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Net cost of wedding

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    #62
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    Melanoma wrote: »
    Yea I have a handle on costs through other posts in boards.ie

    The hotel I'd be interested in costs 54 euro a head for there medium priced meal package and it is a good package.
    Melanoma wrote: »
    Lazygal I am not getting married I am just interested in what the net cost of big wedding is. Rather than think about the splinter in my eye maybe ......

    Errrr ..... These two posts do not go together. Why are you looking at hotels and wedding packages if you are supposedly not getting married? :rolleyes:


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    #63
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    Whether the OP is in fact getting married or not, is irrelevant.

    I actually think the question asked in the OP was crass in the extreme, and I'm amazed anyone bothered to give them figures! It's nobody's business but their own.

    FWIW, I agree with Toots. Don't make the mistake of banking on monetary gifts to balance out the costs. I've heard of a few weddings where the couple have had to take out loans to cover the costs after making the mistake of thinking money received would pay for it.

    If the OP IS getting married? Then I would base the cost of the wedding on what the budget will allow. Nothing else.


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    #64
    kippy
    Registered Users Posts: 18,465 ✭✭✭✭kippy


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    Whether the OP is in fact getting married or not, is irrelevant.

    I actually think the question asked in the OP was crass in the extreme, and I'm amazed anyone bothered to give them figures! It's nobody's business but their own.

    FWIW, I agree with Toots. Don't make the mistake of banking on monetary gifts to balance out the costs. I've heard of a few weddings where the couple have had to take out loans to cover the costs after making the mistake of thinking money received would pay for it.

    If the OP IS getting married? Then I would base the cost of the wedding on what the budget will allow. Nothing else.
    If you were to analyses most posts on this site you could probably apply the same statement to it (ie the opinion or information contained within was nobodies business but their -the posters - own).
    However this is a discussion site so it helps if people are relatively open about their life experiences and share the knowledge.
    The OP asked a pretty straightforward questions and has been given a relatively good rundown of the bits and pieces involved, no matter what the original motive behind asking the question.

    Ultimately it is a topic people think about, whether it be crass or not........


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    #65
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    kippy wrote: »
    If you were to analyses most posts on this site you could probably apply the same statement to it (ie the opinion or information contained within was nobodies business but their -the posters - own).
    However this is a discussion site so it helps if people are relatively open about their life experiences and share the knowledge.
    The OP asked a pretty straightforward questions and has been given a relatively good rundown of the bits and pieces involved, no matter what the original motive behind asking the question.

    Ultimately it is a topic people think about, whether it be crass or not........

    Perhaps it is. But it's crass to ask people, particularly strangers about money in the manner the OP has. I think it's fine to ask about figures in a general manner.

    And for your information? I, along with a lot of people didn't think about net costs (i.e. 'Oooh. I wonder how much money guests will give us?'). We paid for the wedding based on our BUDGET. Whatever guests chose to give us was ultimately up to them. Some of them didn't even give us a gift. That was fine with us too.


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    #66
    kippy
    Registered Users Posts: 18,465 ✭✭✭✭kippy


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    Perhaps it is. But it's crass to ask people, particularly strangers about money in the manner the OP has. I think it's fine to ask about figures in a general manner.

    And for your information? I, along with a lot of people didn't think about net costs (i.e. 'Oooh. I wonder how much money guests will give us?'). We paid for the wedding based on our BUDGET. Whatever guests chose to give us was ultimately up to them. Some of them didn't even give us a gift. That was fine with us too.
    This site is generally where people ask strangers things, crass or not.

    As I said earlier, presents never came into it for me, I'd have been happy if no one gave anything, just had a great time celebrating the marriage.

    That said everyone is different and some people obviously want to see what a general consensus on this is.


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    #67
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    It's the OPs reaction to replies that's crass, rather than the question.


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    #68
    whomitconcerns
    Registered Users Posts: 4,323 ✭✭✭whomitconcerns


    in romania when you attend it is expected that you give enough money to cover the cost of the wedding celebration. Its a good idea if you think about it as you can have as big a party as you want, and if you have the attendees for it you wont go bankrupt in the process. Roughly 120€ per person is normal there. But people do check how much the celebration costs in advance from the hotel..


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    #69
    Minier81
    Registered Users Posts: 623 ✭✭✭Minier81


    January wrote: »
    He wants people to tot up what they paid for their wedding versus what people gave them in gifts. Only greedy people do that.

    That is very unfair. I kept a list of all gifts received so that when I send a thank you card I can make it as personal... thank you for the lovely painting etc. If you I didn't keep a list I would have been afraid I'd forget to thank someone.

    To answer the OP. We had 160 guests, got gifts of art, glassware, vouchers, cash and a toaster. Loved it all except the toaster. We also got gifts from a few people who could not make the day and some people we didn't invite. Total cash/vouchers was about 14,000. I was the same as most other poster, in that we had money saved to pay for the wedding (about 25k excluding honeymoon) so any presents were a delightful bonus.

    Having said that one of my friends told me we were mad to invite less 160 people as "you only make your money back by inviting 300+".... now that's crass!!


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    #70
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    ABajaninCork wrote: »

    And for your information? I, along with a lot of people didn't think about net costs (i.e. 'Oooh. I wonder how much money guests will give us?'). We paid for the wedding based on our BUDGET. Whatever guests chose to give us was ultimately up to them. Some of them didn't even give us a gift. That was fine with us too.

    +1

    most of our guests got us gifts, some really thoughtful ones too, some got us nothing at all but we were so happy just that they could make it (we knew money was tight for people),


    if you are looking for net cost vs gifts received i didn't count the gifts but at a guess i would say the money we received would have covered roughly 10% of costs.

    we had everything paid for in advance/on the day though, so anything we received was a gift.


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    #71
    Melanoma
    Registered Users Posts: 310 ✭✭Melanoma


    Folks again some beat the person asking the question but sure never mind. I checked out a local hotel recently and there menu was 59, but like I am not getting married, I don't have a girlfriend for that matter.

    It was just something I was curious about and if people want to read into that as being greedy then sure i can understand how someone might jump to that conclusion.

    In any case I was grateful to all the people that did provide information and as I said it might help people that are looking for information make informed decisions and not have to ask people that might read negatively into it.


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    #72
    Melanoma
    Registered Users Posts: 310 ✭✭Melanoma


    Minier81 wrote: »
    That is very unfair. I kept a list of all gifts received so that when I send a thank you card I can make it as personal... thank you for the lovely painting etc. If you I didn't keep a list I would have been afraid I'd forget to thank someone.

    To answer the OP. We had 160 guests, got gifts of art, glassware, vouchers, cash and a toaster. Loved it all except the toaster. We also got gifts from a few people who could not make the day and some people we didn't invite. Total cash/vouchers was about 14,000. I was the same as most other poster, in that we had money saved to pay for the wedding (about 25k excluding honeymoon) so any presents were a delightful bonus.

    Having said that one of my friends told me we were mad to invite less 160 people as "you only make your money back by inviting 300+".... now that's crass!!

    Yes I do find weddings that are very big a bit too much like cattle penned in at the table. 300+ is something that if I was getting married I would not want no matter what the cost.

    I dunno I have a big family but a lot of the cousins have kids by now so don't make it to as many now. I think for the traditional wedding I'd have in mind in so far as I'd see it around 150 people maybe 200 is what I've seen as a good crowd with enough people to party and such.

    I think I started out wondering about the offset cost but as people answered like you, I came more to the conclusion that the presents have to be viewed as that and meeting the costs you've got to be thinking that is what it costs.

    The down side of that I guess is whether someone might be less inclined to be able to afford it but its definitely the right way to approach it from a mindset.

    Have to saying getting art would be a nice present in that when you'd see it it would remind you a bit of the day, in a way that maybe everyday things like plates might not.

    In any case I got a date for the weekend so maybe there's some hope for me yet?


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    #73
    Minier81
    Registered Users Posts: 623 ✭✭✭Minier81


    Melanoma wrote: »
    Yes I do find weddings that are very big a bit too much like cattle penned in at the table. 300+ is something that if I was getting married I would not want no matter what the cost.

    I dunno I have a big family but a lot of the cousins have kids by now so don't make it to as many now. I think for the traditional wedding I'd have in mind in so far as I'd see it around 150 people maybe 200 is what I've seen as a good crowd with enough people to party and such.

    Completely agree, 300+ would have been a nightmare for me, no way. Well to give an idea we invited 180 and 160 could make it, pretty much bang on the expected 10% refusal rate for a Saturday wedding.

    Glad to hear you got a date :-)


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    #74
    DoozerT6
    Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭DoozerT6


    OP, if you don't even have a girlfriend at the moment, you theoretically might not even get married for say, another 10-15 years, if ever!!! - who knows what the economic situation will be then? The figures you have seen here might be hopelessly out of date by then.

    Just take it as it comes, and have a wedding that involves your friends and family coming together to celebrate your wedding, not just how much it's going to cost and how much you will make back....I'm not naïve enough to think that it's NOT a consideration for some people, but holy cow, relax!!! ;)

    'Find a girl, settle down...if you want, you can marry'. Just don't be so, I don't know - mercenary?? about it.

    Hope the date goes well for you!!!


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    #75
    Melanoma
    Registered Users Posts: 310 ✭✭Melanoma


    DoozerT6 wrote: »
    OP, if you don't even have a girlfriend at the moment, you theoretically might not even get married for say, another 10-15 years, if ever!!! - who knows what the economic situation will be then? The figures you have seen here might be hopelessly out of date by then.

    Just take it as it comes, and have a wedding that involves your friends and family coming together to celebrate your wedding, not just how much it's going to cost and how much you will make back....I'm not naïve enough to think that it's NOT a consideration for some people, but holy cow, relax!!! ;)

    'Find a girl, settle down...if you want, you can marry'. Just don't be so, I don't know - mercenary?? about it.

    Hope the date goes well for you!!!

    OMG, embarrassed there now. I'm like an engineer at least in a former life and used to work out my pay per second. Yea I'm not really like thinking that far ahead, just you know I'm a numbers person. That and physics and science and the way things work I guess is of interest to me. But so is dancing, poetry watching little birds flying around and having craic with the lads.

    For a long time there I was like avoiding meeting anyone cause work was so unreliable and I'd to move twice and I hate being unsettled. Even now its like totally uncertain. I've always worked but you know its like impossible to know what will happen. That makes it hard to feel credible.

    Really stupid as it sounds the more I understand things the less they worry me or they are in the back of my head somewhere and knowing stuff quantifies it and diminishes it one way or the other.

    Anyhow I am blatantly breaking my rule about sticking to the topic here. :P

    But yea like 15 years ago settle down etc was something I worried about a lot now I'm just too old to worry but still think maybe I could be someone's happy ever after at least till the kids or arguments about furniture make the misses head back to far far away.

    Yes thinking about things in the futures future is something I can't see myself doing but really this post was more about just being curious with maybe a omg I'm so fecked somewhere in the back of my head but I didn't know that
    at the time. :cool::pac::cool:


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