Are you with me or against me?

Witchie · 30-11-2013 10:37PM

I got married in Barbados and it was just himself and meself. My parents threw a party when we came back. We got the rest of the money that my parents would have had to spend on a wedding as a deposit on our house.

My brother got married in spain. A week in the sun with 60 people. Amazing week and coz it was in the Costa del Sol it didnt costa too much for everyone to go.

My younger brother is marrying a Thai girl so a big trip to Thailand is on the cards but it will be worth it.

My sister wants to get married abroad too or at least have a small 80 people type wedding with maybe a party another night for all the relatives and neighbours that my mum thinks should be invited.

I love weddings but really not that fond of the traditional Irish wedding and despite loving her dearly and being excited to be bridesmaid I am a bit disappointed in my best mate who is getting married in August coz its a paint by numbers affair. She may go a little outside the lines or throw in a different colour but to me it looks pretty much the same as any other wedding I have been to.

If I was to do it again I probably would go down the small family wedding route and maybe an afterparty again.

deseil · 30-11-2013 10:37PM

My wedding was a meal for family and then a major pissup with friends and honeymoon was a backpack around Europe nothing booked a flight to Amsterdam and then stayed here and there for a few days as we liked. Twas great everyone still says it was the best wedding they were at. Cost about €2000. Would love to do it again

goz83 · 01-12-2013 05:41PM

Witchie wrote: »

I got married in Barbados and it was just himself and meself. My parents threw a party when we came back. We got the rest of the money that my parents would have had to spend on a wedding as a deposit on our house.

.

I don't get this. Why is it that some people think it is the parents (usually of the bride) responsibility to foot the wedding bill? And in this case, because they didn't, it was taken/given anyway for a house deposit?

My inlaws offered to pay for the wedding. I wouldn't have it, so I went out and got myself a better paying job (sales, commission) and paid, with my wife the bill for the wedding before the big day. And we only had a few months to do that. The inlaws helped, but I couldn't allow someone else to pay thousands of euros for my wedding. I figure they help us out in plenty of other ways and I don't mean deposits for houses either.

Killer Wench · 01-12-2013 05:52PM

I can't speak for weddings in Ireland, but it seems many are out of control here. Especially when you consider that divorce rate is 40-50% for first marriages and about 60% for second marriages, I'd think we'd throw more money into pre-marriage counseling rather than putting a second mortgage on your house so that you can keep up with the Jones's wedding.

People talk about Christmas being the epitome of our self-entitled ways, but I really think that weddings really highlight those ways more effectively than Christmas.

RikkFlair · 01-12-2013 05:54PM

Sure where else will you get all the lads rolling their pants up over the knees, tying their ties around their heads and air-guitaring to AC/DC.

MadYaker · 01-12-2013 06:21PM

I love weddings. Food, family and drinking what could be better. I got the ride at the last wedding I was at too.

Jimmy Garlic · 01-12-2013 06:25PM

MadsL wrote: »

I'm delighted that friends of ours are getting married in the Caribbean and want us to be there for their big day. We totally planned for that expense.

You are a bigger fool if you fork out for that.

sligoface · 01-12-2013 06:31PM

I hate weddings, never want to go to another one. Luckily most of my friends and family are likely to be left on the shelf for a long time, they're all ugly and/or crazy.

Jimmy Garlic · 01-12-2013 06:32PM

A lot of weddings are a load of aul bollox. I am groomsman at a wedding next july. The bride and groom are getting into debt to to the tune of 30 grand for a pretentious load of useless crap so the bride can act out her princess fantasy.

Red Kev · 01-12-2013 06:39PM

I don't get the big weddings here in "paint by numbers" style as somebody said.

Neither do I get the obligation to fly to Barbados or somewhere for a wedding, if I didn't want to go for any reasons, financial or otherwise I would just tell the B&G that. My cousin got married in Italy last year, would havee cost me and the GF €2000 to go there, we might have done it if we could have a holiday there afterwards but it was February so we just didn't bother.

I organised a wedding for some frineds a couple of years ago, registry office, had a Bar-B-Q buffet with food from 4 different countries on it, grilled a lamb and a piglet, organised an ice cream van, got a couple of bands (rock n' roll and a trad one) and a marquee for the weekend. This includes a party on Sunday and Monday. 180 people showed up, everybody got a glass of sparkling wine and a couple of drinks, after that pints were €2.50.

Seriously great party for three days, Sat, Sun & a June Bank Holiday Monday. 180 people showed up over the weekend, stayed in B&B's, hotels and some camped in tents (!) i think the total bill was €7000 which is great value for something like that. Very memorable, people still talk about it and remember it.

murphydublin · 01-12-2013 06:41PM

We got hitched a few weeks back, 40 close family and friends, meal in a restaurant with 3 options On courses wedding cake as dessert and into the bar where there was live music On anyway. 2 k spent max and as we were only in ballsbridge people could go home if they wanted. No need for mad money being spent

people raved at how great it was not to be a long drawn out traditional day

jester77 · 01-12-2013 06:46PM

Blue Crystal wrote: »

Not the institution of marriage obviously, but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea that you should have a dream marriage and drop a load of money you dont have on a frivolous day you don't need feeding a crowd of twats you barely like and inviting 3,000 people?

It seems to be an Irish thing, most weddings I've been to outside of Ireland have been throughly enjoyable, personal and nothing like your over priced beef/salmon, dessert, clear the floors, cheesy music and disco nonsense that you get at most Irish weddings.

anncoates · 01-12-2013 06:50PM

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

A lot of weddings are a load of aul bollox. I am groomsman at a wedding next july. The bride and groom are getting into debt to to the tune of 30 grand for a pretentious load of useless crap so the bride can act out her princess fantasy.

So you're ridiculing another poster for going to a Caribbean wedding when they actually want to go, yet you're being groomsman at a wedding you don't want to go to, even to the extent of bitching about them behind their back.

PizzamanIRL · 01-12-2013 06:54PM

Got an invite to my friends wedding in Las Vegas but you have to pay your own way. That's taking the absolute piss.

Oh yeah sure I'm gonna fly to Vegas to watch you two tie the knot and never see you again for ages.

Jimmy Garlic · 01-12-2013 07:06PM

anncoates wrote: »

So you're ridiculing another poster for going to a Caribbean wedding when they actually want to go, yet you're being groomsman at a wedding you don't want to go to, even to the extent of bitching about them behind their back.

I am not ridiculing anyone. Expecting someone to go to the Caribbean for a wedding is ridiculous. I think you should read that posters post again, there is more than a hint of sarcasm in it.

Yeah, I am groomsman at a friends extravagant wedding (that he can't afford). At least it is only 30 miles down the road. Would I go if it was in the feckin Caribbean? not a chance. I have more important things to spend my money on.

Addle · 01-12-2013 07:12PM

Killer Wench wrote: »

I can't speak for weddings in Ireland, but it seems many are out of control here. Especially when you consider that divorce rate is 40-50% for first marriages and about 60% for second marriages, I'd think we'd throw more money into pre-marriage counseling rather than putting a second mortgage on your house so that you can keep up with the Jones's wedding
.

Where are these statistics from?

anncoates · 01-12-2013 07:13PM

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

I am not ridiculing anyone. Expecting someone to go to the Caribbean for a wedding is ridiculous. I think you should read that posters post again, there is more than a hint of sarcasm in it.

Assumed it was serious. If not, fair enough.

Don't really see the issue with weddings. Just make an excuse and don't go if you don't want to. No use going and ranting about it to everyone else .

Fighting Irish · 01-12-2013 07:20PM

Blue Crystal wrote: »

Not the institution of marriage obviously, but the cosmo/kiss/insert teen girl magazine here idea that you should have a dream marriage and drop a load of money you dont have on a frivolous day you don't need feeding a crowd of twats you barely like and inviting 3,000 people?

It's all bollix really

goz83 · 01-12-2013 07:54PM

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Got an invite to my friends wedding in Las Vegas but you have to pay your own way. That's taking the absolute piss.

Oh yeah sure I'm gonna fly to Vegas to watch you two tie the knot and never see you again for ages.

Nice to get the invite, but they obviously don't expect more than a small number to go. They're hardly going to fly you over and feed you. I think weddings outside of Ireland are a great idea. Invite people, find out who is or is not going and keep the costs down. Make it an optional holiday for people in a decent place and you will have people going if the price is not crazy. Considered this myself, but opted to stay local.

Addle wrote: »

Where are these statistics from?

From outside of Ireland, as the poster suggested. Assuming the USA.

Thinking of my friends wedding, it was the cheapest wedding I have known in recent times, but it was exactly what was needed. About 30 people attended and I was best man. There was a brides maid too. I wore my own suit, so no expense there. Registry office. Family owned Merc for the Bride and a regular transport for the Groom. A visit to the botanic gardens, where I took the wedding photos and then a meal at the Hilton for about 20 of us. Money was tight, but it was certainly better than spending 30k on bells and whistles.

Funny. I was just invited to a cousins wedding afters in 2 weeks time. You know when you're important I guess

Spring Onion · 01-12-2013 07:56PM

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

A lot of weddings are a load of aul bollox. I am groomsman at a wedding next july. The bride and groom are getting into debt to to the tune of 30 grand for a pretentious load of useless crap so the bride can act out her princess fantasy.

For say 15 hours of fantasy, that's €2000 an hour. And it will feel like 3 hours.

Bananatop · 01-12-2013 08:01PM

I'm getting married next year and ye're all invited :P

It'll be a nice change to see family and friends all at the same time and not one of them in a coffin (unless I go for a goth theme)

Daveysil15 · 01-12-2013 08:11PM

Irish weddings are incredibly cringy. The Republic Of Telly summed it up best:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzKfcaKCevk

Cunning Stunt · 01-12-2013 08:12PM

I always wanted a big bash for our wedding, loads of guests etc. but a tragic event in our lives caused us to realize that the big party etc. is not important.

So in the end we got married in the local registry office, with just the obligatory two witnesses (his parents). A 20 minute ceremony at the most.

Then the 4 of us headed over the road to the local hotel for a nice lunch, with a good bottle of wine.

His parents went home in the evening and we had a cozy wedding night in with a pizza

And I don't regret it one bit!

Blue Crystal · 01-12-2013 08:13PM

Witchie wrote: »

My younger brother is marrying a Thai girl so a big trip to Thailand is on the cards but it will be worth it.

You sure?

.jacksparrow. · 01-12-2013 08:15PM

Jaysus some people really have little to worry about in life.

Witchie · 03-12-2013 09:17PM

goz83 wrote: »

I don't get this. Why is it that some people think it is the parents (usually of the bride) responsibility to foot the wedding bill? And in this case, because they didn't, it was taken/given anyway for a house deposit?

My inlaws offered to pay for the wedding. I wouldn't have it, so I went out and got myself a better paying job (sales, commission) and paid, with my wife the bill for the wedding before the big day. And we only had a few months to do that. The inlaws helped, but I couldn't allow someone else to pay thousands of euros for my wedding. I figure they help us out in plenty of other ways and I don't mean deposits for houses either.

We were both 20 and just out of college and had planned on saving and getting married in Jamaica the following year but then I found out I was pregnant and decided to bring the wedding forward to save complicated birth certs etc when our son was born. My parents had previously given my brother a deposit for his house and had told me that when the time came I would get the same or a big wedding if that is what I wanted.

I didn't want the big wedding and the house was a more practical option with a babbby on the way.

My parents were quite well off back then and always maintained that they would rather give us kids a "start" in life rather than leave a big inheritance for us to fight over when we would probably be more sorted in life.

Anyway back in the early 90's it was still generally the parents that were forking out for a wedding so it wasnt that unusual.

Blue Crystal wrote: »

You sure?

Oi leave her alone. She is a wee doll.

Blue Crystal · 07-12-2013 08:19PM

Witchie wrote: »

Oi leave her alone. She is a wee doll.

You sure shes not an Action Man?

kowloon · 07-12-2013 09:05PM

OneArt wrote: »

A meal after? Are you made of money or something? We'll be getting the bus to the registry office and bringing homemade ham sandwiches. Maybe by a bottle of Fanta as a treat instead of bringing water from home.

Fancy fcuker with your meat! :mad:

Splat Strawberry Jam · 08-12-2013 02:24AM

Every wedding i go to i always marvel at regular people i know who seem to bask in being centre of attention for the day. I cant understand it. It makes me cringe. Cringing now at that wedding party entrance thing they do once everyone has a starter. Christ it's ghey

Healy Rae Permit Holder · 08-12-2013 02:27AM

Splat Strawberry Jam wrote: »

Every wedding i go to i always marvel at regular people i know who seem to bask in being centre of attention for the day. I cant understand it. It makes me cringe. Cringing now at that wedding party entrance thing they do once everyone has a starter. Christ it's ghey

It is their day like.

Are you with me or against me?

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