Your most terrible date?

CrackisWhack

CarMe wrote: »

A few weeks ago.

We had been on a couple of dates and we went out to dun laoire one Sunday and walking along the pier he kept saying what an amazing time he was having and how well we clicked, when I was feeling the complete opposite!

I was people watching and guessing if people were married or on their first date etc but he didn't get that at ALL just kept saying saying things like "but who are we to judge" wtf?! Nobody was judging anyone I was just playing an innocent little observational game!

Anyway, I really wasn't feeling it anymore so I led us over to a quiet area and we sat down, I started explaining that I didn't really think that we clicked and he started crying and asking was I breaking up with him, I said no because we weren't together but you're a really lovely guy, it's just a matter of chemistry! He asked was I not attracted to him, was it because of where he's from, because I had met a friend for coffee the night before, because he was boring, because he was too nice, asking was there someone else etc, to which I explained No, you're lovely we just don't click. He asked what he was going to do, that every other girl is a weirdo and I said "but sure, I'm a weirdo" and he said "but you're MY weirdo!"

After about 45mins of being really really nice I getting a bit pissed off and said look it's not the end of the world, it's not the biggest deal then he started shouting "what the fcuk was all this bullsh!t?!" Taking out his phone and rifling through it for mildly flirty texts I had sent him before, reading them out loud with people walking by!! I stood up now and said right I'm going to get the dart home and he grabbed me really scarily and said he was driving me home. I said okay but you needn't start snapping at me, I've been as nice and honest as I can! On the way to the car park he shouted "I'M NEVER COMING TO DUN LAOIRE AGAIN!!!" and when he started the engine "The power of love" came on and he punched the radio and said "I can't listen to this!!"
Then on the drive home (why Oh why didn't I get the dart!) He started driving like a maniac and going up on the path asking is it because he didn't drive like a bad boy!

Single most awful experience of my dating life!!

LOL!!!!! That's hilarious

Jenneke87

It wasn't exactly a date, but a friend/acquintance of mine rang me on kingsday(a national holiday here) and asked if I wanted to meet. I had nothing better to do so I said yes, sure. He had a little more in mind than I did though. We went to the beach to this restaurant/cafe where we were the only two people because everyone was out partying in the city. I don't know the guy very well and he wasn't very talkative so the conversation was pretty much one way. After that, we went to another beach on the other side of town and ended up in a live music bar, which was so loud we couldn't even hear each other. He wanted to dance with me, but I have terrible stage fright and would never dare dance in front of a crowd, especially not when we are the only two people doing it. So we sat awkwardly in front of each other with me thinking of ways to keep the conversation going, and really wanting to go home.

At one point he said he wanted to go to my house because he wanted me to play the harp for him. Having an inkling of what he really wanted, I told him it was too late for that, having a neighbour living above me with a young kid. He then said we could have a "silent dance party"(whatever the fcuk that is) at my place and again told him no. We stood at the busstop when he said out of the blue:"We could sleep together" quite loudly and everyone was looking at us, forcing me to turn him down right there and then. The ride to the station was quite awkward, sitting next to each other with the whole conversation gone dead after I turned him down. He still wanted to come to my place though, so I deliberatly got off at the station where I told him I wasn't feeling well and that there was nothing to do at my place and wanted to call it a night. He finally took the hint and went home.

Jenneke87

Jenneke87 wrote: »

It wasn't exactly a date, but a friend/acquintance of mine rang me on kingsday(a national holiday here) and asked if I wanted to meet. I had nothing better to do so I said yes, sure. He had a little more in mind than I did though. We went to the beach to this restaurant/cafe where we were the only two people because everyone was out partying in the city. I don't know the guy very well and he wasn't very talkative so the conversation was pretty much one way. After that, we went to another beach on the other side of town and ended up in a live music bar, which was so loud we couldn't even hear each other. He wanted to dance with me, but I have terrible stage fright and would never dare dance in front of a crowd, especially not when we are the only two people doing it. So we sat awkwardly in front of each other with me thinking of ways to keep the conversation going, and really wanting to go home.

At one point he said he wanted to go to my house because he wanted me to play the harp for him. Having an inkling of what he really wanted, I told him it was too late for that, having a neighbour living above me with a young kid. He then said we could have a "silent dance party"(whatever the fcuk that is) at my place and again told him no. We stood at the busstop when he said out of the blue:"We could sleep together" quite loudly and everyone was looking at us, forcing me to turn him down right there and then. The ride to the station was quite awkward, sitting next to each other with the whole conversation gone dead after I turned him down. He still wanted to come to my place though, so I deliberatly got off at the station where I told him I wasn't feeling well and that there was nothing to do at my place and wanted to call it a night. He finally took the hint and went home.

The pertinent bit for me is the casual 'I play harp' ref in the middle. Well, colour me envious and also impressed!

I can guess what a silent dance party is, though he does sound like a dance partner to avoid, silent or not.:)

Millicent

Candie wrote: »

The pertinent bit for me is the casual 'I play harp' ref in the middle. Well, colour me envious and also impressed!

I can guess what a silent dance party is, though he does sound like a dance partner to avoid, silent or not.:)

It's the no-pants, horizontal dance. (Occasionally vertical, if you have the upper body strength. :pac:)

Jenneke87

Candie wrote: »

The pertinent bit for me is the casual 'I play harp' ref in the middle. Well, colour me envious and also impressed!

I can guess what a silent dance party is, though he does sound like a dance partner to avoid, silent or not.:)

Hehe, no need to be envious, I can play, but in my opinion, not very well. End of derailing thread :P

ted1

I'm enjoying reading these and knowing that none of the stories to date have not involved me
May u ask have these all being Irish guys or people of different cultures because known my friends etc I find it hard to believe people of the same culture are that clueless with regards dating etc

Jenneke87

Moi Dutch, disastrous date too.....

marie12

Went on a date with a guy i met online. We started talking about the site and i said how my friends and sis were on that site too, how's its so popular now etc. He had seen my sis on my facebook and couldn't believe she had to go on a site. 'why is she on it, but she's gorgeous!'
yes she is gorgeous! But i couldn't believe his lack of tact Grrr

anewme

The farting fireman story reminded me of mine.....

Its donkeys years ago now and was a second date. The plan was he was coming to my house for Sunday lunch and I was going to cook and after that we were going to the park to take photos as he had just gotten a brand new expensive camera.

Anyway, dinner was panfried salmon fillets with baby potatoes and home made apricot salsa and not being into deserts I bought a Vienetta. At the time we did not realise he had a bad reaction to ice cream (upset his stomach) he said he had an idea ice cream did not agree with him but did not want to say because I had bought it and he did not want to seem awkward so just ate it.

Had dinner, set off to the park, in the car, his stomach start growling like mad and he not knowing each other well, we just pretended it was not happening and turned up the radio.

Got to the park and he was sweating and looking uncomfortable. Took a few photos and I could tell he was not well, so I said, we could leave it if he wanted to. All of a sudden, he just hands me the camera and said mind this! and legged it like a sprinter over behind some bushes. I did not know where to look so I just stayed there. A load of japanese tourists came by (clicky clicky with their cameras) and then walked off hiking up behind the bushes and one of them let out a scream but they did not come back! He later told me they had seen him squatting behind the bushes and he did not know whether to put his face towards them or his backside. Imagine being caught with the trots behind a bush by a gang of japenese tourists with me holding his expensive camera and slowly getting more and more embarrassed. There was no loo roll or tissue so he probably had to wipe with a bit of a bush or some leaves!!!

About a half an hour later he came back, still roaring red in the face with beads of sweat on his forehead. He said he had to go back to his for a shower as his stomach was ill and drove with the windows open (probaby to keep the smell away)

All of a sudden I just could not hold it in any longer and just burst out laughing. I turned to him and just said, does a bear Shi* in the Woods?

We both then laughed till we cried. We pulled the car over and laughed uncontrollably.

It wasnt a total disaster as we ended up staying together for about 4 years but it still is the cringiest thing that ever happened. Bar NONE!

Lou.m

CarMe wrote: »

A few weeks ago.

We had been on a couple of dates and we went out to dun laoire one Sunday and walking along the pier he kept saying what an amazing time he was having and how well we clicked, when I was feeling the complete opposite!

I was people watching and guessing if people were married or on their first date etc but he didn't get that at ALL just kept saying saying things like "but who are we to judge" wtf?! Nobody was judging anyone I was just playing an innocent little observational game!

Anyway, I really wasn't feeling it anymore so I led us over to a quiet area and we sat down, I started explaining that I didn't really think that we clicked and he started crying and asking was I breaking up with him, I said no because we weren't together but you're a really lovely guy, it's just a matter of chemistry! He asked was I not attracted to him, was it because of where he's from, because I had met a friend for coffee the night before, because he was boring, because he was too nice, asking was there someone else etc, to which I explained No, you're lovely we just don't click. He asked what he was going to do, that every other girl is a weirdo and I said "but sure, I'm a weirdo" and he said "but you're MY weirdo!"

After about 45mins of being really really nice I getting a bit pissed off and said look it's not the end of the world, it's not the biggest deal then he started shouting "what the fcuk was all this bullsh!t?!" Taking out his phone and rifling through it for mildly flirty texts I had sent him before, reading them out loud with people walking by!! I stood up now and said right I'm going to get the dart home and he grabbed me really scarily and said he was driving me home. I said okay but you needn't start snapping at me, I've been as nice and honest as I can! On the way to the car park he shouted "I'M NEVER COMING TO DUN LAOIRE AGAIN!!!" and when he started the engine "The power of love" came on and he punched the radio and said "I can't listen to this!!"
Then on the drive home (why Oh why didn't I get the dart!) He started driving like a maniac and going up on the path asking is it because he didn't drive like a bad boy!

Single most awful experience of my dating life!!

That is insane.

cazzer22

Got chatting to a guy on Tinder, he seemed lovely, similar age, similar interests etc. We decided to meet up in town and then head for a drink afterwards.

We met outside Stephen's Green and he waltzed in what can only be described as a jacket that resembled your man off 'I know what you did last Summer'- fisherman, army green kinda jacket and he was also sweating a crazy amount. I knew he must've been nervous, as was I. So we headed for a pub in Dublin city (he chose it) and they were playing real Irish Celtic music the entire time (not really my scene). We got a few drinks and were chatting (got on really well, ZERO chemistry) and out of nowhere, he whips out this harmonica and starts playing trad tunes on it, completely out of the blue. I was a little mortified. Lovely guy but could tell straight away it was going nowhere.

vitani

There was the time my friends set me up on a date with this guy, but something got lost in translation and I didn't realise it was a date I was going on as it was part of a larger party. I ended up getting off with someone else that night, not realising that my 'date' was really upset and angry over this, and calling me names to all and sundry.

McChubbin

Two weeks ago I met a guy off OKC after spending the bulk of about 3 months exchanging flirty chatter through IMS and Facebook. So far, so good. I was looking forward to meeting him but a bit apprehensive as he has some of the same physical traits as my ex- example: long hair, goatee and a penchant for heavy metal band t-shirts.
Still, I gave him the benefit of a doubt and went along to the date. I spotted him outside a certain coffee shop (won't name in case he's on here) and my heart sunk. I know this sounds incredibly shallow and hypocritical of me considering I'm not exactly Kate Moss myself but I was put off by the fact that this guy had a bigger pair of boobs than myself. His profile pictures only showed him from the neck up and gave no indication of his large physique. There was also an absence of full length FB pictures so I only knew his face to look at.
Even so, I told myself not to get hung up on physical appearences- I was attracted to his personality after all- so I sat down and grabbed a coffee with him.
It was so awkward- we ran out of things to say after an hour and we were just sitting there, sipping on our coffees and twiddling our thumbs.
He seemed nice enough but there was absolutely no spark whatsoever- the witty banter we shared over IM did not translate into real life at all and I was desperate to get out of the situation as the awkwardness was unbareable.
I eventually made my excuses and said goodbye before getting the bus down to my aunt's house.
They dismissed my post-date analysis and told me to "keep him as a friend". Admittedly, I don't have many friends but I feel completely shanghaied into meeting up with this man.
This past Friday we had a second date in a sushi restaurant and again, there were too many uncomfortable silences and awkward pauses.
I do not want to see him again but my family are putting a lot of pressure on me to give him a chance and keep up with a friendship at the very least.
I'm torn. I feel horrible for judging him on his physicalities but if there's no spark, what's the point?
He really likes me and I worry I might lead him up the garden path if I continue to see him against my better judgement. I've been in a situation where I was in love with a man who had no feelings for me and it was utterly hellish so I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I only wish my family wasn't so pushy about me meeting up with him as I feel everything is so forced.

Lux23

Why are your family so insistent that you keep meeting up with him?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

McChubbin wrote: »

Two weeks ago I met a guy off OKC after spending the bulk of about 3 months exchanging flirty chatter through IMS and Facebook. So far, so good. I was looking forward to meeting him but a bit apprehensive as he has some of the same physical traits as my ex- example: long hair, goatee and a penchant for heavy metal band t-shirts.
Still, I gave him the benefit of a doubt and went along to the date. I spotted him outside a certain coffee shop (won't name in case he's on here) and my heart sunk. I know this sounds incredibly shallow and hypocritical of me considering I'm not exactly Kate Moss myself but I was put off by the fact that this guy had a bigger pair of boobs than myself. His profile pictures only showed him from the neck up and gave no indication of his large physique. There was also an absence of full length FB pictures so I only knew his face to look at.
Even so, I told myself not to get hung up on physical appearences- I was attracted to his personality after all- so I sat down and grabbed a coffee with him.
It was so awkward- we ran out of things to say after an hour and we were just sitting there, sipping on our coffees and twiddling our thumbs.
He seemed nice enough but there was absolutely no spark whatsoever- the witty banter we shared over IM did not translate into real life at all and I was desperate to get out of the situation as the awkwardness was unbareable.
I eventually made my excuses and said goodbye before getting the bus down to my aunt's house.
They dismissed my post-date analysis and told me to "keep him as a friend". Admittedly, I don't have many friends but I feel completely shanghaied into meeting up with this man.
This past Friday we had a second date in a sushi restaurant and again, there were too many uncomfortable silences and awkward pauses.
I do not want to see him again but my family are putting a lot of pressure on me to give him a chance and keep up with a friendship at the very least.
I'm torn. I feel horrible for judging him on his physicalities but if there's no spark, what's the point?
He really likes me and I worry I might lead him up the garden path if I continue to see him against my better judgement. I've been in a situation where I was in love with a man who had no feelings for me and it was utterly hellish so I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I only wish my family wasn't so pushy about me meeting up with him as I feel everything is so forced.

Tell them to feck off, what's it got to do with them?! Why are they so bothered anyway, it's not like they know him. You're not attracted to him, end of.

McChubbin

Lux23 wrote: »

Why are your family so insistent that you keep meeting up with him?

I have very little in the way of IRL friends so they keep insisting that I "friendzone" him (they haven't actually said that but it was heavily implied) so I'll have someone to go to the cinema with. FFS... I know I get lonely sometime but I'm not so desperate for companionship! :mad:

Dial Hard

McChubbin wrote: »

Two weeks ago I met a guy off OKC after spending the bulk of about 3 months exchanging flirty chatter through IMS and Facebook. So far, so good. I was looking forward to meeting him but a bit apprehensive as he has some of the same physical traits as my ex- example: long hair, goatee and a penchant for heavy metal band t-shirts.
Still, I gave him the benefit of a doubt and went along to the date. I spotted him outside a certain coffee shop (won't name in case he's on here) and my heart sunk. I know this sounds incredibly shallow and hypocritical of me considering I'm not exactly Kate Moss myself but I was put off by the fact that this guy had a bigger pair of boobs than myself. His profile pictures only showed him from the neck up and gave no indication of his large physique. There was also an absence of full length FB pictures so I only knew his face to look at.
Even so, I told myself not to get hung up on physical appearences- I was attracted to his personality after all- so I sat down and grabbed a coffee with him.
It was so awkward- we ran out of things to say after an hour and we were just sitting there, sipping on our coffees and twiddling our thumbs.
He seemed nice enough but there was absolutely no spark whatsoever- the witty banter we shared over IM did not translate into real life at all and I was desperate to get out of the situation as the awkwardness was unbareable.
I eventually made my excuses and said goodbye before getting the bus down to my aunt's house.
They dismissed my post-date analysis and told me to "keep him as a friend". Admittedly, I don't have many friends but I feel completely shanghaied into meeting up with this man.
This past Friday we had a second date in a sushi restaurant and again, there were too many uncomfortable silences and awkward pauses.
I do not want to see him again but my family are putting a lot of pressure on me to give him a chance and keep up with a friendship at the very least.
I'm torn. I feel horrible for judging him on his physicalities but if there's no spark, what's the point?
He really likes me and I worry I might lead him up the garden path if I continue to see him against my better judgement. I've been in a situation where I was in love with a man who had no feelings for me and it was utterly hellish so I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I only wish my family wasn't so pushy about me meeting up with him as I feel everything is so forced.

And this is why it's a really bad idea to spend too long chatting to someone before you meet them - you get way too invested in the idea of them and the reality almost never lives up to the idea of them that you've built up in your head.

You can get on with someone like a house on fire online, but meeting in real life is, ultimately, the only way you'll ever know if you're attracted to them in the flesh, which is the bottom line, really.

For me, personally, two weeks is the max I'd wait before meeting someone that I liked. Too much potential for time wasted if you invest any longer than that and then discover you're not even remotely attracted to them.

kylith

McChubbin wrote: »

I have very little in the way of IRL friends so they keep insisting that I "friendzone" him (they haven't actually said that but it was heavily implied) so I'll have someone to go to the cinema with. FFS... I know I get lonely sometime but I'm not so desperate for companionship! :mad:

My mum is the same, regardless of male or female - "Sure just keep them to go to the cinema with. It's ok to use people a bit". Thanks mam, but I think I'd rather sit at home alone than hang out with people I don't really like.

cactuspaw

in retrospect this was not a good thread to read before your first date with a man.

Paddy Cow

Back when I was young, about 19/20, I was getting the bus to Galway and a lad about the same age as me sat in the seat beside me. We got chatting and got on really well. We chatted the whole way and when we got to Galway, we decided to spend some time together. It was one of those situations where we hadn't planned on having a date but we got on so well that it ended up being like a date. We didn't have a lot of money, so we'd have a coke outside a bar and later on we got a nagon. We chatted about what we were doing in Galway, our jobs and plans for the future. Things were going well and we had a little bit of a snog. I couldn't believe my luck!

Then he got a phone call and it was obvious from hearing his end of the conversation that he was talking to his girlfriend. When he got off the phone I asked him if it was his girlfriend and he said it was. I asked him why was he messing around with me if he had a girlfriend and his reply was that "we are only having a bit of fun and she doesn't need to know". Needless to say I dropped him like a hot potato and went on my merry single way!

Paddy Cow

McChubbin wrote: »

I do not want to see him again but my family are putting a lot of pressure on me to give him a chance and keep up with a friendship at the very least.

.......

I only wish my family wasn't so pushy about me meeting up with him as I feel everything is so forced.

No offense but your family are being incredibly selfish here. They are not treating this guy like a person with real feelings and think that somehow it will work out if you keep him around as a friend, without thinking about how he will feel in all this. He is not a puppy to keep you amused when you are feeling lonely. I think you did the best thing by breaking off contact.

Your family need to cop on. They should be encouraging you to have relationships (whether romantic or platonic) with people who you find interesting and not any old person who will keep you company. I'm sure your family are lovely people and are acting from the misguided belief that any friend is better than no friend but ultimately the idea that you have to settle for anything you get will only harm your self esteem.

Kav0777

cactuspaw wrote: »

in retrospect this was not a good thread to read before your first date with a man.

So how did it go? Warrant a mention in this thread?

cactuspaw

ah, twasnt the worst date ive ever had, but sadly, i dont think there will be anymore after that one...