Moving out prank/general bastardness

SV

So here's the deal, I'm moving out of my current house at the end of next month and I'm looking for some way to annoy the one remaining housemate there.

Why? Well I think everyone who has moved out had that one annoying housemate, this guy is the ultimate one and I can't just let it go.

I've got one month, any ideas?

banquo

Fish inside the curtain pole.

They will never[/] be able to trace the source of the smell.

Mr. Chrome

Sprinkle grass seeds on a carpet and wet it. You'll have a nice lawn carpet by the time you move out :-)

SweepTheLeg

Say goodbye and wish him all the best. No point ending on a sour note with a stupid prank which could end up being dangerous.

Frosty McSnowballs

Microwave a poo before you leave. Then spread it under the corner of the carpet.

SV

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

Say goodbye and wish him all the best. No point ending on a sour note with a stupid prank which could end up being dangerous.

That's an awful prank.

Mr. Chrome

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Microwave a poo before you leave. Then spread it under the corner of the carpet.

I know a guy who was asked to leave a house party because he was acting the knob, so he shat on a plate and put it in the microwave and set it for 15 minutes.
The smell ended the party :-D
We call him the party pooper!

wotswattage

A top decker. Crap in the cistern it could be there for months!!

ArnoldJRimmer

I knew people who shared a house with an absolutely insufferable pr!ck. He seemed to relish the fact that they hated him and point blank refused to move out. He was such a knob that even the landlord couldn't stand him, so the other 3 housemates got the landlord to agree to a fake eviction. All 4 packed up everything they had, but 3 of them were 'delayed' with the lifts they were waiting for. They said goodbye to the pr!ck, and as soon as he was out the door, they unpacked and got someone else to move in. He copped on a few weeks later when he went back for the post, but at that stage it was too late

Ihatecuddles-old

wotswattage wrote: »

A top decker. Crap in the cistern it could be there for months!!

First thing that came into my head, before I even opened the thread

ButtersSuki

Ones I've heard:

You could stick his toothbrush up your ass every day for the last month......not that I condone this of course, but I do know someone who did this to a particularly nasty person before they left a shared house. The "victim" will never know but you will.....

Or just gently brush your bum bum with it if insertion isn't your thing.

As previously posted fish/frozen prawns in curtain rails is a classic but do not do this until your very last day!

You could also remove a socket from a wall and place a poo inside the cavity and replace the socket.

Poo in butter: empty butter out of the tub. Poo in tub. Carefully replace, cover and shape butter around poo. Replace kid, place in fridge and leave quickly!

Spill milk on the carpet under his bed. As it sours it will stink.

Overheal

Mr. Chrome wrote: »

I know a guy who was asked to leave a house party because he was acting the knob, so he shat on a plate and put it in the microwave and set it for 15 minutes.
The smell ended the party :-D
We call him the party pooper!

even though that isnt true at all thats still a good one

Diageio_Man

Put a sh!t in the freezer, then grate it all over the place like carpets sofas etc with a cheese grater. Could be a messy job but he'll never get rid of it.

Sea Sharp

Pour some milk into the bottom of kitchen bin and on the top of the cupboards.

endacl

It's been a while since one of these threads.... The "Here's what you should do. I never actually would, and I know you won't either OP" type thread.

How about you leave something behind of yours that you know your housemate would appreciate, wish them all the best, and leave like a grown up. They'll never expect that of somebody who would start one of these particularly cringeworthy AH threads. It'd have their head wrecked for months.

Unless your housemate is the type to respond to one of these threads in the predictable 'leave something smelly behind' manner. If we're talking about that kind of housemate, chloroform them while they sleep, full the house with animal carcasses, and brick up every door and window. Leave scary music playing and strobe lights flashing.

AH enough...?

Mr. Chrome

Overheal wrote: »

even though that isnt true at all thats still a good one

It happened, I was there! The guy is a bit of a sick fcuk.
I notice alot of the posts involve fecal matter!

SV

endacl wrote: »

It's been a while since one of these threads.... The "Here's what you should do. I never actually would, and I know you won't either OP" type thread.

How about you leave something behind of yours that you know your housemate would appreciate, wish them all the best, and leave like a grown up. They'll never expect that of somebody who would start one of these particularly cringeworthy AH threads. It'd have their head wrecked for months.

Unless your housemate is the type to respond to one of these threads in the predictable 'leave something smelly behind' manner. If we're talking about that kind of housemate, chloroform them while they sleep, full the house with animal carcasses, and brick up every door and window. Leave scary music playing and strobe lights flashing.

AH enough...?

I work nights, this guy bangs on my door and roars shouting 'WAKE UP SV WAKE UP' when he comes in on his lunch break and I'm fast asleep, amongst many other things, as he thinks it's funny. If you I'm going to be taking the mature approach then you're sorely fcking mistaken.

Canis Lupus

Leave a dead body under the floorboards and then frame your exflatmates.

Edit: just saw what he does to you.

Turd into his food in the kitchen is all I can come up with at this hour.

wonski

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Ones I've heard:

You could stick his toothbrush up your ass every day for the last month......not that I condone this of course, but I do know someone who did this to a particularly nasty person before they left a shared house. The "victim" will never know but you will.....

Or just gently brush your bum bum with it if insertion isn't your thing.

You can always take a picture of the same and send him an email with attachments few weeks later;)

CrazyJoe

Tape some eggs to the roof of some hidden area the day you leave.
The tape should give way a a few days later. Hold onto some mature eggs for a better effect

Karl Stein

Dress up as a sexy rabbit and seduce him..

Aotearoa

lift the top off the toilet and **** in on top of the cistern. that way he will be flushing **** in on top of ****. #winning

Royal Irish

Put a little bit of your piss into his shower gel and shampoo.

Royal Irish

Or your sperm if your a dirty git.

ButtersSuki

wonski wrote: »

You can always take a picture of the same and send him an email with attachments few weeks later;)

And end up in court.....

padd b1975

Pour a bottle of Mi Wadi into the attic tank, its takes months for the discoloured water to flush itself out.

Rubberchikken

just leave with your head up.
be the bigger man/woman, and let him there in all his prickness:D

Teyla Emmagan

Most of these suggestions involve damaging someone else's property i.e. the landlord's. And it will probably be the landlord who ends up clearing it all up, or one of the other housemates stuck living there.

Just move out and forget about the prick.

Royale with Cheese

There's quite a lot of talk of shít in here. Who really wants to shít onto a plate and then have to spread it on the carpet etc? Sounds as bad for you as it would be for them.

I lived with three other people last year, hated two of them. Said goodbye to the one I liked and then just packed up and left happy in the knowledge I'd never have to see the other two again. If I'd seen the other two on the day I left I'd probably have managed a one word bye but that's about it. Don't be nice to somebody you hate for the sake of trying to do the mature thing. That's just false and shít advice. Pack your shít up and leave and then never talk to them again.

tritium

Leave a loud alarm clock radio behind set for 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am etc. Hide it in your bedroom then lock the door. Battery rather than mains operated is best...

Plazaman

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

Say goodbye and wish him all the best. No point ending on a sour note with a stupid prank which could end up being dangerous.

SV wrote: »

That's an awful prank.

I disagree, I think it would be a fantastic jape to play as he probably knows you think he's a prick so when you say goodbye without the obligatory prank, he'll get all paranoid. Day by day it will fester within him as he tears the house apart looking for hidden poo. Not finding anything he will slowly decend into a spiral of paranoid delusions that will eventually end up a few months later with him cracking up and running naked through a supermarket with raw chickens on his hands and carrots sellotaped like horns to his head.

The Garda rapid response unit will be called and as they will not be able to understand why he is shouting "where did he hide the shít?" they will have to taser him and send him for psychiatric evaluation to the Central Mental Hospital.

Flash backwards to the day after you moved out where you went to Coppers to pick up a Nurse and as you seduce her for the following few months you will convince her to secret one of your bum loaves into a dinner and deliver it to said chap locked up in the nut house. Make sure you write "Fúck you Freddie (or whatever his name is) on the bottom of the plate and once he finds it he'll flip out so much that a junior doctor on a 36 hour shift will try to administer a sedative but will give him way too much which will leave him a bit permanent spazzed like McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoos nest.

That'll teach him.

Cork selfbuild

Just remove all the fuses from the plugs all over the house!

Why does everything have to involve bodily fluids (or not so fluids)

Why can't it be a fun prank? Not that I can think of any right now, but surely someone has something creative to say that isn't pure filth

AnonoBoy

Ring the cops and tell them he's a blonde child living with a Roma family. Hilarity will ensue.

CardBordWindow

Take the door of his room off. Remove the hinges, and put them on the top of the door. Re-attach.
Now he has a giant cat flap. Highly annoying for the 'cat' but great to watch in operation.

gw80

SV wrote: »

I work nights, this guy bangs on my door and roars shouting 'WAKE UP SV WAKE UP' when he comes in on his lunch break and I'm fast asleep, amongst many other things, as he thinks it's funny. If you I'm going to be taking the mature approach then you're sorely fcking mistaken.

TBH, completly your fault maybe next time grow a backbone, he should only have done that once, instead of crying under your pillow you should have confronted said prick straight away.

wotswattage

wotswattage wrote: »

A top decker. Crap in the cistern it could be there for months!!

Why stop there? Hit him with a triple decker, get up into the attic and drop a deuce into the water tank. You could even make a few trips up.

Would be a few days and nights of showering and brushing teeth before anyone thinks to look in the water tank.

Ray Palmer

Most things here seem to involve destroying landlords property not revenge on the housemate

Cienciano

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Poo in butter: empty butter out of the tub. Poo in tub. Carefully replace, cover and shape butter around poo. Replace kid, place in fridge and leave quickly!

That is brilliant!

padd b1975 wrote: »

Pour a bottle of Mi Wadi into the attic tank, its takes months for the discoloured water to flush itself out.

That sounds like a great idea tbh, mi wadi on tap? Might empty a bottle into my own water tank

Cienciano

gw80 wrote: »

TBH, completly your fault maybe next time grow a backbone, he should only have done that once, instead of crying under your pillow you should have confronted said prick straight away.

He's confronting him now. Through the medium of **** in the microwave

Moneymaker

And this thread simply proves why i'd never share a place.

Christ some of you people are vindictive and nasty.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

The cups of water one is great, particularly if you have stairs. Get lots of cups and fill with water. Leave the cups very close together all the way doen the stairs or on his bedroom floor. Hilarious.

hoodwinked

SV wrote: »

I work nights, this guy bangs on my door and roars shouting 'WAKE UP SV WAKE UP' when he comes in on his lunch break and I'm fast asleep, amongst many other things, as he thinks it's funny. If you I'm going to be taking the mature approach then you're sorely fcking mistaken.

what you need is a like for like prank,

tritium wrote: »

Leave a loud alarm clock radio behind set for 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am etc. Hide it in your bedroom then lock the door. Battery rather than mains operated is best...

this is good, but here is what i'd do,


you know when he sleeps? buy a few of those €1 alarm clocks from the Euro shop (as many as you feel he deserves it will be worth the investment)

set them in different areas around the house.. attic, understairs,start under his bed..etc im assuming when he's asleep the house is quiet, but set them 3-5 minutes apart, so when he wakes up with the noise of one he ends up spending his night walking around the house trying to find where the noise is coming from,

then do the above! (aka have the last one in the locked bedroom)


also if you would like add a post it to the second last alarm clock (the last one he'll have access to) with the words "'WAKE UP <insert his name> WAKE UP'


like for like vengeance! :pac:

Sofaspud

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

Say goodbye and wish him all the best.

I agree, do this.





And then roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!

Wossack

do that microwave prank from Under Siege

Mince Pie

hoodwinked wrote: »

what you need is a like for like prank,




this is good, but here is what i'd do,


you know when he sleeps? buy a few of those €1 alarm clocks from the Euro shop (as many as you feel he deserves it will be worth the investment)

set them in different areas around the house.. attic, understairs,start under his bed..etc im assuming when he's asleep the house is quiet, but set them 3-5 minutes apart, so when he wakes up with the noise of one he ends up spending his night walking around the house trying to find where the noise is coming from,

then do the above! (aka have the last one in the locked bedroom)


also if you would like add a post it to the second last alarm clock (the last one he'll have access to) with the words "'WAKE UP <insert his name> WAKE UP'


like for like vengeance! :pac:

Oh this and spread lego on the floor of the bedroom for added pain when he gets up to go looking for said alarms. Remove shoes or slippers.

endacl

endacl wrote: »

AH enough...?

Nope. Kill his parents and feed them back to him in a delicious chilli.

CardBordWindow

Turn off the electricity at the circuit breaker. Unscrew the lightswitch in his room and join the two wires. Put everything back together and turn back on the power.
Now he won't be able to turn off his light!

splashthecash

CardBordWindow wrote: »

Turn off the electricity at the circuit breaker. Unscrew the lightswitch in his room and join the two wires. Put everything back together and turn back on the power.
Now he won't be able to turn off his light!

Seems like to much work to me...

CardBordWindow

splashthecash wrote: »

Seems like to much work to me...

It's a lot less effort than most of the ones that involve fecal matter!