Bullying at school

timthumbni

Just interested peoples' experience of bullying at school. It was something I rarely experienced personally as I was probably a few years up when it came to size.

The one major incident I had was nothing of my fault, just someone older looking to act the tube. For a few short weeks it was horrific. I was afraid, very afraid. Many years later I still await for him. Like jaws.

I did witness many examples of bullying though. And sometimes it went on for years. I wonder how these people coped with such extended torture. When older in school I stopped a few cases of fellow year mates bullying younger ones as well. I never understood why someone who was 2 or 3 years older trying to act the hard man over a the younger fella. At that age that is a huge gap. Like mike Tyson against a flyweight Ffs.

On the bright side I witnessed personally a few years back one of the wee bullied fellas (who had since grown into a monster) rightfully take apart his bully (who was a good few years older and still counted as a hard man)

The Dom

The root cause of the vast majority of bullying that happens in schools is down to how these kids are raised and the standards that their parents hold them to.

Just reading there earlier how some poor kid in the UK was constantly picked on and bullied for having red hair and ended up hanging himself.

A boy of 14 hanged himself from his own bunk bed after being bullied by classmates for being ginger, an inquest heard.

Simon Walters’s distraught father Nigel said his son had been physically attacked and suffered cruel jibes because of his bushy red hair – he had even dyed it brown in an attempt to stop the abuse.

Mr Walters had said he would always text his son from work to tell him he loved him but on the night of Simon’s death he was too busy and never sent the message.

Describing the moment he discovered his son’s death, night-shift warehouse worker Mr Walters said: ‘It was 4.15am when I got home.

‘Simon’s music was blaring and his lights were still on, so I went upstairs to tell him to go to bed.

‘He was hanging from his bed. I ran downstairs screaming – I could not believe it. I was in shock.’

Mr Walters, 42, had contacted teachers at Heath Park School, in Wolverhampton, in May last year, after his son begged him to ‘sort the matter’.

Simon was found dead at the home he shared with father on October 25 last year. Police discovered he had researched suicide techniques on the internet.

‘Simon used to be a jolly lad,’ Mr Walters told an inquest hearing. ‘He was very withdrawn towards the end. He would shut himself in his room.’

Recording a verdict of suicide, Black Country coroner Robin Balmain said there was no evidence of bullying at the school.

‘This is a tragedy for the family and also for Simon’s friends,’ he said.

timthumbni

The Dom wrote: »

The root cause of the vast majority of bullying that happens in schools is down to how these kids are raised and the standards that their parents hold them to.

Just reading there earlier how some poor kid in the UK was constantly picked on and bullied for having red hair and ended up hanging himself.

Jaysus. That is horrific. I know how I felt mentally after a few weeks of bullying (albeit more physical than mental)

Kylo Ren

I posted this over a year ago.

Keno wrote: »

Haven't told this many times to people.

Mine wasn't the teacher but the principle. I lived with my uncle and aunt most of my life (not going to get into why, for the time being anyway) I moved to a new school shortly after I turned eleven. It was absolute hell. A particular group of lads had it out for me from day one. Started with making fun of me (I was a pretty easy target to be fair, having glasses and all that) then threats and it eventually turned violent in the latter years. I made a couple of friends throughout my time there, still friends to this day, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyway, the principle. He was an absolute god send. I wouldn't of finished school if it wasn't for him. He was an old chap by the time I got there. Big massive beard on him , looked harmless but had a real presence about him. Any problem I ever had he was always there for me.

Thanks Mr. Dumbledore.

Gatling

Had it daily for 6 years straight in secondary school ,
Just had to put up with it after making multiple reports to tutors ,year heads and so on nothing was ever done about , I actually got a two week suspension after getting jumped by 5 lads in a class room the teacher claimed i started it ,
Lost all faith in teachers after that ,

Still to this day nearly 20 years later still can't talk to anybody or let people in ,
Got a beautiful partner and 2 amazing kids ,and yet she doesn't understand why I refuse to thrust anybody with problems or general stuff ,

dodderangler

Gatling wrote: »

Had it daily for 6 years straight in secondary school ,
Just had to put up with it after making multiple reports to tutors ,year heads and so on nothing was ever done about , I actually got a two week suspension after getting jumped by 5 lads in a class room the teacher claimed i started it ,
Lost all faith in teachers after that ,

Still to this day nearly 20 years later still can't talk to anybody or let people in ,
Got a beautiful partner and 2 amazing kids ,and yet she doesn't understand why I refuse to thrust anybody with problems or general stuff ,

No offence mate but grow a pair now and teach your kids to not accept bullying and stand up for themselves.

endacl

dodderangler wrote: »

No offence mate but grow a pair now and teach your kids to not accept bullying and stand up for themselves.

Seriously?

dodderangler

endacl wrote: »

Seriously?

Yes seriously!!!

endacl

dodderangler wrote: »

Yes seriously!!!

That's the 'advice' you offer to somebody who has related a story of an extended period of physical and psychological abuse, and by his own account has suffered since as a result? And who at no point indicated that his children might be in need of such advice?

Perhaps its you needs to 'grow a pair'. Of hemispheres. That'd be one for each side of your cranium.

Festy

dodderangler wrote: »

No offence mate but grow a pair now and teach your kids to not accept bullying and stand up for themselves.

Pure ignorance

cerastes

dodderangler wrote: »

No offence mate but grow a pair now and teach your kids to not accept bullying and stand up for themselves.

Could it really be that easy? just like that
wow, just fcuking wow

timthumbni

dodderangler wrote: »

No offence mate but grow a pair now and teach your kids to not accept bullying and stand up for themselves.

Listen, it's not as easy as that. As I said I was one of the biggest strongest fellas in my year but I was still bullied albeit not for long by a an older fella. It's easy to say stand up for yourself but not as easy to carry out in real life.

I saw weaker looking fellas being tortured for years. I was a mess after a few weeks bullying. I would say bullying is hard to understand unless you have experienced it.

There's a big difference physically between a 16 yr old and a 12 yr old. Huge. And that's before we go into mental bullying.

Gmol

dodderangler wrote: »

No offence mate but grow a pair now and teach your kids to not accept bullying and stand up for themselves.

That advice is patronising for a person suffering from long term effects of bullying

Seachmall

I was bullied in 4th class in primary school by a guy in 5th class. It was a bit **** and i didn't go into school for a week or two because of it. Despite having family ties to some teachers and the principal they never did anything about it. Near the end of the year my best friend at the time and myself jumped the guy a knocked him around with hurleys.

A year or two later I met the bully and confronted him on it, he pinned me to the ground, held a fag above my eye and told me he'd blind me if I didn't apologise.

That was over a decade ago and I've moved on, although I still see him around town.

In secondary school I pretty much kept to myself, had a few fights but nothing that would constitute bullying.

Arawn

Got bullied from 8- 12. Stopped when I started fighting back, 1 guy jocked me, hit him, picked him up and gave him a legit tombstone, cracked another guy the next week.

Went to secondry school, Grew fast and big in between ending primary and starting secondary, suddenly bullies weren interested in me and the new new ones learned quickly that I'd fight back and viciously. Had 7 fights in secondary school, walked away smiling from them all.

Gmol

Gatling wrote: »

Had it daily for 6 years straight in secondary school ,
Just had to put up with it after making multiple reports to tutors ,year heads and so on nothing was ever done about , I actually got a two week suspension after getting jumped by 5 lads in a class room the teacher claimed i started it ,
Lost all faith in teachers after that ,

Still to this day nearly 20 years later still can't talk to anybody or let people in ,
Got a beautiful partner and 2 amazing kids ,and yet she doesn't understand why I refuse to thrust anybody with problems or general stuff ,

Sorry to hear of your experience, have you looked into counseling it might help. Best of luck, I wish you well.

Birneybau

Arawn wrote: »

Got bullied from 8- 12. Stopped when I started fighting back, 1 guy jocked me, hit him, picked him up and gave him a legit tombstone, cracked another guy the next week.

Went to secondry school, Grew fast and big in between ending primary and starting secondary, suddenly bullies weren interested in me and the new new ones learned quickly that I'd fight back and viciously. Had 7 fights in secondary school, walked away smiling from them all.

Oh, of course you did.

I actually clothes lined a bully in my school, gave him a Stone Sold Stunner and finished with the people's elbow.

dodderangler

Arawn wrote: »

Got bullied from 8- 12. Stopped when I started fighting back, 1 guy jocked me, hit him, picked him up and gave him a legit tombstone, cracked another guy the next week.

Went to secondry school, Grew fast and big in between ending primary and starting secondary, suddenly bullies weren interested in me and the new new ones learned quickly that I'd fight back and viciously. Had 7 fights in secondary school, walked away smiling from them all.

Exactly. Same that happened to me. I was bullied over my ears and that went on for a long time but I grew up. Didn't happen over night but I did it and I certainly don't live in fear or anything like that. Gotta be proud t stand up for yourself and not take sh1t anymore. And I certainly don't want my child or any future children to grow up and go thru what I went through.

dodderangler

Birneybau wrote: »

Oh, of course you did.

I actually clothes lined a bully in my school, gave him a Stone Sold Stunner and finished with the people's elbow.

Guess he smelled what you were cooking.

The Dom

dodderangler wrote: »

Exactly. Same that happened to me. I was bullied over my ears and that went on for a long time but I grew up. Didn't happen over night but I did it and I certainly don't live in fear or anything like that. Gotta be proud t stand up for yourself and not take sh1t anymore. And I certainly don't want my child or any future children to grow up and go thru what I went through.

So if one of your kids gots jumped by five lads and the teachers and tutors failed to act, what advice precisely would you give him?

Other than "grow a pair" I mean.

dodderangler

The Dom wrote: »

So if your kid gets jumped by five lads and the teachers and tutors fail to act, what advice precisely would you give him?

5 lads??
That's not bullying. That's a proper group assault and thus a matter for the Garda. But one on one stand your ground and fight back. Either get beat or beat them. Either way move on.
I stood up to my bullies and didn't win em all but they didn't come near me again.
It's almost as if they'll back off if you stand up. Maybe they respect you I don't know but I don't think I ever fought same bully twice

timthumbni

dodderangler wrote: »

Guess he smelled what you were cooking.

Dodderangler - I accept that in certain limited situations standing up physically against a bully or bullies may be possible and in fact advisable. I used it myself the odd time.

Unfortunately in the real world and away from Hollywood films it doesn't quite work out like that. Often a group of big lads bully younger ones and fighting back is rewarded with a beating. That's how bullying works. And that's not even touching on the group bullying you can get amongst kids bullying other kids of the same age just for being ginger etc.

Cupcake_Crisis

I was bullied something fierce in primary and early secondary school. I would have been a fairly easy target as I generally just kept myself to myself, never bothered anyone. When I was in senior infants, a group of girls, who would have been in 2nd class, decided I was worth their time and set about making my life miserable. I never said a word about it to anyone under threat. It all ended when one day one girl in particular followed me around the yard, so it looked like she was playing with me, but was actually pinching and hitting me. That night while I was getting ready for bed my mam noticed I was covered in bruises, pretty much from head to toe, I told her what had been happening the best a 5 year old could and she sobbed, literally sobbed. She marched me down to the girls house, showed her mother how badly bruised I was and she just said 'Oh no, my daughter wouldn't do that' without even confronting her and had nothing more of it. Teachers eventually got the truth out one of the girls who apparently felt guilty, but never a whisper of an apology from the woman who basically called a 5 year old a liar.

Said girl now spends her time popping in and out of prison so.... I win.

dodderangler

timthumbni wrote: »

Dodderangler - I accept that in certain limited situations standing up physically against a bully or bullies may be possible and in fact advisable. I used it myself the odd time.

Unfortunately in the real world and away from Hollywood films it doesn't quite work out like that. Often a group of big lads bully younger ones and fighting back is rewarded with a beating. That's how bullying works. And that's not even touching on the group bullying you can get amongst kids bullying other kids of the same age just for being ginger etc.

Here's the way I seem it.
Would you rather
1. Have a bully constantly bully you and not do anything bout it and be picked on and maybe take the beatings still doing nothing
Or
2. Stand up for yourself and fight back and either get beaten up or beat him up but know that you done something about it.

HansHolzel

In my experience, long ago, if you resist a bully you will normally get a pasting but the key point is to get in at least one good 'impact' first and the bully will remember your capability to do just that. It's usually enough to stop it.

The fag over the eye story by another poster is scary enough but then again, according to the story, the cünt only asked for an apology (!) so something had been achieved with those hurleys!

I was bullied all through school and it had a severe impact on me. The vast majority of it was verbal but even that is a nightmare. I was very quiet, didn't really talk to anyone, and didn't really have any friends at the time. Also, if someone did start on me I'd give them the reaction they wanted. So I was an easy target.

I don't remember it but my dad told me that I once came home from primary school crying and told him that I wished I was dead. I didn't go to college because of the bullying, out of fear that it would follow me in, and it made me very cautious and afraid of people; especially other males. I get on better with women because for the most part they left me alone. It has only been in the last two years that I've managed to let my guard down a little.

Arawn

Birneybau wrote: »

Oh, of course you did.

I actually clothes lined a bully in my school, gave him a Stone Sold Stunner and finished with the people's elbow.

Actually did,I Was quite lucky he was just dazed and that I didn't break his neck

The Dom

dodderangler wrote: »

5 lads??

Yeah, 5 lads. Why the question mark?

You act as if that's the first time this has been said but the guy you told to "grow a pair" said it in the very post that you replied to.

That's not bullying. That's a proper group assault and thus a matter for the Garda.

It may also be a group assault but it is still bullying if and when it is carried out as part of an ongoing pattern of physical and mental abuse.

But one on one stand your ground and fight back. Either get beat or beat them. Either way move on.

And if they are bigger and keep on doing it and doing it and get their mates to join in, as was the case with the guy you suggested had no balls?

I stood up to my bullies and didn't win em all but they didn't come near me again.

Good for you, but not everyone is that lucky. Sometimes they don't stop and make people's lives living hell for years.

I got a rock a split open a guy who used to bully me and for the next three years him and his mates waited for me and followed me and as often as they could, would knock the fcuk out of me. Lost count of how many school uniforms I went through from them being ripped apart.

It's almost as if they'll back off if you stand up. Maybe they respect you I don't know but I don't think I ever fought same bully twice

As I said, if someone is lucky, sure - it may work but for some it doesn't.

There are some persistent little cnuts out there and almost nothing works with them no matter how big your testicles might be.

sea_monkey

My older brother got bullied pretty much constantly which for some reason meant everyone else thought they could bully me also, i was always quick with my fists so it always stopped pretty quick. People always say just stand up for yourself and sure that does stop it, but it doesnt just magically get rid of the fact that it happened in the first place.

Why do people do it? I have no idea. I would like to see a lot more discipline being allowed by people other than parents. If you are in school then you should be disciplined according to the schools set rules, not whatever you get away with at home.

Arawn

dodderangler wrote: »

5 lads??
That's not bullying. That's a proper group assault and thus a matter for the Garda. But one on one stand your ground and fight back. Either get beat or beat them. Either way move on.
I stood up to my bullies and didn't win em all but they didn't come near me again.
It's almost as if they'll back off if you stand up. Maybe they respect you I don't know but I don't think I ever fought same bully twice

It's not respect, it's easier to bully someone who won't fight back than someone who will and possibly beat you.


In secondary school I had a guy punch me at 8 in the morning, between the wtf and earlieness I just stood there going what the ****, **** off you twat, same guy came back to finish the fight after school, beat him up and down the yard till a bus driver pulled me away.

His brothers and father them came into the school the next day to find the person bullying there son

timthumbni

dodderangler wrote: »

Here's the way I seem it.
Would you rather
1. Have a bully constantly bully you and not do anything bout it and be picked on and maybe take the beatings still doing nothing
Or
2. Stand up for yourself and fight back and either get beaten up or beat him up but know that you done something about it.

Dodderangler - what would you advise for people who aren't quite as hard as yourself to do? You do realise that a lot of those being bullied aren't fighters or hard men such as yourself. You might refer to them as nerds. This isn't fecking The Karate Kid you know.

Arawn

timthumbni wrote: »

Dodderangler - what would you advise for people who aren't quite as hard as yourself to do? You do realise that a lot of those being bullied aren't fighters or hard men such as yourself. You might refer to them as nerds. This isn't fecking The Karate Kid you know.

Have you been bullied yourself? It's not about winning, it's about not sitting there and being an easy target

timthumbni

Arawn wrote: »

Have you been bullied yourself? It's not about winning, it's about not sitting there and being an easy target

I started the thread so in a very limited short time I can say I was bullied. Read the thread. I wasn't an easy target at all, at least not for my age. WhAts your point?

Arawn

timthumbni wrote: »

I started the thread so in a very limited short time I can say I was bullied. Read the thread. I wasn't an easy target at all, at least not for my age. WhAts your point?

Did you do something to stop your bullying or just wait for the bully to get bored and move on?

dodderangler

timthumbni wrote: »

Dodderangler - what would you advise for people who aren't quite as hard as yourself to do? You do realise that a lot of those being bullied aren't fighters or hard men such as yourself. You might refer to them as nerds. This isn't fecking The Karate Kid you know.

Certainly am not hard or trying to act like a hard man. And no I wouldn't refer to them as nerds.
But for god sake. Stand up or spend your school years or life looking over your shoulder.
That's certainly no way to live.

meoklmrk91

Was bullied all the way up through primary school by a particular girl, it would get bad my mother would go in, the teacher would speak to her it would stop for a few weeks and then start up again. She isolated me from the others and would then get them to help her in her endeavours to crush me.

By the time I got up to 5th and 6th I had no confidence and was pretty broken, I just couldn't deal anymore. I was so quiet. If I had gone to an ordinary secondary school I would have definitely been a target and there is a very decent possibly that I wouldn't be here today. Thankfully I didn't, I learned to stand up for myself and much better today because of it.

While I would like to be the bigger person say it doesn't bother me anymore I would be lying, it doesn't effect my daily life so much as it changed to person I was and who I would become. If I ever got my chance I'd take a run at her.

timthumbni

Arawn wrote: »

Did you do something to stop your bullying or just wait for the bully to get bored and move on?

Something external to me happened with mine. He was expelled due to another very violent incident with another pupil. I'm an atheist but I have to admit maybe I should have went to church that day. Lol.

Butterface

Most of the posters mention physical bullying, but I think in schools verbal and emotional bullying is a more common problem.

My experience of bullying was definitely different to what's been posted here already. I was friends with some of the girls that went on to bully me and their attitude towards me changed dramatically after the Junior Cert. I didn't even identify it as bullying at the time.

I hadn't done anything to provoke this change of attitude, and I believe it was one girl who encouraged the others to ice me out of the group. It's a horrible feeling to be shunned from a group of friends who you'd shared many happy times with. I didn't really have anybody to confide in, and found it deeply embarrassing that I was dropped so quickly. I was bookish and wasn't into going out drinking much at that age, and I was an easy target for these girls who thought they were suddenly grown ups because they were in the senior uniforms. Teenage girls can make the most cutting remarks and my self esteem just plummeted. I had been relatively popular in my year until it all started, and yet nobody in my class ever stuck up for me or called the girls on their behaviour. For a few months, I spent the lunch times sitting by myself because I was literally turned away from people or laughed at for attempting to talk to them.

Eventually, I made the decision to switch schools because I was depressed and couldn't concentrate on my studies. Although I never gave a reason and just slipped away quietly in the middle of term, it was clear everybody knew why I was leaving. A few years ago I bumped into one of the bullies with some other girls from our year while in a pub in Dublin. They brought up the fact that I'd left in 5th year and said that everybody had thought it was so weird. I couldn't even bring myself to tell the other girls the real reason I'd left, because one of my past tormentors was sitting across from me.

The teenage years are hard enough without experiencing bullying. It's easy to tell people to "grow a pair of balls". Not everybody is able to stand up for themselves. I'm a very different person to how I was 12 years ago, even to 5 years ago when I met my bully in that pub in Dublin, yet if I was faced with that situation again I'm not sure what I could have done differently to stop it. God I hate bullies.

LordSutch

Butterface wrote: »

Most of the posters mention physical bullying, but I think in schools verbal and emotional bullying is a more common problem.

I would have thought 'cyber' bullying was the number one problem these days?

timthumbni

LordSutch wrote: »

I would have thoght 'cyber' bullying was the number one problem these days?

So even when they are at home they aren't safe. (Either from bullying or being bullied)

I would not be impressed (understatement) either way. I hope and trust my weans wont be involved either way. I hope otherwise.

Daemos

I was bullied in school on-and-off for about 6 years. Nothing majorly serious, never any beatings or anything like that, just pokeing and prodding, trying to get a reaction. One guy regularly stole money from me which I wasn't even aware of at the time. I also inflicted some of it on myself for - what I considered at the time - innocent reaction to comments

A turning point came when I was about 15. A guy I was in class with all my life seemed determined to take it to the next level, culminating in throwing chewing gum in my hair, which had to be cut out. I never spoke to any teachers about any of the bullying, but this incident seemingly was enough to make them take action themselves

Our guidance counselor pulled me out of class under the pretense of needing a job done - something she regularly did so there were no red flags raised by doing this, and I didn't even know what was going on. She took me into a side room, and we had a heart-to-heart talk about everything, and I balled my eyes out while I told everything to her, and also to the school principle - who happened to be a family friend

I don't know what they said to the guy in question, but it must have been pretty serious because for the next 3 years we went to school together he never bothered me again. He was still a troublemaker, they didn't change that, but he never bothered me again. I wouldn't say we became friends but we were able to chat to one another as if nothing ever happened

He would even go so far as to try to stop people bothering me if he thought things were getting too serious, and there was even one point where he thought he went too far himself, and just completely avoided me for the rest of the day, as if he was trying to make up for what he might have said. It was pretty extraordinary, I went from being afraid of him, to him almost being afraid of me

Moral of the story is, talk to someone. And if you talk to the right person, under the right circumstances, you'd be amazed at the turnaround in attitude

Seachmall

timthumbni wrote: »

Dodderangler - what would you advise for people who aren't quite as hard as yourself to do? You do realise that a lot of those being bullied aren't fighters or hard men such as yourself. You might refer to them as nerds. This isn't fecking The Karate Kid you know.

Just to make the point that you don't have to be a fighter or a hard man or even brave to stand up for yourself. I'm a small guy, I've probably lost most the fights I've been in and I've had my fair share of bruised egos but I think I'm better for it.

I don't know if "fight back" would be the advice I'd give to my future kid but there is worse advice out there.


In saying that I've no idea how someone would deal with the more psychological or emotional bullying, as far as I can see that's the one there's no straight forward solution to.

timthumbni

Butterface wrote: »

Most of the posters mention physical bullying, but I think in schools verbal and emotional bullying is a more common problem.

My experience of bullying was definitely different to what's been posted here already. I was friends with some of the girls that went on to bully me and their attitude towards me changed dramatically after the Junior Cert. I didn't even identify it as bullying at the time.

I hadn't done anything to provoke this change of attitude, and I believe it was one girl who encouraged the others to ice me out of the group. It's a horrible feeling to be shunned from a group of friends who you'd shared many happy times with. I didn't really have anybody to confide in, and found it deeply embarrassing that I was dropped so quickly. I was bookish and wasn't into going out drinking much at that age, and I was an easy target for these girls who thought they were suddenly grown ups because they were in the senior uniforms. Teenage girls can make the most cutting remarks and my self esteem just plummeted. I had been relatively popular in my year until it all started, and yet nobody in my class ever stuck up for me or called the girls on their behaviour. For a few months, I spent the lunch times sitting by myself because I was literally turned away from people or laughed at for attempting to talk to them.

Eventually, I made the decision to switch schools because I was depressed and couldn't concentrate on my studies. Although I never gave a reason and just slipped away quietly in the middle of term, it was clear everybody knew why I was leaving. A few years ago I bumped into one of the bullies with some other girls from our year while in a pub in Dublin. They brought up the fact that I'd left in 5th year and said that everybody had thought it was so weird. I couldn't even bring myself to tell the other girls the real reason I'd left, because one of my past tormentors was sitting across from me.

The teenage years are hard enough without experiencing bullying. It's easy to tell people to "grow a pair of balls". Not everybody is able to stand up for themselves. I'm a very different person to how I was 12 years ago, even to 5 years ago when I met my bully in that pub in Dublin, yet if I was faced with that situation again I'm not sure what I could have done differently to stop it. God I hate bullies.

That was a very honest and typical admission of bullying. People who normally say "just stand up for yourself" are normally those who haven't been bullied or very little anyway.

If my kids were bullied or in fact were bullying others I would be raging. I try to bring my kids up not to pick on people. ( though I can't ensure they themselves wont be bullied)

wp_rathead

Arawn wrote: »

Have you been bullied yourself? It's not about winning, it's about not sitting there and being an easy target

think the point some are making is if sometimes people who fight back are still "easy targets" - so it isn't exactly a solution, and in some cases can just escalte the situation

bullying really is tragic though, kids can be very cruel
can only imagine how hopeless a parent must feel knowing their child is being bullied

lahalane

I was bullied a bit in primary school, first and second class. They left for secondary school then so I was grand in school but I joined the GAA club then and was bullied there as well. I asked parents to let me quit and it wasn't until I was 14 that they allowed me. Things were grand in secondary school. I get on grand with the guys who gave me a hard time now. It was **** at the time but I think it made me a better person so it worked out okay. Nothing more than name calling so I was lucky in that regard.

Seachmall

timthumbni wrote: »

People who normally say "just stand up for yourself" are normally those who haven't been bullied or very little anyway.

Bullshit.

Just because you don't like the advice doesn't mean you can condescend other people's experiences with bullying.

Arawn

Seachmall wrote: »

Bullshit.

Just because you don't like the advice doesn't mean you can condescend other people's experiences with bullying.

+1 the tell the teachers approach worked so well for me for 4 years resulting in many handshakes and apologies and that was it as punishment

timthumbni

Seachmall wrote: »

Bullshit.

Just because you don't like the advice doesn't mean you can condescend other people's experiences with bullying.

Ok. I see your point. Some people who are bullied can fight their way out of it.!!!! I'm very glad for them.

However, you do also see the point of those who maybe can't physically defend themselves, don't you?

lukesmom

In 6th class I got the face punched off me by a girl, it floored me. Still see the nacker around the town now and again. She pretends she doesn't know me and I do the same. I was a very naive girl at 12 and thought everyone was lovely

SusieBlue

I was bullied from about 1st class to 3rd class. It never physical, it was mainly a group of my classmates taking the píss out of me.

I was 3 starting school, didn't turn 4 until a couple of months later, and I was in a class with mainly 5 year olds, and a few 6 year olds. I was also particularly small and petite which didn't help either.

On top of being 18mos younger than most kids in my class, I was extremely innocent and naive for my age. I remember being the laughing stock of my class in 2nd class because I honestly had no idea where babies came from, they all thought it was hilarious and I was mocked endlessly over it. I just didn't have a clue.

A lot of it was because I was the "baby", and being so much younger, I was probably more immature too. I was smaller and younger than everyone else. No one wanted to play with me.I was mocked a lot, mainly over my short height but they took advantage of my innocence a lot because I definitely wasn't as street wise as some of the other kids in my class.

There was just too big an age gap and even now my mum says she wishes she'd waited until I was 5 to send me to school. The teachers tried to help where they could, all of my teachers adored me but that just made it worse because I was seen as a teachers pet. I used to spend my lunch break for the whole of 1st class holding the hand of whichever teacher was on yard duty, because it was preferable to the verbal abuse I was bound to get from my classmates.

I stayed back a year in 3rd class and it made such a difference. I didn't think it would make a difference but I was coming home from school every day crying and I just wasn't mature enough for what was going on. I was much happier with my new class and thankfully I haven't had any issues since then.

Seachmall

timthumbni wrote: »

However, you do also see the point of those who maybe can't physically defend themselves, don't you?

I appreciate that it wouldn't work for many, and that many simply couldn't bring themselves to stand up to the bully, but I reject the idea that you need to be physically capable of defending yourself (by that I assume you mean beating the bully up) for it work.


Like I said I don't know if it's the advice I'd give to my children, but it's advice that does work sometimes for some people.