Men who agree with corporal punishment

kellaman123

I have posted on this issue previously in other forums and tend to get a very biased one sided argument mostly from women! I would wonder do men vary much in their opinion of corporal punishment and it's effectiveness as a type of discipline today. Just reading a previous thread on this forum on aggressive behaviour in teens and it seems there's at least some men out there who feel corporal punishment is useful in dealing with it. So lads are we for or against smacking? Is it acceptable? Do we need a return to the days of the belt and the wooden spoon?

Borderfox

Some people only understand violence, if that's the case then give them what they require

GarIT

It is not right at all, and psychological studies has shown it is not effective.

Iang87

did me no harm. Hit them all

Borderfox

Tell that to the recipient's of their friendly cajoling.

kellaman123

GarIT wrote: »

It is not right at all, and psychological studies has shown it is not effective.

Can you quote any of these studies and there so called ineffective findings!

GarIT

I'll have to get the GF to find them but I will later.

Wilfork

kellaman123 wrote: »

I have posted on this issue previously in other forums and tend to get a very biased one sided argument mostly from women! I would wonder do men vary much in their opinion of corporal punishment and it's effectiveness as a type of discipline today. Just reading a previous thread on this forum on aggressive behaviour in teens and it seems there's at least some men out there who feel corporal punishment is useful in dealing with it. So lads are we for or against smacking? Is it acceptable? Do we need a return to the days of the belt and the wooden spoon?

Are you talking about in relation to women? As in, putting her over your knee if she gets a bit stroppy? I'm tempted to say you've been watching too many John Wayne movies, but some people actually like that!

Call Me Jimmy

I wouldn't hit my dogs and I wouldn't hit a child. It is just laziness which could easily manifest in unpredictable ways down the line.

kellaman123

Wilfork wrote: »

Are you talking about in relation to women? As in, putting her over your knee if she gets a bit stroppy? I'm tempted to say you've been watching too many John Wayne movies, but some people actually like that!

Don't loose the run of yourself now! Not talking about the kinky stuff. Talking about corporal punishment of children and how mend opinions may differ a little from the ladies on the issue!

Wilfork

kellaman123 wrote: »

Don't loose the run of yourself now! Not talking about the kinky stuff. Talking about corporal punishment of children and how mend opinions may differ a little from the ladies on the issue!

You need to make a parallel thread. I'd be much more interested in talking about that

kellaman123

Wilfork wrote: »

You need to make a parallel thread. I'd be much more interested in talking about that

I'm sure that can be arranged lol!

kangaroo

FWIW:

I'm not sure what my position on it in schools is based on what we had:
When I was school, in a private school, corporal punishment was on the way out. Only the principal could give it. You were asked whether your parents gave permission. I genuinely preferred the option of the biff (three slaps on from a thick rubber strap - can't remember was it on one or both hands) than the thought of having to spend 40 minutes (or whatever) doing an essay on life on the inside of a ping pong ball or whatever so I said my parents gave permission as did most guys (it was an all boys school).

However, I wouldn't have liked what it was like in my parents' day when the individual teachers did it and sometimes lashed out in anger.

And I don't think I would have liked it if everyone had to have corporal punishment. But with the choice element, I actually preferred the corporal punishment than the much longer written penalties.

Standman

People have been moaning about "out of control teens" since before, during, and after the corporal punishment days. It wasn't a solution then and it isn't now. The most troublesome kids I knew growing up were the ones whose parents beat them. How about some actual parenting instead of trying to beat your children into submission.

Also, I don't think there would be a drastic difference of opinion between men and women on this and I'm not sure why anyone would think there would be.

Also Starring LeVar Burton

I believe people should give their mates a dig in the arm (or the ribs) if they're acting the dick, because sometimes we all need a friendly, yet effective, reminder not to be a tw@t...

But apart from that, I don't think corporal punishment is an affective means of order.

source

I think it has its place, I'm not talking about beating a child. I'm talking about one or two light smacks across the back of the thigh or butt.

Not enough to hurt but enough to shock.

And not for the tiniest transgression, it should be reserved for serous misbehaviour.

Peregrinus

Generally people who are subejcted to violence are brutalised by the process, not morally improved by it; we see examples of this all around us, all the time. I can't rule out the possiblity that some people, on some occasions, might have absorbed a useful lesson through corporal punishment, but if it happens at all it will be the exception rather than the rule.

Grayfoxy

kellaman123 wrote: »

I have posted on this issue previously in other forums and tend to get a very biased one sided argument mostly from women! I would wonder do men vary much in their opinion of corporal punishment and it's effectiveness as a type of discipline today. Just reading a previous thread on this forum on aggressive behaviour in teens and it seems there's at least some men out there who feel corporal punishment is useful in dealing with it. So lads are we for or against smacking? Is it acceptable? Do we need a return to the days of the belt and the wooden spoon?

In schools, no. By the parents, yes.

I am for it, 25 now, the punishment for being bold was always a smacked as a child, I never once in my life have gone knacker drinking, still address my elders as Mr./Mrs. "X", I say hello to people on the street, I would say I am a pretty well behaved person.

It depends on drawing the line so it does not turn into abuse.

But, different strokes for different folks.

Grayfoxy

Peregrinus wrote: »

Generally people who are subejcted to violence are brutalised by the process, not morally improved by it; we see examples of this all around us, all the time. I can't rule out the possiblity that some people, on some occasions, might have absorbed a useful lesson through corporal punishment, but if it happens at all it will be the exception rather than the rule.

That's bullcrap

itsirishfarmer

spare the rod and spoil the child


King James Version of the Bible, Book of Proverbs, 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Peregrinus

Grayfoxy wrote: »

That's bullcrap

Or, as we English-speakers say, common sense.

Liam McPoyle

I was smacked as a child (on the hand or arse, never anywhere else), I also got the wooden spoon on occasion too, so were my siblings, so were pretty much every one of my mates, cousins, most people I know. Pretty much every one turned out to be well adjusted and "normal" adults.

I dont have kids at the moment but I definitely want at least one in the future and tbh, I would have no hesitation on giving them a slap if they deserved it.

Now, when I say deserved it, I mean it would be in extreme circumstances. For example, if your child ran across a road without stopping, looking etc, a finger wagging or telling off is not going to stick in their mind in relation to the severity of what they had done but a firm slap on the arse, you can be damn sure they will remember that.

The problem with "corporal punishment"* is that like everything, some people will take it too far and thats when it turns into abuse which is another kettle of fish altogether.




*I dont think the term corporal punishment fits when it comes to giving your child a smack on the arse. CP is to me someone getting flogged or whipped and I reckon the term is used by the PC brigade to try and push their agenda. Anti corporal punishment sounds a helluva lot more fearsome than anti smacking.

Peregrinus

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

I dont think the term corporal punishment fits when it comes to giving your child a smack on the arse. CP is to me someone getting flogged or whipped and I reckon the term is used by the PC brigade to try and push their agenda. Anti corporal punishment sounds a helluva lot more fearsome than anti smacking.

The OP asks about corporal punishment used against aggressive behaviour in teenagers. I don't think he has a smack on the arse in mind.

Liam McPoyle

kellaman123 wrote: »

I have posted on this issue previously in other forums and tend to get a very biased one sided argument mostly from women! I would wonder do men vary much in their opinion of corporal punishment and it's effectiveness as a type of discipline today. Just reading a previous thread on this forum on aggressive behaviour in teens and it seems there's at least some men out there who feel corporal punishment is useful in dealing with it. So lads are we for or against smacking? Is it acceptable? Do we need a return to the days of the belt and the wooden spoon?

Peregrinus wrote: »

The OP asks about corporal punishment used against aggressive behaviour in teenagers. I don't think he has a smack on the arse in mind.

Im pretty sure he was on about disciplining kids.

You think the OP was on about using a wooden spoon on rowdy teens?

OP, can you clarify?

Grayfoxy

Peregrinus wrote: »

Or, as we English-speakers say, common sense.

I see no benefit to adding "English-speakers" to that sentence, can you explain what you are implying by that?

Anyway, it would seem that the people who were smacked as a child would agree it does work (like myself)

Please do go on, give me some examples of what we see everyday to indicate it does not work.

Peregrinus

Grayfoxy wrote: »

I see no benefit to adding "English-speakers" to that sentence, can you explain what you are implying by that?

I was suggesting that if thought what I said was bullcrap, you should have found the language to explain why.

Grayfoxy wrote: »

Anyway, it would seem that the people who were smacked as a child would agree it does work (like myself)

First of all, you need to show that other people who were punished agree with you.

Secondly, the mere fact that you now polite and well-behaved does not mean that corporal punishment made you so. Are you say that if you had not been hit, you would now be rude, violent and antisocial?

Grayfoxy wrote: »

Please do go on, give me some examples of what we see everyday to indicate it does not work.

Well, as I say, we can first of all apply common sense to the problem. We know that children learn by modelling the behaviour of their parents. When you hit a child for behaviour that you don’t like, the lesson he primarily learns is not that you don’t like the behaviour - presumably he already knew that. The lesson is that it’s acceptable to hit people for behaviour that you don’t like. In fact, even children who witness corporal punishment being inflicted learn the same lesson.

And observation bears out common sense. There’s abundant studies that show that children who are subjected or exposed to corporal punishment display more aggression than those who are not. Have a look at this research from Canada, or this research from the US. In homes where children are hit, wives and girlfriends are more likely to be hit too. This research from the Netherland suggest that chidren who are hit are at increased risk of cognitive impairment, and this research suggests a link to later cancer, cardiac disease and asthma (all of which are stress-related conditions). In the US, the more that teenagers are hit, the less likely they are to graduate from college. Again in the US, children in states where corporal punishment is practiced have a 50% greater risk of dying in a school shooting that children in states where it is banned. In fact, there's a linear relationship; the higher the observed incidence of corporal punishme in a state, the higher the mortality rate from school shootings in that state.

And why would we expect any different outcome? The notion that there's a particular category of violence against defenceless people that we can cordon off and practice against children without them absorbing certain lessons about the use of violence against defenceless people is not an obviously plausible one. Violence from a physically superior opponent is not just painful; it's humiliating, particularly to teenagers. And if anybody thinks we can morally improve teenagers by humiliating them, that person has forgotten what it is to be a teenager.

kellaman123

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

Im pretty sure he was on about disciplining kids.

You think the OP was on about using a wooden spoon on rowdy teens?

OP, can you clarify?

All I will say was as a teen growing up 30 years ago there was nothing that had a more sobering influence on me when acting the maggot than seeing my dad reach for the belt. On the couple of occasions when he used it I learned a lesson and you know what I don't think I was abused or mistreated in any way.

efb

No we have moved on as a society

kellaman123

efb wrote: »

No we have moved on as a society

We have moved on alright and not necessarily for the better'

source

It's all well and good saying we've move on as a society, but you only have to look around to see g how different things are today compared to 20 years ago when smacking wasn't frowned upon.

There's more violent crime and anti social behavior from youths, there's no respect for authority and there is a complete lack of any way to deal with it.

Kids today don't learn lessons from standing in the bold corner for 2 minutes, they don't fear the punishment, and if you don't fear a punishment you don't have anything to hold you back from doing whatever you want.

The phrase "wait till your father gets home" used to stop me in my tracks even though I can only remember him hitting me twice in my whole childhood.

These days if parents try to discipline unruly kids, the kids threaten to report them for child abuse.

Kids have no fear, and without fear there is no regulation of behavior, and they grow up into the kind of teens most people cross the road to avoid.

bbam

How on earth do people think that teaching children that slapping and physically hurting and humiliating somebody is appropriate behaviour for any reason, how can this be acceptable??
Slap someone about = they do what you want.

Not a good message !