The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

robindch

A reddit user asks "What's the most intellectual joke you know?"

Over 10,000 replies ensue.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4w3n71/whats_the_most_intellectual_joke_you_know/?limit=500

MrPudding

Deleted User wrote: »

Whereas my school made us go to such things

Also my experience.

MrP

robindch

MrPudding wrote: »

Also my experience.

Same here - religion was a mandatory activity in primary and secondary school.

Lithium93_

Deleted User wrote: »

Whereas my school made us go to such things

I can relate to this, we had a chaplain in our secondary school for 6 years, we only had her from 1st year through to I think 3rd year, ye gads overbearing would be an understatement, weekly one on ones, trying to drum up interest in trips to Knock, devoutly religious through and through, and if you'd dare disagree with her opinion/ or even disparage the Catholic Church, you'd be forced to stand outside the classroom, or be sent down to the vice principal's office....


The TL;DR, she thought the church was perfect, everyone else was wrong and going to burn in hell..

Worztron

Too big to show here but here's the image link: http://cdn.csectioncomics.com/csectioncomics/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/2015-07-30-first-man-70p.jpg

smacl

smacl

54and56

Apologies if this was already posted but it totally sums up my view of christianity and organised religion in general.

Worztron

Classic Hitchens.

smacl

Slightly off topic, but still woo related

Worztron

54and56

So true, particularly of all the a la carte Catholics I know.

Worztron

Cabaal

Cabaal

Catholics appealing to the young* people



As already pointed out on Broadsheet.ie, it really does look like Melisandre

*Young people are 18-40 year olds??

Its all rocking at their facebook page....its not a properly set up page so you can't like it, but they do have zero friends. https://www.facebook.com/deus.patria

Peregrinus

Cabaal wrote: »

*Young people are 18-40 year olds??

Not far off. Median age in Ireland is 36.1.

Forty is the new twenty. Or something.

Absolam

Any chance fifty is the new twenty five then? That'd be nice...

lawred2

Cabaal wrote: »

Catholics appealing to the young* people



As already pointed out on Broadsheet.ie, it really does look like Melisandre

*Young people are 18-40 year olds??

Its all rocking at their facebook page....its not a properly set up page so you can't like it, but they do have zero friends. https://www.facebook.com/deus.patria

Is 40 old to you or something?

magicbastarder

https://twitter.com/patrickcullen01/status/767851532880674820

magicbastarder

lawred2 wrote: »

Is 40 old to you or something?

i'm 40, and there's nothing like making you feel old than talking to an 18 year old about music or film.

AstraMonti

Spot the mistake and win free holy water.

Cabaal

lawred2 wrote: »

Is 40 old to you or something?

Early Adulthood (Ages 20-35)
Midlife (Ages 35-50)

So a 40 year old is most certainly not a young adult!

lawred2

Cabaal wrote: »

Early Adulthood (Ages 20-35)
Midlife (Ages 35-50)

So a 40 year old is most certainly not a young adult!

did you just make those delimiters up?

It doesn't matter. 40 is not young, it is most assuredly middle age.

18-35 is where even companies target "young adults"

lawred2

I've just realised I don't care

In the context of Irish Catholics - a case could be argued for anyone sub 50 being "a young adult"

LeinsterDub

AstraMonti wrote: »

Spot the mistake and win free holy water.

Jesus is on the cross while also being a baby?

AstraMonti

LeinsterDub wrote: »

Jesus is on the cross while also being a baby?

You win a liter of holy water. tell me the address to send it

sbsquarepants

If you dilute holy water, does it get less holy?

lawred2

sbsquarepants wrote: »

If you dilute holy water, does it get less holy?

no.. it works on the same principles upon which homeopathy is based

magicbastarder

or maybe it's like homeopathy - the more you dilute it, the more potent it becomes.

sbsquarepants

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony, and there outside the jacks stacked up like in a pub cellar was about 6 or 7 little kegs of holly water!
Who knew you could get holly water by the keg?

lawred2

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony, and there outside the jacks stacked up like in a pub cellar was about 6 or 7 little kegs of holly water!
Who knew you could get holly water by the keg?

sure you could get a priest to bless a lake if you like..

AstraMonti

sbsquarepants wrote: »

If you dilute holy water, does it get less holy?

It seems to apply only for the Orthodox kind! ( I was just happen to read that a couple of hours ago and laughing at the sh1t they make up all the time)

Google translate page

magicbastarder

so in all probability, the oceans of the world are holy. last time i take a piss in the sea.

LeinsterDub

AstraMonti wrote: »

You win a liter of holy water. tell me the address to send it

It's a bit warm today. Can I have holy ice instead?

magicbastarder

that raises a question. at what point does holiness lose its structural integrity? do we have to go to steam or even plasma for that?

LeinsterDub

magicbastarder wrote: »

that raises a question. at what point does holiness lose its structural integrity? do we have to go to steam or even plasma for that?

Does heavy water count too?

Hotblack Desiato

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony

Churches have toilets now?

AstraMonti

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Churches have toilets now?

Where do you think "Holy ****" go?

oscarBravo

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony, and there outside the jacks stacked up like in a pub cellar was about 6 or 7 little kegs of holly water!
Who knew you could get holly water by the keg?

It's literally on tap in Knock.

Skrynesaver

https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/2xuoga/what_if_a_catholic_priest_were_to_just_bless_the/

Interesting questions about the effective bless range of various clerics

Hotblack Desiato

Skrynesaver wrote: »

https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/2xuoga/what_if_a_catholic_priest_were_to_just_bless_the/

Interesting questions about the effective bless range of various clerics

Could apply that to blessing the road too. In theory one blessing of sufficient power would cover the entire road network of the island.

Timberrrrrrrr

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Could apply that to blessing the road too. In theory one blessing of sufficient power would cover the entire road network of the island.

Always makes me cringe when I see the pictures in the papers of them doing that.

PopePalpatine

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Could apply that to blessing the road too. In theory one blessing of sufficient power would cover the entire road network of the island.

What class of relic would they need for that? :pac:

looksee

PopePalpatine wrote: »

What class of relic would they need for that? :pac:

A Ford Prefect maybe?

Cabaal

magicbastarder wrote: »

that raises a question. at what point does holiness lose its structural integrity? do we have to go to steam or even plasma for that?

Perhaps a question for the christian forum?
Can there be such a thing as holy ice or holy steam?

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

Timberrrrrrrr

Cabaal wrote: »

Perhaps a question for the christian forum?
Can there be such a thing as holy ice or holy steam?

Well if the big fella can be father/son/holy ghost and can impregnate himself into Mary so he can be born and then die to sit at his own right hand side then I reckon holy water/ice/steam would be a piece of piss for him

looksee

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Own-Holy-Water

I especially like the pagan holy water.

recedite

Some holy steam must evaporate, therefore the air we breathe must be holy.
That must be why the earth's atmosphere makes a kind of halo effect when seen from outer space (which is god's view of it)
It all makes sense now dude, it must be all true!