Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

scrimshanker

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

My sleep hygiene has been particularly brutal this week and I'm feeling the affects of it now.

My DBT books arrived earlier this week and I haven't even opened them to sniff that new book smell.

Oh bugger, I got a new book during the week (the Feeling Good Handbook by Dr Burns) and I forgot to sniff it. :mad:


(Got a job)

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

It's scary to even consider that one might not ultimately pull out of this even with the high doses of medication.

Its interesting too that the medication out these days isnt any more efective then the first anti depressants that came out in the 50s. Although the side effects are much less thankfully. Seems to be a lot of research into ketamine which is a horse tranquiliser but seems to have great effects on treating depression. So heres hoping in future years the meds they perscribe will be more effective for it.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Oh bugger, I got a new book during the week (the Feeling Good Handbook by Dr Burns) and I forgot to sniff it. :mad:


(Got a job)

The smell might still be there though! Sniff and see!

Well done, Scrim!

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Oh bugger, I got a new book during the week (the Feeling Good Handbook by Dr Burns) and I forgot to sniff it. :mad:


(Got a job)

Congratulations

I realised this week from dbt that I get annoyed by people so so easily. Even on boards I have to block people as what they post drives me insane. Maybe it's why I find making friends so difficult.

Diamond Doll

scrimshanker wrote: »

Oh bugger, I got a new book during the week (the Feeling Good Handbook by Dr Burns) and I forgot to sniff it. :mad:


(Got a job)

Love how you just slipped that in so casually about the job ... big congrats! Well done.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Its interesting too that the medication out these days isnt any more efective then the first anti depressants that came out in the 50s. Although the side effects are much less thankfully. Seems to be a lot of research into ketamine which is a horse tranquiliser but seems to have great effects on treating depression. So heres hoping in future years the meds they perscribe will be more effective for it.

Fingers crossed. Another few decades like this isn't a welcome thought.

Gremlinertia

Scrim got a job? Well done!.

freudiangirl

Well done scrim.!


I got on ok with psychiatrist today. She was human for once. I find that things can go ok and I.might be playing with kids out the back yet the thoughts keep ruminating.

My pdoc is going to increase my seroquil at night to help with sleep and hope fully as a mood stabiliser.

I have to see crisis team at weekend so it be it will be good to have extra support.

Anyhow, I need to sleep have busy day with 2 of 3 of my boys tomorrow so nighty nighty

Joya

three years of dealing with severe clinical depression and anxiety... am on meds for the last two years, but managed to cut down from 60mg to 10mg of citalopram..
but feel i will relapse.. just is too hard to cope like this with things that happened lately in my life..
i let myself go into a relationship even i was not sure i am ready to do so.. but it happened..
im trying to stay up but things that hurting me are really dragging me down and yes, the effort to stay above the water are taking lots of effort..
to resort to meds once again.. oh.. thought im already out .. almost out of it....
sorry for the rant.. if it is whats this called..
feel very sad and yes, just reading on some websites of depression and came across the sentence sadness you feel when you are ready to accept the loss and not denying it.. i thin i need to do just that.. accept the loss of whatever was lost by late events this week.. and go over it somehow.. i am so bad at pretending.. just cannot do it.... not that strong at all.................
m really sorry for this post just didn't know where else to write..... or talk with.... can hold it in anymore....

mg1982

Joya wrote: »

three years of dealing with severe clinical depression and anxiety... am on meds for the last two years, but managed to cut down from 60mg to 10mg of citalopram..
but feel i will relapse.. just is too hard to cope like this with things that happened lately in my life..
i let myself go into a relationship even i was not sure i am ready to do so.. but it happened..
im trying to stay up but things that hurting me are really dragging me down and yes, the effort to stay above the water are taking lots of effort..
to resort to meds once again.. oh.. thought im already out .. almost out of it....
sorry for the rant.. if it is whats this called..
feel very sad and yes, just reading on some websites of depression and came across the sentence sadness you feel when you are ready to accept the loss and not denying it.. i thin i need to do just that.. accept the loss of whatever was lost by late events this week.. and go over it somehow.. i am so bad at pretending.. just cannot do it.... not that strong at all.................
m really sorry for this post just didn't know where else to write..... or talk with.... can hold it in anymore....

There is absolutley no shame in going back on the meds. Thats what there there for. Sorry to hear you been through such a hard time.

Joya

mg1982 wrote: »

There is absolutley no shame in going back on the meds. Thats what there there for. Sorry to hear you been through such a hard time.

thanks mg, i just did..
for the last 2 years i managed to lessen my ups and downs oscilations to a minimum and was ok with that, it helped.. so this low i seem not yet to be able to overcome on my own....
as i read in that article, no point in denying it anymore.. or trying to fool myself.. or just hoping for a mirracle to happen and all to be alright again..
i know the road never leads you backwards so i need to find a new good mental place for me to breath in .. and this state where i feel like im just falling and nothing to hold onto is so hard to experience.. i think its the worst.. id just want to close myself and curl on the bed and stay that way for as long as it takes....... again......

carzony

Joya,

I am in the same position as you mate. I have been off the meds for months but have decided to go back on them because of severe anxiety and now depression. I just can't cope anymore and today i'm on the brink of tears, last few days i've just wanted to die.

How bad is your anxiety? as i've said on here before i'm even struggling to leave the house lately....

Joya

carzony wrote: »

Joya,

I am in the same position as you mate. I have been off the meds for months but have decided to go back on them because of severe anxiety and now depression. I just can't cope anymore and today i'm on the brink of tears, last few days i've just wanted to die.

How bad is your anxiety? as i've said on here before i'm even struggling to leave the house lately....

sorry to hear that, i know how it is.. it is bad, being me not wanting to get off the bed.. last year it is how i spent most of my days (apart from pushing myself to study for college) .. but that was all i was abe to do for days weks and months.. id say to myself that if breathing is all i can do then it is ok.. take one breath at the time its ok..
now im not single and im also working and studying and perhaps im pushing myself over my limit.. i really wish to overcome this (also cs i do not want other person regardless something he did hurt me and triggered the things seeing me in this state) but as more as i strive i think it becomes worse cause you cannot push the process like that..
so i guess ill just let myself dwell on this place for a while or as long as it takes and whichever consequences it may have...
not sure what else to do........ perhaps ill try to go back into therapy some time soon.....

carzony

i am spending lots of time in bed myself and really don't wanna go anywhere, EVER!!. Even getting an appointement for the doc on Monday is a major hassle for me.

Joya

aw yes.. i need to go to my gp for prescriptions an i always wait till the day i actually do not have any more meds at me so HAVE to go, rather than doing it few days earlier... and not only that..

mg1982

The road to recovery wont be easy. There will be lots of twists and turns along the way. But someday i hope all of us will get there.

Joya

i hope so too.. for all of us...
just read in another article saying to forgive yourself.. (for whatever, including feeling down..)
it triggers something inside me at the moment..
like not to be harsh or feel bad cause you cannot be good and well .. for not being at the place you'd want to be..

i guess it is part of the acceptance stage... i remember it from before..

Joya

i guess part of depression is not allowing yourself to feel anger about the situation?
i realised im actually angry cause of this situation in a way that i wonder why people have to hurt you and break you first before they start taking you or your words (and their promises) seriously.. why was that necessary just really ... and not protect you when you are fragile.. now there is a hole in my heart and i cannot just fix it with some magic .. and the inner conflict between wish to be alone and to stay... and if someone walks over you and you let them whats the guarantee or base upon yull know they will not do it again.. idk... i wish im not so f..ked up
i guess this is whats called a grieving process...... cause i feel really sad....

scrimshanker

I dunno what to do, the fight is being drained from me. Turns out my psychiatrist has to report the abuse even though I haven't given a name and don't want it reported. Even though she said she wouldn't if I didn't name him.

I now seem to have an overwhelming urge to name the guy.

I don't know what to do. I start my new job on Monday, I don't want this still playing on my mind then. But I don't want to make a rash decision and blurt it out when I might regret it. I just don't know what to do. In time I might have been fine with naming him but now I'm being forced to before I'm ready so I might never name him now.

Gremlinertia

Scrim, horrible situation, remember there is no actual need for you to name right now though.. So even though you feel betrayed things haven't changed because no one outside you has any idea about that name.. That's your power right there. You reveal if and when you are ready.

Hugo Stiglitz

So sorry to hear of your troubles, lads. Am here for PM if ye needed to.

scrimshanker

Decided to give them a name and make this all go away. Psychiatrist uncontactable until Monday. Wonderful.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Decided to give them a name and make this all go away. Psychiatrist uncontactable until Monday. Wonderful.

What a weekend to happen, just before you start a new job. However maybe it is good that you can't contact the pdoc until Monday. You still have the weekend to mull over it. You don't want to rush in to anything that you aren't ready for.

Just remember that it is one step at a time. Focus on the here and now, not what may happen in the future.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

What a weekend to happen, just before you start a new job. However maybe it is good that you can't contact the pdoc until Monday. You still have the weekend to mull over it. You don't want to rush in to anything that you aren't ready for.

Just remember that it is one step at a time. Focus on the here and now, not what may happen in the future.

I ended up giving the name to my psychologist by email...

I didn't want to spend the weekend thinking will I won't I... That upsets me more than giving them the name. Plus, I don't want it to be on my mind starting the job.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

I ended up giving the name to my psychologist by email...

I didn't want to spend the weekend thinking will I won't I... That upsets me more than giving them the name. Plus, I don't want it to be on my mind starting the job.

Try to enjoy your weekend and prepare yourself for the new job regardless of all this hassle.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

I ended up giving the name to my psychologist by email...

I didn't want to spend the weekend thinking will I won't I... That upsets me more than giving them the name. Plus, I don't want it to be on my mind starting the job.

Oh ok. I misunderstood. But at least you have made the decision. Now you are free to focus on the weekend and enjoy it before you start back in the working world. Are you looking forward to the job?

scrimshanker

Yeah I guess so! It's actually my old job back. So I should be able to swing back into it.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Yeah I guess so! It's actually my old job back. So I should be able to swing back into it.

You'll be well able for it so, Scrim!

heyday30

Hi guys. Hope ur all doing ok.

Been fighting with myself all week. Feeling very frustrated at feeling unwell all tthe time. very disheartening I feel like An aul crock.

Gonna try go with it for a few days. Stressing about feeling unwell is actually aggravating it I think.

Hugo Stiglitz

heyday30 wrote: »

Hi guys. Hope ur all doing ok.

Been fighting with myself all week. Feeling very frustrated at feeling unwell all tthe time. very disheartening I feel like An aul crock.

Gonna try go with it for a few days. Stressing about feeling unwell is actually aggravating it I think.

*hugs*

Sorry to hear that you're feeling like this, H.