Stingiest things thread(op for R&R access)

Sir Arthur Daley

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

If you snuggle the bottle under your oxter, you can bring it up another 2 degrees and save monies. This will make you rich, for sure. Then, when you die, everyone will love you, especially your kids, who will be able to afford more coke and hookers. And will light many candles.

Good point but there is no such thing as free energy, you will get it warmer but you will need to consume more food as you are using energy heating this water.

tashiusclay

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

If you snuggle the bottle under your oxter, you can bring it up another 2 degrees and save monies. This will make you rich, for sure. Then, when you die, everyone will love you, especially your kids, who will be able to afford more coke and hookers. And will light many candles.

Eh, your kid's getting to spend your money on coke and hookers?? Pfft, feck that, spend it on the coke and ho's yourself, feck the kids!! Careful kettle boiling will lead you to a life filled with cocaine and general debauchery, my friend

StinkySocs

A new girl moved into my house a few months ago, and I was getting the feeling she was a bit tight but didn't really pass any heed...then one evening she's asks me do I know anyway to get the label back on a dress? I says No, why did you pull it off by mistake? She says No I wore it to a wedding last week and want to return it now.

So I'm all like...you can't really do that...
And she's all like oh I always do that!!

Then goes on to tell me how she bought a shirt and two of the buttons fell off, so she went in to Penny's with a nail scissors - yes a nail scissors - and CUT similar looking buttons off a €5 cardigan.
I tried to inform her that some people would call that stealing, but she didn't get it...She said, and I quote..."It was only a €5 cardigan from penny's"
I says to her...if it was only €5 why didn't you buy it....

Seriously!!!

Sam Kade

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

"I'm saving up for a rainy day"


Here's the news, a bus might hit you tomorrow, and it's Ireland, it's always bleedin raining.

Did you listen to your man on o Connor tonight? You are defiantly on the red platform

Sam Kade

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

No. Elucidate, please. I'm all big, red, ears. And go with deffo. "Defiantly" is a whole other ball game.

You're very negative if you were on the green platform you would look at the positive side eg. It's raining today but we'll get over it it will dry up sometime, that's the jist of what he was on about.

pablo128

I'm that stingy that I drive a Toyota to save money, as they're so reliable. And I was secretly thrilled when the missus wanted a small car after she passed her test, as I saved a packet on road tax.

And then there's the green dies..... let's just leave it at that!

Sir Arthur Daley

pablo128 wrote: »

And then there's the green dies.....

..farmers wine

somefeen

My electricity is paid for by my boss.

If I'm having a bad day at work I fill the kettle for one cup

pablo128

somefeen wrote: »

My electricity is paid for by my boss.

If I'm having a bad day at work I fill the kettle for one cup

LOL. I refuse to have a sh1t during a break in work, as I get paid an hourly rate to do it during work hours!

Sir Arthur Daley

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

you know it makes sense Rodney.

It sure does Dave.

Sir Arthur Daley

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Don't call me Dave, Shirley.

I was too stingy to call you your full name as it took more typing.

Thargor

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Them pixels won't pay for themselves you know!

Hi, this is one of the best threads on AH so could you and your friends take your water boiling comedy routine to another thread or better yet Facebook please? Its been going on for 3 pages nd you're the only one that seems to find yourself funny.

RollieFingers

Thargor wrote: »

Hi, this is one of the best threads on AH so could you and your friends take your water boiling comedy routine to another thread or better yet Facebook please? Its been going on for 3 pages nd you're the only one that seems to find yourself funny.

Here Here!

Stavros Murphy

Thargor wrote: »

Hi, this is one of the best threads on AH so could you and your friends take your water boiling comedy routine to another thread or better yet Facebook please? Its been going on for 3 pages nd you're the only one that seems to find yourself funny.

Done. Now you can get on and fascinate us with stories of stinginess. You did see the "threads merged" bit? The boring boiling was in the other one.. it got "merged".. no turds were dropped purposely on this pristine lawn.

Sir Arthur Daley

I heard a story earlier at work of a fella who was so bad he used recycle the envelopes he got that contained his post, he used to melt the glue holding the envelope together and turn it inside out and sellotape it back together, any stamp that would be only lightly marked by the post office he would heat it off and reuse it too.

orangesoda

The tesco self service machine wouldn't give back my 2p change the other day so i made the worker open it up with keys and get it for me

rab!dmonkey

HarryLime wrote: »

[...]
this lady had them also engrave her name and details (with just the year of her passing being left out obviously) on the gravestone. Apparently because it was just more ‘cost effective’ to do it all in one go!
[...]

But she's going to have to pay to have her date of death carved on anyway - why should what she did be any cheaper than having both of her dates done 'all in one go'?

Mrs Garth Brooks

My sister asked my mother for a gift bag, cause my mother gathers them up.

My sister was using the gift bag to put the mother's day gift into it, and telling me that she'll get it back tomorrow.

How stingey is that?

What's the biggest cheapskate you know?

az2wp0sye65487

There's already a HUGE 'stingey people' thread around here somewhere....

wazky

The wan who couldn't post in the stinge thread and made her own instead.

Tight as a ducks hole.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Mother wont be able to hold the excitement of that gift bag coming back to her filled with Primark stuff no doubt.

PizzamanIRL

7up Christmas on Ice is fairly cheap as far as I know.

tomwaterford

could she not have just used an ordinary bag???

who saves gift bags...I fear you may be related to more than one cheapskate OP

Specialun

Is your sister hot

Sir Arthur Daley

tomwaterford wrote: »

could she not have just used an ordinary bag???

Or a bag for life, 39 cent in the lidls.

Drexel

The girlfriend always gets these bags. Buys a present and spends nearly a fiver on a fancy bag haha. Madness. If that makes me cheap then so be it!

tomwaterford

jonny666 wrote: »

The girlfriend always gets these bags. Buys a present and spends nearly a fiver on a fancy bag haha. Madness. If that makes me cheap then so be it!

WTF e5 on a fancy bag???

Drexel

tomwaterford wrote: »

WTF e5 on a fancy bag???

Yup. For like a kids toy or something. It's fûcking mental. The kid doesn't give a **** about the bag

partyguinness

Had to pop into a garage on the way home a few weeks ago to pump a front tyre. When I got to the air pump, it was already running as someone had just used it and had gone (you get 5 mins).

I was delighted. I had saved myself 50p and it was the first thing I told the wife when I got home...:o

How sad am I...:(

veryangryman

partyguinness wrote: »

Had to pop into a garage on the way home a few weeks ago to pump a front tyre. When I got to the air pump, it was already running as someone had just used it and had gone (you get 5 mins).

I was delighted. I had saved myself 50p and it was the first thing I told the wife when I got home...:o

How sad am I...:(

Time was that was free anyway. Meh...