Do you think regular porn watching could be damaging?

CerebralCortex

pornguy wrote: »

Was just thinking about this.

I watch porn every day. Nothing strange just usually look for the type of girl I'm into getting f*cked. Been sort of bored by it for a long time but still do it, never tempted to look at heavier/degrading stuff

If I wasn't at home I wouldn't miss it (or even think of it) but when I am I would tend to look at it once or twice a day and have a **** in much the same way I'd have a cigarette or a cup of coffee.

I wonder does watching porn have any negative impact on interactions with women. I don't mean in the way I view women ie I understand porn is completely fake and the vast majority of girls aren't into anal or getting splurged in the face.

However I wonder am I less bothered with pulling women because subconsciously the option of watching porngirls is there. Also I wonder do I not get around to doing other things online because I get distracted by porn.

I understand there are porn addictions and obsessions but I'm not talking about that, that's clearly problematic. I'm just curious as to what other lads make of typical porn watching

In all seriousness you could say the same thing in the opposite direction. Sustaining a long term relationship is hard work I'd say (never been in one) and takes up a lot of the very little time one has. Depending on your philosophical outlook (mine) it's just wasted life. In honesty I would prefer to have more interactions with women on a sexual and personal level and I suspect porn watching might be damaging in that respects or at least exacerbates a problem I have at connecting with others that intimately.

Pug160

tsiehta wrote: »

Presenting yourself in an sexually attractive manner does not mean one you wish to be viewed as a sexual object.

Similarly, presenting yourself as an older man with a moustache does not mean you wish to be viewed as a paedophile. However, by the logic in this thread, it would appear that this is a perfectly reasonable way to view such men, and it's selfish for them to expect others to not view them that way.

Surely that's the idea of presenting yourself in a sexually attractive manner? The key word being ''sexually''. That's the point I was trying to make earlier when I was talking about female office workers. There is presentable and stylish and there is overtly sexual clothing. In my experience women dress provocatively because they like the attention. It may not be the sole reason, but they know it comes with the territory and are seemingly happy with it. If it was just to please themselves they'd dress like that in their own homes, but they don't, and there is a reason for that.

I'm pretty sure most men, especially older men, don't really care what people think of their facial hair. That's a really bizarre comparison and not really relevant to the topic we're discussing. I'll help you out a bit and say that a better comparison would be a man who buys an extravagant car. He is pleasing himself, yes. But in a lot of cases it's attempted manipulation. At the very least he knows he'll be judged for having such a car and accepts that.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

+1000000

Really shocked at some of the views in this thread that women can be viewed as objects simply because they're dressed up a lot on a night out. Pretty horrible attitude to have. And I know I don't always agree with some of the posters on this thread in terms of gender issues but I have (or had) great respect for them for speaking out on men's issues.

But this, is just horrible.

Using the term ''dressed up'' is a bit ambiguous. What would you consider as being ''dressed up?'' Tell us why we're being horrible. I'm just stating the things I see and hear. Girls are aware that they are looked upon as sexual objects when they dress a certain way and still continue to do so and enjoy it. Surely if they were so disgusted they wouldn't do it?

jaffacakesyum

Pug160 wrote: »

Using the term ''dressed up'' is a bit ambiguous. What would you consider as being ''dressed up?'' Tell us why we're being horrible. I'm just stating the things I see and hear. Girls are aware that they are looked upon as sexual objects when they dress a certain way and still continue to do so and enjoy it. Surely if they were so disgusted they wouldn't do it?

Yes it is ambiguous. You were referring to women who dress like "porn stars or escorts". I can't say on any night out I've thought gosh that woman looks like a porn star or an escort. Is this the way (some) men think??

Anyway that's just a side note; I've certainly seen women who are beyond what I would ever wear in terms of very tight very short dresses etc. but each to their own. What I would consider dressed up, is basically a scale. The lower end of the scale you have flattering jeans/trousers and nice tops, hair and make-up done (if that's your thing)...higher on the scale you're talking party dresses, or skinny jeans, heels etc. more effort on makeup/hair....and then the VERY high end of the scale is the tight, short dresses, hours spent on hair and makeup, false nails, fake eyelashes, fake tan, boobs popping out etc. Not personally my thing, but each to their own. This extreme end of the scale seems to be what you and others are referring to?

Pug160 wrote: »

Tell us why we're being horrible. I'm just stating the things I see and hear. Girls are aware that they are looked upon as sexual objects when they dress a certain way and still continue to do so and enjoy it. Surely if they were so disgusted they wouldn't do it?

You're being horrible because of this

Pug160 wrote: »

A girl who dresses provocatively is sexualising herself whether she wants to or not. I understand that some girls just like feeling good about themselves and like having a good time, but they are still knowingly presenting themselves as objects. Porn is not the only thing turning girls into objects, it is the girls themselves. Porn is worse though, admittedly.

So not only are you calling women objects, you're saying they are doing it to themselves. That's awfully close to the sort of "slut shaming" attitudes we see every day. I'm nowhere near saying you're the type to victim blame or anything like that, I'm just raising your awareness of your attitudes (cue condescending 'well thank you very much about raising my attitudes towards women, but meh...whatever).

I seriously don't understand this, it's not me coming from a woman standpoint, it's just about simple decency. Women aren't objects. Men aren't objects. We're human beings. Sexy beings sometimes :pac: but nonetheless human. And I don't see why anyone should get away with calling women sexual objects because of the way they dress. Same can be said for men. If you've ever been to a gay bar, you might see that they sometimes have male staff with their shirts off, male dancers etc. They are there simply for their looks, to attract attention. Therefore they can be said to be sexualising themselves, I guess. (Although it's just a job it's not about attracting a partner) BUT the big thing is they cannot (or should not IMO) be referred to as objects. They're still men with personalities like you, why should they be viewed as objects to be used??!!

Pug160

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Yes it is ambiguous. You were referring to women who dress like "porn stars or escorts". I can't say on any night out I've thought gosh that woman looks like a porn star or an escort. Is this the way (some) men think??

Anyway that's just a side note; I've certainly seen women who are beyond what I would ever wear in terms of very tight very short dresses etc. but each to their own. What I would consider dressed up, is basically a scale. The lower end of the scale you have flattering jeans/trousers and nice tops, hair and make-up done (if that's your thing)...higher on the scale you're talking party dresses, or skinny jeans, heels etc. more effort on makeup/hair....and then the VERY high end of the scale is the tight, short dresses, hours spent on hair and makeup, false nails, fake eyelashes, fake tan, boobs popping out etc. Not personally my thing, but each to their own. This extreme end of the scale seems to be what you and others are referring to?

*Response* It is, yes. It is quite common though, despite being extreme. If you're out in a large town or city on a Saturday night you must see a lot of those types surely. They are very much dressed like porn stars and escorts.


You're being horrible because of this



So not only are you calling women objects, you're saying they are doing it to themselves. That's awfully close to the sort of "slut shaming" attitudes we see every day. I'm nowhere near saying you're the type to victim blame or anything like that, I'm just raising your awareness of your attitudes (cue condescending 'well thank you very much about raising my attitudes towards women, but meh...whatever).

I seriously don't understand this, it's not me coming from a woman standpoint, it's just about simple decency. Women aren't objects. Men aren't objects. We're human beings. Sexy beings sometimes :pac: but nonetheless human. And I don't see why anyone should get away with calling women sexual objects because of the way they dress. Same can be said for men. If you've ever been to a gay bar, you might see that they sometimes have male staff with their shirts off, male dancers etc. They are there simply for their looks, to attract attention. Therefore they can be said to be sexualising themselves, I guess. (Although it's just a job it's not about attracting a partner) BUT the big thing is they cannot (or should not IMO) be referred to as objects. They're still men with personalities like you, why should they be viewed as objects to be used??!!

I'm not calling women objects. I'm saying there are some women who go out either with the intention of becoming an object or with the realisation that dressing a certain way will make them become objects whether that is their intention or not. I feel you're missing the point slightly. No one is saying anybody is brainless or has no personality or is only worthy of being used.

When we see somebody we know nothing about, all we have at our disposal is a physical body - nothing else. And in that moment in time our brains process information. Now, there's not too much that can be processed with such limited information, other than the fact the person is dressed in a very revealing way. We do judge, yes, but it's involuntary. We're judging the person based on what we already know. Now, if I were to go up and talk to her, and start a conversation and find out who is she behind that, my initial judgement will be accompanied by my feelings for her as a person, because she has told me a bit about herself.

I am not saying all women are exhibitionists who like objectifying. But I do reckon that for one night a week (or in some cases more), some girls do enjoy the sort of attention they get from dressing how they do. Maybe you could ask some of these girls if they know they're objectifying themselves, and if so do they mind. I think quite a lot of them would be honest, while others would say what they think they should say. Do not underestimate the boost attention can give, by the way. I got a tiny little taste of what it must be like when I started building my body up a couple of years ago, and there's no question that it is a nice feeling. Some women become addicted to it, like a drug, and like a drug user they keep upping the dose, which means wearing more and more revealing outfits. I have seen girls in lingerie, I kid you not.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable here, just telling what I think is the truth.

tsiehta

Pug160 wrote: »

Surely that's the idea of presenting yourself in a sexually attractive manner?

To be viewed as an object?

Objectification and viewing people as sexual objects means to (often subconsciously) view people in a dehumanizing fashion, as a commodity, or as having no worth other than to provide sexual gratification.

Someone should be able to dress in a sexually attractive manner, even to the extent to which some might call it "provocative", without being viewed as mere objects for sexual gratification.

jaffacakesyum

Pug160 wrote: »

I'm not calling women objects. I'm saying there are some women who go out either with the intention of becoming an object or with the realisation that dressing a certain way will make them become objects whether that is their intention or not. I feel you're missing the point slightly. No one is saying anybody is brainless or has no personality or is only worthy of being used.

Um ok..so seeing as "i'm missing the point", let me get this clear. This is what you said:

Pug160 wrote: »

I understand that some girls just like feeling good about themselves and like having a good time, but they are still knowingly presenting themselves as objects. Porn is not the only thing turning girls into objects, it is the girls themselves.

So you're saying you're not calling women objects, but women themselves are presenting themselves as object by how they dress.Have I got it right so far? Surely though, the fact that you believe women that dress a certain way are presenting themselves as objects, it's sort of akin to you yourself having the opinion that those certain women are indeed objects or are 'objectifying themselves'. No? I don't want to put words in your mouth here that's just the impression I get off you.

So basically are you saying women dress the way they do (not all women - just the category we're talking about) to be viewed as objects? I'm not being smart here but how do you know all this? How do you know that's what women are doing?? I'm genuinely curious because I, as a woman, don't speak on behalf of all women so I don't know peoples realisations, intentions etc. but my whole debate in this conversation is that I'd imagine most women don't want to be viewed as objects. I'd imagine most women dress the way they do because 1) they like it. they think it's fashionable and they wear what they want 2) it makes them feel good about themselves 3) they think it looks sexy and would attract a partner. I wouldn't include "it presents themselves as an object and thats what they want" in that list. But you would?

When we see somebody we know nothing about, all we have at our disposal is a physical body - nothing else. And in that moment in time our brains process information. Now, there's not too much that can be processed with such limited information, other than the fact the person is dressed in a very revealing way. We do judge, yes, but it's involuntary. We're judging the person based on what we already know. Now, if I were to go up and talk to her, and start a conversation and find out who is she behind that, my initial judgement will be accompanied by my feelings for her as a person, because she has told me a bit about herself.

Yep agreed - people judge based on appearances. Sad but true. I do wonder though, as the example was given earlier in the thread, would men on here be so accepting of "ah sure if you present that way you're going to be perceived that way" with the example given for an old man who looks like a paedophile?

I am not saying all women are exhibitionists who like objectifying. But I do reckon that for one night a week (or in some cases more), some girls do enjoy the sort of attention they get from dressing how they do. Maybe you could ask some of these girls if they know they're objectifying themselves, and if so do they mind. I think quite a lot of them would be honest, while others would say what they think they should say. Do not underestimate the boost attention can give, by the way. I got a tiny little taste of what it must be like when I started building my body up a couple of years ago, and there's no question that it is a nice feeling. Some women become addicted to it, like a drug, and like a drug user they keep upping the dose, which means wearing more and more revealing outfits. I have seen girls in lingerie, I kid you not.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable here, just telling what I think is the truth.

Ok so not all women like objectifying, but some do? How many? Is it ALL women who dress the way we've described in this thread, or just some? Is it only women who dress like porn stars and escorts (whatever that is)? How do you decide which ones are objectifying themselves and which ones aren't?

I agree with you some women do love the attention getting dressed up on a night out gives them, of course. Same way, as you say, men (and women) like the attention and confidence boost a good workout gives them. Not denying that at all.

I'm still not convinced by your argument though that

1) women are objectifying themselves by what they wear (here's a few definitions I quickly googled of objectifying: "Degrade to the status of a mere object", "To present or regard as an object", "to treat someone like an object")
2) women "realise dressing a certain way will make them become objects" as you put it

awec

This post has been deleted.

CerebralCortex

Yes I wonder if someone could respond to my post #91?

The Corinthian

CerebralCortex wrote: »

Yes I wonder if someone could respond to my post #91?

Depending on your philosophical outlook (yours) you subscribe to one reality, versus depending on your philosophical outlook (his), where he subscribes to another. Not a lot to respond to, TBH, except that reality is probably somewhere in-between both of your philosophical outlooks.

sam34

galwayguy2, post deleted. there's a mod-note 2 posts back about staying on-topic.

GalwayGuy2

Sorry

Milkman2012

in general if a couple are in a satisfactory relationship there really shouldn't be a lot of porn needed. Perhaps occasionally it can help to spice up a sex life or maybe a couple could watch some soft porn together to help freshen things up but there are other ways to do that, I think the main thing is that ye can discuss its merits, or lack of, good communication is the most important element of any relationship

^ To my ear the above sounds little different to saying "If you have a full and interesting life then there should be no need to go to the cinema and watch a movie". As if going to see movies is done solely to fill some hole in your life you otherwise can not fill or to help improve other parts of your life with freshness or spice.

I do not see it that way. It is not about "needing porn" as you phrase it. Simply about incorporating it into your life if one so wishes to do so.

One can have a perfectly active, healthy sex life that does not need "freshening" or "spice" and simply _want_ to watch porn together. In the same way as you can have a full and happy life and still think "I would _like_ to go to the cinema and watch a movie today". Or one can have a good healthy diet and suddenly crave a McDonalds.

The Corinthian

Milkman2012 wrote: »

in general if a couple are in a satisfactory relationship there really shouldn't be a lot of porn needed.

I really do think people are getting confused between masturbation and porn at this stage. Porn addiction aside, it is generally used solely as a masturbatory aid, just as a sex toy might be. So really, what you're saying is that in general if a couple are in a satisfactory relationship there really shouldn't be a lot of individual masturbation needed.

maybe a couple could watch some soft porn together to help freshen things up

Why soft? Reckon hardcore porn will damage womens' fragile sensibilities?

The Corinthian

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-22261144

DHFrame

At the end of the day Porn can be very destructive to a person's ability to get on in life normally. Porn reduces the ability to cope, down to not being able to cope with mundane things like washing up, taking a phone call or making one.

Porn's positive effects (if any) are of so low percentage compared to the negative, to the majority of Teenagers and Men using it, that not doing it will have a dramatic effect on the way they live their lives. I know, because I struggled with porn addiction for 20 years and I am 1 year free. I am now having the best time I have ever had in my life.

The crippling Anxiety that porn use caused has gone. I blamed the Anxiety on other things, upbringing, life. Just think about the effects of masterbating to porn 3 times a day before you tell everyone it's good for you. It's not. Far from it.

syklops

The Corinthian wrote: »

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-22261144

From the article:

"Pornography is an industry... [it] is the literature of prostitution," she said.

"Pornography is strictly a way to make money," she added.

Not a very good way to make money. Who buys it anymore? Not just from an economic point of view, but the amateur stuff is usually better.

DHFrame wrote:

At the end of the day Porn can be very destructive to a person's ability to get on in life normally. Porn reduces the ability to cope, down to not being able to cope with mundane things like washing up, taking a phone call or making one.

Porn's positive effects (if any) are of so low percentage compared to the negative to the majority of Teenagers and Men using it that not doing it will have a dramatic effect on the way you live your life. I know, because I struggled with porn addiction for 20 years and I am 1 year free. I am now having the best time I have ever had in my life.

The crippling Anxiety that porn used to cause has gone. I blamed the Anxiety on other things, upbringing, life. Just think about the effects of masterbating to porn 3 times a day before you tell everyone it's good for you. It's not. Far from it.

There is nothing inherent in porn that reduces ones ability to cope with things, nor is it highly addictive.

DHFrame

syklops wrote: »

There is nothing inherent in porn that reduces ones ability to cope with things, nor is it highly addictive.

How can you tell me that? I felt it. I couldn't stop even though I would have giving my right arm to. That's addiction. Porn itself is just video. I'm not addicted to video. I am addicted to something much bigger than just an MPEG on a screen.

My statement is based on experience, having done it for 20 years and then stopping. Have you based your statement on that? Just be interesting to know how long you stopped for to realise that nothing in your life got any better after quitting porn.

And for the record, anything can be addictive. Chewing your fingernails, beating an animal or drinking alcohol. It doesn't always need a external substance involved - that's the first mistake usually made when trying to understand addiction. There is nothing in heritably addicting in going out and getting pissed every night or using prostitutes. The understanding is much greater than the delivery mechanism.

syklops

DHFrame wrote: »

How can you tell me that? I felt it. I couldn't stop even though I would have giving my right arm to. That's addiction. Porn itself is just video. I'm not addicted to video. I am addicted to something much bigger than just an MPEG on a screen.

My statement is based on experience, having done it for 20 years and then stopping. Have you based your statement on that? Just be interesting to know how long you stopped for to realise that nothing in your life got any better after quitting porn.

And for the record, anything can be addictive. Chewing your fingernails, beating an animal or drinking alcohol. It doesn't always need a external substance involved - that's the first mistake usually made when trying to understand addiction. There is nothing in heritably addicting in going out and getting pissed every night or using prostitutes. The understanding is much greater than the delivery mechanism.

Im not quite sure what to say now. You admit that anything can be addictive. Even something like chewing you fingernails. I agree 100%, but Im not sure where that leaves the conversation. Like I said there is nothing inherent to porn which is bad for you. Being addicted to it is bad for you. Maybe we can all agree that addiction is bad and leave it there?

The Corinthian

syklops wrote: »

Not a very good way to make money.

Not really relevant to a discussion about whether porn is too for one to watch, as opposed to participate in. However, in at least the American context, if you are a woman with at best a high-school education and no other qualifications, at best, then earning hundreds to thousands per flick translates to a pretty good income, especially if the alternative is working at a checkout or for tips waiting tables. Note, I only said woman, because men in porn earn a fraction of what the women earn.

DHFrame wrote: »

And for the record, anything can be addictive. Chewing your fingernails, beating an animal or drinking alcohol. It doesn't always need a external substance involved - that's the first mistake usually made when trying to understand addiction. There is nothing in heritably addicting in going out and getting pissed every night or using prostitutes. The understanding is much greater than the delivery mechanism.

If that is the case, anything can be harmful twoards one; in your case it happened to be excessive masturbation, encouraged by easy access to porn.

Honestly, is someone is drawn to masturbating 3+ times a day, they realistically have a problem anyway. You think that these problems didn't exist before the Internet? Or porn in Ireland, for that matter (Playboy only became legal in Ireland in the mid-nineties) and I can assure you there were plenty of **** back in the eighties - they just had better imagination.

syklops

The Corinthian wrote: »

Not really relevant to a discussion about whether porn is too for one to watch, as opposed to participate in. However, in at least the American context, if you are a woman with at best a high-school education and no other qualifications, at best, then earning hundreds to thousands per flick translates to a pretty good income, especially if the alternative is working at a checkout or for tips waiting tables. Note, I only said woman, because men in porn earn a fraction of what the women earn.

That comment was off topic and I was responding to Germaine Greer's comment from the article you posted that it was all 'just' a way to make money.

DeanAustin

DHFrame wrote: »

How can you tell me that? I felt it. I couldn't stop even though I would have giving my right arm to. That's addiction. Porn itself is just video. I'm not addicted to video. I am addicted to something much bigger than just an MPEG on a screen.

My statement is based on experience, having done it for 20 years and then stopping. Have you based your statement on that? Just be interesting to know how long you stopped for to realise that nothing in your life got any better after quitting porn.

And for the record, anything can be addictive. Chewing your fingernails, beating an animal or drinking alcohol. It doesn't always need a external substance involved - that's the first mistake usually made when trying to understand addiction. There is nothing in heritably addicting in going out and getting pissed every night or using prostitutes. The understanding is much greater than the delivery mechanism.

That might have solved your problem.

DHFrame

DHFrame wrote: »

At the end of the day Porn can be very destructive to a person's ability to get on in life normally.

This is a statement that says almost nothing at all though. At the end of the day _anything_ "can be" very destructive to a person's ability to get on in life. Alcohol, computer games, reality tv shows, even jig saw puzzles. Anything at all if engaged in past the bounds of moderation "can be" destructive.

So since your statement can apply to anything it pretty much applies to nothing. It is a mere statement of the obvious and none of the effects you list - such as failing to do the washing up - are any different from any other situation where a user is engaging in something to the detriment of the rest of their life.

DHFrame wrote: »

Porn's positive effects (if any) are of so low percentage compared to the negative

What negative though? As above if one is not being moderate in the use of ANYTHING then this is a detriment in life of course. However if we assume use that is somewhere between low moderate and heavy moderate - then what "negatives" are you envisioning here to those using it?

DHFrame wrote: »

I struggled with porn addiction for 20 years and I am 1 year free. I am now having the best time I have ever had in my life.

No doubt. Because you had an addiction. This is not the fault of porn. It could have been anything you were addicted to. You issue is with addiction - not porn - but you are simply mistakenly heaping the blame for your woes on porn itself rather than the state of addiction you were in.

Congratulations on overcoming addiction - it is one of the hardest things members of our species ever has to do. But it was addiction you beat - not pronography - and it is all too easy to externalise our failings and demonise the object of our addictions and the key to maintaining victory over addiction is to be clear where those failings lie. If you blame the target of your addictions - wrongly - then you risk falling back into that addiction again or - even - falling into it with something new because you think you have porn beaten but addiction can come from any where else.

Daveysil15

DHFrame wrote: »

Just think about the effects of masterbating to porn 3 times a day before you tell everyone it's good for you. It's not. Far from it.

What if it was only 3 times a week? Would that be bad for you? Too much of anything is a bad thing.

Hagar the Nice.

En eee won who sez its badd for yoor I site is tawkin nonsense.

Panthro

Hagar the Nice. wrote: »

En eee won who sez its badd for yoor I site is tawkin nonsense.

Mod warning:
useless posts are useless and any more shyte posts will be actioned against.

nucker

pornguy wrote: »

Was just thinking about this.

I watch porn every day. Nothing strange just usually look for the type of girl I'm into getting f*cked. Been sort of bored by it for a long time but still do it, never tempted to look at heavier/degrading stuff

If I wasn't at home I wouldn't miss it (or even think of it) but when I am I would tend to look at it once or twice a day and have a **** in much the same way I'd have a cigarette or a cup of coffee.

I wonder does watching porn have any negative impact on interactions with women. I don't mean in the way I view women ie I understand porn is completely fake and the vast majority of girls aren't into anal or getting splurged in the face.

However I wonder am I less bothered with pulling women because subconsciously the option of watching porngirls is there. Also I wonder do I not get around to doing other things online because I get distracted by porn.

I understand there are porn addictions and obsessions but I'm not talking about that, that's clearly problematic. I'm just curious as to what other lads make of typical porn watching

I find porn boring, all it is for me is porn stars making funny noises, bark out the odd orders (too rude even in context to say on here) and then the "moneyshot" etc......, but if you take it seriously, it may just do that, and that is "damage" you. I don't think you will be less subconsciously lacking the willingness to pull a lady. The thing is, she may or may not agree with you watching porn. I just hope my lady doesn't think its odd for me not wanting to watch porn

Honey-ec

I've been following this thread since its inception and have been trying to frame my thoughts on it pretty much since then. Here's my attempt to focus a reply:

Do I think porn is inherently harmful? No. I love porn, I'll be the first to admit that. Do I think it has the potential to cause harm in individuals? Hell yes, and that has more to do with ease of access than anything else, imo.

I'm 31. When I was growing up, my access to porn was limited to finding one of my brothers' skin mags stashed behind the cistern (jackpot!) or getting the ten minute freeview on Television X when I babysat for my neighbours who had cable. Other than that, all of my views/expectations/experiences of sex came from the same fumbles/games of truth or dare/experimentation that I'm sure pretty much everyone of my generation indulged in.

However, now pretty much everyone over the age of about 10 has a smartphone and access to a whole world of hardcore porn at their fingertips 24/7, and that scares the absolute shit out of me. I have absolutely no doubt that there's a whole generation of teens out there who are framing their sexual psyche around what they see in porn. I would hate for my 13 year-old nephew to think that all women are absolutely gagging to take it up the ass, just as much as I'd hate for my 12-year-old niece to think that group sex is the norm. Clarification: I have absolutely no issue with either of these, btw, but they're matters of choice for consenting adults who've made an informed choice, not for naive teenagers who think they have to do it to be cool.

Now, clearly, it's up to parents to make sure their children are well-equipped to deal with the porn onslaught. Imo, Net Nannies and whatnot are beyond usless - all the teens I know are lightyears ahead of their parents in terms of technology. So that leaves frank, open discussion. But I don't hold out any great hope that many parents out there are willing to discuss anal sex, gaping, humiliation, staged rape scenes et al with their children. So I do worry that there are an awful lot of kids with extremely skewed views on what human sexuality is *actually* like out there.

And finally, for what it's worth, I definitely think that the boundaries of what's "mainstream" have been pushed beyond the pale at this stage. Like I said, I've been watching porn for a long time now, but I could have happily lived the rest of my life without ever stumbling across of a gif of a prolapsed anus while browsing my site of choice...

Galwayguy35

There was a programme on recently and part of it was showing parents what does be on porn sites, of course they were all "shocked and horrified" and never knew any of this.

Now most of them were around my age and i don't believe for a minute the story they were spinning that they didn't know what the different catagories do be on your average porn site.

Now maybe I'm being a bit naive but I would imagine if parents really want to stop their kids watching adult sites then it can be done.

random1337

The first time I tried to have sex with my first girlfriend I tried all the rough stuff I had seen on the porno sites, Id thought she'd love it seeing as the girls in the movies love it so much, but long story short I didn't lose my v-card that night. Maybe she was just a conservative girl, but I don't think theres anything wrong with porno, I watch it + fap 3-4 times a day and im a well-balanced individual