Most disappointing toys from your childhood

pickarooney

I got a boomerang (ostensibly for my kids) a couple of months back and it comes back. First time ever and it took a fair bit of practice and no small amount of physical effort. I don't think kids are really able to use the properly.

Das Kitty

My Tiny Tears never cried, she just pissed herself.

pickarooney

Das Kitty wrote: »

My Tiny Tears never cried, she just pissed herself.

Probably because you gave her White Lightning instead of Bulmers.

nelly17

Rampant Rabbit, fecker didnt even hop

Fr_Dougal

Buckaroo, what a useless piece of plastic rubbish.

GerB40

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Combat Johnny ( sounds like some sort of VD )
It was the poor mans Action Man..............absolute sh1t, but cheap.

Combat Johnny? Sounds like a camouflaged condom..

Temptamperu

I wanted mask figures and cars... lame ass fall apart pieces of shizzle.

DEFTLEFTHAND

A tamagotchie, got tired of that real quick. Furbies were a bit better because they were cute and it was funny to punch them.

Irish Guitarist

I loved Transformers but the toys were never the right scale. For instance in the cartoon Astrotrain was a triple changer who transformed into a train and a space shuttle. When he transformed into a shuttle all the other Decepticons could fit inside and fly into space. However when you got the toy you ended up with a train and a shuttle that were smaller than an Autobot like Hot Rod who transformed into a car. Even in robot mode he was tiny and crappy looking, whereas in the cartoon he looked evil and intimidating.

Maphisto

Das Kitty wrote: »

My Tiny Tears never cried, she just pissed herself.

So was it anatomically accurate - just always had that interest in dolls (though less these days)?

anncoates

Das Kitty wrote: »

My Tiny Tears never cried, she just pissed herself.

You were just holding her upside down.

monkeysnapper

I always wanted a Star Wars speeder , I never watched the films but a lad in school had one and it could fall apart and you could re build it.

Sorry I seen thread title properly now . O well

Maphisto

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I always wanted a Star Wars speeder , I never watched the films but a lad in school had one and it could fall apart and you could re build it.

Sorry I seen thread title properly now . O well

That's probably another thread but in a similar vein. I visited cousins one year as a kid and they had this warship, it was huge took up half the wall of their bedroom, it's guns fired real plastic shells(that hurt when they hit you), it made sounds it was fantstic - we are talking nearly 50 years ago - I've always wanted one but know if I saw it again, I would think it $hit.

cactuspaw

This yoke...




It smelt weird and ruined my clothes.쳍

dan1895

I never expected the turtle blimp to actually fly but I was disappointed it didn't float at least.

B Rabbit

I could never get my yoyo to work

jimmy180sx

Mr.Frosty slushy maker...what a load of ****e

shamrock55

I got the star wars AT-AT when i was ickle but it was nowhere near as good as i thought it would be, i thought it could walk for one thing:rolleyes: also i always wanted mousetrap but never got it, so this xmas i got it for one of the kids, my god what a dissapointment, we set it up once and half it didnt even work, itsback in the box now where it will stay, cos it takes about 4 yrs to set up anyway:D

Stavros Murphy

My old lad bought me an electric fencer as a gift. Not much craic tbh. When I got bored with it, he took it off and connected it up to a fence. I'm still suspicious that he had a cunning plan on that one..

MS.ing

eisenberg1 wrote: »

Boomerangs that didn't come back, basically a stick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EydHZQDWoDU

Johnnythefox4

A toy Batman that came with a parachute. Absolute piece of crap. In the ad he really floated, but not for me he didn't. I spent ages out in the garden throwing him up into the air only for him to come down quicker then he went up. Threw him off the roof and everything to get him to float. The dog eventually ran off with him, and I couldn't be arsed chasing him.

MS.ing

Temptamperu wrote: »

I wanted mask figures and cars... lame ass fall apart pieces of shizzle.

they were awesommeness personified, take that back you clearly clumbsy dextrous as a fish on a bicycle woman on shoulder carrying caveman

Rosy Posy

As a kid I lusted after a Mr Frosty- ice crushing yoke for making slush puppies. Finally got one in my early 20's for my student gaf with dreams of making frozen cocktails and the bloody thing is manually operated with a crank handle that's ridiculously hard to turn. It was a Herculean task for an adult to produce a martini glass sized amount of ice, no way a kid could operate it. I'd say there were a lot of disappointed kids who got that one.

SparkySpitfire

Dónal wrote: »

I never got one but I always wanted a Mr. Frosty. Was it as disappointing as I now expect it was?

cloud493 wrote: »

Candyfloss machine. Never did get it working.

Those food making toys were the worst things EVER. I had Mr Frosty, candy floss maker AND an easy bake oven.

Mr Frosty as aforementioned was a little Bstard that was much more effort than he was worth. Same thing with all those toys. My oven just became a play thing for when I had a wendy house and was "cooking the dinner" despite the fact it actually worked. And don't get me started on the candy floss maker. 8 hours charging for 10 minutes of making a cotton ball sized portion of ****ty white candy floss. Disappointed.

Das Kitty wrote: »

My Tiny Tears never cried, she just pissed herself.

I had a Baby Born that you fed "formula" to and she was meant to wee into her nappy. My baby born was just constipated and smelled funny.

MS.ing

so many with so little imagination in this thread, sort of feel sorry for them with their 'childhoods'

the sort from that vauxhaul ad with kids acting like adults, called jeremy/bernard/dorris

Vincent Vega

Temptamperu wrote: »

I wanted mask figures and cars... lame ass fall apart pieces of shizzle.

I had the Snake Oil Tanker.
I thought it was pretty cool. You could do some proper damage with the weight of the rockets from that cannon.

BetterThanThou

Two things spring to mind. When I was younger I had a remote controlled robot. I had always imagined it would be my robot pal, it ended up being pretty much a slow remote control car with a robot casing. I also got an RC plane, one of those ones that you need to throw for them to fly. It never got much air time, and the remote barely effected the flight at all.

beauty101

A rubix cube...still trying to figure it out nearly 20 yrs later!

Sky King

A rubix cube...still trying to figure it out nearly 20 yrs later!

You just twist the sizes of it to move the squares around.

You're welcome.

pickarooney wrote: »

Meccano is bollocks. Even when you do manage to get the screws to stay tight enough everything you build just looks like a crane.

Agreed... also... spending your free time painstakingly following some stupid fking engineering drawing??? That's what real life is for!!

_Whimsical_

jimmy180sx wrote: »

Mr.Frosty slushy maker...what a load of ****e

I remember this one and the painful disappointment.
The flavour mixes they gave in the box were horrible and useless. A spoon of sugar over a poor crushed cup of ice would have been nicer.
Don't think it ever saw Steven's day... or any other day after Christmas day in my house.