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Grindr and a relationship- am i wrong here

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    #62
    jabarrett35
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭jabarrett35


    I just had to get the €50 business off my chest so iMessaged him this last night:Hi I never got a chance to tell you how hurt I was by your accusation that I had taken €50 from your wallet. I mean who starts a conversation like that. It's strange you remembered my transgressions of Saturday night but not giving me €50. Anyway I've got that off my chest. Bye. I got no response though he read it though.


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    #63
    jabarrett35
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭jabarrett35


    Well I hate to confess I got back on the merry go round again, but I'll be keeping my distance this time.


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    #64
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    jabarrett35 wrote: »
    Well I hate to confess I got back on the merry go round again, but I'll be keeping my distance this time.

    What does back on the merry go round mean?


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    #65
    jabarrett35
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭jabarrett35


    floggg wrote: »
    What does back on the merry go round mean?

    It means we are both texting each other all day. However I shan't be seeing him over the Christmas which is good. I can't go through all that again! He tested the waters on Monday by asking if I'd sent him a Christmas card! I replied and we were off and running.


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    #66
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    jabarrett35 wrote: »
    It means we are both texting each other all day. However I shan't be seeing him over the Christmas which is good. I can't go through all that again! He tested the waters on Monday by asking if I'd sent him a Christmas card! I replied and we were off and running.

    Well, you seem to know yourself it's a bad idea so not much point in saying anything more.


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    #67
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,053 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    jabarrett35 wrote: »
    Well I hate to confess I got back on the merry go round again, but I'll be keeping my distance this time.

    Just block his phone number and move on!!!!!!!

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #68
    hotbabe1992
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 602 ✭✭✭hotbabe1992


    Yeah i would agree its like toying with fire,would you put your hand back on the fire if you knew you were going to get burned?

    You have to look at this with a bit of logic.If this guy treated you like dirt and had you at his back and call for sex and nothing more messed with your head and done all those nasty things just leave it be.

    Better off free of that nonsense.Its all the way you look at it.

    Maybe deep down its a confidence issue,if you have a low opinion of yourself or very low self esteem you will fall into these traps with low down greasy sleazy types of men.


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    #69
    jabarrett35
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭jabarrett35


    hotbabe1992 wrote: »
    Yeah i would agree its like toying with fire,would you put your hand back on the fire if you knew you were going to get burned?

    You have to look at this with a bit of logic.If this guy treated you like dirt and had you at his back and call for sex and nothing more messed with your head and done all those nasty things just leave it be.

    Better off free of that nonsense.Its all the way you look at it.

    Maybe deep down its a confidence issue,if you have a low opinion of yourself or very low self esteem you will fall into these traps with low down greasy sleazy types of men.

    There hasn't been sex for a long time I'm just a "friend" now! I'm at his beck and call with no reward. My best friend keeps telling me he's not my friend. I'm begining to believe it now.


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    #70
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,053 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    jabarrett35 wrote: »
    There hasn't been sex for a long time I'm just a "friend" now! I'm at his beck and call with no reward. My best friend keeps telling me he's not my friend. I'm begining to believe it now.

    Seriously - why continue this at all?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #71
    Moi78
    Registered Users Posts: 32 ✭Moi78


    Ok this might sound odd.... I dated a guy from the midlands too and he also works from home so I wouldnt be surprised if its the same guy, anyway he loved calling himself a beast and is a total top, he is also very proud in himself and I had my doubts in him regarding his ways which he then said it was all also in my head. I soon called it off and tbh it wasnt nice the way we parted, but its for the best, now I know for a fact I couldnt ever be with someone like him again

    Why I think its the same guy is that your story sounds so similar to mine, he told me he could never be in an open relationship and he contradicted himself over and over again, so I had doubts in him right from the start, but he had his way cuddling, holding, kissing me telling me no other guy made him feel the way I did, he also kept telling me how much he loved me, it was all BS!!

    He is an attractive guy and I refused to see past his looks, but after a while I saw right through him and he started to revolt me to a point that I was starting to think what a fool I was to believe all the crap he told me and I was hurt by it all.
    Thankfully I got over it, but so we all learn and I am actually grateful to have met him, cause now I know that I couldn't ever settle for someone thats not gonna be exclusive to me and tell me how insecure I am after I question him, he was very passive aggressive to me.. telling me many times I was mad and I need to be stronger in myself, cause thats what he finds attractive!

    Anyways like said I am over it, that will never happen again to me, since I was used just for sex and the many empty promises and giving me such false hope, it was unreal.


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    #72
    jabarrett35
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭jabarrett35


    Moi78 wrote: »
    Ok this might sound odd.... I dated a guy from the midlands too and he also works from home so I wouldnt be surprised if its the same guy, anyway he loved calling himself a beast and is a total top, he is also very proud in himself and I had my doubts in him regarding his ways which he then said it was all also in my head. I soon called it off and tbh it wasnt nice the way we parted, but its for the best, now I know for a fact I couldnt ever be with someone like him again

    Why I think its the same guy is that your story sounds so similar to mine, he told me he could never be in an open relationship and he contradicted himself over and over again, so I had doubts in him right from the start, but he had his way cuddling, holding, kissing me telling me no other guy made him feel the way I did, he also kept telling me how much he loved me, it was all BS!!

    He is an attractive guy and I refused to see past his looks, but after a while I saw right through him and he started to revolt me to a point that I was starting to think what a fool I was to believe all the crap he told me and I was hurt by it all.
    Thankfully I got over it, but so we all learn and I am actually grateful to have met him, cause now I know that I couldn't ever settle for someone thats not gonna be exclusive to me and tell me how insecure I am after I question him, he was very passive aggressive to me.. telling me many times I was mad and I need to be stronger in myself, cause thats what he finds attractive!

    Anyways like said I am over it, that will never happen again to me, since I just used me for sex and the many empty promises and giving me such false hope, it was unreal.


    It's a different guy just the same narcissistic personality. Anyway I took the step and told him politely to go play in traffic. I just can't get past him accusing me of theft. I blocked and deleted Grindr. I've not bothered blocking him on my phone as I think he's got the message this time. I just turned of the alter sounds for his texts. So it's done. I feel a bit cruel doing it at this time of year but so be it. I'm sure he wouldn't miss a beat over it! Thanks for the advice all.


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    #73
    AerynSun
    Registered Users Posts: 544 ✭✭✭AerynSun


    jabarrett35 wrote: »
    I feel a bit cruel doing it at this time of year but so be it. I'm sure he wouldn't miss a beat over it! Thanks for the advice all.

    Sure it's a bit cruel of him to be messing with your head at this time of year, and asking if you sent him a Christmas card after everything he's put you through. He should count himself lucky you didn't send him a piece of steaming excrement.

    Fingers crossed for you. Sometimes it really is best to look after your own needs before someone else's.


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    #74
    greeneyes2013
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭greeneyes2013


    AerynSun wrote: »
    Sure it's a bit cruel of him to be messing with your head at this time of year, and asking if you sent him a Christmas card after everything he's put you through. He should count himself lucky you didn't send him a piece of steaming excrement.

    Fingers crossed for you. Sometimes it really is best to look after your own needs before someone else's.



    Job done.. now have a great christmas and start off 2014 with a clean slate .. and stay strong and dont lapse for a minute feeling u could go back into anything with him... spare yourself anymore hurt and drama with an on-off thing.

    Best of luck .


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    #75
    greeneyes2013
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭greeneyes2013


    AerynSun wrote: »
    Sure it's a bit cruel of him to be messing with your head at this time of year, and asking if you sent him a Christmas card after everything he's put you through. He should count himself lucky you didn't send him a piece of steaming excrement.

    Fingers crossed for you. Sometimes it really is best to look after your own needs before someone else's.



    Job done.. now have a great christmas and start off 2014 with a clean slate .. and stay strong and dont lapse for a minute feeling u could go back into anything with him... spare yourself anymore hurt and drama with an on-off thing.

    Best of luck .


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