"Man Up" campaign by SafeIreland

iptba

FWIW. Not 100% sure this would be considered domestic violence.

Woman assaulted her boyfriend and best friend after Snapchat messages exposed affair

https://kqeducationgroup.com/woman-assaulted-her-boyfriend-and-best-friend-after-snapchat-messages-exposed-affair/

iptba

https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/i-was-johnny-depps-biggest-fan-as-a-teenager-but-id-never-admit-that-now-41556439.html

No starry eyes

A teenage Harriet Williamson saw Johnny Depp as a gentle, misunderstood soul – a tortured artist, someone who wasn’t prepared to be a manufactured teen idol after early success. No longer a starry-eyed adolescent, she chooses to believe women who report experiences of abuse, like Amber Heard. (Premium)

I haven't followed this relationship closely but Amber seemed to no angel in what happened.

Probably not the best advert for "believing women".

iptba

Extract from: https://www.independent.ie/news/glass-ceiling-broken-but-challenges-remain-a-female-led-solicitors-team-on-criminal-defence-volatile-clients-and-abuse-of-the-system-41616068.html

Domestic violence is one area the women take a particular interest in, but lawyers have concerns grounded in their collective experience that could be described as controversial.

They believe that a “small cohort” of women abuse barring orders and safety orders, which they describe as a “blunt instrument”.

“There has been a noticeable rise in domestic abuse cases in the country, especially since the pandemic, and there is a definite need for barring orders and protective and safety orders which we deal with from both sides – victim and defendant,” Ms Mimnagh says. “But they [orders] must be treated with respect by both the person obtaining the order and the person who is the subject of the order.

“Sometimes, in a minority of cases, we see how a woman may use the order she has in place to control the partner and the breakdown of a relationship. Some people abuse these orders just to get the partner out of the house.

“If the orders are not respected and dealt with in a responsible manner by the person who has the order, then the system becomes ineffective and unjust.

“Frivolous complaints can result in a defendant being unable to access employment – especially if it requires garda vetting.”

She also points out that while women are the victims in the “vast majority” of domestic abuse cases, there is also a “significant cohort of men” who are abused by their partners in heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

“There is coercive control and abuse to both genders, which sometimes is forgotten,” she adds.

They argue that when encountering allegations of domestic abuse, the current legislation and directives that are in place are removing discretion from the gardaí.

Ms Baxter says: “As the system currently stands, if there is an order in place and the gardaí are called, then regardless of the particular circumstances the garda must arrest and hold that person in custody.

“I know one case where a man had been in a relationship with a woman for about four months when they both realised it wasn’t working out and decided to go their separate ways.

“The woman obtained a safety order that allowed for her to continue living in the same house as long as the partner did not put her in fear. She called the gardaí on several occasions and each time he had to be arrested, and then brought to court.

“Twice he was held overnight, but the gardaí, who could see what was going on, did not have discretion in the matter. This man was working full-time and this was his own house.

“The issue was that the woman had no home and, probably in desperation, decided to abuse the process to get him out of his home.

“My concern is that if you have a small minority of people prepared to abuse the system, then it takes away from the real victims.

“The judges and gardaí see this but can’t do anything, even if it is a petty argument.”

Ms Mimnagh cites another case where a man in a family law case was so frustrated that he was not being listened to that he offered the judge €100 “just so he could have five uninterrupted minutes” to explain his case.

“He felt that there wasn’t enough time for him to be heard. He hadn’t seen his children for several months.

Regarding the phrase "real victim", is not the man in the case above a real victim.

iptba

A man who died in an Irish domestic violence incident.

He doesn't sound like he was any angel but I wonder whether if the genders were reversed, whether a man would be walking out with no conviction of any sort.

"Woman found not guilty of murdering her husband after night out"

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/woman-found-not-guilty-of-murdering-her-husband-after-night-out-41655605.html

iptba

At least 11,000 women with addiction problems endure domestic violence

Hard-hitting report reveals nearly 50,000 have lived with dependency and brutality

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/at-least-11-000-women-with-addiction-problems-endure-domestic-violence-1.4881095

---

I have to wonder whether at least some of these 11,000 women with addiction problems are themselves abusive in some way towards their male partner.

iptba

My brother has returned to his abusive wife and I’m worn out

Subscriber only

Ask Roe: I thought that after years of heartache he was finally going to break free

about 18 hours ago

Roe McDermott

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/my-brother-has-returned-to-his-abusive-wife-and-i-m-worn-out-1.4874787

[..]

You can help him research therapists, give him an alibi for his appointments if he needs one, and if he resists, make sure that he knows there is an open offer to help him get professional support should he decide to. You could also look at specialist resources such as SafeIreland.ie, which has information on all kinds of abuse as well as a comprehensive list of helplines across the country. Looking at resources like this will help you understand what your brother is going through, and also give you advice on how best to support him.

I'd prefer if the different website was listed

Can you imagine an Ireland where women and children are free from violence and abuse? 

That is what Safe Ireland is aiming to achieve. Together, we can make Ireland the safest country in the world for women and children. We believe that by achieving this, Ireland will be safer for all its citizens. How are we going to do that?

https://www.safeireland.ie/

FishOnABike

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119083552#Comment_119083552

At least some? I would say, based on available research, it is likely that in a significant percentage of those cases the voilence is mutual.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/

iptba

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119100361#Comment_119100361

Yes indeed. My point was that I would guess that people with addiction problems are more likely to be abusive in some form.

FishOnABike

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119102552#Comment_119102552

Agreed a significant number of addicts would be in a relationship with another addict. Their whole environment could probably be described as totally chaotic.

iptba

>Agreed a significant number of addicts would be in a relationship with another addict. Their whole environment could probably be described as totally chaotic.

——

Indeed. But even where the male partner wasn’t an addict, with one partner being an addict, it would be unusual if none of the addicts were abusive.

petronius

There seems to be so much misandry and hypocrisy, in the media and marketing industries.

Demonising male traits, then as in this case expecting them to, and condemning men for not displaying male traits. Despite thoughts of self-preservation, I have and would and feel most men would intervene if they saw a woman in trouble. I feel I should and we all should, also intervene if I see a man be threatened with violence but I don't think this is the case.

The comic actor Robert Webb, did a programme and wrote a book on his problems with the term "man up". I strongly disagree with it, but there are obligations to being a man, it may not be fair but it is what it is.

I don't hear the clamour or accusations of sexism that Ukraine allows women to leave and seek refuge abroad, but men over 18 have to stay and be available to fight!

iptba

Trial halted after mother pleads guilty to murder and attempted murder of her infant sons

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/trial-halted-after-mother-pleads-guilty-to-murder-and-attempted-murder-of-her-infant-sons-41696417.html

She had also written a series of notes that morning, declaring: “I’m doing this to hurt the ones who have hurt me and the one who is continuing to hurt me.

“I’m taking my kids with me because I can’t leave them with their dad; he is a horrible person; doesn’t have any empathy; please understand I LOVE my kids; I REALLY don’t want to do this; I don’t want to do this but I feel I have no choice.”

[..]

In relation to that issue, the jury heard background evidence from the boys’ father and the defendant’s ex-husband, as well as her two older teenage children, who all said she was violent and aggressive to her respective partners.

iptba

‘Zero tolerance’: Domestic violence sentences will double under new laws

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/zero-tolerance-domestic-violence-sentences-will-double-under-new-laws-41796778.html

iptba

https://twitter.com/IrishPharmacy/status/1542780359594631168?s=20&t=82hysELqgjibIcyZoXzXCg

Irish Pharmacy Union @IrishPharmacy

The Safe Pharmacy initiative, being launched today, enables people experiencing domestic abuse and coercive control to receive support in

their local pharmacy. The IPU is proud to partner with @SAFEIreland, @gardainfo and @HSELive #SafePharmacy #ThinkPharmacy

----

SAFE Ireland doesn't support victims who are men so one wonders whether a man going in would be treated equally. What information is being distributed to the pharmacists?

One could easily do an experiment where men and women actors were given the same script and see what response they got. This will be much more scientific than much of the "gender research" in the social sciences.

iptba

Wife in Australia 'ran husband over, attacked mistress' after uncovering affair

https://www.stuff.co.nz/world/australia/300675046/wife-in-australia-ran-husband-over-attacked-mistress-after-uncovering-affair

iptba

Half of people know of a domestic abuse sufferer and say victim-blaming culture is rife, study finds

Given that domestic violence is often mutual, with both partners involved, perhaps so-called "victim blaming" is actually justified in some cases. It's not the same as some crimes.

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/news/half-of-people-know-of-a-domestic-abuse-sufferer-and-say-victim-blaming-culture-is-rife-study-finds-42025115.html

Ursula Murphy, a chief transformation officer with Allianz Insurance, conceded that Ireland had become more progressive and inclusive in recent years, but yet "we still see too many tragedies involving violence against women”.

"On February 6 next we’re asking everyone to join us, in standing strong to support those women, and to push for zero tolerance of domestic abuse in Ireland.”

No attempt to be gender neutral there.

iptba

Ireland can lead in efforts to end scourge of violence against women across Europe

Helen McEntee

Helen McEntee is the Minister for Justice.

https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/ireland-can-lead-in-efforts-to-end-scourge-of-violence-against-women-across-europe-42027816.html

[..]

The Dublin Declaration is heavily aligned with work already under way in Ireland through the zero-tolerance strategy I published in June. Among other measures, the declaration will:

:: Encourage initial and in-service training of all relevant professionals, including within the criminal justice system.

:: Promote the teaching, at all levels of education, issues such as equality between women and men, mutual respect, non-violent conflict resolution in interpersonal relationships, gender-based violence against women, and the right to personal integrity, including online.

:: Commit to increasing the provision of perpetrator programmes for domestic violence and for sexual violence.

:: Stress the importance of ensuring a systematic, long-term approach to awareness-raising on the various forms of violence against women, again including online.

No mention of male victims on a quick skim.

iptba

Woman must pay former husband €1.6m as part of divorce settlement, judge rules

The judge equalised the former couple’s pensions, ordering the woman to contribute €470,000 to the man’s pension pot

https://www.irishtimes.com/crime-law/courts/2022/11/02/woman-must-pay-former-husband-16-million-as-part-of-divorce-settlement-judge-rules

The ruling was made by Mr Justice John Jordan, who granted the pair a decree of divorce. He rejected the woman’s claims that her former husband had assaulted, abused and threatened her.

The woman made serious allegations of misconduct against the man, which the court must examine. The judge said a spouse, and anyone involved in an intimate relationship, is “entitled to be treated with the complete respect by the other partner”.

In this case, the judge said, the woman’s allegations of assault, abuse and threats had not been made out, and the court was not satisfied to make orders in the proceedings

No credible or convincing evidence was produced to prove that the husband is or was violent or a person whom the woman feared. There was no independent evidence that supported the women’s allegations and the evidence produced by her was not persuasive, the judge said.

He said the man had accepted losing his temper on occasions and, while the man let himself down when that happened, the judge was satisfied the man was not violent.

iptba

More than 90% of garda members have received specific training to deal with cases of coercive control.

https://www.rte.ie/news/ireland/2022/1209/1340922-gardai-abuse

I wonder who is providing a lot of the training? Previously a lot of feminists who are biased were involved in at least some of the training.

More than 90% of garda members have received specific training to deal with cases of coercive control.

So thats why you never see a garda on the street. They are all in class rooms.

iptba

Saw this popular tweet

So Rowling's only allowing female victims over the age of 16 into her refuge - what about teen sons who still live at home? Does she think they should be forced to stay with the abuser while their mum gets to escape?

https://twitter.com/rachelcdailey/status/1602293481057419264?s=46&t=KnXhJXkVlyfnjtmRpuJFxw

I’d be inclined to always help someone in trouble but when scum bags are involved there’s a good chance you’ll end up with the damsel in distress and her fella turning on you 😂😂

iptba

A safe haven in a time of crisis

How Airbnb is helping Safe Ireland to support women forced to leave their homes due to domestic violence

https://www.irishtimes.com/sponsored/2022/11/23/a-safe-haven-in-a-time-of-crisis

While it nice to see support for people affected by domestic violence, it’s disappointing when men are excluded as presumably is the case with the various aspects of this, past and present.

iptba

Women’s Aid ad for Virgin Media One documentary on domestic violence which sounds like it will be mostly or all on female victims:

https://twitter.com/womens_aid/status/1604919397457477632?s=46&t=bZMp_TJTT4IkQjRGLZBXPg

iptba

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/crime/violence-against-women-at-crisis-levels-as-one-woman-a-week-has-been-killed-so-far-in-2023-42318214.html

Ivanna Youtchak, NWC’s violence against women co-ordinator, said: “It’s also crucial that the Government takes an intersectional approach to DSGBV.

“We know for example that, after gender, disability is the single biggest risk factor for gender-based violence.

“Government must ensure all services are designed with disabled women in mind.

“They must also ensure minoritised groups, such as migrant women, Traveller women, and LGBTQ+ people – including trans women – do not face obstacles in accessing services.”

A much bigger group of victims are males. It is a disgraceful joke how male victims get such a poor service here (and elsewhere) and how bodies which are supposed to be about equality ignore such a large group.

iptba

Domestic violence:

Woman admits to drowning grandmother because she couldn’t afford nursing home: ‘I feel like I put the dog down’

https://www.independent.ie/world-news/north-america/woman-admits-to-drowning-grandmother-because-she-couldnt-afford-nursing-home-i-feel-like-i-put-the-dog-down-42375062.html

From Facebook (written by a woman):

If a man did that he's a d**k but when a woman does it... oh jesus that poor woman at the end of her tether to do that god love her etc.

iptba

WOMAN (63) SMASHED EX-HUSBAND’S TRACTOR WITH GOLF CLUB OVER €200,000 DEBT

https://carlow-nationalist.ie/2023/03/23/woman-63-smashed-ex-husbands-tractor-with-golf-club-over-e200000-debt/

In evidence concerning the incident, the husband told the court that only a bar on the tractor door “is all that saved her from hitting me” during the August 10th, 2020 incident.

The man said that he had gone with his daughter to check on cattle on a field beside the family home which is near Gort.

He said: “Only for the bar that was there that you pull in the door with she had me got. That is all that stopped her.”

The man said from the golf club strikes to the tractor “I had blood on my hands and I had blood up here from glass coming on to on top of me and if the golf club had hit me it would have been a different case altogether”.

If a man didn’t this after a separation, even if he might have due cause to feel frustrated (say, with regard to his ex-partner getting in the way of having access to his children), I think likely he would get a more serious sentence.

iptba

https://www.irishtimes.com/health/your-wellness/2023/04/19/for-as-long-as-l-have-remembered-my-mother-has-been-an-alcoholic

Subscriber Only

‘My mother has been an alcoholic for as long as l can remember and is abusive towards my father’

iptba

Sometimes, it’s a little too ridiculous for its own good.

Take, for instance, a scene in episode three when an enraged Kate sucker-punches her infuriating husband under a tree next to their house. I won’t spoil the set-up, but let’s just say it involves one partner asking the other for an honest, open communication — and it does not go well.

First comes the punch, then Kate wrestles Hal to the ground. Instead of intervening, a group of special security types watch as Kate knocks seven shades out of her spouse. Afterwards, a mud-and-twig-covered Kate meets with the US president William Rayburn (Michael McKean) about important international affairs. He then advises her to take a shower.

Does this show really treat a deplorable act of domestic violence as some goofy, throwaway punchline? It does.

https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/hey-netflix-that-domestic-violence-scene-in-the-diplomat-is-not-cool-at-all/42446445.html

iptba

Domestic Violence: Women and children left in ‘life-threatening’ situations due to failures by courts, gardaí and Tusla 

Report finds courts, gardaí and Tusla are failing women and children and leaving them exposed to danger at home 

Women and children are being left in “life-threatening” situations because of a failure of the courts, gardaí and Tusla to collaborate on domestic violence cases, a joint Department of Justice and National Women’s Council report has found

https://www.irishtimes.com/crime-law/2023/05/03/domestic-violence-victims-made-feel-stupid-and-guilty-by-justice-system

So a Department of Justice report that ignored male victims.