advice for man whose wife took everything?

stpaddy99

18 years of marriage he arrives hom to his wife and 2 kids (girl now 17 son 14)

the wife has just had a new kitchen and new car mostly on the hire purchase
he arrives home she says its over and she wants him out

a week later she changes the locks and he cant get in

next she takes legal advice and sends him a letter stating he cant see the kids

he cant afford to fight it

so hes now got £680 a month bills paying for her mrotgage, her new car, her new kitchen, he has no home either and his health has deteriorated

he tried to get a council house but hasn't got enough points, hes managed to beg a landowner in his village to let him sleep in an empty property for a few weeks/months

he has to pay all these bills until his son is 18 and has been barred from seeing his kids for 12 months

he works 2 jobs , but the stress and upset has caused him to lose weight and crashed a car in his second job as a delivery driver

he survived that
ive known him about 10 years and hes salt of the earth hard working honest straight forward harmless
his only fault is hes a bit naïve

hes in despair really, heartbroken, especially as the kids have been poisoned against him too...his wife is one of 5 kids so she has support, but hes an only child so has no support
they still live within a few miles so he has to face seeing them from afar every day without being allowed to be with his kids at all and yet still paying all the bills?
he has a clean CRB has never ever been to jail , no crimes at all...nothing


any advice for the bloke? and are there many more men out there in similar situations?

The One Who Knocks

Two wifis maybe?

dockleaf

You're the naive one if you think someone can be barred from seeing their children for 12 months for no reason.

shopaholic01

I don't think she can legally change the locks, they're married so it's a joint property. He should call into citizens advice and also register for free legal aid.

Or kill her. That'll be more immediate.

Banjo String

any advice for the bloke?

Yep. Tell him to go see a lawyer. He has rights too. His ex wife sounds like a right Cnut btw.

Tokyo

If nothing has been decided and his missus is just pulling arbitrary numbers out of her arse, then he needs to stop paying for anything, and put the money towards getting legal advice ASAP

HotHHead

Is this in Ireland, as your quoting £ in your post... wife isnt legally allowed change the locks on the house, if he is paying the hire purchase loan take the car keep it for himself, or sell it and pay loan off...

Court doesn't have to cost him anything he can represent himself.

She also just can't decide he can't see the kids, as they were married he is an automatic guardian and joint custodian of his children.

TheMilkyPirate

Bull**** like this puts me off getting married, Terible situation to be in

MonkeyTennis

Citizens advice beaureau and Legal Aid

http://www.legalaidboard.ie/

Sand

£680? Where is this supposed to be happening? And if he is paying for the car on hire purchase, then legally it is his car - it is in his name right? Has all this happened as a result of a court decision or is it just something he decided to do? There seems to be an awful lot left unsaid.

As for the rest of it - without knowing what caused the breakup (I doubt it really was a bolt from the blue) and not really having a huge interest in finding out, Id say the best thing he can do is try to move on as best he can whilst making it clear he would welcome contact from his kids. When it gets to that stage - its done.

My name is URL

Marriage.. not even once

swanronson

Get to a solicitors straight away and start legal proceedings, she can't lock him out of his own home or bar him from seeing his kids

Mr. Incognito

I for one don't believe you

131spanner

Now I ain't saying she a Gold Digger...

Birroc

Simple solution, stop paying...that'll bring people to the table.

Same as in a mortgage problem...don't beg the bank for help, just stop payments and let them come to you, and then ignore them until they ease off the nasty stuff.

Gone Drinking

Tell him to stop sharing bs stories from facebook.

Boombastic

get in to house, live there, move his new girlfriend in to live there too

if she wants to leave, she can.

emeldc

I'm not sure I believe any of it but if it is true tell him to grow a pair and deal with it. And how do you poison the mind of a seventeen year old FFS, he old enough to make up his own mind if he wants to see his father.

Zed Bank

This should probably be moved to personal issues by a mod.

Its been scientifically proven that no ah'ers have an IQ over 100, you'd probably get better advice over there.

dockleaf

Zed Bank wrote: »

This should probably be moved to personal issues by a mod.

Its been scientifically proven that no ah'ers have an IQ over 100, you'd probably get better advice over there.

Hey! I resemble that remark!:mad::p

Zed Bank

dockleaf wrote: »

Hey! I resemble that remark!:mad::p

Shur so do I! The sooner we can get back to talking about sexy grinds teachers and the like, the better

JustAddWater

The irony!

drunkmonkey

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

Bull**** like this puts me off getting married, Terible situation to be in

Half of something is better than all of nothing!

If your worried about them talking your half quitely build up a collection of Krugerrands and keep them somewhere only you know.

Stavros Murphy

OP, has your "friend" considered hitting the gym big style, growing a large, sophisticated moustache, purchasing some sharp outfits and then cracking onto the "ex", inveigling themselves into her affections, then, when she's hooked, send her out for some smokes and change the locks while she's gone. The joke'll be on her then.

jjpep

Perhaps he could recount his experiences over a drum loop. Then at least he could have a career in hip hop.

He might seem harmless to you, but lots of apparently harmless people rule a reign of terror behind closed doors.

I know one person who managed to convince every last one of his friends that his ex was a bitter lying bitch out to ruin his reputation.

I didn't believe him, because I saw the bruises and the x-ray of the broken rib.

Femme_Fatale

OP, putting aside your posting history (e.g. women v men type threads, poor Charles Saatchi) tell him to contact Amen and tell him what people are saying here - how is it that he is so convinced he has that few rights? I know things can be sh1t for men when it comes to family breakdown, but jeez... talk about throwing in the towel.

emeldc

Candie wrote: »

He might seem harmless to you, but lots of apparently harmless people rule a reign of terror behind closed doors.

I know one person who managed to convince every last one of his friends that his ex was a bitter lying bitch out to ruin his reputation.

I didn't believe him, because I saw the bruises and the x-ray of the broken rib.

Was she beating him up as well :eek:

Gatling

What made him think he's instantly entitled to a council house

emeldc

emeldc wrote: »

Was she beating him up as well :eek:

I doubt it, but you never know. The point is things aren't always as they seem.

Seems the thread is a wind up anyway.

Femme_Fatale

Gatling wrote: »

What made him think he's instantly entitled to a council house

Not sure there was anything said about him thinking he's "instantly entitled" to one, he just enquired. Nothing wrong with that, seeing as he's struggling financially.

Gatling

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Not sure there was anything said about him being thinking he's "instantly entitled" to one, he just enquired. Nothing wrong with that, seeing as he's struggling financially.

The post said he tried to get a council house but hadn't got enough points ,
Which it adds to the whole bogus story

Femme_Fatale

Gatling wrote: »

The post said he tried to get a council house but hadn't got enough points

Doesn't that just mean he enquired as to whether he'd be eligible for local authority housing and was told he wasn't eligible?

Gatling

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Doesn't that just mean he enquired as to whether he'd be eligible for local authority housing and was told he wasn't eligible?

Its a bogus story and as long as his name is on the house he's not entitled to council housing ,

Never mind the 12 month ban on seeing his kids without a court date

shopaholic01

Gatling wrote: »

The post said he tried to get a council house but hadn't got enough points ,
Which it adds to the whole bogus story

I think he's mixing this up with his CAO application.

NormalBob Ubiquitypants

Talk to Joe Monday through Friday 1850 715 815 or email joe@rte.ie

Gatling

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I think he's mixing this up with his CAO application.

Someone been mixing there prescriptions

Stavros Murphy

NormalBob Ubiquitypants wrote: »

Talk to Joe Monday through Friday 1850 715 815 or email joe@rte.ie

Don't be encouraging them.

ScumLord

Tell him to pick up a guitar and write a song about it.

Jonny Blaze

My advice... Marry a richer woman!

deere_john

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

Bull**** like this puts me off getting married, Terible situation to be in

any man who is remotley assett rich would be crazy to get married in 2014 without hammering out a pre nup

im never getting married , havent told my girlfriend yet

beano345

Advice?....don't get married again!

shopaholic01

deere_john wrote: »

any man who is remotley assett rich would be crazy to get married in 2014 without hammering out a pre nup

im never getting married , havent told my girlfriend yet

Pre nups aren't available in Ireland, make sure you don't cohabit either.

Jonny Blaze

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Pre nups aren't available in Ireland, make sure you don't cohabit either.

Really? That's crazy though.. Couldn't you just draw up a contract?

deere_john

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Pre nups aren't available in Ireland, make sure you don't cohabit either.

" pre nups are not available in ireland " :eek:

does she have rights from cohabiting ?

Femme_Fatale

Marriage confers next of kin rights and fathers' rights though.

py2006

Regardless of the possibility of the post being a fabrication, this is a reality for a lot of men.

Menas

The original post sounds like a country and western song.
Assuming you are not trolling the best advice is to grow a pair and fight for what is yours and what are your rights.
Fck me, she will be having you around to clean the windows if you don't.

dj jarvis

deere_john wrote: »

" pre nups are not available in ireland " :eek:

does she have rights from cohabiting ?

oh yea baby

lock the doors and hide behind the couch - them harlots are coming to get ya !!!

Wabbit Ears

He could just as easily break into his own house and change the locks again, nothing she could do about it. He could just not pay for the car and stop paying the mortgage and so on. Without a legal seperation he doesnt even have to provide for the kids.

If this story is true ( which its not ) the guy's an idiot and pretty much deserves everything hes getting.

Stavros Murphy

Candie wrote: »

He might seem harmless to you, but lots of apparently harmless people rule a reign of terror behind closed doors.

I know one person who managed to convince every last one of his friends that his ex was a bitter lying bitch out to ruin his reputation.

I didn't believe him, because I saw the bruises and the x-ray of the broken rib.

That's very true, yer man Kim Jong Un is always all smiles, buying rounds and cracking jokes with Denis Rodman, but as soon as the doors shut, he's a right cnut. My mate Alan said he's a proper street angel, house devil.