Mothers day coming up on sunday

ilovesleep

Its just another hallmark day like valentines in my opinion. Will you be getting something for your mother.

I'm not so sure if I'll be. You see she has nothing more but contempt for me because i will not submit to her control and domination. Right now it's financial control and domination. Its just another another form of control and domination that was always but in a different way. She views her sons as valuable, that must be provided for and views me and my sister as something that owes her because she gave birth to us and raised us and because we were born without a penis. She doesn't want me at home but wont give the same opportunities that she gave to her lads - spend their money in any way they want, and save whats left over and provide them with more money from any savings she had. An automatic rent she thinks shes entitled to from those born without a penis. From a wage already reduced from work and the rest soaked up and absorbed by bills her lads never had to pay for.

danslevent

....I love my Mammy.

Skid X

This thread isn't really about Mothers' Day, is it?

PinkFly

Personal Issues that way

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>

Dunny

Tight bollix, get your ma something for fs if only even a card like.

ilovesleep

All the cards in town says things like..

'to the best mother in the world'

'mum, i love you'

and other such stuff.

Maybe if i had a penis, it might be true

4zn76tysfajdxp

ilovesleep wrote: »

Its just another hallmark day like valentines in my opinion. Will you be getting something for your mother.

I'm not so sure if I'll be. You see she has nothing more but contempt for me because i will not submit to her control and domination. Right now it's financial control and domination. Its just another another form of control and domination that was always but in a different way. She views her sons as valuable, that must be provided for and views me and my sister as something that owes her because she gave birth to us and raised us and because we were born without a penis. She doesn't want me at home but wont give the same opportunities that she gave to her lads - spend their money in any way they want, and save whats left over and provide them with more money from any savings she had. An automatic rent she thinks shes entitled to from those born without a penis. From a wage already reduced from work and the rest soaked up and absorbed by bills her lads never had to pay for.

Waaaaaaaaaaa!

IM0

so in short you dont like your mother

HondaSami

OP give your mother a break one day of the year, buy her some flowers and try be a bit grateful. If you are a mother yourself some day then you can be the best mother in the world.
Some mothers are crap but then again some kids are crap as well.

ilovesleep

Billy Kendo wrote: »

This thread isn't really about Mothers' Day, is it?

Other years I used to acknowledge the day, but why bother?

Xenophile

I love my Mammy too.

She would not like to see Hallmark get some extra revenue because of my love.

DEFTLEFTHAND

That doesn't sound good at all. You should try and get away from her, you're an adult I presume so she's no right in trying to control your life.

Xenophile

On the lighter side!

Mothers day should really be celebrated 9 months after Father's night.

ilovesleep

HondaSami wrote: »

OP give your mother a break one day of the year, buy her some flowers and try be a bit grateful. If you are a mother yourself some day then you can be the best mother in the world.
Some mothers are crap but then again some kids are crap as well.

This is a nice post. Cheers.

She absolutely hates me though. She has shown me my place and I'm nothing to her but a financial slave. She's only ever happy with me whenever I'm handing up money to her.

IM0

Im fairly sure Ive developed dyslexia as a result of trying to read that bloc

PizzamanIRL

I learned two things from your thread.

1. You obviously don't have kids so you don't know what its like to raise one.

2. You're an ungrateful bitch.

HondaSami

ilovesleep wrote: »

This is a nice post. Cheers.

She absolutely hates me though. She has shown me my place and I'm nothing to her but a financial slave. She's only ever happy with me whenever I'm handing up money to her.

You can change that anytime you want, if she is so bad get away from her.
I will go see my mom on Sunday and she will not know my name, if you can make amends with your mom then do.

admiralofthefleet

buy her a card ffs op, they are 3 for €2 in the euroshop if your on a budget

Lisha

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I learned two things from your thread.

1. You obviously don't have kids so you don't know what its like to raise one.

2. You're an ungrateful bitch.

Think that is out of order.
I know of one girl in particular whose mother actively dislikes her . Sounds impossible but some mothers are crap.

No one know ops situation so a reaction like yours is not necessary

ilovesleep

Her sons could sh1t into a piece of tin-foil and wrap it up and it would be perfect and so precious. I could go all out and what ever gift I get would be returned.

sfwcork

Maybe you should sh!t into tin foil so and give it to her

sfwcork

Am i the only1 who s wondering

"Hmmm woman with mammy issues..that means she needs a daddy"

0ph0rce0

I don't gotta buy ****...happy days.

My mama be dead

ilovesleep

HondaSami wrote: »

You can change that anytime you want, if she is so bad get away from her.
I will go see my mom on Sunday and she will not know my name, if you can make amends with your mom then do.

I would love to make amends. Believe me. How? With money? Gender change?

HondaSami

ilovesleep wrote: »

I would love to make amends. Believe me. How? With money? Gender change?

Serious question

If she is that bad why do you stick around? you still live with her?
Cut all contact get on your own life, she is not worth it if she causes you this much anger.

CathyMoran

My mother in law died very recently so I am seeing the heartache of my husband as well as the pain of her loss myself. I am also a mother of two very young children. I feel that it has been over commercialised and is tacky at this stage - my children are the best thing to me about mothers day as they and my husband are my everything.

phasers

I love my Mam, I gave her the money to get her hair cut the other day and I'll probably get her some flowers and take her out to lunch on the actual day.

But then again I do that most weeks anyway, and my Brothers and Sister spoil her rotten too. Every day is Mother's day for my Mammy

ilovesleep

HondaSami wrote: »

Serious question

If she is that bad why do you stick around? you still live with her?
Cut all contact get on your own life, she is not worth it if she causes you this much anger.

Not so much anger. Pure stress. A feeling of lowness and nothingness & I'd be better of dead. She'd be happy with me then.

I was renting away before. I thought maybe when gone she'd change because her income would drop from rent. I thought maybe she would start taking rent of her boys or something for their keep but no. She struggled to do provide for her adult sons. She me to me then for 'loans'. All written off because in her eyes I owed her.

Eventually i fell down upon my ass. Work reduced. Wage reduced from 400 to 200 a week & I struggled. She encouraged me home & she only ever saw me as a money making exercise. Just a means for her to make money. I help when I could. I gave her my rent deposit. & help with bills & happily to do so. In time weekly rent was demanded of me & still is.

ilovesleep

Her sons earning more than me and one on the very same as me - nothing was demanded of them.

I live in a rural village. and work locally. I can only afford shared accommadation and that's only available in the city. Public transport has been cut and is very poor with no late buses so getting to work would be okay but from work back into the city - there is no bus. My job which has been so good for me and to me - am seriously considering giving up just to move away.

My mother assaulted me yesterday morning. Not physically. She was in a mood which I sensed straight away after waking and she attacked me shouting. A pure rage in her.

Dwork

ilovesleep wrote: »

All the cards in town says things like..

'to the best mother in the world'

'mum, i love you'

and other such stuff.

Maybe if i had a penis, it might be true

Hang around for a bit. When the Stalkers figure out you're a girl, you'll have loads.:D I do get what you're on about though, some auld wans are controlling cnuts. You gots to fight the power:D Mines a right old cow, luckily she has as much influence over me as the local Bishop. Our usual conversations end somwhere around the "Foff Uck" point. I'll get her flowers and a card just to annoy her.:)"To the bestest mammy in the world"Pfffft.

spankysue

OP, you keep referring to "Her sons", are they your brothers? That's quite a nasty way to refer to your siblings if they are.

Just 'cause your mother likes them more, that's not their fault.

And tell your ma to go fcuk herself, simple as that.

seven_eleven

Am I the only one who hates mothers day, fathers day, birthdays, and every other day where you're expected to buy somebody for someone, while they have to put on a half assed display of appreciation when really they couldnt care less?

Abi

ilovesleep wrote: »

Its just another hallmark day like valentines in my opinion. Will you be getting something for your mother.

I'm not so sure if I'll be. You see she has nothing more but contempt for me because i will not submit to her control and domination. Right now it's financial control and domination. Its just another another form of control and domination that was always but in a different way. She views her sons as valuable, that must be provided for and views me and my sister as something that owes her because she gave birth to us and raised us and because we were born without a penis. She doesn't want me at home but wont give the same opportunities that she gave to her lads - spend their money in any way they want, and save whats left over and provide them with more money from any savings she had. An automatic rent she thinks shes entitled to from those born without a penis. From a wage already reduced from work and the rest soaked up and absorbed by bills her lads never had to pay for.

Irish mammy syndrome, and you can join the queue. Daughters are still getting this shít, but you learn how to deal with it. A wonderful start to this process is moving out, and never, ever move back in.

However, because you still live with her you are going to have to buy her a card or make one, because if you don't.. well. She'll be on the war path with you for some time. And don't make the mistake of thinking she'd get over it.

Irish mammies have the longest term memories, but can forget what they want at will.

Save yourself the headache, just buy her a pound shop card and fire her a bunch of daffodils. It will buy you some more survival time under that roof.

ilovesleep

spankysue wrote: »

OP, you keep referring to "Her sons", are they your brothers? That's quite a nasty way to refer to your siblings if they are.

Just 'cause your mother likes them more, that's not their fault.

And tell your ma to go fcuk herself, simple as that.

My brothers are brillant. They are so good and they mean the world to me. I know her smothering them is not their fault.

Two broke away recently out abroad and have emerigrated but it only happened because she gave them the opportunities to do so with money and provided more for them.
Right up until the day they left, they went out on the tear and had everything handed to them on a plate. She never eyed up any savings or their spending money or drinking money as money that should be going into her pockets.

Whereas every cent I earn and spend is eyed up as something that should be payed to her.

Boombastic

ilovesleep wrote: »

All the cards in town says things like..

'to the best mother in the world'

'mum, i love you'

and other such stuff.

Maybe if i had a penis, it might be true

Would you present her with your penis for mothers day?? :pac:


I got my mam a card and pressie, posted them 2 weeks ago. I'm usually either mad late or mad early with these kinds of things. got in first this year, make my other siblings look bad I'm the favourite now :P

hatrickpatrick

OP, if you don't get on with either of your parents then make your most urgent and prioritized goal to get out of their everyday lives as quickly and as completely as possible.

Seriously, I've seen people get utterly destroyed by such toxic parental relationships. Totally not worth it.

ilovesleep

Abi wrote: »

Irish mammy syndrome, and you can join the queue. Daughters are still getting this shít, but you learn how to deal with it. A wonderful start to this process is moving out, and never, ever move back in.

However, because you still live with her you are going to have to buy her a card or make one, because if you don't.. well. She'll be on the war path with you for some time. And don't make the mistake of thinking she'd get over it.

Irish mammies have the longest term memories, but can forget what they want at will.

Save yourself the headache, just buy her a pound shop card and fire her a bunch of daffodils. It will buy you some more survival time under that roof.

Cheers. Yeah. Ok. Flowers it is, so that she doesn't get another opportunity at returning or recycling any gift I give her.

Ruudi_Mentari

but she only had a birthday last wk?!

my gift will be not to annoy her. and to make sure cholestorol tablets and gin are topped up... and of course 7-up.

The Big Red Button

ilovesleep wrote: »

My brothers are brillant. They are so good and they mean the world to me. I know her smothering them is not their fault.

Two broke away recently out abroad and have emerigrated but it only happened because she gave them the opportunities to do so with money and provided more for them.
Right up until the day they left, they went out on the tear and had everything handed to them on a plate. She never eyed up any savings or their spending money or drinking money as money that should be going into her pockets.

Whereas every cent I earn and spend is eyed up as something that should be payed to her.

It's funny, you definitely sound like your mother's daughter!

Your brothers are amazing, nothing's their fault, sure they didn't know any better.

An Irish Mammy in training yerself!

Lone Stone

well i for one am glad that some one reminded me of the coming mother's day.
thanks !

hatrickpatrick

If there's one life goal I plan on prioritizing more than any other it's to be 100% supportive of all my kids. I don't have a toxic relationship with my parents but I have been talked out of a lot of things which could have been really amazing by them and to this day I still resent that. I've vowed to pursue my goals regardless of naysaying, but as I'm sure some of you have experienced, my parents a lot of the time used to be the type who will use any excuse to rain on your parade any time you get remotely excited or optimistic about something.
I don't really blame them for it tbh, I more feel sorry for them for having such a negative outlook, but the fact that I let it rub off on me is something which caused me to make silly mistakes that'll haunt me for a long time. Never again.

(When I say rain on your parade I mean that any time you'd start getting happy or optimistic about something they'd be the ones who'd pick holes in it until your balloon was totally deflated - from big to little things, even in ridiculous terms like when you'd look forward to a garden party at a mate's house and they'd be like "It's probably going to piss rain". Can't speak for anyone else but that kind of negativity really screwed me up for a while.)

Lenin Skynard

Three Easter eggs for a fiver in Dunnes. Happy Mother's Day/Easter mammy!

spankysue

ilovesleep wrote: »

My brothers are brillant. They are so good and they mean the world to me. I know her smothering them is not their fault.

Two broke away recently out abroad and have emerigrated but it only happened because she gave them the opportunities to do so with money and provided more for them.
Right up until the day they left, they went out on the tear and had everything handed to them on a plate. She never eyed up any savings or their spending money or drinking money as money that should be going into her pockets.

Whereas every cent I earn and spend is eyed up as something that should be payed to her.

Honestly then, I would tell her to go fcuk herself and move out, I know it's tough with no money but even sleep on a friend's couch until you get a place.

Some people are just miserable bastards and if they won't change, then they should just be left to themselves to wallow in their own misery.

ilovesleep

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

OP, if you don't get on with either of your parents then make your most urgent and prioritized goal to get out of their everyday lives as quickly and as completely as possible.

Seriously, I've seen people get utterly destroyed by such toxic parental relationships. Totally not worth it.

My dad isn't at home any more. He left a long time ago.

Something that clicked with me today. She told me many times he was a violent man. I know he was seriously flawed and he cheated. I remember very young waking many times in the night, to find her shouting and screaming outside his bedroom door. If he was so violent, why would she risk taking a violent man down upon her by shouting and screaming at him? Why was he hiding in a locked up room. Only that he revolted in response to her.

Abi

ilovesleep wrote: »

Cheers. Yeah. Ok. Flowers it is, so that she doesn't get another opportunity at returning or recycling any gift I give her.

It doesn't matter what you give mothers that treat you that way, it's never going to be good enough. They have themselves on a pedestal, and they treat the men better as they're the 'bread winners'. Women get pregnant and married off in their minds. They're stuck on survivalist mode.

Once you learn that they're her issues, not yours the better. You'll tolerate her better, and not living under the one roof makes the world of difference.

hatrickpatrick

I don't want to open a sexism debate here, but this is something which seems to be a common enough scenario, of mothers who are utterly toxic towards their daughters, and if they have any brothers, treat them like princes. What's up with that? I've seen it in real life a couple of times, and I couldn't count the number of media depictions (hell, Monica in Friends might be the most well known example). There doesn't seem to be any parallel with fathers and sons.

Any sound psychological basis for this or is it just anecdotal?

eviltwin

OP I know how you feel in a way. My own mother and I haven't had a relationship in years. All the ads make me wish I had that close bond but I make do with my mothe in law instead. Whatever you do on Sunday do what is right for you. Come Monday it will all be over.

SNORBEAST

ilovesleep wrote: »

Its just another hallmark day like valentines in my opinion. Will you be getting something for your mother.

I'm not so sure if I'll be. You see she has nothing more but contempt for me because i will not submit to her control and domination. Right now it's financial control and domination. Its just another another form of control and domination that was always but in a different way. She views her sons as valuable, that must be provided for and views me and my sister as something that owes her because she gave birth to us and raised us and because we were born without a penis. She doesn't want me at home but wont give the same opportunities that she gave to her lads - spend their money in any way they want, and save whats left over and provide them with more money from any savings she had. An automatic rent she thinks shes entitled to from those born without a penis. From a wage already reduced from work and the rest soaked up and absorbed by bills her lads never had to pay for.

Twat.

lachin

SNORBEAST wrote: »

Twat.

Run it's your ma

ilovesleep

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I don't want to open a sexism debate here, but this is something which seems to be a common enough scenario, of mothers who are utterly toxic towards their daughters, and if they have any brothers, treat them like princes. What's up with that? I've seen it in real life a couple of times, and I couldn't count the number of media depictions (hell, Monica in Friends might be the most well known example). There doesn't seem to be any parallel with fathers and sons.

Any sound psychological basis for this or is it just anecdotal?

Everything blew up yesterday. A full blown row.

Something that because that became apparent was that she sees her sons as valuable bringing something to the table. Her daughters are worthless, bringing nothing.

A few years ago, we needed a new kitchen as it was falling in. I organised with the lads, in private as a surprise, look we need a kitchen. I have some small savings. If I fund it, will ye do the work. And we all helped and

ilovesleep

chipped in. I provided 2 grand and they bought a kitchen, rooted the old one and fitted the new one. We helped in our own ways. Another brother provided 1500 for appliances. Was absolutely delighted to help.

A big row broke out yesterday between mam and I, and demanded to know why rent was demanded of me and never of her boys.

An excuse she gave (which was one of many, down through the years like they are saving for holidays) was that they did the work on the kitchen. I reminded her that I funded it and without it, it wouldn't have happened and she dismissed the help that I gave saying 'you live here'.

And her boys weren't?

China has a similar attitude towards women. Boys are valuble. Women are nothing. And with that they have orphangages set up for people to dump girls.

Here in holy catholic ireland. Girls were kept but not wanted. Magenline laundries was one dumping ground for girls.