Net cost of wedding

lazygal

Electric Sheep wrote: »

It's a touchy subject - nobody wants to admit they factor in the wedding gifts to the price of the wedding, but most people having a large wedding do it.

They're setting themselves up for money worries so. Why plan a large wedding and then expect guests to foot the bill?


If I knew the op and that they described their wedding as a loss making venture I'd be strongly tempted to give a toaster.

Melanoma

lazygal wrote: »

They're setting themselves up for money worries so. Why plan a large wedding and then expect guests to foot the bill?


If I knew the op and that they described their wedding as a loss making venture I'd be strongly tempted to give a toaster.

Lazygal I am not getting married I am just interested in what the net cost of big wedding is. Rather than think about the splinter in my eye maybe ......

Of course you are trolling. Totally trying to take over a discussion about what the net cost of wedding is by trying to make it into a discussion about the person that posted the question.

So sad that your actually getting annoyed by somebody for being greedy that
A is not greedy
B is not getting married
C is not interested in making money from getting married
D will not be making a profit or a loss from a wedding

This is a genuine question that people that are getting married are entitled to have answers to and it would be a hard question to ask in the real world because people like you might jump to conclusions.

So my advice is to spend some time come up with some toast to describe someone who gets things a bit wrong and likes to not answer a question asked but make up a reason to get annoyed.

lazygal

Melanoma wrote: »

Lazygal I am not getting married I am just interested in what the net cost of big wedding is. Rather than think about the splinter in my eye maybe ......

Of course you are trolling. Totally trying to take over a discussion about what the net cost of wedding is by trying to make it into a discussion about the person that posted the question.

So sad that your actually getting annoyed by somebody for being greedy that
A is not greedy
B is not getting married
C is not interested in making money from getting married
D will not be making a profit or a loss from a wedding

This is a genuine question that people that are getting married are entitled to have answers to and it would be a hard question to ask in the real world because people like you might jump to conclusions.

So my advice is to spend some time come up with some toast to describe someone who gets things a bit wrong and likes to not answer a question asked but make up a reason to get annoyed.

Genuine question, why do you want to know this information? Are you a wedding planner who wants to advise couples how much they'll "make"? Why is anyone "entitled" to know what invited guests will give as gifts? The conclusion I've come to is that people plan weddings outside their budget, and build projected cash gifts in to bulk up the spend they decide on or plan on using cash gifts to offset the expenses, when they speculate on their loss making ventures, or weddings.

Millem

Electric Sheep wrote: »

It's a touchy subject - nobody wants to admit they factor in the wedding gifts to the price of the wedding, but most people having a large wedding do it.

I agree! I got completely disillusioned with it after adding up all the costs and then not to mention the cost on the guests! My friends and family told me not to be silly and that guests don't mind the cost of going to a wedding. I just want to elope

username123

Millem wrote: »

I agree! I got completely disillusioned with it after adding up all the costs and then not to mention the cost on the guests! My friends and family told me not to be silly and that guests don't mind the cost of going to a wedding. I just want to elope

I hate the cost of going to a wedding. I've attended weddings where the couple got married early in the day in the back ar$e of nowhere (not near or between either sets of families) necessitating staying two nights somewhere to attend. Having to take time off work is a killer too, one year I was invited to 7 different weddings and only 1 was on a weekend day, needless to say, there was no holiday that year for me, between hens and weddings I'd barely any holidays left to take from work let alone the cost.

Having experienced all of the above, I DID elope!

The Master.

I got married abroad but not many people cam abroad but we went for a chinese buffet back in Ireland when a few went not 250 thoughb but we got some presents abroad and some people who gave gifts didnt pack many big things because it was the time of baggege restrictions at airports but it was lucky because we went to Spain where they were using euros and we spent a few euros in Spain so dont really know what we got as presents and when we came back we didnt get a lot of money presents because a few who werre at the buffet had been abroad and had already gave some things.
Really hope this helps.

Melanoma

Millem wrote: »

I agree! I got completely disillusioned with it after adding up all the costs and then not to mention the cost on the guests! My friends and family told me not to be silly and that guests don't mind the cost of going to a wedding. I just want to elope

Hi Millem,

Its always an expensive day out and I usually go alone and give between 80 and 100 euro and 100 sterling for cousins (in the north).

I've gone to maybe 15 of my cousins wedding and about another 30 from friends, neighbours to people I work with.

I always enjoy weddings. They are a great way for family to meet though my Aunts and Uncles are all getting old now they'd be annoyed if a year went by with out one (40 cousins on one side).

I think if you invite people you know and neighbours everyone is always okay with it. Sometimes you can't cause of the hotel costs involved. You have to be selective. But once I'm going to a wedding I never mind the present too much.

I'd say most people are glad to see people they know getting married. Sometimes with neighbours that you don't know their kids getting married its a bit like ... but then these local weddings are a great way to get to know people.

It really is a huge day and you'll always remember it so I'd agree with what people say and just go for it enjoy it and have the memories after that. Starting out its a cost most couple can do without but if you don't do the big day you can't do it again after.

Best of luck hope your day is great!!

Dietsquirt

Melanoma wrote: »

Hi folks wondering if you had a wedding costing 25,000 for 250 guests. Well what type of presents might you get and how far into the cost of the wedding would it go.

This is not for myself I'm not getting married I'm just curious if anyone did get married without 250 guests.

Variables like if your from a wealthy background obviously I'm just thinking about if it was your average couple getting married.

That said I don't mind any answers but I don't want to qualify it with answering loads of questions, just looking for a quick answer.

Thanks,

P

€8769

Toots

Melanoma wrote: »

Does that matter? I am curious, I'd like to know. I suppose if I ever was to get hitched it might be good to know ahead of time instead of asking people closer to the time. I enjoy knowing things. I'm fairly mathematical. It would be embarrassing to ask someone in person and it might be hard for them to answer. Only so many people you ask would remember or have recorded it.

Please only answers. Why so many questions for a very simple question??

I dunno maybe I sound annoyed but I'm just trying to satisfy my curiosity.

Ok then......so long as you're not looking for information to populate a survey or write an article.....

You're not going to get a straight answer on this, there are an absolutely massive amount of variables when it comes to weddings. Also there's no way to know what guests will give as presents until the big day.

kippy

Lots of variables.
You could make a rough guess that on average you'll get about 75 euros per person (this would take into account those that gave less/more and/or gave actual gifts as opposed to cash), that average would change depending on the "how long is a piece of string" variables mentioned earlier.
Which would be around 18000 for 250 people.

We spent about 2/3 of our budget on the wedding and 1/3 on a four week "extravagant" (some might say) honeymoon and if I were doing it again I'd have made the honey moon even more extravagant and cut back on the little bits and pieces in the wedding to cover it.
Really enjoyed the honeymoon, great memories and I'll never be able to do that trip again.
Really enjoyed the wedding day too mind, great to have all friends and family in one place, if none of them gave a gift it wouldn't have bothered me. Its not what its about.

Electric Sheep

lazygal wrote: »

They're setting themselves up for money worries so. Why plan a large wedding and then expect guests to foot the bill?


If I knew the op and that they described their wedding as a loss making venture I'd be strongly tempted to give a toaster.

I totally understand where you are coming from, but it does seem that over the past few years the peer pressure around weddings has become ridiculously intense, and everyone seems to feel the need to keep up with/outdo their friends' weddings. Of course, they can't afford to pay for it, but they'll have it anyway.

Millem

username123 wrote: »

I hate the cost of going to a wedding. I've attended weddings where the couple got married early in the day in the back ar$e of nowhere (not near or between either sets of families) necessitating staying two nights somewhere to attend. Having to take time off work is a killer too, one year I was invited to 7 different weddings and only 1 was on a weekend day, needless to say, there was no holiday that year for me, between hens and weddings I'd barely any holidays left to take from work let alone the cost.

Having experienced all of the above, I DID elope!

One of the weddings we got invited to this year started on a Thursday and finished on a Sunday! I didn't go just sent the OH It was the other side of the country so OH had to stay in a hotel for 2 nights and came home the Saturday! Him and the lads shared and it just worked out so much cheaper! We were talking about the whole wedding presents in work a few months ago and one woman was complaining saying she had two weddings (down the country) to go to this summer (herself, her husband and 3 kids, 2 of which are 17 and 19) she reckons it was going to cost her €400-€500 for each wedding. She was delighted with herself as she bought a cutlery set in house of Fraser that was on sale (reduced from €300 to €100) I laughed to myself as I thought of all the cutlery my friend got!

username123

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I totally understand where you are coming from, but it does seem that over the past few years the peer pressure around weddings has become ridiculously intense, and everyone seems to feel the need to keep up with/outdo their friends' weddings. Of course, they can't afford to pay for it, but they'll have it anyway.

Did that carry on not all stop post 2007/2008?

Melanoma

Toots* wrote: »

Ok then......so long as you're not looking for information to populate a survey or write an article.....

You're not going to get a straight answer on this, there are an absolutely massive amount of variables when it comes to weddings. Also there's no way to know what guests will give as presents until the big day.

Okay so I am looking for the experience others have not a definitive answer as I already said.

BTW I feel other folks answers have now answered the question to my satisfaction.

Some day maybe I dunno not exactly a dream but maybe I'd have liked to have had a big day out in any case

lazygal

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I totally understand where you are coming from, but it does seem that over the past few years the peer pressure around weddings has become ridiculously intense, and everyone seems to feel the need to keep up with/outdo their friends' weddings. Of course, they can't afford to pay for it, but they'll have it anyway.

I've noticed weddings have become a lot simpler in recent years. Lots of couples paring back guest lists, not bothering with cakes/favours/getting less expensive dresses and not having honeymoons right after the wedding. If you want to keep up with the Jones' don't rely on or except your guests to pay the shortfall.

Melanoma

username123 wrote: »

Did that carry on not all stop post 2007/2008?

That is true, for me its about a good meal, good speeches and a good couple and how well you know them.

The extra on top of extra stuff got out of hand and I often heard guests complaining about the extra stuff as being a little foolish.

God knows the brides and grooms this type of stuff it must put them under a lot of pressure.

Every wedding is a bit different but essentially they are pretty much the same. Things like having jugglers in and fireworks well often at the back of that are rich parents but the guests really are like ????

Fair enough though for those with lots of money.

Electric Sheep

username123 wrote: »

Did that carry on not all stop post 2007/2008?

Judging by the two weddings I attended in 2013, no.

Toots

Melanoma wrote: »

Okay so I am looking for the experience others have not a definitive answer as I already said.

BTW I feel other folks answers have now answered the question to my satisfaction.

Some day maybe I dunno not exactly a dream but maybe I'd have liked to have had a big day out in any case

Honestly, the best advice I can give you is if you're planning the wedding, leave out offsetting gifts altogether. Just don't think about it that way at all. Most people have a rough figure in the back of their minds about what they estimate to get, however nobody talks about it because it is fairly crass to discuss. Also, no matter how well founded your expectations are, if you're budget includes money you expect to make as gifts then you're heading into dangerous waters you never know, auntie mary who gave all the other cousins massive cash gifts might have had a tough year and is only springing for a toaster!

Here's a rough amount from my own wedding, can't remember it exactly but here goes:

Cost of wedding: Roughly €17,000
This included the dresses, suits, car hire, flowers, church donations etc, legal fee, photographer, dj, hairdos, hotel package, cake, upgrade to champagne on arrival for all the guests and round of drinks of guest's choice for toast. I could be leaving stuff out but that's what I remember.
Gifts is harder to estimate because we were given most of them on the day, however a lot of people gave them to us if they saw us in the weeks running up to it. I think in cash we got about 3-4k, and I've no idea what value would be on the other gifts because I never considered how much they were worth moneywise, to me they're priceless because of sentimental value.

Oh forgot to add, we had 119 at our wedding, 96 adults and 23 kids.

pwurple

Our wedding was just less than 70 people in the noughties.

I'm also an excel nut, and still have the budget tracker document. The wedding cost was 9673.

We kept a list of gifts, so I could thank people specifically for what they had given us when we went to write the thank you cards later on. Had a quick check, 60% of attendees gave us monetary gifts (cash). I didn't record the individual amounts... expect for a handful of couples who were engaged at the time, where we were going to their wedding shortly.


The advice given by Toots is sound. Don't include expected cash gifts as part of your budget. You will in turn be invited to those weddings or similar, so it all balances out.

ABajaninCork

pwurple wrote: »

I'm also an excel nut, and still have the budget tracker document. The wedding cost was 9673.

Funny you should say that. I too married in the noughties, and I still have my budget spreadsheet with all the costs in £'s as well as Euro. (I organised my wedding from the UK). Worked out the VAT too and was pleasantly surprised to find all prices here included it! I also have my list of presents and who gave what so that we could personalise the Thank You cards mentioning the gift.

I won't go into specifics though!

solerina

Not long married, we had 220 guests, wedding cost approx. 22,000 and we got 16,000-17,000 back in cash or cheques. We had the cost of the wedding saved up ourselves so we weren't depending on presents. We also got a lot of cups, glasses, lamps etc.

I don't mind answering the question but I must admit that after reading this thread I don't really like your attitude OP....I know you asked a specific question but you have been fairly 'cranky' towards anyone who questioned your motives which is unnecessary in my opinion.

893bet

solerina wrote: »

Not long married, we had 220 guests, wedding cost approx. 22,000 and we got 16,000-17,000 back in cash or cheques. We had the cost of the wedding saved up ourselves so we weren't depending on presents. We also got a lot of cups, glasses, lamps etc.

Very similar to mine. Are you my wife lol?

solerina wrote: »

I don't really like your attitude OP....I know you asked a specific question but you have been fairly 'cranky' towards anyone who questioned your motives which is unnecessary in my opinion.

But those questioning the OPs motives did so in the all predictable high horse fashion making assumptions about the OPs motives.

I expected presents off all my guests (obviously the are exceptions depending on circumstances) same as any time I go to a wedding I give a present. Its give and take. If you add up what ever you receive in presents you will be damn sure over your life time you will end up giving it all back!

Gatica

We had just under 110 guests, we got back around 30% of cost of wedding.

Statistically it looks like larger weddings make a better "profit".

kippy

Gatica wrote: »

We had just under 110 guests, we got back around 30% of cost of wedding.

Statistically it looks like larger weddings make a better "profit".

If you want to be totally "cold" bout it then yes, depending on a few things large weddings generally work out with more income as some of the costs are the same no matter how many people you have there.
Various fees, band, cake, photographer, videographer etc etc)
The meal tends to be the only major one reliant on the number of guests etc.

Gatica

yeah, that's probably the maths of it. You'll have similar base costs which will be smaller per head the more heads you have... :P

Addle

Gatica wrote: »

yeah, that's probably the maths of it. You'll have similar base costs which will be smaller per head the more heads you have... :P

It's the Eddie Hobbs wedding.

Melanoma

Gatica wrote: »

We had just under 110 guests, we got back around 30% of cost of wedding.

Statistically it looks like larger weddings make a better "profit".

Yea though the bigger weddings cost more overall. The meal part might get covered by guests.

I guess from ever response it should be clear to people that relying on presents would be the wrong way to look at it though you know to expect some of the costs to be offset, its kinda better to think if nothing coming in and then the presents are just that.

That does mean though looking at the cost being 15 to 25 k for a traditional wedding which is a big chunk towards the deposit on a house or other stuff.

For that you get a great day, to celebrate with friends and family.

I guess the other thing that I felt as I read responses is that the cost itself is one thing but that it is something that I think people should try to do if they can cause that day okay it might fade from memory somewhat but everyone should have that big day, and looking back to the past people did maybe with more modest conditions but that tradition is something worth a lot more than the money value. Sure maybe as a bloke much if the ceremony might seems a but ott but actually it is a kinda achieving to do it and a great day for not just the couple but the family.

I dunno what I really expected asking this question but that was the result. I guess if I met miss right somehow now I'd be more excited about the idea of what a big day might mean. In any case I do hope that people looking for this information can gain information from people in so far as any online information can be worth and that it might be useful for them.

love to all best wishes and nano nano

Boskowski

Millem wrote: »

My friend tells me roughly you get 50-60% back in cash. And the expect to be surprised who gives you what! She found a lot of people who would not have spare cash to be very generous and others who are very comfortable to give much less or nothing in some cases.

Don't want to derail the thread, just a thought...

I hear that quite often in difference contexts. The idea that a lot of the less well off people are more generous than well off people in most aspects of life.
Does it occur to anyone that being too generous with money they don't have is the very reason or at least a contributing factor to them being less well off?

clint_silver

Boskowski wrote: »

Don't want to derail the thread, just a thought...

I hear that quite often in difference contexts. The idea that a lot of the less well off people are more generous than well off people in most aspects of life.
Does it occur to anyone that being too generous with money they don't have is the very reason or at least a contributing factor to them being less well off?

no.

scary

Melanoma wrote: »

Yea I have a handle on costs through other posts in boards.ie

The hotel I'd be interested in costs 54 euro a head for there medium priced meal package and it is a good package.

I thought you said you weren't getting married and it was just for information purposes?