Are you with me or against me?

Blue Crystal

Not the institution of marriage obviously, but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea that you should have a dream marriage and drop a load of money you dont have on a frivolous day you don't need feeding a crowd of twats you barely like and inviting 3,000 people?

Frosty McSnowballs

Yeah I'm with you OP, and fcuk christenings too! Stupid babies

Insect Overlord

Blue Crystal wrote: »

but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea

You should probably stop reading those magazines...

Santa Cruz

Senor Jingle Balls wrote: »

Yeah I'm with you OP, and fcuk christenings too! Stupid babies

and don't get me started on funerals. People that die are so inconsiderate

Blue Crystal

Insect Overlord wrote: »

You should probably stop reading those magazines...

wank fodder son

looking_around

it's their choice....no?

If I ever do get married, the only people invited will be the "witnesses". so .. 4 people in total .. and a meal out.
No frivolous expenses :P

But like I said it's a choice, if people want to invite hundreds of people and show off, then it's their choice.
I don't see the point of it myself.

Not even sure I'd even bother with the rings >.>

FreshKnickers

All weddings suck.

Except mine.

No exceptions.

OneArt

looking_around wrote: »

it's their choice....no?

If I ever do get married, the only people invited will be the "witnesses". so .. 4 people in total .. and a meal out.
No frivolous expenses :P

But like I said it's a choice, if people want to invite hundreds of people and show off, then it's their choice.
I don't see the point of it myself.

Not even sure I'd even bother with the rings >.>

A meal after? Are you made of money or something? We'll be getting the bus to the registry office and bringing homemade ham sandwiches. Maybe by a bottle of Fanta as a treat instead of bringing water from home.

goz83

Depends really. If you can keep it to around 5k (possible with a crowd of around 80) and don't spend money on really stupid things, or really expensive hotels and a really expensive dress, then it's alright. Thankfully, my wife disliked the idea of spending stupid amounts of money on our wedding. It cost under 10k (I think) in 2006. We used a local hotel that was great and convenient for most people. Had around 80 people and sent money on what we wanted, rather than what everyone else might have thought was "necessary". The whole thing was planned and paid for in less than 5 months. Had a great day!

Sister in law is just recently engaged. I would hate to see that wedding bill. The hotel they have chosen is out of the way for most people and costs €200 per night to stay (without brekky).

It's communions that annoy me....oh...and christenings!!! Sometimes silly money is spent around these occasions.

Sam Kade

Pure money racket with a keeping up with the Jones aspect :mad:
The cost of funerals, undertakers just assume everybody is swimming in money :rolleyes:

MadsL

I'm delighted that friends of ours are getting married in the Caribbean and want us to be there for their big day. We totally planned for that expense.

looking_around

OneArt wrote: »

A meal after? Are you made of money or something? We'll be getting the bus to the registry office and bringing homemade ham sandwiches. Maybe by a bottle of Fanta as a treat instead of bringing water from home.

Well surely it's something worth saving a lil for :pac:

Santa Cruz

OneArt wrote: »

A meal after? Are you made of money or something? We'll be getting the bus to the registry office and bringing homemade ham sandwiches. Maybe by a bottle of Fanta as a treat instead of bringing water from home.

If you pick a day early in the week Fusco's do a 2 for I fish and chip supper.

chicken foot

No - Just because its not to your taste doesnt mean it isnt good. Our wedding was class....spent a load of money, invited a lot of people (190) and wouldnt change a thing. It was the best day of my life without a doubt, ive had two children and whilst their births were amazing, I didnt feel half as glamorous that day and thankfully, i didnt have 190 people watch me do it either

Muise...

My family, my friends and I, we're not the marrying kind. So I've only been asked to two weddings and they were the best of unglamorous eejit-dancing fun.

Mint Aero

Yep

Vincent Vega

I can't say I've ever been overly enthusiastic about events that you're almost obligated to attend simply because you're related to someone and then be expected to contribute to a collective feeling of joy or sorrow, regardless of how you are actually feeling.

Funerals, christenings, weddings. All the same. Built up symbolic events that usually contain a room full of mixed feelings. I prefer to mourn and celebrate in my own way.

As opposed to parties or gigs and the like, where there are no set rules on how one must be supposed to feel or act, and attendance is more optional ie: you won't be thought of any less by not attending.

That's just me though, I guess some people enjoy them

wazky

Are weddings a load of balls?

Only the gay ones.

Femme_Fatale

I love weddings. Getting together with friends, some of whom you might not see often; having a nice meal, big session, getting dressed up, meeting new people for friendship and/or sex - not sure what there is to dislike about such a day. Even going as a +1 I've always had a great day.

Of course there are all those dumb behaviours associated with weddings - some of it from the bride and groom (bride mostly, lets face it) and some of it from the guests. But I've never encountered that personally.

NuckingFacker

My daughter announced a few years back that she was getting married on a beach in Exotic-Land, an 8 hour flight away and with hotels that charge for a night what others charge for a week. I told her to enjoy and take loads of pictures so i could see how it went. If she wants to go full-retard on her wedding day, bang ahead, count me out.

Mine was a tiny do with a 3 day honeymoon as work was flat out and we were broke and needed to make hay when the sun shone.. Pri-feckin-orities. Things were huffy for a while, but people got over it. Far from beaches in Exotic-land she was raised - The Celtic Tiger caused a massive rise in "'cos I'm worth it itus". My own old folks had a registry office and a meal and back to work the next day with a visit to the relatives about a month later for a few days. I'm not a fan of fru-fru weddings.

Banjo String

MadsL wrote: »

I'm delighted that friends of ours are getting married in the Caribbean and want us to be there for their big day. We totally planned for that expense.

I hear you.

Sorrento in Italy for a week last year, the bride and groom decided to head off for a week to "save money on the wedding".

Oh, save you money

Cos I know we had to fork out on flights, hotel for a week, €6 pints, fcuking spending money for the week, and still give them a fcuking wedding present.

Good wedding though. Even if it did cost about 3k between us.

mfceiling

Getting a wedding invite is like getting a summons.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

jimmytwotimes 2013

Yes

Princess day for the ladies I think

shruikan2553

Weddings arent too bad. I just wish people would do something that isnt mass in church-hotel for meal-speeches-band-DJ.

I could go to 5 wedding and not remember which was was which.

lillycool

I'm with you OP, never been married but if/when I do I will not be going for all that rubbish - absolutely no way.
Never wanted it when I was younger and being older now, if it ever happens it would be a small occasion.
A quiet day in lovely private surroundings with great music and only close family and a couple of close friends would suit me fine.

Aineoil

Blue Crystal wrote: »

Not the institution of marriage obviously, but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea that you should have a dream marriage and drop a load of money you dont have on a frivolous day you don't need feeding a crowd of twats you barely like and inviting 3,000 people?

I feel the same way as you. I include christenings too.:D

I got married in 1989. I didn't want to invite the usuals - the ones that thought a china tea set was the best present to give. I had 79 people at my wedding. My parents have never forgiven me for such a small wedding.

My sister's wedding was a great "success" because she had every relative I never knew existed attend and everyone from work too.

Mind you she got great presents.

FreshKnickers

Seriously though, very often with Irish weddings it seems to boil down to the B&G paying a ****ton of money for a simple (so that it will cater to a wider variety of people) menu with a choice of one of two meals and guests paying another load of money to get dolled up, travel, maybe an overnight stay and give the couple a bit of money in a card. Who benefits from all this money? The hotel that holds the reception.

When meself and herself decided we wanted to become Mr. Meself and Mrs. Herself we couldn't afford to spend loads of money throwing a party that people would have to spend loads of money to attend. Luckily Mrs. Knickers didn't care about having a fairy princess day with our nearest and dearest faux-fawning over us.

Gee_G

Blue Crystal wrote: »

Not the institution of marriage obviously, but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea that you should have a dream marriage and drop a load of money you dont have on a frivolous day you don't need feeding a crowd of twats you barely like and inviting 3,000 people?

That's the problem ya see.... spending money ya don't have! If ya can't afford to do it, don't!

Spring Onion

Most weddings are very boring, time consuming and expensive. I doubt many couples really enjoy the 24 hours of their wedding day. I hate getting wedding invites.

Spring Onion

shruikan2553 wrote: »

I could go to 5 wedding and not remember which was was which.

That's it exactly - you rarely remember or distinguish most weddings unless they were truly unique. Small family weddings (<40 people) can be much more memorable.

Witchie

I got married in Barbados and it was just himself and meself. My parents threw a party when we came back. We got the rest of the money that my parents would have had to spend on a wedding as a deposit on our house.

My brother got married in spain. A week in the sun with 60 people. Amazing week and coz it was in the Costa del Sol it didnt costa too much for everyone to go.

My younger brother is marrying a Thai girl so a big trip to Thailand is on the cards but it will be worth it.

My sister wants to get married abroad too or at least have a small 80 people type wedding with maybe a party another night for all the relatives and neighbours that my mum thinks should be invited.

I love weddings but really not that fond of the traditional Irish wedding and despite loving her dearly and being excited to be bridesmaid I am a bit disappointed in my best mate who is getting married in August coz its a paint by numbers affair. She may go a little outside the lines or throw in a different colour but to me it looks pretty much the same as any other wedding I have been to.

If I was to do it again I probably would go down the small family wedding route and maybe an afterparty again.

deseil

My wedding was a meal for family and then a major pissup with friends and honeymoon was a backpack around Europe nothing booked a flight to Amsterdam and then stayed here and there for a few days as we liked. Twas great everyone still says it was the best wedding they were at. Cost about €2000. Would love to do it again

goz83

Witchie wrote: »

I got married in Barbados and it was just himself and meself. My parents threw a party when we came back. We got the rest of the money that my parents would have had to spend on a wedding as a deposit on our house.

.

I don't get this. Why is it that some people think it is the parents (usually of the bride) responsibility to foot the wedding bill? And in this case, because they didn't, it was taken/given anyway for a house deposit?

My inlaws offered to pay for the wedding. I wouldn't have it, so I went out and got myself a better paying job (sales, commission) and paid, with my wife the bill for the wedding before the big day. And we only had a few months to do that. The inlaws helped, but I couldn't allow someone else to pay thousands of euros for my wedding. I figure they help us out in plenty of other ways and I don't mean deposits for houses either.

Killer Wench

I can't speak for weddings in Ireland, but it seems many are out of control here. Especially when you consider that divorce rate is 40-50% for first marriages and about 60% for second marriages, I'd think we'd throw more money into pre-marriage counseling rather than putting a second mortgage on your house so that you can keep up with the Jones's wedding.

People talk about Christmas being the epitome of our self-entitled ways, but I really think that weddings really highlight those ways more effectively than Christmas.

RikkFlair

Sure where else will you get all the lads rolling their pants up over the knees, tying their ties around their heads and air-guitaring to AC/DC.

MadYaker

I love weddings. Food, family and drinking what could be better. I got the ride at the last wedding I was at too.

Jimmy Garlic

MadsL wrote: »

I'm delighted that friends of ours are getting married in the Caribbean and want us to be there for their big day. We totally planned for that expense.

You are a bigger fool if you fork out for that.

sligoface

I hate weddings, never want to go to another one. Luckily most of my friends and family are likely to be left on the shelf for a long time, they're all ugly and/or crazy.

Jimmy Garlic

A lot of weddings are a load of aul bollox. I am groomsman at a wedding next july. The bride and groom are getting into debt to to the tune of 30 grand for a pretentious load of useless crap so the bride can act out her princess fantasy.

Red Kev

I don't get the big weddings here in "paint by numbers" style as somebody said.

Neither do I get the obligation to fly to Barbados or somewhere for a wedding, if I didn't want to go for any reasons, financial or otherwise I would just tell the B&G that. My cousin got married in Italy last year, would havee cost me and the GF €2000 to go there, we might have done it if we could have a holiday there afterwards but it was February so we just didn't bother.

I organised a wedding for some frineds a couple of years ago, registry office, had a Bar-B-Q buffet with food from 4 different countries on it, grilled a lamb and a piglet, organised an ice cream van, got a couple of bands (rock n' roll and a trad one) and a marquee for the weekend. This includes a party on Sunday and Monday. 180 people showed up, everybody got a glass of sparkling wine and a couple of drinks, after that pints were €2.50.

Seriously great party for three days, Sat, Sun & a June Bank Holiday Monday. 180 people showed up over the weekend, stayed in B&B's, hotels and some camped in tents (!) i think the total bill was €7000 which is great value for something like that. Very memorable, people still talk about it and remember it.

murphydublin

We got hitched a few weeks back, 40 close family and friends, meal in a restaurant with 3 options On courses wedding cake as dessert and into the bar where there was live music On anyway. 2 k spent max and as we were only in ballsbridge people could go home if they wanted. No need for mad money being spent people raved at how great it was not to be a long drawn out traditional day

jester77

Blue Crystal wrote: »

Not the institution of marriage obviously, but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea that you should have a dream marriage and drop a load of money you dont have on a frivolous day you don't need feeding a crowd of twats you barely like and inviting 3,000 people?

It seems to be an Irish thing, most weddings I've been to outside of Ireland have been throughly enjoyable, personal and nothing like your over priced beef/salmon, dessert, clear the floors, cheesy music and disco nonsense that you get at most Irish weddings.

anncoates

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

A lot of weddings are a load of aul bollox. I am groomsman at a wedding next july. The bride and groom are getting into debt to to the tune of 30 grand for a pretentious load of useless crap so the bride can act out her princess fantasy.

So you're ridiculing another poster for going to a Caribbean wedding when they actually want to go, yet you're being groomsman at a wedding you don't want to go to, even to the extent of bitching about them behind their back.

PizzamanIRL

Got an invite to my friends wedding in Las Vegas but you have to pay your own way. That's taking the absolute piss.

Oh yeah sure I'm gonna fly to Vegas to watch you two tie the knot and never see you again for ages.

Jimmy Garlic

anncoates wrote: »

So you're ridiculing another poster for going to a Caribbean wedding when they actually want to go, yet you're being groomsman at a wedding you don't want to go to, even to the extent of bitching about them behind their back.

I am not ridiculing anyone. Expecting someone to go to the Caribbean for a wedding is ridiculous. I think you should read that posters post again, there is more than a hint of sarcasm in it.

Yeah, I am groomsman at a friends extravagant wedding (that he can't afford). At least it is only 30 miles down the road. Would I go if it was in the feckin Caribbean? not a chance. I have more important things to spend my money on.

Addle

Killer Wench wrote: »

I can't speak for weddings in Ireland, but it seems many are out of control here. Especially when you consider that divorce rate is 40-50% for first marriages and about 60% for second marriages, I'd think we'd throw more money into pre-marriage counseling rather than putting a second mortgage on your house so that you can keep up with the Jones's wedding
.

Where are these statistics from?

anncoates

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

I am not ridiculing anyone. Expecting someone to go to the Caribbean for a wedding is ridiculous. I think you should read that posters post again, there is more than a hint of sarcasm in it.

Assumed it was serious. If not, fair enough.

Don't really see the issue with weddings. Just make an excuse and don't go if you don't want to. No use going and ranting about it to everyone else .

Fighting Irish

Blue Crystal wrote: »

Not the institution of marriage obviously, but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea that you should have a dream marriage and drop a load of money you dont have on a frivolous day you don't need feeding a crowd of twats you barely like and inviting 3,000 people?

It's all bollix really

goz83

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Got an invite to my friends wedding in Las Vegas but you have to pay your own way. That's taking the absolute piss.

Oh yeah sure I'm gonna fly to Vegas to watch you two tie the knot and never see you again for ages.

Nice to get the invite, but they obviously don't expect more than a small number to go. They're hardly going to fly you over and feed you. I think weddings outside of Ireland are a great idea. Invite people, find out who is or is not going and keep the costs down. Make it an optional holiday for people in a decent place and you will have people going if the price is not crazy. Considered this myself, but opted to stay local.

Addle wrote: »

Where are these statistics from?

From outside of Ireland, as the poster suggested. Assuming the USA.


Thinking of my friends wedding, it was the cheapest wedding I have known in recent times, but it was exactly what was needed. About 30 people attended and I was best man. There was a brides maid too. I wore my own suit, so no expense there. Registry office. Family owned Merc for the Bride and a regular transport for the Groom. A visit to the botanic gardens, where I took the wedding photos and then a meal at the Hilton for about 20 of us. Money was tight, but it was certainly better than spending 30k on bells and whistles.

Funny. I was just invited to a cousins wedding afters in 2 weeks time. You know when you're important I guess

Spring Onion

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

A lot of weddings are a load of aul bollox. I am groomsman at a wedding next july. The bride and groom are getting into debt to to the tune of 30 grand for a pretentious load of useless crap so the bride can act out her princess fantasy.

For say 15 hours of fantasy, that's €2000 an hour. And it will feel like 3 hours.