Being discouraged from breastfeeding

FurBabyMomma

Honestly I would flip out at someone telling me not to breastfeed in public. I'd tell them to call the Guards on me and see how far they get!

lazygal

I've been breastfeeding for nearly two years now, with a couple of months break. From the start I fed in public and couldn't be bothered with draping covers or muslin cloths. I've never ever been told to stop or move. Once or twice extended family asked if I'd be happier feeding in private but I didn't move.

Isolt

I noticed in Insomnia last week that they have a sticker on their door that says ''Friends of Breastfeeding''. I think it's cool that they put that sticker up. Does anyone know of any other 'breastfeeding friendly' places?

mrsWhippy

Isolt wrote: »

I noticed in Insomnia last week that they have a sticker on their door that says ''Friends of Breastfeeding''. I think it's cool that they put that sticker up. Does anyone know of any other 'breastfeeding friendly' places?

Marks & Spencers Cafes are great I have to say. The one in the basement in Dundrum is great with loads of couches, cosy corners and room for buggies. The staff are great for helping you carry your coffee/tray if need be too!

Jerrica

Isolt wrote: »

I noticed in Insomnia last week that they have a sticker on their door that says ''Friends of Breastfeeding''. I think it's cool that they put that sticker up. Does anyone know of any other 'breastfeeding friendly' places?

The Friends of BReastfeeding page has a whole list! Just lick on the map for your relevant area.

http://www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie/wp/breastfeeding-friendly-initiative/breastfeeding-friendly-initiative-2/

Isolt

Jerrica wrote: »

The Friends of BReastfeeding page has a whole list! Just lick on the map for your relevant area.

http://www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie/wp/breastfeeding-friendly-initiative/breastfeeding-friendly-initiative-2/

Thank you That's exactly what I was looking for.

It seems Insomnia and Costa Coffee are all supportive of mother's breastfeeding in their cafes

mrsWhippy

Isolt wrote: »

Thank you That's exactly what I was looking for.

It seems Insomnia and Costa Coffee are all supportive of mother's breastfeeding in their cafes

Don't let that restrict you though - most places are going to be fine, and you shouldn't feel like you can only feed in the places on this list! You are entitled to feed anywhere you choose, so don't forget that

Jerrica

Isolt wrote: »

Thank you That's exactly what I was looking for.

It seems Insomnia and Costa Coffee are all supportive of mother's breastfeeding in their cafes

Certainly Costa are, that's where I meet some other Mums and Mums to be every few weeks and no eyelids are batted when there's breastfeeding going on. It's lovely for me as a ftm too to be around other breastfeeding mums out and about and feeding in public, it normalises it and takes away a lot of the worry.

I was in the cafe in the basement of Brown Thomas the other week and there was a Mum breastfeeding there and she seemed happy out and no-one bothered her. It was great to see tbh.

madeinamerica

Jerrica wrote: »

Certainly Costa are, that's where I meet some other Mums and Mums to be every few weeks and no eyelids are batted when there's breastfeeding going on. It's lovely for me as a ftm too to be around other breastfeeding mums out and about and feeding in public, it normalises it and takes away a lot of the worry.

I was in the cafe in the basement of Brown Thomas the other week and there was a Mum breastfeeding there and she seemed happy out and no-one bothered her. It was great to see tbh.

This is so important, IMO. To make it a normal thing that is so normal no one even registers it.

monflat

madeinamerica wrote: »

This is so important, IMO. To make it a normal thing that is so normal no one even registers it.

I dont think ive ever had a problem out and about. Its always been fine
There was the odd time in a baby changing room there was a cubicle where there was a chair supposodly for breastfeeding
However the smell from the nappy bin meant that ud be afraid to change the baby there let alone feed it !!!

madeinamerica

monflat wrote: »

I dont think ive ever had a problem out and about. Its always been fine
There was the odd time in a baby changing room there was a cubicle where there was a chair supposodly for breastfeeding
However the smell from the nappy bin meant that ud be afraid to change the baby there let alone feed it !!!

I'm so glad to hear you haven't had problems, it gives me great hope! I haven't breastfed at all yet, first baby due in Sept, so I've no personal experience. But I have witnessed a couple of uncomfortable occasions, like in my home town where a woman was (discreetly at the back of the cafe) breastfeeding her baby and there were stares, tuts and head shaking from a middle aged couple at another table. They were really obvious about it. I think she was just ignoring them but I'm sure she heard them. Even if someone doesn't ask me directly to stop, I think I'd find that kind of atmosphere intimidating and off putting, especially when I'm just starting out with it. I don't think it is at the stage yet where it is so normal that it goes unnoticed, unfortunately.

On a side point, I haven't seen any women breastfeeding where I live now, which is a concern

monflat

madeinamerica wrote: »

I'm so glad to hear you haven't had problems, it gives me great hope! I haven't breastfed at all yet, first baby due in Sept, so I've no personal experience. But I have witnessed a couple of uncomfortable occasions, like in my home town where a woman was (discreetly at the back of the cafe) breastfeeding her baby and there were stares, tuts and head shaking from a middle aged couple at another table. They were really obvious about it. I think she was just ignoring them but I'm sure she heard them. Even if someone doesn't ask me directly to stop, I think I'd find that kind of atmosphere intimidating and off putting, especially when I'm just starting out with it. I don't think it is at the stage yet where it is so normal that it goes unnoticed, unfortunately.

On a side point, I haven't seen any women breastfeeding where I live now, which is a concern

God i must say i have never ever encountered that when i out n about. Ive had d odd few stares but i dont mind that
People always look no matter what.
But most people are ok .
I fed my first out a lot more than my second mainly because its hard to get a 2 yr old to sit nwait while baby on boob.

But generally all my negative experiences were within family/ inlaws who know nothing about b f and offered me a room to go feed in .
The father in law once asked when am.i goin to give her some decent milk ? And i asked what do you mean ?
He says a bottle !
Its the comments like that that ruin ypur confidence when you are on your first trying so bloddy hard and u feel like killing someone when they say things like that.

But then again once you get confident with it youl have no problems.
However one piece of advice is dont go out n about too soon as it can get fiddly tryin to sort yourself and when baby wants boob they want it NOW not in 4 mins time when you sort out your clothes !!

Neyite

I breastfed for 11 months and had no shyness at feeding out and about. I cant say I was really looking to see people's reactions, but I never encountered any negative comments or looks.

I remember reading somewhere that a poster began to feed in a coffee shop and she saw a waitress coming towards her and was a bit apprehensive that she would be asked to leave or move, but the waitress just put a big glass of cold water in front of her, and smiled at her and just left her alone. You get so thirsty breastfeeding and I thought that was a lovely way of saying I support breastfeeding without drawing undue attention to the mum.

Sligo1

mrsWhippy wrote: »

Marks & Spencers Cafes are great I have to say. The one in the basement in Dundrum is great with loads of couches, cosy corners and room for buggies. The staff are great for helping you carry your coffee/tray if need be too!

I practically live in m&s dundrum cafe! It's the only time I actually get to eat! Lol. Great for bfing and so toddler friendly. I had to lash the boob out in argos yesterday while husband was returning something and both babies started screaming. No one batted an eyelid and the manager was lovely... Started chatting to me and all! Lol

kandr10

monflat wrote: »

God i must say i have never ever encountered that when i out n about. Ive had d odd few stares but i dont mind that
People always look no matter what.
But most people are ok .
I fed my first out a lot more than my second mainly because its hard to get a 2 yr old to sit nwait while baby on boob.

But generally all my negative experiences were within family/ inlaws who know nothing about b f and offered me a room to go feed in .
The father in law once asked when am.i goin to give her some decent milk ? And i asked what do you mean ?
He says a bottle !
Its the comments like that that ruin ypur confidence when you are on your first trying so bloddy hard and u feel like killing someone when they say things like that.

But then again once you get confident with it youl have no problems.
However one piece of advice is dont go out n about too soon as it can get fiddly tryin to sort yourself and when baby wants boob they want it NOW not in 4 mins time when you sort out your clothes !!

Lol reminds me of a time my daughter spat up an entire feed and my father in law stood staring at it in amazement that she took that much milk from me!

MillyD123

Hi everyone. I didn't read the full thread so apologies if this has been mentioned. But there is an amazing group of women on Facebook 'extended breastfeeding Ireland'. They are so knowledgeable and helpful and with their help I am still feeding my 17 month old after only planning in feeding for a few days I'd highly recommend them

madeinamerica

Really great to hear all the positive experiences here, ye are giving me confidence!

witchity2

I have always fed mine when i was out and about too and I dont think I ever was made to feel awkward. I think sometimes you might notice someone doing a double take cause they just realised what you are doing, probably just out of curiosity.

A great place if you have any near you are mornings in the cinema. I always brought baby 2 to the cinema (usually in the early kids shows) with my toddler, and the baby would have a feed and just sleep the whole way through. I think some places also do Mummy and Baby mornings where they show regular movies but its just for people with very small children.

Like someone else said, the more people who are encouraged to feed in public, the more normalised it will become for everyone. My kids dont bat an eyelid when they see a woman nursing, but my own nephews and nieces at the same ages, were basically shepherded out of the room in case they seen something when I was nursing !

wicklori

I'm feeding DS for 14 months now an never remotely got a funny look. Only at the weekend at the 'Battle of Aughrim' DS decided he wanted a quick sup and I was completely unaware whether any of the mostly older gentlemen around even noticed. Not for me the cover and blankets etc- I just move quick and I think no one is often any the wiser. I have been out and about a lot since he was born and as I say it has been completely uneventful. I do believe it's important to feed in public to help to normalise breastfeeding as we are still a bit in the dark ages on the subject Ireland.

Wafaa79

Isolt wrote: »

It's not what I've researched at all, but then, I've been reading all the articles from breastfeeding support groups. What I'd really love is feedback from mothers who've tried it and loved it.

Hey there,
I am speaking for my sister who would tell you herself if her English was better (we are French ).
She has 3 kids, now 14, 12 and 4. She fell to pressure and breastfeed the eldest one only 6 months. For the next 2, she decided to do her own thing and breastfed them for as long as needed. I believe she breastfed the last 2 for at least 2 years (which, incidentally, is the minimum amount of time recommended by the World Health Organisation).
She told me how she could tell the difference between the eldest and the two youngest. The two youngest were in much better health and has less of these childhood diseases than the first did. She really regretted having let herself being shamed into not breastfeeding longer because she now realises that she would have not only saved tons of money, but also helped her eldest to be stronger during infancy.
People who discouraged her all had the same argument “your kid is going to be stuck on you all the time”, “bottle is not going to hurt them”, etc.
This is rubbish. Her long breastfeeding didn’t create some kind of unhealthy relationship between her kids and her.
And I challenge anyone to prove that bottle is better than breast milk. W.H.O. recommends in that order: mother’s milk, another woman’s milk, bottle.
Of course, it requires more work to breastfeed, especially when you are back to work but she was really happy she put the effort in because it was really rewarding in the end.
Besides, you might be one of these lucky women whose breastfeeding is going to suck the pregnancy fat right out.
Bottom line, if it is something you want to do, no one should discourage you from it. It is a personal choice, so don’t let yourself be influenced by others. It’s your body and your child, so your decision.

wmpdd3

OP I'm trying to think of a TV family to compare my family to, but I can't even think of one! If they survived me B/F my kids any family would.

When they visited me in hospital they excused themselves when baby wanted to food. There were glued to crap adds when I was trying to get him to latch on.

But they came around and after a while, they took no notice.