

..start shouting Allahu-ahkbar! repeatedly. That should enhance the mood of your fellow travellers.

:D:D Simply hitting the Thanks button can't even Begin to convey how much I liked that one!

Ye'd have to have a mate filming the screaming people around ye though ~ couldn't Not capture such a scene!

naughtysmurf

Stop being a pussy OP, ya got a light & whistle on your life jacket, you'll be grand

ceadaoin.

faceman wrote: »

Her man out headphones on. He's not up for the banter.

I've 6 hours 20 minutes to go.

There's nothing on the telly and there's only clouds out the window. I think that means we're still in the air. The agony is too much.

I'm assuming there are numerous Americans on the plane, a few at least will be carrying some anti anxiety medication. Fake a panic attack, someone offers you a Xanax, the rest of the flight will be no bother.

Yellowblackbird

Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home.

House of Blaze

Why hasn't the op been posting more?

If the plane goes down you won't have to worry about the roaming charges.

The_Valeyard

So........... Ya dead yet?

5uspect

Got a flight number for us?
http://www.flightradar24.com
We can watch...

frozenfrozen

Like schrodingers cat if the plane crashes and we don't find it you're not actually dead, right? So you can just keep posting on boards until the plane is found and you'll know for sure whether you're dead or not

PizzamanIRL

Mr. CooL ICE

If there was ever a time for a danger ****, this is it

faceman

5uspect wrote: »

Got a flight number for us?
http://www.flightradar24.com
We can watch...

EI147

I'm still here. Barely. I'm very conscious of my breathing. I think I keep forgetting to breath. I'm peeing a lot much to the annoyance of the Quiet Man.

They have the blinds down. Even though it's constant day time. Something fishy.
Then I saw one of the cabin crew emerge from a secret room that has a downstairs with a lunchbox. Bet she didn't have chicken tikka.

I've another 5 hours 25 minutes to go. I'm over some part of Canada that's so barren they weren't arsed to name it.

I'm just about holding it together AH. You're all my heroes.