Getting asked to buy her a drink... Am I missing something?

BrianG23

Had this happen a few times, it's one of those lines that make me want to whip out my cock and piss on her legs.

However, some girls just don't know any better I think. Not all the ones who ask for a drink are using you for a drink. The other night I had someone do it and I simply changed the subject. Which ended well.

I like to have a bit of fun with the ones who ask it though sometimes. It gives you the opportunity to tell ****s to get lost in various ways. My personal favorite is getting them a glass of water and seeing their reaction. But that can end badly, because you've just handed them something to throw at you.

Wibbs

I work it this way; I'll buy drinks for mates, male or female and they do same in turn for me. I don't buy strangers drinks. I'd certainly not a buy a drink for a bloke I just met, so why would I buy a drink for a woman I just met? I wouldn't be all anal about it, or even think on it much, but generally no.

It's a throwback to old stylee 1950's mad men type dating behaviour when women earned less and were often on the back foot socially, it's not for nowadays. On the contrary, in many mixed groups in a pub of a night the women earn more than the blokes, so get the cash out ladies. Actually with one exception my female mates do.

I actually have had women come out and say "oh you're not getting me a drink?"(this type rarely uses the "buy" word to disguise the crassness of it. Lie people who ask "can I borrow a smoke"). What I've done a few times is come back with a pleasant smile "oh sorry, you didn't ask. Here's a tenner" and motion in the direction of the bar and go back to chatting with my mates. In my experience anyway, after an initial WTF expression, this kinda tack is actually far more likely to get them revved up for you, if that's what you're after. Go figure. I suppose it's the fact you react in a novel way? Might be akin to the "WhyisitwhenIhaveagirlfriendwomenhitonmewhennormallytheywouldn't" effect? It's because you're not trying to impress?







*unless of course he/she was with my group of mates and it was my turn to head for the bar.

Sauve

TheRingslayer wrote: »

I'd buy my wife one if I get married, but not some cackling whore looking for a cheap night on the tartar sauce.

BrianG23 wrote: »

Had this happen a few times, it's one of those lines that make me want to whip out my cock and piss on her legs.

Mod
C'mon, there's no need for that kind of chat here. It ends now.

Galwayguy35

Saw it happen once, sometimes the local pub that I like to drink in has a DJ and it attracts the younger crowd obviously.

There was one fella chatting to this girl at the counter and buying her drinks for a good 2 hours or so, we all know when you are drinking pints ya have to drain the spuds on a regular basis and when he came back she was gone.

Expensive night for him.

Daveysil15

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Saw it happen once, sometimes the local pub that I like to drink in has a DJ and it attracts the younger crowd obviously.

There was one fella chatting to this girl at the counter and buying her drinks for a good 2 hours or so, we all know when you are drinking pints ya have to drain the spuds on a regular basis and when he came back she was gone.

Expensive night for him.

Indeed. A hooker probably would've been cheaper.

seachto7

Just say to them "you buy me a drink first, and then I'll buy you one back"

Brego888

I've had this a few times over the years but one incident stands out in particular.
I was pretty hammered and had pulled a girl on a night out, bit of kissing, flirting etc. So I had no problem buying her a drink when we were both back at the bar. Next thing one of her friends shows up and the conversation goes like this:

Friend - "buy me a drink" in a rather aggressive tone.
Me - "eh no, I'm not made of money"
Friend - "we'll you bought her a f ucking drink"
Me - "I did indeed, but I'm getting to know her here"
Friend 2 and 3 turn up - "Mary* get this dick to buys us a drink"

Now I'm not normally intimidated by a group of women but I didn't see this ending well for me as arguing with her friends and getting a punch off one wouldn't be much of a first impression. So said to Mary* I'm off back to my friends I'll see you later. As I moved away I got a volley of verbal abuse from her friends.
As the night progressed it looking possible but not confirmed that they were Knackers.
A lucky escape I think!

Playboy

Brego888 wrote: »

As the night progressed it looking possible but not confirmed that they were Knackers.

You couldnt tell the difference befoe you started snogging her lol?

Pug160

Brego888 wrote: »

I've had this a few times over the years but one incident stands out in particular.
I was pretty hammered and had pulled a girl on a night out, bit of kissing, flirting etc. So I had no problem buying her a drink when we were both back at the bar. Next thing one of her friends shows up and the conversation goes like this:

Friend - "buy me a drink" in a rather aggressive tone.
Me - "eh no, I'm not made of money"
Friend - "we'll you bought her a f ucking drink"
Me - "I did indeed, but I'm getting to know her here"
Friend 2 and 3 turn up - "Mary* get this dick to buys us a drink"

Now I'm not normally intimidated by a group of women but I didn't see this ending well for me as arguing with her friends and getting a punch off one wouldn't be much of a first impression. So said to Mary* I'm off back to my friends I'll see you later. As I moved away I got a volley of verbal abuse from her friends.
As the night progressed it looking possible but not confirmed that they were Knackers.
A lucky escape I think!

Fellas, what is this obsession some of you have with buying drinks? Why does it make a difference if you've ''pulled'' someone or not? If a girl likes you, nothing more is required. Just chat to her and have fun. Buying her that drink also gave her other trashy friends ammunition to fire at you. You also handled them the wrong way. It's better to just laugh that stuff off rather than give a serious answer. You made the mistake most of us have probably made at one time or another, and that mistake was letting your little brain control your big one.

I wonder if some of these girls are just picking their 'victims' at random or are they picking certain types of guys. A lot of people don't realise this, but if you're not very assertive or confident it can sometimes be seen from a mile off through crappy body language and other behaviours. It's almost along the same lines as the bully who can spot the weak.

Daveysil15

Brego888 wrote: »

As the night progressed it looking possible but not confirmed that they were Knackers.
A lucky escape I think!

You missed out there man. Traveller women are savage in be... ehh caravan.

Pug160 wrote: »

Fellas, what is this obsession some of you have with buying drinks? Why does it make a difference if you've ''pulled'' someone or not? If a girl likes you, nothing more is required. Just chat to her and have fun. Buying her that drink also gave her other trashy friends ammunition to fire at you. You also handled them the wrong way. It's better to just laugh that stuff off rather than give a serious answer. You made the mistake most of us have probably made at one time or another, and that mistake was letting your little brain control your big one.

Some guys just think it will guarantee them a shag, or at the very least a shift. I think I've only ever bought a girl a drink once, and I ended up seeing her for a while.

But I'd never buy a girl several drinks in one night in a bid to get in her knickers. You're essentially buying her. I'd sooner just hire a hooker than do that.

Brego888

Playboy wrote: »

You couldnt tell the difference befoe you started snogging her lol?

That's why I said it was possible but not confirmed

Brego888

Pug160 wrote: »

Fellas, what is this obsession some of you have with buying drinks? Why does it make a difference if you've ''pulled'' someone or not? If a girl likes you, nothing more is required. Just chat to her and have fun. Buying her that drink also gave her other trashy friends ammunition to fire at you. You also handled them the wrong way. It's better to just laugh that stuff off rather than give a serious answer. You made the mistake most of us have probably made at one time or another, and that mistake was letting your little brain control your big one.

I wonder if some of these girls are just picking their 'victims' at random or are they picking certain types of guys. A lot of people don't realise this, but if you're not very assertive or confident it can sometimes be seen from a mile off through crappy body language and other behaviours. It's almost along the same lines as the bully who can spot the weak.

Nah you're way off here man. I bought her a drink in this instance as she was now my "friend" let's say, and I was getting to know her. I would have expected a drink back from her after that to be honest or at least the offer of one. She wasn't just some randomer who asked for a drink at this stage it was her friends who did that! And I did try to laugh that off at first as I thought they were messing but was getting nowhere. My "big brain" knew enough to get out of there.

delta36

I have to say, this thread is making for a great read, but on another note...

I'm clearly not attractive enough/rich looking enough for any girl to ever have tried this on me!! :pac:

Knex*

delta36 wrote: »

I have to say, this thread is making for a great read, but on another note...

I'm clearly not attractive enough/rich looking enough for any girl to ever have tried this on me!! :pac:

Or maybe, you're too attractive.

Chewabacca

You should respond "I barely have the money to buy myself a drink".

If they don't want to know you because of that then you're much much better off not getting to know them at all. I suppose in a lot of cases on nights out lads have no interest in whether they get on with a girl or not, they just want to do the business regardless of how repulsive the girl is personality wise. Sad but true.

Panthro

Chewabacca wrote: »

You should respond "I barely have the money to buy myself a drink".

If they don't want to know you because of that then you're much much better off not getting to know them at all. I suppose in a lot of cases on nights out lads have no interest in whether they get on with a girl or not, they just want to do the business regardless of how repulsive the girl is personality wise. Sad but true.

Well that's a sweeping generalization if ever I seen one. I must have a shocking gang of mates so because whenever we all get together we're too busy having the shyts n giggles between ourselves to be bothering our holes trying to be doing "the business" with all these wimmins.
And can that generalization be flipped round and suggested that maybe there are girls who go out on a night out wanting to do "the business" with any aul bit of riff raff bloke that approaches, no?
Madness.

Galwayguy35

Panthro wrote: »

Well that's a sweeping generalization if ever I seen one. I must have a shocking gang of mates so because whenever we all get together we're too busy having the shyts n giggles between ourselves to be bothering our holes trying to be doing "the business" with all these wimmins.
And can that generalization be flipped round and suggested that maybe there are girls who go out on a night out wanting to do "the business" with any aul bit of riff raff bloke that approaches, no?
Madness.

Most young fellas on a night out go to a nightclub with the aim of getting the leg over.

I don't think it's a generalization to say that, it's just a reality, it was like that years ago when I was going to clubs and I doubt it changed much since.

Daveysil15

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Most young fellas on a night out go to a nightclub with the aim of getting the leg over.

I don't think it's a generalization to say that, it's just a reality, it was like that years ago when I was going to clubs and I doubt it changed much since.

Ohh believe me it has. It's all about looking good for the facebook photos now. The fecking smart phones have ruined it.

drzoidberg

I am really surprised by this thread! I would rather die of thirst.

If a drink is ever OFFERED to me by a fella I always decline. But if I like the look of him I will get him one. I feel like accepting a drink is like an unwritten contract to hang out!

Sharktopus

As William S Boroughs said 'beware the whore who asks for no money, she will cost you far more in the long run'

In the interest of balance, this quote can be applied to elements of both sexes...

Pawwed Rig

drzoidberg wrote: »

I feel like accepting a drink is like an unwritten contract to hang out!

I would say that offering to buy someone a drink is just another way of saying 'do you wanna chat for a while'. I can't see any other reason for offering.
Asking a stranger to buy you a drink is the equivalent of begging imho.

Chewabacca

Panthro wrote: »

Well that's a sweeping generalization if ever I seen one. I must have a shocking gang of mates so because whenever we all get together we're too busy having the shyts n giggles between ourselves to be bothering our holes trying to be doing "the business" with all these wimmins.
And can that generalization be flipped round and suggested that maybe there are girls who go out on a night out wanting to do "the business" with any aul bit of riff raff bloke that approaches, no?
Madness.

I meant lads that are out on the pull, not all lads.

leahyl

Can't believe the cheek of some girls! There is no way I would ever ask a guy to buy me a drink! Even if he offered to buy me one I'd be very slow to accept.

ALiasEX

The Corinthian wrote: »

Some cultures, like the USA, where it's still commonplace for men to pay for everything in a romantic context, you can have women use the 'will you buy me a drink' because they want to get to know you and it's one of the few socially acceptable ways for her to approach you.

However, in Europe, where we're far less schizophrenic about equality of the genders, pretty much the only reason that a woman will try to pull that stunt is because she's a parasite, looking to get idiots to shell out for her, in return for her being willing to talk to them* - basically, it's a classic short-con and you're the mark.

I say idiots, because as men we really should take some responsibility for this scam. It's easy enough that here we're all happy to recount tales of such evil women, but it's clear that enough men fall for this to make it a common enough practice. One skill that we don't seem to be taught growing up, is to spot such scams and control our gullibility - as boys we're taught to control our emotions and not cry, but apparently never to control our libido and not bankroll the first bit of skirt that talks to us. As the expression goes; only enough blood to power either our dick or our brain, but not at the same time.

Fortunately such women are a small minority; it's already been mentioned by those who worked in bars here that it was always the same small number who pulled this stunt. So, the reality is that you can afford to reject and ignore them. Actually you're better off as all they intend to do is waste your time as they empty your pockets; time you could be spending looking for a woman who actually likes you.

So guys, stop complaining about them, because ultimately you're the one's who enable them and their behaviour. Use what's between your ears, not what's between your legs.





* The offer of a drink for company is only found in one other place; brothels. If you live on the continent, in a country like Germany or Holland, where prostitution is legal, you'll know that the moment you sit down in such an establishment, the women will solicit the men to buy them 'lady drinks' (typically an overpriced drink, where the prostitute gets to keep a percentage of the cost), in return for their company.

Blame the victim? And are you saying all men think with their dick or just the ones that fall for this scam?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

where are the victims in this scenario? no one's holding a gun to anybodys head and forcing them to buy drinks. requests are being made and some men are stupid/desperate enough to comply. it's all a result of free choice.

Balaclava1991

Dean0088 wrote: »

So, this has happened to me a few times and I'm starting to think I look like an easy mark to scam or whatever. Either that, or I'm missing something.

In nightclub at bar buying a round of drinks. Suddenly approached by nice girl, all smiles, eye lashes... etc.

Then SHE asks if I'm going to buy her a drink.

Then I say "Ha Ha....no" and normally turn back to my friends or maybe just stand there and let awkwardness hang in the sweaty, stale air.

Am I right in assuming this is some kind of ploy to get free drinks?

I've known none of these girls btw. Just a cold approach and a request for a drink.... :pac:

Not something I've over analysed before - but its happened a lot recently and I'm starting to think I'm missing some new kind of exploitative flirting trend. :pac: :eek:

On a night out never never never NEVER offer to buy drink or comply with a request for a drink.

Attractive women are being hit on all the time by men and most of it is unwanted attention because she just wants to go out with her friends, have a few drinks, dance and have fun.
When a woman is younger and naive she is delighted by male attention and thinks it's because these men are really nice.
Later after she has had her heart broken a few times she realizes all these men are trying to get into her pants.
So she figures that she might as well take advantage of them if they are trying to take advantage of her and use them for free drinks.
Many beautiful women never have to spend a cent on drinks or dinner because it is given to them for free by men.
The top models and singers and actress and female celebrities are PAID to wear the latest fashions and visit fashionable clubs.
So NEVER buy a girl a drink. EVER. Unless she buys you a drink FIRST.

There is great clip on youtube in which the comedian Chris Rock lays it all out.
If he says if you ask a girl for the time, if you comment on her looks, if you ask her to dance, if you offer to buy her a drink etc etc etc you might as well be saying "Do you want to have sex?"


I have always found that if you are on a night out and you ignore these women and treat them like utter dogsh*t they will actually want to get to know you.

ALiasEX

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

where are the victims in this scenario? no one's holding a gun to anybodys head and forcing them to buy drinks. requests are being made and some men are stupid/desperate enough to comply. it's all a result of free choice.

victim: a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/victim

But is playing on someones assumptions being dishonest or not?

Daveysil15

Balaclava1991 wrote: »

I have always found that if you are on a night out and you ignore these women and treat them like utter dogsh*t they will actually want to get to know you.

Treat them mean, keep them keen? Although if you're ignoring them I don't see how that would work.

beks101

Balaclava1991 wrote: »

I have always found that if you are on a night out and you ignore these women and treat them like utter dogsh*t they will actually want to get to know you.

Or you could just, you know, give a wide berth? Not entertain them, decline offers to buy a drink and move on with your life?

I've got plenty of stunningly gorgeous friends who haven't learned to trade on and "take advantage" of their looks in this kind of a rude, embarrassing way, I'm truly shocked by the many accounts on this thread and can only deduce that age and venue are the determining factors here. From my experience as a woman, late 20s, fairly social, having drank in countless pubs and clubs for about a decade right across the world and back, I've just never witnessed anything like it.

clairefontaine

Dean0088 wrote: »

So, this has happened to me a few times and I'm starting to think I look like an easy mark to scam or whatever. Either that, or I'm missing something.

In nightclub at bar buying a round of drinks. Suddenly approached by nice girl, all smiles, eye lashes... etc.

Then SHE asks if I'm going to buy her a drink.

Then I say "Ha Ha....no" and normally turn back to my friends or maybe just stand there and let awkwardness hang in the sweaty, stale air.

Am I right in assuming this is some kind of ploy to get free drinks?

I've known none of these girls btw. Just a cold approach and a request for a drink.... :pac:

Not something I've over analysed before - but its happened a lot recently and I'm starting to think I'm missing some new kind of exploitative flirting trend. :pac: :eek:

I'm going to ignore most of the women bashing posts on this thread, which has remarkable stayed open, and simply advise you to say " no thank you."