This could be it. What'll I Do?

faceman · 05-07-2014 02:59PM #1

Howya AH. I could be on my last few minutes on earth so I'm spending it with you. I'm on a flight over the Atlantic and we've hit the weirdest turbulence ever. It was bumpy but now it's not. But the engines are making funny noises though so im assuming the worst.

I seem to be the only one freaking out which makes me think none of these people are right in the head. Why aren't they freaking out?

Anyway. I'm comptemplating life and all that. I could contact home but they'd tell me I'm bonkers. So I need the good folk of AH in my hour of need

I'll need a good eulogy. Has to have a bit of humour as well as something touching

They'll probably want gifts for the mass. Any ideas?

Also who wants my stuff? I've a signed photo of Larry Gogan at home and a piece of rock that apparently comes from Alcatraz. I've also 1 bottle of Sam Adams
Lager too.

Now I'm waiting for the captain to come to say a few words of hope. In the meantime what should I do?

Btw I'm sitting beside a calm collected aul fella who I don't know. He's busy listening to music. So he's not going to hug me.

Relieve me of my sweaty palms AH, you're my only hope...

*salutes*

Fr_Dougal · 05-07-2014 03:01PM

On an airplane, well laa dee daa!

No recession there!

Sir Arthur Daley · 05-07-2014 03:02PM

Have they put diesel in the tanks again?

Mint Sauce · 05-07-2014 03:03PM

<Ooooooo, look at me, I'm on the internet, on an aeroplane...>

Well la la de la.

:P

fussyonion · 05-07-2014 03:03PM

Write down why you think you deserve a parachute.

KeithM89 · 05-07-2014 03:03PM

Just hope the impact kills you, wouldn't be too much fun floating around in the Atlantic waiting to drown knowing there's no hope any rescuers will reach you in time.

shopaholic01 · 05-07-2014 03:04PM

Fap. You'll be dead before they can arrest you.

faceman · 05-07-2014 03:05PM

I wish it was la de da but it's not. I'm travelling for work. I haven't a penny to me name. Unless the Larry Gogan autograph is worth money?

I think a parachute would be wasted on me. I haven't been to the toilet.

Fr_Dougal · 05-07-2014 03:06PM

faceman wrote: »

I wish it was la de da but it's not. I'm travelling for work. I haven't a penny to me name. Unless the Larry Gogan autograph is worth money?

I think a parachute would be wasted on me. I haven't been to the toilet.

Thinly veiled 'I have a job and travel with work' post.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller · 05-07-2014 03:07PM

Looks like you picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

House of Blaze · 05-07-2014 03:09PM

All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close.

Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Nemeses · 05-07-2014 03:13PM

faceman wrote: »

I wish it was la de da but it's not. I'm travelling for work. I haven't a penny to me name. Unless the Larry Gogan autograph is worth money?

I think a parachute would be wasted on me. I haven't been to the toilet.

Probably now's a good time! I mean, you don't wanna die and then let people find a dead body that sh@t itself do ya...

Think & plan ahead!

punisher5112 · 05-07-2014 03:14PM

Have they used the 1 inch of sticky tape, god bless you.

Keep running up and down the aisle screaming let me off let me off.

Get into brace position and start praying then others will be worried.

Sir Arthur Daley · 05-07-2014 03:15PM

faceman wrote: »

I haven't been to the toilet.

Senekot or consume a couple of gallons of Guinness would cure that ailement.

Pat Mustard · 05-07-2014 03:18PM

Your post seems remarkably sober, for a man who's about to punch his ticket.

Surely there's a drinks trolley nearby?

House of Blaze · 05-07-2014 03:21PM

The Mustard wrote: »

Your post seems remarkably sober, for a man who's about to punch his ticket.

Surely there's a drinks trolley nearby?

I'm afraid not sir.

And don't call me shirley.

faceman · 05-07-2014 03:21PM

The Mustard wrote: »

Your post seems remarkably sober, for a man who's about to punch his ticket.

Surely there's a drinks trolley nearby?

It's Aer Lingus. No free gargle!

Right I'm going to toilet just in case. The seat belt light is on though. I'll just go in my water bottle

hatrickpatrick · 05-07-2014 03:22PM

Press the emergency button!
The one with "emergency" written on it.

Sarn · 05-07-2014 03:26PM

Aviation and aircraft forum

>

evolving_doors · 05-07-2014 03:27PM

I will give advice...

But first one question..

Beats or Sennheiser headphones?

Nemeses · 05-07-2014 03:28PM

Sarn wrote: »

Aviation and aircraft forum
>

Wouldn't it be better in the "Life & Death / Snakes on a Plane" forum ?

JONJO THE MISER · 05-07-2014 03:29PM

I cant see no Aer Lingus flight over the atlantic on flightradar24.

fussyonion · 05-07-2014 03:30PM

OP, if you snuff it, can I have your empty Fairy Liquid bottle?
I'm making a rocket. Thxbai.

catallus · 05-07-2014 03:31PM

It has been half an hour now, is the OP brown bread or what?

Pat Mustard · 05-07-2014 03:31PM

faceman wrote: »

It's Aer Lingus. No free gargle!

Well stick it on your credit card then. Jaysus, no sign of panic here anyway.

faceman · 05-07-2014 03:33PM

Armelodie wrote: »

I will give advice...

But first one question..

Beats or Sennheiser headphones?

Bose QC something or other.

Ok they're serving the food now. I guess no point kicking it on an empty stomach but chicken tikka as a last meal is hardly rock and roll.

Whose written the eulogy?

daithi1970 · 05-07-2014 03:34PM

..start shouting Allahu-ahkbar! repeatedly. That should enhance the mood of your fellow travellers.

faceman · 05-07-2014 03:43PM

Right. I've tried chatting to Mr. Quiet beside me but I think he thinks I'm chatting him.

Need a new approach?

dmc17 · 05-07-2014 04:13PM

faceman wrote: »

Right. I've tried chatting to Mr. Quiet beside me but I think he thinks I'm chatting him.

Need a new approach?

Rub his leg or something. What exactly are you trying to achieve again?

evolving_doors · 05-07-2014 04:13PM

Hmmm Bose...

Ok so you seem to know good quality...

My advice then is to start thinking about a new mod to take over from you on all those forums. Otherwise all your hard work of holding the trolls back will have been for nothing...

And no .. not that guy either... he is a good regular poster alright but just a bit too aloof to keep the show on the road...

PizzamanIRL · 05-07-2014 04:27PM

You're on a plane that's about to go down and you haven't take a selfie yet? Back to square one you go.

This could be it. What'll I Do?

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