advice for man whose wife took everything?

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 07:37PM #1

18 years of marriage he arrives hom to his wife and 2 kids (girl now 17 son 14)

the wife has just had a new kitchen and new car mostly on the hire purchase
he arrives home she says its over and she wants him out

a week later she changes the locks and he cant get in

next she takes legal advice and sends him a letter stating he cant see the kids

he cant afford to fight it

so hes now got £680 a month bills paying for her mrotgage, her new car, her new kitchen, he has no home either and his health has deteriorated

he tried to get a council house but hasn't got enough points, hes managed to beg a landowner in his village to let him sleep in an empty property for a few weeks/months

he has to pay all these bills until his son is 18 and has been barred from seeing his kids for 12 months

he works 2 jobs , but the stress and upset has caused him to lose weight and crashed a car in his second job as a delivery driver

he survived that
ive known him about 10 years and hes salt of the earth hard working honest straight forward harmless
his only fault is hes a bit naïve

hes in despair really, heartbroken, especially as the kids have been poisoned against him too...his wife is one of 5 kids so she has support, but hes an only child so has no support
they still live within a few miles so he has to face seeing them from afar every day without being allowed to be with his kids at all and yet still paying all the bills?
he has a clean CRB has never ever been to jail , no crimes at all...nothing

any advice for the bloke? and are there many more men out there in similar situations?

dockleaf · 10-04-2014 07:39PM

You're the naive one if you think someone can be barred from seeing their children for 12 months for no reason.

The One Who Knocks · 10-04-2014 07:39PM

Two wifis maybe?

shopaholic01 · 10-04-2014 07:39PM

I don't think she can legally change the locks, they're married so it's a joint property. He should call into citizens advice and also register for free legal aid.

Or kill her. That'll be more immediate.

Banjo String · 10-04-2014 07:41PM

any advice for the bloke?

Yep. Tell him to go see a lawyer. He has rights too. His ex wife sounds like a right Cnut btw.

Tokyo · 10-04-2014 07:41PM

If nothing has been decided and his missus is just pulling arbitrary numbers out of her arse, then he needs to stop paying for anything, and put the money towards getting legal advice ASAP

HotHHead · 10-04-2014 07:42PM

Is this in Ireland, as your quoting £ in your post... wife isnt legally allowed change the locks on the house, if he is paying the hire purchase loan take the car keep it for himself, or sell it and pay loan off...

Court doesn't have to cost him anything he can represent himself.

She also just can't decide he can't see the kids, as they were married he is an automatic guardian and joint custodian of his children.

TheMilkyPirate · 10-04-2014 07:45PM

Bull**** like this puts me off getting married, Terible situation to be in

MonkeyTennis · 10-04-2014 07:45PM

Citizens advice beaureau and Legal Aid

http://www.legalaidboard.ie/

Sand · 10-04-2014 07:46PM

£680? Where is this supposed to be happening? And if he is paying for the car on hire purchase, then legally it is his car - it is in his name right? Has all this happened as a result of a court decision or is it just something he decided to do? There seems to be an awful lot left unsaid.

As for the rest of it - without knowing what caused the breakup (I doubt it really was a bolt from the blue) and not really having a huge interest in finding out, Id say the best thing he can do is try to move on as best he can whilst making it clear he would welcome contact from his kids. When it gets to that stage - its done.

My name is URL · 10-04-2014 07:46PM

Marriage.. not even once

swanronson · 10-04-2014 07:49PM

Get to a solicitors straight away and start legal proceedings, she can't lock him out of his own home or bar him from seeing his kids

Mr. Incognito · 10-04-2014 07:49PM

I for one don't believe you

131spanner · 10-04-2014 07:50PM

Now I ain't saying she a Gold Digger...

Birroc · 10-04-2014 07:52PM

Simple solution, stop paying...that'll bring people to the table.

Same as in a mortgage problem...don't beg the bank for help, just stop payments and let them come to you, and then ignore them until they ease off the nasty stuff.

Gone Drinking · 10-04-2014 07:54PM

Tell him to stop sharing bs stories from facebook.

Boombastic · 10-04-2014 07:55PM

get in to house, live there, move his new girlfriend in to live there too

if she wants to leave, she can.

emeldc · 10-04-2014 07:58PM

I'm not sure I believe any of it but if it is true tell him to grow a pair and deal with it. And how do you poison the mind of a seventeen year old FFS, he old enough to make up his own mind if he wants to see his father.

Zed Bank · 10-04-2014 08:06PM

This should probably be moved to personal issues by a mod.

Its been scientifically proven that no ah'ers have an IQ over 100, you'd probably get better advice over there.

dockleaf · 10-04-2014 08:14PM

Zed Bank wrote: »

This should probably be moved to personal issues by a mod.

Its been scientifically proven that no ah'ers have an IQ over 100, you'd probably get better advice over there.

Hey! I resemble that remark!:mad::p

Zed Bank · 10-04-2014 08:20PM

dockleaf wrote: »

Hey! I resemble that remark!:mad::p

Shur so do I! The sooner we can get back to talking about sexy grinds teachers and the like, the better

JustAddWater · 10-04-2014 08:20PM

The irony!

drunkmonkey · 10-04-2014 08:22PM

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

Bull**** like this puts me off getting married, Terible situation to be in

Half of something is better than all of nothing!

If your worried about them talking your half quitely build up a collection of Krugerrands and keep them somewhere only you know.

Stavros Murphy · 10-04-2014 08:23PM

OP, has your "friend" considered hitting the gym big style, growing a large, sophisticated moustache, purchasing some sharp outfits and then cracking onto the "ex", inveigling themselves into her affections, then, when she's hooked, send her out for some smokes and change the locks while she's gone. The joke'll be on her then.

jjpep · 10-04-2014 08:24PM

Perhaps he could recount his experiences over a drum loop. Then at least he could have a career in hip hop.

10-04-2014 08:27PM

He might seem harmless to you, but lots of apparently harmless people rule a reign of terror behind closed doors.

I know one person who managed to convince every last one of his friends that his ex was a bitter lying bitch out to ruin his reputation.

I didn't believe him, because I saw the bruises and the x-ray of the broken rib.

Femme_Fatale · 10-04-2014 08:32PM

OP, putting aside your posting history (e.g. women v men type threads, poor Charles Saatchi) tell him to contact Amen and tell him what people are saying here - how is it that he is so convinced he has that few rights? I know things can be sh1t for men when it comes to family breakdown, but jeez... talk about throwing in the towel.

emeldc · 10-04-2014 08:33PM

Candie wrote: »

He might seem harmless to you, but lots of apparently harmless people rule a reign of terror behind closed doors.

I know one person who managed to convince every last one of his friends that his ex was a bitter lying bitch out to ruin his reputation.

I didn't believe him, because I saw the bruises and the x-ray of the broken rib.

Was she beating him up as well :eek:

Gatling · 10-04-2014 08:36PM

What made him think he's instantly entitled to a council house

10-04-2014 08:37PM

emeldc wrote: »

Was she beating him up as well :eek:

I doubt it, but you never know. The point is things aren't always as they seem.

Seems the thread is a wind up anyway.

Femme_Fatale · 10-04-2014 08:38PM

Gatling wrote: »

What made him think he's instantly entitled to a council house

Not sure there was anything said about him thinking he's "instantly entitled" to one, he just enquired. Nothing wrong with that, seeing as he's struggling financially.

advice for man whose wife took everything?

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