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In the Noclight: koth
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salacious crumb wrote: »Will you now be changing your official title to contain the words "current noclight champion of the nocuverse"?I had the most questions, Koth has the most posts, should it be pistols at dawn for that title ?
If you can read this, you're too close!
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And, just cos I am in a giddy mood (I finish work today for Xmas!)
- How does a shepherd count his flock without falling asleep?
- Are there female leprechauns?
- Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?
- Do fish sleep?
- Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?
- Why do all the days of the week end in "y"?
- Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
- Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
- If God created everything, and He knows everything ahead of time, why did He create Satan?
- On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?
- Do pigs pull ham strings?
- Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?
- Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"?
- Why do people say heads up when you should duck?
- Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?
- Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
- If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?
- Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?
- If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?
- If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a
- nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?
- If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
- If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?
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"Someone" gave me a block of 800 questions,
Oh, I didn't know that.... well then, turnabout is fair play :P
Kothikins...... Here ya go x- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
- If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
- If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
- How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
- If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
- If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
- If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
- If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
- If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
- If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
- If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
- If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
- If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
- If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
- If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
- If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
- If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
- If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
- If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
- If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
- If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation? If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
- If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
- If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
- If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
- If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
- If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
- If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
- If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up?
- If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
- If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
- If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?
- If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
- If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
- If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
- If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
- If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
- If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
- If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
- If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
- If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
- If you take a shower, where do you put it?
- If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?
- If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
- Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
- Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
- Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- Is there a Dr. Salt?
- Isn't hot water already hot?
- Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
- Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
- Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
- Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
- Shouldn't it be some things in moderation?
- Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
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And, just cos I am in a giddy mood (I finish work today for Xmas!)How does a shepherd count his flock without falling asleep?Are there female leprechauns?Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?Do fish sleep?Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?Why do all the days of the week end in "y"?Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?If God created everything, and He knows everything ahead of time, why did He create Satan?On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?Do pigs pull ham strings?Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?
Yes.Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"?Why do people say heads up when you should duck?Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?If you can read this, you're too close!
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Oh, I didn't know that.... well then, turnabout is fair play :P
Kothikins...... Here ya go xIf a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Only if they give him enough thyme to try and pay the penalty first!If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?If God dropped acid, would he see people?How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?If you can read this, you're too close!
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If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you can read this, you're too close!
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Join Date:Posts: 68245
Back again!:D
Zombies have invaded the Earth, what would you do first?
Who’d be on your fighting team?
What best suits your role in the group?
Describe your body type?
What is in your zombie apocalypse survival kit?
Where is the best place to make into a base?
How would you rate your physical condition?
What is ideal body protection?
What is your transportation of choice?
How's your tolerance for blood/gore, violence, and death?
Do you own a gun?
What is your favorite melee weapon?
One of your group has been bitten, what do you do?
Winter is coming, and the heat has been disabled for weeks now. What's your next move?
Say you were on the run from a mob of zombies in a shopping mall , which store would you choose to hide in?
Is there a cure to the Zombie Infection??
Ta ta!;)0 -
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
If you can read this, you're too close!
0 -
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-
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up?If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?If you take a shower, where do you put it?
If you can read this, you're too close!
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If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?Is a castrated pig disgruntled?Is it possible to be totally partial?Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?Is there a Dr. Salt?Isn't hot water already hot?Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?Shouldn't it be some things in moderation?Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
If you can read this, you're too close!
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Koth, you are a legend!
Thanks for the giggles, really enjoyed your Noclight x0 -
Back again!:DZombies have invaded the Earth, what would you do first?Who’d be on your fighting team?What best suits your role in the group?Describe your body type?What is in your zombie apocalypse survival kit?Where is the best place to make into a base?How would you rate your physical condition?What is ideal body protection?What is your transportation of choice?How's your tolerance for blood/gore, violence, and death?Do you own a gun?What is your favorite melee weapon?One of your group has been bitten, what do you do?Winter is coming, and the heat has been disabled for weeks now. What's your next move?Say you were on the run from a mob of zombies in a shopping mall , which store would you choose to hide in?Is there a cure to the Zombie Infection??Ta ta!;)
If you can read this, you're too close!
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What is left on your 'to do' list for Christmas?
What are your resolutions for 2014?
What was your high point of 2013?
What are your plans for NYE?0 -
girl_friday wrote: »What is left on your 'to do' list for Christmas?What are your resolutions for 2014?What was your high point of 2013?
What are your plans for NYE?
get drunk with brothers
Thanks everyone for the fun Noctlight.:)If you can read this, you're too close!
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This discussion has been closed.
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